Adele Queen of the Music Awards
Adele has had a very good couple of months. She has won nearly every award that anyone could possibly imagine and has sold millions of records all around the world. She is arguably the most popular singer in the world right now. She is also quite a positive role model for lots of reasons. She is not a small woman by any measure, but she is still very attractive. She was also very down to earth. She was still just like a normal person in her day to day life. When she was approached about being on a messy television show, she did not have any real problem with it. She was someone who could always laugh at herself. She did not take herself too seriously. She actually thought that the idea of someone going to all of the serious awards ceremonies and winning a load of awards and then getting gunged was quite hilarious. The producers of the show were surprised that she would agree to do something like this. They were very happy to have such a big star on their show as well. Adele had grown up in England and had always watched shows where people were gunged as she was growing up. She used to love to watch it and always wondered what it would be like. She was certainly going to be given the chance to find out on this day. She thought that the whole thing was really funny.
Adele wore a black top with sparkles on it and a pair of tight dark blue jeans. She wore her hair back but highly styled, as she usually did for awards ceremonies and shows like that. She did not know what to wear. What is appropriate attire to wear while being gunged? There were no airs and graces about Adele. She did not consider herself to be a star and certainly did not consider herself to be attractive in any way. She did not assume anything and always conducted herself like a normal person. She was a little bit nervous about the mess to come, but it was more of a giddy excitement. A mixture of excitement and embarrassment rushed through her body. She chewed gum as a way to overcome the nerves that she did have. Let Her Have It was the show that she was going to be appearing on. It was advertised as a sort of music awards season special. Adele, of course was going to be the guest of honour.
The set was made up to look like an awards stage. There was a podium and gigantic models of various awards. The set was all done up with golds and blues. When the show started, Mr. G. and Adele were announced. A voice came on the loud speaker, the way that it would at an awards show. The man’s voice filled the air. “Please welcome our presenters. Our esteemed host, he has done all sorts of messy things to lots of great people. He is the one and only everybody’s favourite, Mr. G.,” he said in a comical fashion. “ And joining him, one of the biggest recording artists in the world. With millions of records sold all over the world. Certainly the biggest artist of the year, the one and only, Adele.” Everyone clapped and cheered. Mr. G. and Adele came out together arm and arm through the centre of the stage. Mr. G. was dressed in a tuxedo with a top hat. They tried to look serious, but ended up laughing as they walked up to the podium together. The stayed in character for a minute, Mr. G. holding an envelope.
“I like what you have done to the place,” Adele said. “Why thank you. I am glad you like it. Most of it is for your benefit. Because you have won every award known to man on planet earth, we thought it only fitting. We thought it would make you feel more at home,” he said. “Well, I have to say, I feel more comfortable here than at most other awards shows. They are all so stuffy and formal,” she said. “Well, we have never been accused of that. At any rate, we are so pleased and privileged to have you here with us today. You look lovely as well,” he said. “Oh it is my pleasure,” she said,” And you are being to kind. I don’t look that good,” she said. “That is nonsense , you are a beautiful woman,” Mr. G. said. She blushed and shook her hand. “Well I am hardly a size zero am I?,” she said. “Well Adele, I for one think that you are beautiful both inside and outside,” he responded. “Anyway, I heard that you prejudge people sometimes as well. I saw an interview once where you said that you didn’t like us short guys,” Mr. G. said. Adele blushed and laughed. “I didn’t mean it, there is nothing wrong with short guys. Sometimes nice things come in small packages,” she laughed,” That did not come out right at all.” They both laughed. “Moving swiftly on,” she joked.
“So anyway, welcome to Let Her Have It, Adele, tonight is our music awards special and you are the guest of honour. In my hand, I hold this envelope. Inside the envelope lies the name of our winner for messy musician of the year,” he said. “It’s Jessie J isn’t it?,” Adele joked, knowing, of course that it would be her name in the envelope. “Well I think it should be. I think she deserves it. Imagine Jessie dripping with gunge. Wouldn’t that be great?,” she joked. “No it’s not Jessie J, funnily enough,” Mr. G. said. “Damn,” she laughed, “She deserves this more than me though,” Adele protested in a fake pleading voice. “Well, I can reveal that the winner of the award is.,” he opened the envelope and gave a dramatic pause, although everyone already knew what the card was going to say. “The winner is.. You… Adele,” he said. “Oh gosh, I am so shocked,” Adele said sarcastically. She laughed. He pulled out an award. It was gold, it looked like a Grammy but slightly altered. He held his hand out and walked to the side slightly. He advised her to make her acceptance speech. She giggled.
“I am so grateful to receive this prestigious award, you have no idea. Of all the awards I have received this one is definitely the dearest to my heart. It will hold pride of place in my home,” she gave the speech in a serious tone of voice. “It will be there for everyone to see. I can brag to everyone. Lots of people have won Grammys and Oscars. As far as I know I am the only one to win this award. This one means a lot. I have never been more proud in my life. This is my finest hour. This is awesome. I have never been so proud,” she pretended to get teary eyed and emotional. “You like me, you really like me,” she said sarcastically. Although she was being over the top and sarcastic, she actually did feel honoured to receive the award.
Adele continued to speak, as her speech was nearing its conclusion, she lifted the award in the air. As she lifted the award, green gunge exploded out of the top of the award. It exploded straight up Into the air and straight into Adele’s face and all over her hair. Adele laughed and screamed as the gunge flew straight into her face. “Oh god,” she screamed and gave out her huge distinctive laugh. She flapped her hands about, but her face and hair were already completely splattered in the green gunge. The flow of the gunge was like a geyser in her face. It didn’t last that long but it was relatively strong. It soon stopped, Adele placed her fingers along the sides of her hair, gunge dripping from the ends. She continued laughing. She held her stomach, it started to hurt she was laughing so hard. “This is hilarious,” she said, in a laughing, gunge muffled voice. “AAAGGH!,” she sputtered. When it was all over, she placed her hands on her hips and shook her head, laughing. “Can I say, that was not planned,” she added, speaking at the podium.
When Adele returned to the podium, quite unexpectedly, the podium began to shoot forth with pink gunge. Adele flapped her hands, almost swimming in the onslaught of gunge the flew at her from the podium. Then top of the podium jerked backwards, this sent a flow of foamy cream upwards and back, all over Adele. She wiggled and danced as the gunge and cream flew at her. She raised her hands to try and block some of the flow. She lifted her leg as her whole body was sprayed in the foamy cream. She screamed and squealed, laughing the whole time. The gunge and the foam came from both sides, the back and the top of the podium. It must have been fitted with hoses or jets. Adele was, essentially, being hosed down with creamy foam and gunge. She put one hand over her mouth in embarrassment. Her eyes widened. When the flow finally stopped, Adele had to put her arm on the podium to catch her breath for a minute. She was short of breath at this point. The cream and gunge poured down her face. She was covered in a combination of green, pink and white. She continued to laugh uproariously. She slapped her knee, her mouth wide open. “Isn’t this better than the Brit Awards?,” Mr. G. joked. “You have no idea,” Adele responded. She ran her hand over her forehead, clearing some of the mess away.
Adele had no idea what to expect next or where from. She thought that maybe that would be the end of it, but it was not. Just then, she heard a sort of creaking noise coming from above her. It was very faint and almost not even noticeable. Unfortunately for Adele, as she looked up in the air, a banana cream pie came falling from the sky. It fell from above and landed straight down into Adele’s face as she was looking upwards. It plummeted down at her. Before she could react in anyway at all, it hit her in the face. It landed with a splat on her face. When the creamy yellow and white pie hit her face, the impact caused it to explode, sending cream, pie filling and bits of banana in all directions. The distance that the pie had fallen and the angle caused it to completely cover Adele from the neck up in the pie. Bits of banana slices stuck to her face. Her face was now covered in a mask of white whipped cream and yellow banana pie filling. Her mouth just stayed wide open. She could barely move or speak because of the shock. She just took her index finger and stuck it in her mouth, tasting some of the decidedly yummy banana cream pie. Her breasts were now decorated in the pie filling as well. Adele’s clothes were wet and soggy by now with mess. The began to become restrictive, clinging to her ample, juicy frame. She was now plastered with pie as well. The sight of the award winning singer totally plastered with creamy pie was some to be seen. She licked her lips and stood transfixed on the spot.
She just stood there for a minute. Then she heard a creaking sound just like before only much louder now. She looked up in the air, almost shell shocked. As she looked up in the air, again she could barely react. This time a veritable rain storm of pies fell down, one after another. She cringed and shrugged her shoulders. She closed her eyes and screamed. With that, what must have been half a dozen pies fell down from the air. Each one fell down and landed on their targeted area of Adele’s ample body. Pies hit her breasts, her belly, her legs and her backside, sending pie filling everywhere, all over her body. One would hit her body and send her staggering and then another would hot her. She began laughing and screeching again as she was bombarded by the assault of the pies from above. When the onslaught ceased, Adele was pretty much covered in various types of pie from her head to her feet. There appeared to be coconut, chocolate, strawberry and even pumpkin in the mix. She staggered around, laughing, trying to push off some of the excess pie that covered her clothes and body. When she finally caught her breath, Adele muttered, “Well that was educational.” She clapped her hands and laughed.
She felt like surely this was it. What more could be done. “Adele,” Mr. G. said,” We have one last honour for you. We know that you are a lady of the people and would like to give our audience a treat.” “Oh of course, be my guest. I’m all yours,” she responded sarcastically. “So, we thought we would bring something special out. Bring it out boys,” Mr. G. said. With that, four stage hands wheeled out a pillory. “Oh my God,” Adele said. She laughed and pointed at it. “No way,” she said. “Well, Adele, what we were proposing to do was to put you into the stocks and let some of our lovely audience members pelt you with some food. What do you say?,” he said in a jovial voice. Adele shook her head waived her hands. The crowd cheered for her to accept. “Go on then,” she muttered sheepishly. This was about as embarrassing as It could get. Adele never in her wildest dreams ever expected to be put into a pillory, but it was about to happen to her. She was already plastered with pie. She took Mr. G.’s hand and walked over to the pillory. “Be gentle with me,” she said. He lifted the top of the stocks so Adele could get in. She bent over and placed her wrists and neck in the stocks. He asked if she was ready and she confirmed that she was. He lowered the top of the stocks down onto Adele. It was quite a tight fit, but he was able to pull the bar down and secure it around Adele’s neck. She was locked in very tightly. Her messy head and hands protruding from the front of the stocks. “I bet you love getting me in this position. And no staring at my bum,” she joked. She was bent over in the stocks. She smiled and moved the muscles in her face around, awaiting what was going to be coming at her next. Mr. G. then went up the audience to pick some volunteers. There was no shortage of people willing to do this. He selected about half a dozen or so people who were dying to mess up Adele. While he did that a cart full of rotten vegetables and leftover food was brought out and places about six feet across from the pillory. Mr. G. led the group from the audience down to the cart and got them into position.
“Ok,” he said,” It could not be more simple. We will count down from three. When we get to the end, everybody can grab what they want from the trays and can just let Adele have it.” The audience members celebrated. He then walked up to Adele and put the microphone down to her mouth. “How are you feeling Adele?,” he asked. “Well, I am a bit tied up at the moment. Please be gentle with me guys. “ She stuck her tongue out. “Ugh, please,” she winged,” Don’t you laugh either,” she said pointing to Mr. G. She then gave a huge sarcastic smile. “Oh my god, please don’t do this. I’ll be really, really good,” she joked. The cart was filled with rotten pumpkins, tomatoes, eggplants, baked beans, shepherd’s pie and even some bits of jellied eels, squid and octopus. The audience members looked down and chose what they wanted to begin with. They got ready to nail her. “Ok everyone, remember on the count of three, it is time to nail Adele.” “Noooo,” she screamed and squealed, kicking her feet.
“Ok everyone, here we go. Three… two… one…nail her,” Mr. G. said. When he said that Adele’s song Rolling In the Deep started playing and the mess began to fly. Adele closed her eyes and blushed as the mess flew threw the air. The people began to pelt her with the contents of the cart. She squealed as the food hit her in the face. Bits like tomatoes bounced off, but other bits stuck all over Adele and the pillory. Her head was the major target. An eggplant hit her on the head and stuck to the side of her face, busting open, covering her in the contents. Bits of squid of all things smacked her in the face. She was then hit by a barrage of the various foods. Beans hit her and rolled down her face. Shepherd’s pie was hurled at her. Large chunks sticking to her face and hair. She could not resist. She could only move her lips and try to blow some of the mess off of her face. She stuck out her tongue as jellied eels were thrown at her. The tentacles dangling from her face. Collected mess dripping down her chin onto the floor. Adele in this situation like some sort of bizarre medieval ritual. The people were almost fighting for items to throw. The onslaught seemed to go on for minutes.
When it was nearly over, someone took a whole hollowed out pumpkin and brought it over to Adele. “It matches my hair,” she joked. The person stuck their hand into the pumpkin and pulled out all of the insides including the seeds. They teased Adele with it. “MMM, looks yummy doesn’t it,” they teased in a sarcastic voice. They stuck their hand in and pulled out a huge handful of the disgusting innards of the pumpkin. It almost looked like someone had blown their nose. They pulled their hand out and then thrust the contents into Adele’s face. She squealed as the person’s hand pushed the messy pumpkin insides into her face. They twisted it in Adele’s face, messing up her styled hair. They then pulled their hand away, the bulk of the messiness stuck to Adele’s face. The person cheered as the walked away. Adele’s face was now a mixture of slimy gook, pumpkin seeds and pumpkin flesh all over Adele’s overly exaggerated frowny face. She pretended like she was going to cry, pouting in an exaggerated way. The camera zoomed in up close. Adele gave an exaggerated pained look and smile into the camera. It was quite a site seeing the queen of awards season locked in a pillory dripping with mess.
“Well, well, well, how was that?,” Mr. G. asked, holding the microphone to Adele’s messy mouth. “It was fantastic,” Adele said sarcastically,” I will never forget it, let’s put it that way. Can you let me out of here now please. I am not in the best of shape and my neck and back are beginning to ache,” she thought she would play on everyone’s sympathy. Mr. G. walked over and opened the stocks. When he did it dislodged a lot of excess mess which fell down Adele’s back and down her body. Adele lifted her body out of the device and stood up. She wiped some of the mess from her face and closes. She stretched her legs and back. She then, unexpectedly grabbed Mr. G. and hugged him, wrapping herself around him. “ I knew you wanted to get in on this,” she joked. “Are you still happy for the award, Adele,” he asked, trapped in her arms. “ Oh yes and the pies and the pumpkin and the gunge. I enjoyed it all. Hey, it was a laugh. I’m not letting go by the way ,” she teased.
“Well ok then, thanks to everyone for joining us and to our lovely guest Adele. She was such a good sport.” “Thanks to everyone for my award” “So that is goodnight from me and goodnight from Adele.” “Goodnight everyone,” she said. Still refusing to let go of Mr. G. The camera came closer and she smiled into it, still gripping him tightly.