Jessica Chastain vs. Jennifer Garner

 

Jessica Chastain vs. Jennifer Garner

By Request

Jessica Chastain and Jennifer Garner were rival actresses. Jennifer really didn’t think too much about Jessica, but Jessica found Jennifer extremely annoying and condescending. She disliked her immensely. She felt that Jennifer was quite false and two faced. She acted very sweetly to people’s faces, but would secretly speak hatefully towards them when their backs were turned. Jennifer was vaguely aware of this, but found it quite funny. She would say that other actresses were either paranoid or jealous when they would say such things about her.

Jessica wanted a way to put Jennifer in her place. There was a game on a talk show that both had appeared on many times that would sometimes involve mess. The two were both quite close friends with the hostess of the show. Jessica contacted her and explained that she wanted to set up a competition for her and Jennifer. She wanted to get back at her for all of the things she had said and done. The hostess said that she would be happy to facilitate the game if Jennifer would agree, but that she could not fix the outcome either way. Jessica agreed that this was ok, confident that she would win anyway. She felt that she was much more intelligent than Jennifer. She regarded Jennifer as something of an airhead. Jennifer agreed to take part. She felt that it sounded like fun.

Jessica was very excited. She had dreamt of getting her own back on Jennifer for a long time. She fantasised about what it would be like to cover her smug, prissy face with toms of revolting mess. She really, really wanted to put Jennifer in her place. Jennifer, on the other hand, was not the witch that Jessica thought that she was. She just had a lot of good fortune. Things seemed to always go her way and that really annoyed other people, but it was not really her fault. She was a genuinely nice person, but people always thought that she was not genuine, because those sort of people were so rare in Hollywood. People never trusted people who were too nice. They always were convinced that they were up to something underhanded. Really, that was just a reflection of themselves.

Both women appeared on the show and were ready to compete. They were both welcomed by the hostess. They both smiled and shook her hand. The hostess then explained that the two ladies had agreed to compete in a little game where there would be some messy consequences for the person who lost. Jessica gave an evil smile. Jennifer squinted, making a nervous face. They were then asked how they both felt about the situation. Jessica replied,” I just cannot wait to win. I can’t tell you. I am looking forward to it so much,” she said smiling evilly and glaring at Jennifer. Jennifer’s answer was,” I am very nervous about this. I really hope I don’t end up losing.” Based on their answers, Jennifer looked much more sympathetic to the viewers. Jessica, of course, was sure that Jennifer was presenting herself that way on purpose.

The game was then explained. It was quite simple. There would be a category and each lady would bid on how many items she could name in that category. The person who bid the highest would get a chance to name them. If they did so they would win, if they failed, they would lose. The hostess then stated,” Now for the fun part. The person that wins is going to get the privilege of dumping mountains of sloppy leftover food all over the loser. I know that the ladies are both excited for and dreading that part of the game.” They both looked at one another. Jennifer winced. Jessica smirked.

The category was to be 1950’s films. As Hollywood stars, this should have been an easy category, but it wasn’t. People of their age tended not to watch anything earlier than the eighties. It was time for the bidding to begin. Jennifer got to go first. She said that she could name two films, starting out very low. Jessica, scoffed, “I can name six,” she said. Jennifer shook her head and thought about it. The hostess asked her,” Jennifer, what’s it going to be?” Jessica had bid much higher to get Jennifer to bid high. Jennifer thought it over. The audience encouraged her to raise the bid. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of movies made each decade. Six should have been easy. “Umm,” she paused,” I’ll say nine.” The crowd oohed and awed. It was now Jessica’s turn. Jessica looked at Jennifer and said,” I don’t think that you can. Name them!,” she challenged.

“Ok, Jennifer, that is the challenge now. You have to name nine movies from the fifties. If you can do it, Jessica will lose, if you fail, you will lose. We all know what hangs in the balance. Jennifer looked quite nervous. Jessica seemed supremely confident that her opponent would not be able to name that many. She was sure that she would fail.

Jennifer started out, very slowly, she started to name some obvious films that were huge hits. She then named a few Hitchcock films. She was up to five. She named a Biblical epic and then two Marilyn Monroe films. Jessica was beginning to look worried. She looked shocked that Jennifer was doing so well. She figured that she may at least get some of the dates wrong. The final films Jennifer named were Japanese samurai films and an Italian neo-realistic film. Jessica was in shock. She could not believe this. “There is no way that she knew those on her own. She must have cheated somehow. Someone must have helped her. How could she know all of those films?” Of course, as unlikely as it seemed, there was no proof of cheating, so Jessica was beaten. The hostess shook Jennifer’s hand as she jumped up and down. “I’m so relieved,” she said.

Jessica was fuming, but she had lost, seemingly fair and square. Now it would be Jennifer administering the mess to her and not the other way around. The thought of that smug little witch and her self-important arrogant face humiliating her with sloppy mess in front of the world was infuriating for her. Jennifer giggled and laughed. The hostess joked as the mess was brought out for Jessica. “Oh my God,” Jennifer said, covering her mouth with her hand,” I’m so sorry.” Jessica glared at her. In her mind, Jennifer was being completely sarcastic.

Jessica could only look up as Jennifer approached from behind and stood looking down at her from behind. She was fuming. Jennifer was then given two large bottles of ketchup. The hostess gave her the ok and she began to squeeze, them with each hand, aiming the ketchup all over Jennifer’s head. The streams of red sauce crisscrossed over her face and down her shoulders as well as all over her red hair. Ketchup dripped from her nose and chin. More fell down around her chest. Jennifer then sprayed Jessica’s entire body in the ketchup, spraying it all over her Capri pants, down her legs, leaving her clothes slathered in lines of ketchup.

She followed up by adding mustard. Two containers of yellow mustard were handed to her. She smiled as she turned them over and began to squeeze them out all over Jessica. Thick lines of mustard crossed her head and her hair. Blobs of it fell from her cheeks and her nose. More was dispersed over her top and down her back. She held her hands out as the mustard fell all over her.

Jessica then took a catering size container of salsa and began to dump it over Jessica’s head, down the back of her neck and down the back of her shirt. Jessica could feel the sloppy, cold chunks, oozing all over her body and clothing. Jennifer laughed as she let the salsa drop inside of Jessica’s clothes.

She then was given some cans of mushy peas. “Oooh, the green really goes with her red hair,” Jennifer joked. Jessica was dying of embarrassment inside at this egotistical woman having a great laugh at her expense in front of the whole world. Of course, she had arranged the whole thing to make Jennifer look foolish, so, in a way, it sort of served her right. Jennifer dumped each can of the mushy peas onto Jessica’s head. Jessica recoiled at the smell and the feel of the starchy green crud that Jennifer was dispatching of all over her. She stuck her tongue out as the mushy peas dropped all over her, sticking to her hair, face and clothing.

Finally, Jennifer was presented with a massive contained filled with what was described as lasagne. It was the making of lasagne all mixed together in a container. Cheese, red sauce, white sauce, mince and noodles all mixed together for a gloppy mess. Jennifer laughed as the audience cheered her on. “Sorry, hun,” she told Jessica. Jessica braced herself as Jennifer raised the lasagne pail in the air. The crowd cheered as the sloppy mess began to fall all over Jessica. The mess was very thick, so it was slow moving. This gave everyone a great view of the messing as it was happening. It was almost in slow motion. The lasagne mess dumped over Jessica’s head and face, covering her in the mess Bits fell out all over her body as well as onto the floor beneath her. She was soaked in sauce and cheese. She had bits of mince and noodle stuck to her face and hair.

Jennifer shook the hostess’ hand. Jessica was just left to sit in the revolting sloppy mess that she was now completely covered in. Jennifer tried to apologise later and to say how bad she had felt, but Jessica was angrier with her than ever.