Lucy Beale (Melissa Suffield)

Just a word. I am a huge fan of Melissa Suffield and Lucy Beale. What happened to her at Eastenders was disgusting. She was treated ridiculously bad by them, in my opinion. She deserved better. I miss her on Eastenders and wish she was still there. They were crazy to get rid of her and how they did it was not fair, in my opinion. She is over 18 in case anyone is wondering, as well.
Lucy Beale (Melissa Suffield)




Lucy Beale had spent her time on Albert Square causing trouble and pissing people off. She had always gotten a kick out of causing trouble for everyone around her, including her family. Everyone had finally had enough of her antics and decided that it was finally time to give her a taste of her own medicine. The whole square lead by her father and her stepmother, along with her twin brother Peter decided that they would set Lucy up. Lucy would be facing public humiliation on a grand scale. Everyone wanted to see Lucy get embarrassed. She richly deserved it for all of the things that she had done. This time she was going to really get it. She loved to play nasty tricks on people, but this time the joke was going to be on her.

The plan was that Lucy was going to be coming to the café that afternoon, as she usually did, most afternoons. When she arrived, everyone would act normal. Someone would then lock the door and then the mess would commence. Pouring disgusting slop over Lucy Beale was a fantasy that more than one resident of Albert Square had thought of over the years. There was going to be no escape for Lucy from her fate. No one was going to feel sorry for her in the slightest. Lucy would be eating humble pie on this day.

Lucy walked down the street, into the café. She was wearing a short black pleaded skirt and a light pink button down shirt with tie. The skirt was hiked up high. It looked like it was two sizes two small for her. She looked like she was about to bust out of it. She was, intentionally showing a lot of leg. Her shirt was also as tight as it could be. The first few buttons were unbuttoned, leaving part of her bust line exposed. It was debateable whether she was wearing anything underneath her outer clothing. She walked down the sidewalk, jiggling her curves and flaunting her sexuality. She had her cheeky Lucy Beale smile on her face. She knew that every man that she passed was looking in her direction.



She walked into the café, meeting her brother at one of the tables.” How do I look,” she asked, raising her eyebrows and smiling excitedly. “Like a tart,” he replied. “Perfect then, just the look that I was going for,” she said dismissively. She sat down and seductively crossed her legs. “If you got it, flaunt it,” she said winking her eyes. “These other girls wish that they had an ass like this. I can’t help it. They know I look hot.” Peter just rolled his eyes. He was used to his sister by now. Although she was very attractive, the men were just not very interested in her. The ones who were, were interested for all the wrong reasons. Peter chuckled to himself. Lucy was about to get put in her place.

Lucy now was busy reading a text on her phone and bragging. She was so wrapped up in herself, she did not notice that the door was locked and everyone had started staring at her and some had stood up around her. “Ahh Peter,” she said, looking down, texting on her phone,” You are just a little jealous, because I can get some any time I want and you are single.” “Whatever you say, Lucy,” he responded. By this time, Lucy’s other family members were all gathered around, standing around the table, with their arms crossed, looking stern. Finally, Lucy looked up from her phone. She saw everyone gathered around her table, staring at her with cross faces. “Hi everyone,” she said,” What’s going on? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Well, Lucy,” her stepmother Jane said,” You have been a pain in all of our asses for years now. You have caused all sorts of trouble for all sorts of people. Now, we have decided to get some revenge. It is payback time now. You deserve to be embarrassed for once.” “Embarrassed? What do you mean by that,” Lucy asked incredulously. She began to get a bit nervous about what was happening here, but she was trying her best not to let that show. “Oh you will see,” her father, Ian told her. Lucy now looked pissed off. “What is that supposed to mean,” she said sarcastically,” Why don’t you just tell me,” she said. “Oh we will do better than that, we will show you,” Ian replied.



Ian and Lucy’s uncle Christian walked out back. Lucy moved her head around to see what they were doing. After what seemed like ages, they returned, dragging something along with them. When Lucy saw what it was she did not really know what the object was or what it was used for. It was a sort of catapult, the type that they use on Stwnsh ar y ffordd on the teachers. Lucy pointed at it. “What the hell is that thing?,” she exclaimed. “This my dear is what we are calling the food catapult. We will be using it to launch plates of leftover food onto you.” “What are you talking about. You must be joking. You are not doing that to me,” she said, “Do you expect me to just sit there and take it. No way. I am leaving.” “Oh you will sit there and take it. You have very little choice. Boys the straps.” Lucy shook and tried to stand up. Her uncle Christian and his partner Syed grabbed her arms and placed her wrists in some straps. They pulled the straps around the back of the chair and strapped her to the chair. She struggled the whole time, but they were too strong for her. Already her hair was messed up and she was sweating. She kicked her legs and tried wiggling her body. “You won’t get away with this,” she shouted,” I will get you all back for this.” She calmed down. She shook her head and gave her famous Lucy Beale look. “You are all going to pay for this,” she said in her calmest, angriest voice. “No, Lucy, today it is your turn to pay for all of the things that you have done,” Jane said,” Sorry love, but you deserve this.” “Oh please,” Lucy begged, now pretending to be sweet and innocent,” I didn’t mean to do those things. It wasn’t my fault.” “Tough luck Lucy, we all are dying to do this. We have wanted to do this for a long time,” Christian said, laughing. Lucy scowled.

“Ok, everyone,” Ian said, happily,” We have loads of leftovers here, so everyone is going to get the chance to launch them at Lucy.” Everyone cheered. He then started up a chant. They all started chanting “Launch at Lucy.“ She glared at them. Lucy continued to struggle. It hadn’t even dawned don her what was going to be coming her way. When she saw the first tin of food being brought out and placed on the catapult her eyes widened. “Oh my god, really? Seriously?” She whimpered, begged and whined. “I would like everyone to note that all of the food that we are using today comes directly from the café and from the chip shop. The food has all gone off or has been discarded. Nothing will go to waste today,” Ian announced. “Ok everyone, here we go,” he said.

The first tin was brought out. It was filled with tartar sauce from the fish and chip shop. Ian showed the tin to the crowd and then placed it on the catapult across from Lucy. “Allow me to demonstrate,” he said. Everyone chanted. He positioned the tin perfectly. He then went around the side and placed his hand above the release for the catapult. Lucy closed her eyes and tried to guard her body the best she could, but she was a wide open target. Ian pushed down on the release mechanism. The tin of tartar sauce flew threw the air at a pretty good pace and smashed into Lucy’s face, covering it in tartar sauce. The tin then flew down her body leaving a trail of tartar sauce down her as it went. It fell from her face to her legs where more tartar sauce was left behind. The cheers and laughter that echoed through the café upon the moment of impact was deafening. It was like one giant release of energy all at once. Lucy was splattered in the white tartar sauce. It was filled with tiny green bits as well. It dripped down her face. Her eyes widened and her mouth still remained wide open from the shock of the impact of the tartar sauce. It felt slippery and slimy splattered all over her body. The tartar sauce had splattered her skirt and legs as well as it had fallen. She began to wish that she had worn more clothes today. Her shirt was very thin and she had chosen to forgo wearing underwear today. Everyone knew that there was so much more to come, but everyone was so overjoyed at the first bit of mess on Lucy that they all stopped and took in the moment. Everyone took a turn getting a picture taken with her in that state. Lucy could not help but laugh to herself. She kind of liked how the tartar sauce felt on her body, but of course she would not admit that to anyone.

Ian then loaded the second tin of food to be launched at his daughter onto the catapult. It was Jane’s turn and this time the tin was filled with beef stew. It was thick and brown and filled with meat and vegetables. It was almost green in spaces. It stunk so bad that Lucy could smell it from where she was. “Yuck, that smells mingin’,” she exclaimed. Everyone started to chant again, as Jane got into position. She smiled a huge grin and waived to Lucy. She steadied her hand on the other end of the catapult. She looked at Lucy and then slammed her hand down. The tin went flying through the air. It landed on Lucy’s neck, splattering the thick stew everywhere in all directions. It covered her shirt in the thick brown mess. Her face and legs were also splattered. She screamed when it hit her. She turned her nose up and gave a disgusted look, as if she just smelled something that was incredibly disgusting, which really, she had. The stew ran down her body. The beef and vegetables within the stew stuck all over her Lucy’s body. She could feel some of the heavy chunks falling and collecting in the space between her legs. She moved her legs in and out to try to dislodge some of the mess, but it just sort of smushed under her body.



Next it was her brother, Peter’s turn to have a go. The next tin was filled with baked beans. He pointed and waived at his twin sister as she squirmed in her seat. The thought of flinging baked beans at his twin sister made Peter feel very happy. “Please, Peter,” Lucy begged,” You wouldn’t do this to me would you? Remember that you have to live with me,” she threatened. “Don’t remind me,” he kidded. He waived his hands in the air and urged everyone to start chanting again. Peter took the tin of baked beans and carefully placed it in position on the catapult. Peter was going to enjoy this immensely. He looked at his sister. She begged him not to do this. He looked at her then at everyone else. He gave a plaintive look, shook his head, as if he was contemplating what he was going to do, but he was just teasing. He laughed and then slammed his hands down onto the catapult. This sent the tin of baked beans through the air towards his sister. The tin tumbled through the air. Everyone exploded with a cheer on the moment of impact. The beans landed directly on Lucy’s bare legs with a thud. The beans hit her on her legs and splattered everywhere. In a moment, Lucy’s sexy legs were dripping in the disgusting baked beans. Lucy screwed up her face in disgust, as if she was going to scream or cry. Peter gave a thumbs up and high fived some of his mates. “That was brilliant,” he said. Lucy was left dripping with beans. Each individual bean could almost be seen slowly falling down Lucy’s calves. Her thighs were soaked in the beans. She now uncrossed her legs and moved them about as the beans fell down them, collecting at her feet.

Next it was Uncle Christian’s turn to have a go. He played up to everyone, teasing Lucy. He loved his niece, but he still was going to enjoy this. Christian was a very fun loving person and was really enjoying what was happening. Christian loaded a tin of coleslaw onto the catapult. The coleslaw was way past its sell by date and completely rancid. Christian took his hand and waived it in front of his nose, indicating how bad the coleslaw smelled. Christian was very strong so he was going to use the catapult with great gusto. “It’s about to get filthy,” he said in a funny voice. Everyone cheered and applauded. He ensured that the tin was in the correct place. He gave a thumbs up. He aimed and then pushed the catapult down. The tin flew through the air and in a split second, hit Lucy with full forth straight in the face. Lucy cringed as the tin fell away, the rancid coleslaw fell from her face. Her face was plastered in the white slop. She opened one eye, because she could not wipe her eyes. Excess coleslaw splattered all over the place. Lucy gave a sickened look. She was helpless to try to remove any of the coleslaw from her face. Coleslaw fell down her neck and shirt. She was now completely trashed. The combination of all the mess was all over her body.



It was now Syed’s turn to have a go. The next tin was filled with spaghetti. Taking this kind of embarrassing messing from all of the people in her life was not something that Lucy was enjoying. She could not believe that now Syed was going to get the chance to do this to her. She knew that all she could do was try to get through this. Syed placed the tray of spaghetti onto the catapult. He looked at Christian and smiled. Lucy had been a thorn in his side as well. It was now spaghetti time for Lucy Beale. Syed placed his palm on the catapult. He raised it and then pushed it down. The tin of spaghetti was launched through the air at Lucy. The tin hit her with full force, splattering spaghetti all over Lucy. The tin tumbled down her body and left loads more spaghetti all over her legs. The disgusting strands of the spaghetti in its sauce fell from Lucy’s hair and face. It slithered down her shirt, staining it beyond recognition. Spaghetti splattered all over her pleaded skirt. She lifted her legs as chunks of the spaghetti stuck to her knee and calves. She closed her eyes. She wanted to remove some of the mess from herself, but she had no chance to do this.



Lucy’s best friend Lauren Branning now got her chance. “Hey, Lucy,” she said,” It happened to me. Now it is your turn. I know you love it as much as I did.” “Shut up,” Lucy replied. “I got some jellied eels for you here, Lucy,” Lauren teased. “Jellied Eels?! No way, Lauren, you can’t do this. That is gross.” “MMM, yummy, all for you Lucy.” Lauren loaded the disgusting jellied eels onto the catapult. Lucy could not believe that this was really going to happen. Everyone was now chanting “Eels, eels, eels.” Lauren gave a cheeky smile and waived at Lucy. She pushed down on the catapult. The jellied eels went flying at Lucy. They fell on over her. Some fell onto her lap. Some fell onto her head. The slimy jelly was all over her. The huge chunks of disgusting eel was flung everywhere. When the tray flew threw the air, the eels exploded in all directions all over Lucy. A gigantic bit of the eel hung onto Lucy’s head, draped over her forehead.

Next to come was one of Lucy’s rivals Zsa Zsa. “Not her!,” Lucy shouted. “Oh yes,” Zsa Zsa said. “I am going to love this. Zsa Zsa walked sexily over to her tin and brought it over. It was loaded with mushy peas. The tin was brimming with soft, puke green mushy peas. Lucy tried to brace herself for the coming impact of the mushy peas. Zsa Zsa asked the crowd to count down with her. Everyone started counting down,” Three…two….one!” Zsa Zsa pushed down the catapult. The mushy peas flew through the air and nailed Lucy. The thick green mess smashed onto her. The green slop covered Lucy’s face and fell down onto her body. The tin fell and landed onto Lucy’s thighs. Her sexy legs dripped with green. Everyone applauded.



That was the last tin that was prepared. Zsa Zsa took one of the tins from the floor and scraped some of the excess slop that had collected on the floor into the tin. This created a dark brown conglomeration of all of the mess. The tin was now full of the leftovers. Zsa Zsa walked up to Lucy. She taunted her. “Humble pie, Lucy,” she said. She stood over Lucy. “You bitch, you wouldn’t dare,” Lucy snapped. “Bon apatite,” Zsa Zsa said. She pushed the tin into Lucy’s face, twisting it around. Everyone cheered.

Finally, Ian, Syed, Peter and Christian grabbed Lucy in her chair and lifted her up. They carried her out back. In the back of the café was a dumpster where all of the garbage and food waste from the café was usually thrown. They untied Lucy and carried her over to the dumpster. They lifted her up together and placed her in the dumpster. She fell over into the garbage. She disappeared for a minute under the garbage. Then her head emerged from the top of the dumpster. Her nostrils flared as she glared out of the dumpster at all of the people in her life. A banana peel stuck to her head. “Sorry Lucy,” everyone said in unison.