Worst Elves

 

Worst Elves

Christmas time was fast approaching. Everyone was in the holiday mood. All across the land in shops and workshops alike, elves were busy making and selling toys for Christmas. The toy sales and production were way down on this particular year. As a result, the store owners and Santa Claus himself began to look for ways to motivate the elves to make and to sell more toys. All of them got together and came up with a way to attempt to motivate the elves. They decided to create a competition of sorts. All across the land it was declared that the elves would sold or made the fewest amount of toys would be sent to a Christmas gunge tank and get trashed on Christmas Eve. This certainly achieved the desired results, everyone kicked it into high gear. Some of the owners were really excited as well at the opportunity to trash some of their more lazy and unmotivated staff members.

In the end, there were four elves who came out on the bottom. For the UK it was Kate (Emilia Clarke) from Last Christmas. She worked at a Christmas shop in Covent Garden in London. She was notoriously disinterested and bad at her job. Her boss was actually very pleased that she was going to be the one receiving the mess, She liked her a lot, but she was really slacking off and letting herself down. She hoped that this would teach her a lesson.

Representing America was Jovie (Zooey Deschanel) from Elf. She worked at a huge department store in New York City. She was a very good employee, but Buddy the elf had come into her store, and comically messed things up. This caused sales to plummet. Also, she was caught taking a shower at work, which was really not on.

Finally, representing the North Pole, there were two elves. These two were always squabbling with one another and causing trouble for each other so it was determined that they both deserved this. They were Billie (AnnaLynne McCord) and Eleanor (Paige) from Santa’s Little Helper. They each believe the other deserved it more than they did. Santa told them that they both had to go and go together so they could learn about being a team and working together.

There was a massive conference call that everyone was a party to when they announced who was going to be the unlucky ones ending up getting messed. Of course, everyone was hoping that it would not be them ending up getting messed on Christmas Eve. Santa himself was going to announce who the losers were. It was going to be a reward for the bosses as well. They were going to get to humiliate their worst employees because of their poor performance.

“This is the moment we have all been waiting for. All of our elves have done a fantastic job this year preparing for Christmas. We appreciate all of your hard work and dedication. However, there are four of our elves who have done the worst jobs of anyone. They are going to be punished for this. I know everyone is anxious to find out who it will be,” Santa said.

Kate and her boss along with the other employees were gathered around watching.  Kate giggled,” It’s going to be me. I just know it.” “I sure hope so,” her boss said,” You really are a terrible employee,” she teased. Jovie stood with Buddy and the other staff at the store watching. She bit her lip. She was very nervous. She thought to herself that it could not possibly be her. There were tons of stores in America and tons of elves. Billie and Eleanor watched the proceedings live. They sparred back and forth about how they hoped that it would be the other one because they would love the chance to dump mess all over the other.

“Ok, here we are. Let’s see who is on the naughty list,” Santa said. “Firstly, from the UK. This elf works at a little shop in London. In Convent Garden.” Everyone turned to Kate. She blushed and gritted her teeth. “Her name is Kate.” The whole shop and her boss erupted in applause and laughter. Kate blushed and laughed. She shook her head. “Nooo,” she said jokingly before shrugging her shoulders. Santa then rang his small magic bell. Kate, her boss and the other staff were all transported to the North Pole.

“Next, representing America and New York City, the big apple.” Jovie crossed her fingers and closed her eyes. “From one of the largest department stores, we have Jovie.” Jovie’s face dropped. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Buddy jumped up and down. “You won. You won,” he exclaimed. Jovie shook her head. “Not quite Buddy.” Santa rang the magic bell again and they were transported to the North Pole as well.

“Finally, representing us here at the North Pole. We actually have two elves this year who deserve the punishment. These two are always bickering and fighting with each other. It will be Eleanor and Billie. “The two looked at each other in disgust. They pointed the finger at one another saying that this was all the other’s fault. “This is what I mean. You two get up here now. You may then learn to get along better.” The two had to walk up on stage. Kate and Jovie already stood there on either side of Santa.

“So, these four have been very naughty this year. They really deserve this don’t you think?,” Santa exclaimed. Everyone gave a cheer. A large golden gunge tank was revealed. It was decorated with tinsel, lights and bobbles. Some of Santa’s larger elves lead the four ladies into the tank. They all squeezed in side by side. Kate was giggling and blushing. Jovie looked mortified. The other two continued bickering. They looked out at the work shop floor. It was filled with their colleagues.

Everyone was then handed various items. As this was happening, their bosses were all handed Christmas themed pies. The whipped cream was red and green. They walked up to the tank and were allowed to smush the pies into the ladies faces. The bosses laughed in delight, relishing the opportunity to cream their employees. Kate’s boss, took particular delight in doing this to her.

It was now time for the Christmas gunging. Everyone counted down as the four women huddled together. “Three…two..one.” The lever was pulled, just like in a tree lighting ceremony. Sparkly silver, green and burgundy gunge fell all over the four of them. It poured all over their elf costumes and all over their faces and hair. It was everywhere, splashing all over their bodies. They laughed and played a bit in it. They were soaked in the gunge.

When the gunge ceased it was announced that this was not the end of the action. It was time for Christmas dinner. The ladies were in for the largest Christmas dinner of all time. Their colleagues smiled as they approached. They began to through items from Christmas dinner at the women in the tank. Bits of turkey, mashed potatoes, swede and carrots, mashed sweet potatoes, pigs in blankets, stuffing, Brussel sprouts, parsnips, broccoli and cheese and even some Yorkshire puddings were hurled at them. Gravy dumped down over them from above as well. The barrage seemed to last for ages. Soon they covered from head to toe in sloppy Christmas dinner.

Their colleagues then tossed mince pies at them and tossed warm custard to go with it. Their bosses then finished proceeding by smushing Christmas puddings into their faces and plopping them on top of their heads.