Monday, 1 April 2013

Jamelia the price of fame

Jamelia the price of fame




Jamelia was a decent sized pop star in her time, but she had not been seen on screen or heard on the radio in some time. This was not her choice. Her career had lagged. This was not unusual in the recording industry. The shelf life of pop stars seems to be getting shorter and shorter these days. The money that Jamelia had earned would not last forever. She was famous in the UK but had never broke America or anything like that, so her earnings were relatively modest. By this point, she knew that she would have to start to earn some money again. Also, she yearned to be back in the spotlight again. Her 15 minutes of fame had been all too brief. She was now all but forgotten. She would do just about anything to reclaim some of her former glory.



She was pleasantly surprised when she was offered the chance to appear on a televised gameshow. The idea of the show was going to be to see what people would be willing to do for money and fame. Since Jamelia was in short supply of both, she agreed to appear. She had very little to lose except some minor embarrassment, but at this point, she didn’t even really mind that so much. Anything to get her face out there and maybe to earn some money would be most welcome in her eyes.



She knew that she was in for embarrassment, but at this point it was better than nothing. She hoped that it would be nothing too humiliating, but expected the worst. She wore a sparkly green dress which showed off her long legs. No one could deny how good she still looked. Little did she know that she would be a laughing stock in a few hours. She was a bit nervous, but she agreed to everything they asked and signed the paperwork before the show.



The show started and Jamelia was welcomed on. She smiled and waived. It was explained that the idea of the show was to see just how far minor celebrities would go to cling onto the last vestiges of their fame. She knew that this could be pretty bad for her, potentially. “Ok Jamelia, time to get this show on the road,” the host said. “What will happen is that we will offer you a stunt. You will get a reward for doing it. There will be a number of these. You will earn the prizes if you agree to do the challenge.” “Understood,” she replied. She was already very humbled by this experience. Nights of wild parties and champagne were the furthest thing from what was about to happen to her. “Ok, then, I think we are all ready to go now,” the host said. “Let the games begin.”



“So, Jamelia, here we go. First we have this lovely container of cottage cheese.” She turned up her nose and gave a disgusted look when she saw the disgusting looked, smelly cottage cheese. “ We have £100 here. It is all for your Jamelia. All you have to do for it is to simply have this cottage cheese poured over your head.” Jameila looked at him in disbelief. She shook her head and thought it over. At first, she was repulsed, but she thought to herself that this is really why she was here. She looked over at him. She leaned over. “Ok,” she said nervously.



“Ok, everyone. Here we go,” he said,” Cottage cheese!” Jamelia looked at him apprehensively. He brought the plastic container of cottage cheese forward. She closed her eyes. She scrunched up her face and neck. He placed the container on top of her head. He turned it over. He pushed the sides of the pliable plastic container. The cottage cheese fell from the container on top of her head. Some of it rolled down her face. Everyone exploded in laughter. The bright white mushy cheese contrasting with her dark brown skin. She gave a disgusted look and did a pretend excited face sarcastically. Some of the cottage cheese fell away some remained on the top of the former celebrity’s head. She gave a sarcastic thumbs up and smiled. “I’m so proud,” she quipped sardonically.



“Well done Jamelia, now it is time for your next challenge. It is quite simple, there will be half a dozen balloons filled with gunge. All you will have to do is pop them using your body. You can use any body part but your nails. If you agree, you will win £300,” he said. Jamelia looked at the balloons. It seemed simple enough. “Yeah, sure, why not,” she replied. She walked over the bucket that contained the balloons. She got into position. “Get, ready, get set, go,” the host said. Everyone began to cheer her on as she got started.



She took out the first balloon. She placed it between her knees. She pushed her knees together. The balloon popped awkwardly. Pink sloppy gunge exploded in a circle on her knees and up and down her legs. She quickly grabbed the next balloon. She tried to pop it the same way as she had before, but it didn’t work. Her knees were a bit slippery. She saw that it wasn’t working so she sat down on the floor. She put the balloon down underneath her legs. She then pushed her legs upward and then down. It didn’t come easily, but it did pop this time. The backs of her legs were splattered in sloppy light blue gunge. She then grabbed the next balloon. his one she positioned on the floor again. This one she positioned on the floor again. This time she held it with her hands and placed it beneath her backside. She closed her eyes and attempted to pushed her backside down onto the balloon. Unfortunately, the balloon slopped out and she slipped onto her rear end on the stage. She grabbed the balloon back and did her best to hold it in place. She forced her rear end downwards onto it. The balloon squished and eventually popped. Her dress and rear end were instantly covered in light purple gunge.



The next balloon, she placed between her elbows. She pushed them together as hard as she possibly could. The balloon busted, sending green gunge exploding up into her face and all over her chest. She grabbed the next balloon and tried to do the same, but it kept slipping and sliding out of her grip. She needed to secure it in place. She decided to go down to the ground. She got down on her knees and held the balloon to her chest. She then pushed her body forward. The balloon eventually burst from the pressure, sending aqua marine gunge all over the front of her dress. She then grabbed the final balloon. This one was the toughest to pop. She tried everything that she possibly good. Her hands and body were all slimy and slippery by now, so this did not help. Eventually, she placed the balloon on the ground. She then laid down on top of it. She then pushed her body down as hard as she possibly could. It looked like a cross between a push up and humping the stage. The balloon burst and orange gunge exploded on her body.



She lay on the floor in exhaustion. She looked up with a satisfied smile. She had done it and earned the prize. The host leaned down and offered her his hand. He helped her up to her feet. She smiled and wiped some of the gunge from her front. “Well done, Jamelia. You did so well. You were very good at that.” “Thank you,” she replied, clapping, applauding herself. “I bet you are wondering what we have planned next for you,” he asked. “I sure am,” she said in a silly voice. “Well, we thought you deserve a nice breakfast. What it will be like is a tar and feathering. Only we will be using yoghurt and cornflakes. You will have to get covered in yoghurt and then cornflakes. The reward will be an appearance on a national radio show later this week.” Of course, there was no way in the world that Jamelia could pass this up. She really needed this. The yoghurt and cornflakes were a small price to pay in her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll do it,” Jamelia replied.



Stagehands came out carrying tubs of yoghurt. Jamelia stood still in the centre of the stage. The men carried the tubs over to her. She pointed at them, “Be gentle,” she quipped, pointing at them and laughing. The men stood behind her and started pouring the yoghurt over her. She scrunched up her face and closed her eyes. Her face could be seen as the yoghurt poured over the back of her head and then the sides of her face. Soon, however, her face disappeared as it was covered in yoghurt. It was poured down her shoulders and all over her body. The men made sure that she was covered in it from head to toe. It was white with a bit of a pink tinge to it. The yogurt soon coated her from head to toe. She wiggled her legs. Her entire face was covered in it as well.



More men then came out with containers of cornflakes. They approached her and started dumping the cornflakes all over her body. They fell with a crunch as they poured down onto her. They stuck to all of the collected yoghurt that she was still covered in. They fell all over her, sticking to her clothes, head and body. She looked forward and took a deep breath. She wiped some from her eyes. Even her hands were covered. She was soon covered in the cereal. She looked like some kind of bizarre chicken. Everyone applauded. She spit some out of her mouth. It fell everywhere. She looked at the host, slightly dejected.



“Well done, Jamelia, you are doing great. There is more though,” he said. “What we have next is a conveyer belt. It is usually used for making automated school lunches.” Of course this was not really true, it was a device that was made for the show. “Basically, a person can be laid out onto the conveyer belt and that person will be moved through the machine. The lunch will be poured out onto them as they make their way through the line.” Jamelia looked at him and shook her head. She bit her lip and laughed. “ If you agree to take part, your prize will be an appearance on Nevermind the buzz cocks.” It seemed a small prize, but Jamelia hadn’t been on such a show in years. It would help her career to no end. She did not even have to think about it. “Ok, I guess I will have to do it,” she said, to the delight of the audience.



Jamelia was led over to the conveyer belt. She placed her backside onto the ramp. She then twirled her legs around and positioned her body in place. She lay on her back, Staring upwards. The stagehands then placed straps from below her around her body, securing her in place on large tray. She was now helpless strapped in place. She was completely at the mercy of the lunch making machine. The host then went over to the lever to switch it on. He smiled. “ Ready, Jamelia?,” he asked. “ I guess,” she replied hesitantly. “Ok then, lunch is served,” he said.



He pulled the lever. A loud buzzer and flashing light went off. The conveyer belt started to move. The tray that she was strapped to began to move forward. She closed her eyes as she began to move forward through the lunch making machine. She was moved forward. She let out a squeal. She had not really expected to be propelled forward like this. As she rolled forward she looked up. She was sent about a yard and a half forward and then was stopped. She heard a noise from above. She tried to look to see what it was. She did not have any time to react. In an instant applesauce poured down onto her face and onto her calves. It fell from the machine in two distinct spots. It splattered on her when it hit her face and legs. She felt the cold applesauce washing over her legs. She got a full face full of it as well. The machine was made to hit the spots perfectly, aiming the mess at her body. Two circles of applesauce covered her face and calves and knee area. She was then jerked forward again.



This time the machine did not stop moving, but some food began to pour again from above. This time it was macaroni and cheese. It was on the canned variety. Curvy pasta in white cheese sauce. It looked as though it had not been cooked. It began to pour at the bottom of her body. She continued moving though through the stream of macaroni and cheese. The effect of this was that poured evenly all over her body from head to toe. It covered her legs, up her hips over her stomach and chest and then covered her head. Her face covered with macaroni and cheese.



As she moved forward food began to be projected at her from the sides of the machine. From the sides mixed vegetables flew at her. Carrots, corn, peas, lima beans flew at her. They soon collected and stuck all over her body. Her sexy body was covered in macaroni and cheese and mixed vegetables. As she moved a bit further it was fruit cocktail that replaced the mixed vegetables. The traditional mix of fruits flew at her. Bits of peaches, pears, grapes and cherries flung through the air at her. They soon joined the vegetables in a disgusting mix on her body. Some of it fell away. Jamelia had now almost disappeared under the pile of food.



The ramp then went on a decline. The speed went up slightly because of it. Jamelia was hurled downwards. When she reached the end of the decline. She hit a wall of mashed potatoes. The potatoes were soft so she was sent straight through them. She emerged on the other side coated in thick mash. The wall was left with a Jamelia shaped hole in it. In an instant, a vat of gravy poured down and emptied all over the potato covered young woman. The thick disgusting lumpy brown gravy plopped down on her head and neck. Next she came to a section where the ramp was covered in mushy peas. The tray pushed through, sloshing them all over. Jamelia wiggled her toes and she was surrounded by mushy peas.



She was then sprung forward. At the sides of her were now coloured bottles. They were different colours. She could tell what they were by the colour they were. Ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo and burger sauce. There was one of each on opposite sides of her. She was stopped between them. A buzzer went off again. Something triggered and all of the bottles were squeezed at once. Her body was soon a rainbow. Red, yellow, green, white and orange. It was like she was being spray painted with condiments. She was covered in stripes of the mess. Like a human cheeseburger.



The whole thing was made to look like a lunchroom. Jamelia was moved forward again. As she moved forward she noticed that their was an enormous trash can above her. When she hit a certain point, it was triggered. It tipped over sending its contents onto Jamelia. It was a collection of discarded food. Bits of ham, mince, cold cuts, beans, noodles, cheese and vegetables poured down on her. Bits of half eaten sandwiches, mouldy pizza slices and spaghetti poured down on her. She closed her eyes and gagged as she was covered in a mountain of leftovers.



Finally, she was jerked forward again. “She needs to wash it all down with a nice cold glass of milk,” the host said. As she reached the end a torrent of ice cold milk poured from the top of the machine onto her. It did little to remove much of the collected mess that piled on the celebrity. She caught her breath as she was showered in milk. Finally she came to the end of the lunch line. There was a cash register and a man dressed as a lunch lady. “£3 please”, he said.



The host came over and carefully unstrapped the sloppy celebrity. She caught her breath and sat up, allowing some of the messy lunch to fall down her body. “That looked like a good lunch. I hope you were hungry,” he said. Jamelia screwed up her face. “ Ha ha,” she said sarcastically. “That looked delicious,” he said. “ Oh fine dining at its best,” she said. She was dishevelled and covered in food. She rubbed her thighs as she stood up, letting more food roll down her body.



“Well, Jamelia, you were a very good sport, so you in win all the prizes well done.” “Thank you, I think,” she said, scratching her head. “You have definitely earned it. Let’s hear it for her,” he said. The camera closed in on her face. She opened her mouth, wiggling her head, pretending to be overly enthusiastic. She gave two thumbs up and laughed.

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