Johnny Depp revenge of Winona Ryder
Gunge your Ex was a concept that was sweeping Hollywood.
There was a lot of messy Hollywood breakups involving a lot of really large
egos. The concept even spread to more historical couples. The magic of story
writing and the internet was that the bounds of time need not apply, only the
bounds of one’s imagination. One couple that famously broke up was Johnny Depp
and Winona Ryder. Both of them were somewhat turbulent. At any rate, their
happiness did not last and their relationship broke down. They were selected to
appear on Gunge your ex. Depp was a very private person and could be very aloof
at times. It was almost shocking that he would agree to appear on such a show.
The reason that he agreed was that he knew that the studio audience and the
jury were mostly fawning female fans that would be biased in his favour. He
also knew that Winona’s shyness may come off as bitchiness to such a group of
women. Women who were most likely jealous of Winona in the first place.
The show was very happy to have these two airing their dirty
laundry in public. They were not sure how either would react, but they were
confident in the ultimate outcome. When the two were welcomed to the stage,
they were sat at opposite sides. They both looked awkward and a bit annoyed
with each other. The host welcomed them to the show. The women in the crowd
were already chanting for Johnny. Although, he was quiet and private, he was
still hoping to get some humiliating revenge on his ex.
“Today on Gunge your Ex, we have Winona Ryder and Johnny
Depp. These two were the hottest couple in Hollywood, then it was all over. The
media loved the relationship. It failed, today we are here to pass judgement on
who was to blame and to let one party get their revenge on their ex in front of
the world. That is bound to feel good. Ok, let’s hear Johnnny’s side first,”
the host said. “Well, a big factor is that she would believe whatever the media
would say about me and what I was doing. Most of the time it was not true. She
would never give me the benefit of the doubt and trust me. She drove me into
the arms of other women,” he said. The crowd booed her.
“That is bullshit. You cheated on me tons of times. You may
not want to admit it, but some of what was being said must have had truth to
it. You were always away with other women. You know you cheated.” “I cheated in
the end, because you believed that I had cheated even when I hadn’t.” “You
manipulate women. I was only a teenager when we met. I was head over heels and
stupid. You do the same with every young naïve girl you work with.” “You see,
you just get angry and chew me out. You are so uptight. You were never like
that before.” “Yeah, because I was naïve and young. Now I know what you get up
to. All of you men are like it in Hollywood. You think other actors haven’t
tried to pull the same crap on me?”
The host pulled on his collar,”Umm ok. This is getting a
little heated. I think that we have heard enough to have our vote. Audience,
please use your keypads at your seats to vote for who you think is in the right
in this relationship. Then we will get to see the consequences.” Winona rolled
her eyes. Some music played while the audience voted. When the music stopped,
the voting was closed.
“Ok, it is time to reveal our verdict. It turns out that our
impartial jury ruled in favour of, Mr. Depp with 76 percent of the votes.” The audience
cheered. Johnny smirked and looked over at his ex. Winona’s eyes widened. She
shook her head.
“You know what that means,” the host said, “The jury found
in favour of Mr. Depp. That means that he is our winner and that he is going to
get the opportunity to “dump” his ex all over again. He is going to get revenge
on Winona in front of the entire world.” The audience cheered and laughed. Winona
gulped and shrunk back into her chair. She looked mortified. She hid under her
hands and tried to pull the seat cushion up over her face. The host told her
that hiding would not do her any good.
Johnny stood up and waived to his fans, smiling. He looked
down at his slumping ex and chuckled. He was enjoying every minute of this. He soaked
up her embarrassment as she hid under her arms in her chair. She peeked up as
she heard loud cheers and whistles as he was handed a bucket of what appeared to
be New England clam chowder. The women in the crowd began to chant, “Gunge her,
gunge her” over and over again. They delighted in her humiliation. She could
hear some of them shouting, “Gunge the skinny little bitch”
Johnny held the bucket over her and began to slowly tip it
over her. It was a bit cold and runny, so it began to pour all over her like a
tidal wave crashing on her body. She raised her leg as it doused her all over.
The crowd erupted as the chowder was dumped all over.
She was hoping that it was all over, but they had an even
bigger surprise for her. A pillory was wheeled out. When she looked up and saw
it, she was mortified. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. The host took
her over to it and locked her inside. She was now bent over with her neck and
wrists locked in the stocks. She looked up only to see the crowd filled with
women delighting in her humiliation.
Johnny then began to dumped applesauce all over her prone
body. It stuck everywhere. He smeared it on her arms, down her sleeveless
blouse and down her trousers, on her bottom and down her legs. He then
proceeded to dump a bucket of spaghetti hoops all over her slender, pale body.
It dripped all over her, onto the floor below.
He then finished by driving a gigantic peanut butter pie
into her face. He rammed another into her backside, which caused her pants to
drop. Her face and hair were covered in peanut butter, chocolate and cream. The
pie tin and crust stuck in place, sticking between her head and the pillory.
Johnny bowed. He had enjoyed this very much. Winona knew
that the tabloids would be having a field day with this one.
