Sunday, 5 July 2015

Taylor Swift wrong rival



Taylor Swift the wrong rival

There was a big Hollywood feud that was going on between Katy Perry and Taylor Swift. For some reason, the two just did not get along with one another. It was something that grew and was blown out of proportion. The exact reasons for the whole thing was pretty unclear. The reason that it all started may have been long forgotten, but the bad blood raged on. Even at awards shows, great care had to be taken that the two were not seated anywhere near one another. To be honest, the whole thing was a little bit ridiculous, but both women were pig headed and slightly immature, so neither was going to be the first to extend the olive branch to the other. They even went so far as to record songs about the differences that they had.

The feud that the two women had lent itself perfectly to a challenge scenario. The two singers happened to have songs that were going to be released at the same time. As a result, there was a bit of back and forth online and in the press about whose song would end up doing better in the charts upon debut. The two argued back and forth for days, bragging that their song was superior and would definitely do better in the chart than their rival’s song would do. The sparring went back and forth and got increasingly heated.

Somehow, things got so heated that someone suggested that a wager be made on the results of the chart that week. Both women were reluctant, but were spurred on by fans as well as their own egos. It was suggested that both women were going to appear on the same chat show that week and that consequences should be put on the wager. Eventually, someone suggested that the winner should get ultimate revenge over the loser and should get to mess the loser. The two women had very mixed emotions about this suggestion, at first. The thought of getting to publicly trash and humiliate someone that they genuinely could not stand was something that both would enjoy immensely, but, of course, there was also the chance that either might lose, and that is not something that either one wanted to happen. The thought of not only getting messed on national television, but having someone that they despised doing it too them was a mortifying thought, to say the least. They were both very reluctant to agree, but in the end, the thought of publicly humiliating their rival was just too good to miss. Both agreed to take part. Taylor believed that her music was doing incredibly well lately and that Katy was a bit of a thing of the past, so was very sure that she would win. She thought that she had nothing to worry about. Katy’s blind dislike of Taylor is what drove her to agree to take part in this.

The day that the whole thing took place was a Sunday. Both tried to snoop at the midweek chart updates, but they were fluctuating a lot. It was too close to call. Sunday arrived and things were deadlocked. The two women had to endure being in the same studio as one another and on the same stage. All they did was glare at one another with disdain. They did not speak and the rivalry was not discussed. They just stood on opposite sides of the stage while the results were announced. As the chart went on, neither one of their songs appeared. It got to the top ten and neither’s song still came up. It went all the way up to number three. It was obvious now that their songs were at number one and two in the chart respectively. It would all come down to the final reveal at the end of the chart show. 

The studio suddenly became very quiet. The tension was building to a fever pitch. Everyone in the room was extremely nervous and no one except the presenter knew what was number one. The two women looked incredibly tense. They bit their fingernails in anticipation. They both looked very uncomfortable. Their legs were literally shaking. They were sweating it out waiting to hear what the results would be. The radio host then began. “All week Katy Perry and Taylor Swift have been battling out for the number one spot in the chart. This time, however, a lot more was on the line than just bragging rights. They both did very well and it was very close. It was back and forth all week long, but I can now reveal our new number one,” they said, explaining everything. “ I can now reveal that the number one single in the country belongs to..,” they paused for effect. Both women bricking it now. It all came down to this. “Katy Perry. Taylor Swift is at number two.” Katy exploded, jumping up and down in joy. She pumped her fist. Taylor buried her face in her hands. She looked very embarrassed. Her face was now bright red. She felt very hot. She was silently led to a chair in the centre of the studio.

“Well done to both Taylor and Katy. You both had massive hits this week.” Katy rubbed her hands together. “Oh yeah,” she said,” It’s time to mess this bitch up.” Taylor sat in the chair and shook her head. She crossed her arms across her chest. She closed her eyes tightly. Katy Perry was handed a large bucket. She smiled and gave an evil laugh. “Oh dear,” she said sarcastically.  She then began to sing some of the lyrics of Taylor’s biggest hit with new words in order to mock her. She said,” Hey, hey, hey. While you were getting down and out about all the liars and dirty, dirty cheats, you could have been pouring mess OVER…TAYLOR..SWIFT’S…HEAD.” She then tipped the bucket over Taylor’s head. 

The bucket was filled with quorn mince chilli. It was filled with imitation ground meat, kidney beans and tomatoes, all in a sloppy tomato sauce. Taylor squealed as the sloppy chilli dumped from above her, all over her head. It poured down onto her hair and down her fringe. It poured down her shoulders and down the sides of her face. She lowered her head as the chilli slithered its way down her face and then down her body. She shivered as she felt the cold touch of the sloppy mess going down her arms and legs and all over her body. She realised now that a beige short combination was not the wisest of choices of attire on this occasion. She felt the chilli dumping between her legs. It covered her shorts and poured down her back. The greasy, sloppy stains that it left along its path would never be able to be removed from her expensive linen outfit. As Katy dumped the mess over her rival, she continued singing, mocking her rival. She sang,” Cause I’m going to pour mess, mess, mess, mess, mess all over Taylor Swift, Swift, Swift, Swift, Swift. I’m going to mess her up. Mess her up,” she sang. Taylor just closed her ears and eyes as chilli poured over her face.

When the bucket was empty, Katy was given a bucket filled with split pea soup. It was a deep army green colour. “The soup is on you,” she said in an accent, mocking Taylor. She then slowly tipped the disgusting mess onto Taylor Swift. Taylor filled her mouth with air, puffing her cheeks out as she was greeted by a face full of pea soup. It splashed down on her from above. Katy took great pleasure in dispersing the soup all over Taylor. As she did, she continued singing about the soup being on Taylor Swift. Soon thick green mess covered the top of Taylor’s head and dripped down her fringe and down her nose and cheeks. Little square orange bits of carrot dangled from her nose and chin. The mess coated her shoulders and clothing. 

Next to come for Taylor was tuna fish. Katy was given an oversized tin of tuna fish. She looked at it and gave a funny look. She then stuck her hand in and took out handfuls of the revolting slop. She plopped some across Taylor’s chest and then smeared some all over her face and into her hair. She pushed some into her cleavage and down the back of her shorts, filling the crevices therein slightly with tuna fish. She continued to sing and mock the slim singer as she covered her in tuna fish. Taylor grimaced. She stuck her tongue out, looking disgusting. She mouthed words to the effect that it smelled disgusting. Katy laughed to herself, all too happy to bestow the mess upon her former friend. All Taylor could think about was how embarrassing the whole thing was and how much she disliked Katy at this point. The feeling of embarrassment was all encompassing at this point.

Next, Katy was going to treat Taylor to some coleslaw. She began to sing again. “Taylor’s gonna get cole, cole, slaw, slaw, slaw. Going to pour it on her head, head, head, head , head.” Katy was not holding back. She took a massive container of expired coleslaw, she quickly turned it over and thrust it downwards as hard as she could down onto Taylor’s head. She pushed it down so hard that it distorted the shape of the container. She pushed it down onto her head, so half of her head was in the actual container. Sloppy white coleslaw covered the top three quarters of Taylor’s head and dumped down her neck and shoulders before the residual bits plummeted all over her body. The vision of Taylor Swift’s famous face ensconced in rancid coleslaw was one that would live in the memory of many for years to come. It was a hilarious sight. In fact, it was an image that Katy would immortalize by putting twenty foot high copies of it on stage behind her as part of her stage set. “I might just have a new cover image for my next number one single”, she teased. Social media was going to love it as well.

Katy could not resist the opportunity to take as many selfies as she could at this particular moment. She then finished her rival off with a large container of potato salad. This time she placed it in front of Taylor and thrust it upwards into her face. She pushed it in as hard as she could and then pulled it upwards, making sure that the majority of it stuck to Taylor’s face and hair, all the way to the top of her head. She then tossed the container down onto Taylor. She made an L sign with her hand and then sauntered off leaving a messy and defeated Taylor Swift behind. She was totally speechless.

Needless to say, the events of this fateful night did nothing to ease the tensions between the two women. The rivalry only got more heated. Katy definitely had something to use over Taylor from this point onwards.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for carrying out my request!

    ReplyDelete