Alesha Dixon vs. Jessie J. BGT vs. The Voice
There was a ratings war going on between Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice for viewers on Saturday nights. The two shows went back and forth in the ratings battle for weeks and things began to get a bit heated between the two shows. Each show had a feisty, young attractive woman on their judging panel. Britain’s Got Talent had Alesha Dixon and the Voice had Jessie J. The two were both fiery and outspoken. The press, being what it is, was making the battle between the shows the number one topic for discussion. They were not above fanning the flames when the opportunity arose as well. It was hard for Alesha and Jessie to avoid being asked questions about the other show. Inevitably, one of them made a meaningless comment while the press were around and, of course, the quote was taken completely out of context and blown totally out of proportion. It was not long before the two were involved in a war of words. No one could even remember how the whole thing started, in the end. It was becoming more and more heated though as the days passed.
The makers of Let Her Have It witnessed what was going on between the two and seized the opportunity. The producers approached the makers of each show, suggesting that Alesha and Jessie appear on Let her Have It. The show would air on a Saturday evening after Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice had ended. The idea was to see which show got the better ratings. The judge from the show that got the higher rating would then get the chance to gunge the other judge. It would be a humiliating loss for the judge and for the show that garnered the lower ratings. Each lady agreed to take part in the end, because they both were confident that their show would win. They also were very eager humiliate the other on national television. The two did not hate each other or anything,. They had never even really met before. However, they both had massive egos and attitude to spare.
That week, both Alesha and Jessie cut promos for the show. One thing was for sure, someone was going to be getting embarrassed big style in front of the whole world. This was going to be as embarrassing as it could get. The winner was not going to take any mercy on the loser either. On top of that, all of the other judges would be there watching. They were representing their whole show, not just themselves. What was worse, was that it was all completely out of their own hands. It would be the viewers who would be determining the outcome. Although Jessie and Alesha were a part of the reason why people watched their shows, they were not even the main reason. The promos aired during the week leading up to the big Saturday. The promos were simple. They were shot from the neck up. In the promos, each judge put their case forward for why people should watch their show and why they should avoid the mess.
Alesha’s promo went like this. “Hi, I’m Alesha Dixon. I’m one of the judges on Britain’s Got Talent. We have a great show lined up for you this week, guys. Please tune in. I will be appearing on Let Her Have It on Saturday. If you don’t watch the show, I will end up getting gunged. So please save me. Let’s get Jessie J gunged instead. It will be so much better. She is very mouthy. She really deserves it a lot more than I do. So, please watch Britain’s Got Talent. Save me please.” Jessie’s promo, on the other hand went like this. “Hi guys. I’m Jessie J from the Voice. I am here to ask you to tune in to the Voice this weekend. The more of you who watch the better. And your reward, getting to see me gunge Alesha Dixon. You guys no you want to see me gunge that little cow. I am going to love it. Alesha Dixon covered in mess. I want to see it and I know all of you watching at home want to see it. I promise to make it extra messy for her. So go on, watch the Voice this Saturday.” Jessie smiled and gave a thumbs up.
It was a nerve racking week for the two women. Britain’s Got Talent seemed as though it was the more popular show, but the Voice was brand new. People might tune in at first just to see what it was all about. The initial ratings might be much higher than on a normal week. The stakes were very high this time for these two. All week Alesha got teased about the possibility of getting messed up. It began to really get on her nerves after awhile. When Jessie was asked about it, she seemed as cool as a cucumber. “I am going to win. Don’t worry about that. It won’t be me getting messy. Alesha Dixon is in for a very sloppy evening.” Privately, Jessie did not mind that much if she lost. It she was on the losing end, she would still play things cool and act as if she did not mind at all. She would act like getting gunged was no big deal.
Finally, both shows aired and the viewing figures were quickly collated. Alesha and Jessie would not find out what the results were until the moment of truth on the show. The ladies both prepared themselves back stage. Jessie wore a pair of tight black hotpants, a pair of black boots and a black and white shirt with print on it and shiny, leather and glittery bits on the sides. Alesha wore her hair back in a ponytail and low cut, very short yellow dress. She was always fond of showing a lot of leg for some reason. She was now becoming a bit nervous. She was imagining how embarrassing this would be if her show did not get the higher viewing figures. She felt that her show was better and would get the most viewers, but nothing was assured. There was a chance, no matter how small, that she would be on the losing end. She made herself think positively though. She imagined what it would be like to gunge Jessie J and to shut her mouth once and for all.
The show started, as usual, with Mr. G. entering the studio. The studio was decorated half in the style of Britain’s Got Talent and half in the style of the voice. It looked as though half of the stage was directly from each show. In the centre there were two chairs. They were the judges’ chairs from Britain’s Got Talent and from the Voice. The interest in this episode was keen, because it was so topical. The two shows had just aired an hour previously and now there was going to be consequences as a result. All of the other judges from both shows were sat in the front rows of the audience on either side of the seating in order to witness what was about to happen. Mr. G. began to speak,” Thank you everyone and welcome to Let Her Have It. As you may or may not know, today is a very special day. There has been a ratings battle going on on Saturday nights between Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice. There has been a verbal battle as well between the judges. Well, that is all going to be settles once and for all tonight, in our forum. The two shows aired earlier tonight. The ratings are now in. On our show tonight we have a judge representing each show with us. They have agreed that whoever’s show got the lowest rating is going to be getting messy, right here tonight. It is going to be an embarrassing evening for someone tonight. So, can we please welcome, from the Voice, Jessie J and from Britain’s Got Talent, Alesha Dixon.”
The two entered from opposite sides of the stage as a music from both of their shows was played. Jessie walked in, dancing as she walked, pushing her hands to the sky and raising the roof. Alesha smiled and waived. She pointed at someone and laughed. They both entered the studio, shook Mr. G,’s hand and sat in their respective judging chairs side by side. They each crossed their legs as they sat down. They reached over and shook each other’s hand. They wished each other good luck. “So ladies, you two are very brave. Your fate is completely out of your own hands. All you can do now is pray that more people tuned in to your show earlier tonight What’s going through your mind right now, at a time like this?,” he asked. “How much fun it is going to be to totally slop her up,” Jessie said confidently,” I can’t wait.” “What about you Alesha?” “Well, like you said, I am just hoping and praying that we got the figures. I really do not want to be on the losing end tonight, for obvious reasons,” she said with a laugh. “Well one thing is for sure. It is going to get very, very messy. These two are dying to take home the bragging rights for their shows and to totally mess the other one. Frankly, I hope it was a tie,” he joked.
“Well, I think that we should get on and read our results. The tension in the studio tonight is palpable. Someone is about to get very, very messy, but who will it be?” “Yah, bring it on. Let’s get messy,” Jessie shouted. “Oh God,” Alesha said, “Maybe we should postpone this. With the economic crisis and all, I think wasting food like this is irresponsible,” she joked. “For the record all the food we use here, is no longer edible. It would just be thrown out anyway, if we didn’t use it, so there are no excuses.” “Damn,” she said. She motioned with her hands,” It was worth a try.” She gave out her famous high pitched laugh. “Well, I think we should get to our results. We have all been waiting for this moment. I think it is time to press record on your home video equipment. This is going to be a Kodak moment.” The lights were lowered and a hush came over the studio. Alesha lowered her head, closed her eyes and crossed her fingers. Jessie scrunched up her nose and gave a slightly pained look of anticipation. “Ok then, here we go. I can now reveal that Britain’s Got Talent got 7.6 million viewers. On the other hand the Voice had….” Alesha and Jessie stomped their feet in anticipation and Mr. G. paused in order to build the tension more and more. “9.6 million viewers.” Alesha’s mouth fell open in a sort of combination laugh and scream. Her eyes widened and she put her hands over her mouth in shock. Jessie, meanwhile, was moving her hands around in celebratory dance. She pointed and laughed at Alesha, leaning over. “Ha ha, in your face,” she said. “Yeah,” Alesha said,” Quite literally from the sound of it. She laughed hysterically with her famous, uncontrollable cackle of a laugh. “Gonna pour it all over you,” Jessie said in a joking voice. Alesha cracked up with laughter. “Oh god, this is terrible. How embarrassing ,” she said. “So Alesha, you’re show did not win did it?,” Mr. G. said. “No, it did not,” she replied. “You know what that means. For you?,” he said, putting his arm on the top of her chair. “Yes, I know what that means. I can’t believe this. How could we lose. I suppose I have to pay the consequences now do I?,” she said. “You’re gonna get dirty,” Jessie chimed in. Alesha just looked at her and shook her head.
“Ok Jessie, can I ask you to come with me,” Mr. G. said,” Alesha, can you please stay where you are. We will be getting back to you in just a moment.” Jessie stood up and followed him over to the side of the set, dancing along the whole way as she walked. Of course, the reason that Jessie was asked over was because the buckets and containers of mess were all over there that she would be using on Alesha. Jessie cackled evilly as she saw what she was about to pour over Alesha Dixon’s head. “This is going to be fun,” she said, smiling wickedly into the camera. Alesha arched her back to see what was going on. Alesha blushed, shook her head and screamed, “No,” at the top of her lungs. She then laughed. “You’d better be gentle,” Alesha joked, pointing her index finger at Jessie. Jessie teased back,” Oh don’t worry babe, I will be very gentle indeed,” she said in sexy, but cheeky voice. Jessie started singing, “I’m gonna gunge Alesha Dixon, I’m gonna gunge Alesha Dixon.” She danced around. Alesha shook her head and buried it in her hands. “Please,” she yelled.
Jessie J selected her first bucket and sauntered over to Alesha Dixon. “Time to get sloppy,” she said. She wiggled her eyebrows and laughed. “Oh no, Jessie, please don’t do this. I am sure we can come to some arrangement,” Alesha begged. The bucket that Jessie grabbed was full of oreo milkshake. It was filled with freezing could ice cream and milk mixed with mashed up oreo cookies. The shake was a greyish sort of colour and filled with chunky brown bits. Jessie approached Alesha with the bucket. She puckered her lips and made a fake sad face. Alesha pointed at her and laughed. “You are such a cow,” she said. Jessie took the bucket and walked behind Alesha. She placed her hand on her hip and posed with the bucket provocatively. She then lifted the bucket in the airy. The double thick shake began to pour out of the bucket, doubling over itself as it fell. When the first bit of the freezing cold milkshake hit Alesha on her face, the look on her face looked as if she had received an electric shock. Her eyes bugged out of her head and her mouth fell open. She almost jumped out of her seat. She screamed instinctively because of how cold the shake was against her skin. It poured onto the top of her head in waves of thick whitish grey mess dotted with brown spots. It slithered down over the front of Alesha’s face and down her nose. It fell in a circular pool on the top of her jet black hair before pouring down the sides of her hair. Her scream was soon replaced by Alesha’s thunderous laughter. She stomped her feet and screwed up her mouth. She placed her fingers to her nose and eyes, wiping some of the milkshake from them, as the mess continued to pour down on her. It began to plop down on her shoulders and down into her top and cleavage. She laughed and looked around as the milkshake still was being poured over her by Jessie J. It showed no signs of ceasing. The beautiful talent show host was now coated in thick, freezing cold mess. It was nearly as thick as oatmeal. She ran her hands over her messy arms. She shook her head in disbelief. Bits of oreo speckled her all over. Her dress was already nearly overwhelmed by the mess that covered it. A blob of thick ice cream dripped from Alesha’s nose. Another fell from her upper lip. “It is freezing, ugh,” she squealed. She was already covered in mess from head to toe and it was only bucket number one. Alesha’s face dripped with messy milkshake.
In the meantime, Jessie J danced over to the other messy buckets and selected one. The bucket contained an enormous amount of banana puree. Jessie picked it up and quipped, “This will have Alesha going bananas.” The puree was incredibly thick and contained tons of banana slices. As Jessie carried the bucket over to Alesha, she noticed that there were several huge banana chunks inside of it, floating on the top. She placed the bucket down and, with her hands pulled them out. They were about the size of a half of a banana each. She pulled them out and pushed them into Alesha’s face. When Alesha opened her mouth to laugh, Jessie pushed the bananas into her mouth. For a second the bananas hung from Alesha’s mouth before she gagged and spit them out. They fell down from her mouth and onto her body. As Alesha lurched forward, Jessie had already made her way around behind Alesha and had started to pour the banana puree down onto Alesha. Alesha raised her shoulders as the thick pudding poured down the back of her head. It oozed down the back of her neck and down her back. She caught her breath and closed her eyes as Jessie moved the bucket and poured the puree down onto her head. The puree was thick and yellow, very similar to custard, but with thick banana slices in it. The smell was lovely at least. The puree cupped over Alesha’s head. Yellow pudding mingling with her black hair. Jessie aimed most of it down onto her face though. A curtain of thick pudding poured down over Alesha’s face. Soon her whole head was covered in it. Alesha crossed her arms across herself as more poured down her lovely long neck and over her breasts. It splashed all over her dress. Her dress was now overwhelmed by mess. It clung to Alesha’s body and become almost see through. Alesha could now feel the mess getting everywhere as Jessie poured it over her. She could feel it down her back and over her chest. She could feel it plopping down on her thighs and could feel it seeping in between her legs. Puree made its way onto her knees. She could feel it dripping down her calves down to her ankles, feet and down to her high heels. It seemed to pour for ages. Eventually, the bucket was empty. Alesha was now covered in thick yellow mess. Banana slices stuck all over her body. She, again, took her long fingers and wiped some of the mess from her eyes and face. She joined Jessie and the rest of the audience in laughing at her situation. She arched her back and laughed uncontrollably. All of the judges from both shows were loving what they were seeing, of course. She gave a thumbs up and laughed. She wiggled her behind on her chair, trying to dislodge some of the mess that had collect on the chair beneath her backside. She was soaked in mess from head toe. At least she was keeping her sense of humour about the whole thing. She could not stop herself from laughing, even though she was embarrassed beyond belief.
Jessie walked over and pulled out the next bucket for Alesha. Unfortunately for Alesha, the contents of the bucket made the mess that already covered Alesha look positively pleasant. The bucket was filled with macaroni and cheese. It was incredibly disgusting funny curly shaped pasta in an even more disgusting white cheesy sauce. Jessie carried the bucket over to Alesha and said, in a put on French accent, “Macaroni and cheese” Alesha squealed in laughter her mouth falling open. “Macaroni and cheese?,” she uttered. She screwed up her face,” Seriously?” Jessie shook her head. “Oh yes,” she said. She went around behind Alesha and got ready to pour. Alesha shut her eyes. “Oh….my…..gooooooooooooood!” She squealed as macaroni and cheese was dumped from the bucket and landed on top of her head. Her mouth wide open as the macaroni dumped onto her head. The first bit landed on top of her head and stuck in place. It looked as though she had some sort of bizarre judge’s wig on her head. Macaroni and cheese dangled from the mass on top of her head. Macaroni dangled from her ears and earrings as well as from her nose. Cheese dripped down the sides of her face. More macaroni fell down all over her. Another large glob landed and took residence on the top of Alesha’s dress, on her breasts. More macaroni and cheese fell all around her. It collected in a pile on her lap and on her legs. Alesha shook her arms, letting some of the macaroni fall off. Her head still decorated in the macaroni and cheese.
Jessie wasted little time selecting the next bucket. The bucket was filled with pasta salad. The type that was sold in the chilled foods sections of the larger supermarkets. The stuff was really disgusting it must have been expired for at least a week, because the odour that it was omitting was positively putrid. Jessie took the bucket over to Alesha and let hr have a look. She almost gagged when she smelled the pasta salad. “Pasta salad,” Jessie said, again in the funny accent that she had used earlier. Alesha rolled her eyes. She quickly moved her head forward. Jessie raised the bucket and began to pour. The slimy, spoiled pasta salad rolled in lumps from the edge of the bucket. It fell in drips and drabs down onto Alesha. It made a disgusting plopping sound as it fell all over the already filthy talent show judge. Large hunks of the pasta rolled down Alesha’s face. She talked to herself saying that she could not believe that this was happening as pasta salad slithered its way down her face and body. Instead of a large lump, the pasta salad stuck in small pasta bits all over Alesha. Some stuck to the macaroni and cheese. The foul smelling pasta salad came down straight onto Alesha’s face . Her shoulders and arms dripped with the stuff. “This stuff stinks,” Alesha yelped, slamming her messy hands down onto her lap lightly. Jessie pointed at her and laughed. “Sorry, babes,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
Jessie then went over and grabbed the final bucket of the evening. She walked over to Alesha, carrying it. “This one is for the Voice. The Voice rules,” Jessie shouted. She made some hooting noises as she got herself into position. The bucket was filled with real coleslaw. “Coleslaw,” Jessie said, in the same funny accent that she had used before. “Coleslaw?,” Alesha said,” No way. You are not being serious right now,” she uttered. “Oh, but I am,” Jessie said. “No, wait, please,” Alesha said, trying her hardest to protest. “I think she wants slaw with that,” Jessie said. “You know, I never dreamed that I would ever be pouring coleslaw on Alesha Dixon’s head, but I had always really hoped,” Jessie said. She busted out laughing. “I have to say, I never imagined getting coleslaw poured over my head,” Alesha said. “It just never crossed my mind.” Alesha took a deep breath, knowing that she was about to get slawed. Jessie wiggled the bucket around in her hands. When the time was right, she picked it up. Again, she repeated,” This one is for the Voice.” She then hoisted the heavy bucket up into the air and tipped it over. A pile of thick, sloppy, stinky coleslaw tumbled out of the bucket and landed on Alesha’s head. She shook her head, opened her mouth and screamed. Coleslaw covered the top of her head and poured down her face. Little bits of sloppy carrot could be seen slopping down her face. Coleslaw rolled down the front of her body, leaving a trail down her chest and stomach. A large pile of coleslaw piled on her lap. The smell was absolutely atrocious. The feeling of power that Jessie was having was amazing. She had total control, powering coleslaw all over her rival as she saw fit. ” If you ever wanted to see Alesha Dixon covered in coleslaw, this is your lucky day,” Jessie joked. In the meantime, Alesha was experiencing coleslaw in a way that not many people have ever experienced before. The disgusting food was slathered all over her body. She tried to push some away from herself. Everyone was howling in laughter at what they had just witnessed. It did not really get more embarrassing that this. Alesha sat wallowing in the mess. Jessie posed and bowed. She made muscle poses.
Just then the sounds of Alesha’s hit song began to play, the boy does nothing. “Does he wash up, no he doesn’t wash up, does he clean up, he never cleans up does he brush up, he never brushes up. He does nothing the boy does nothing” The words went. They mocked Alesha. Obviously, she was in bad need of a good clean up herself at the moment. When the music started out, she recognised it instantly. She laughed hysterically. The Britain’s Got Talent buzzers went off and the red X’s that were in the studio illuminated. Alesha could do nothing but laugh and wave. She was still covered in the mess that had been poured on her. She had really paid the price on this day.
There was a ratings war going on between Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice for viewers on Saturday nights. The two shows went back and forth in the ratings battle for weeks and things began to get a bit heated between the two shows. Each show had a feisty, young attractive woman on their judging panel. Britain’s Got Talent had Alesha Dixon and the Voice had Jessie J. The two were both fiery and outspoken. The press, being what it is, was making the battle between the shows the number one topic for discussion. They were not above fanning the flames when the opportunity arose as well. It was hard for Alesha and Jessie to avoid being asked questions about the other show. Inevitably, one of them made a meaningless comment while the press were around and, of course, the quote was taken completely out of context and blown totally out of proportion. It was not long before the two were involved in a war of words. No one could even remember how the whole thing started, in the end. It was becoming more and more heated though as the days passed.
The makers of Let Her Have It witnessed what was going on between the two and seized the opportunity. The producers approached the makers of each show, suggesting that Alesha and Jessie appear on Let her Have It. The show would air on a Saturday evening after Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice had ended. The idea was to see which show got the better ratings. The judge from the show that got the higher rating would then get the chance to gunge the other judge. It would be a humiliating loss for the judge and for the show that garnered the lower ratings. Each lady agreed to take part in the end, because they both were confident that their show would win. They also were very eager humiliate the other on national television. The two did not hate each other or anything,. They had never even really met before. However, they both had massive egos and attitude to spare.
That week, both Alesha and Jessie cut promos for the show. One thing was for sure, someone was going to be getting embarrassed big style in front of the whole world. This was going to be as embarrassing as it could get. The winner was not going to take any mercy on the loser either. On top of that, all of the other judges would be there watching. They were representing their whole show, not just themselves. What was worse, was that it was all completely out of their own hands. It would be the viewers who would be determining the outcome. Although Jessie and Alesha were a part of the reason why people watched their shows, they were not even the main reason. The promos aired during the week leading up to the big Saturday. The promos were simple. They were shot from the neck up. In the promos, each judge put their case forward for why people should watch their show and why they should avoid the mess.
Alesha’s promo went like this. “Hi, I’m Alesha Dixon. I’m one of the judges on Britain’s Got Talent. We have a great show lined up for you this week, guys. Please tune in. I will be appearing on Let Her Have It on Saturday. If you don’t watch the show, I will end up getting gunged. So please save me. Let’s get Jessie J gunged instead. It will be so much better. She is very mouthy. She really deserves it a lot more than I do. So, please watch Britain’s Got Talent. Save me please.” Jessie’s promo, on the other hand went like this. “Hi guys. I’m Jessie J from the Voice. I am here to ask you to tune in to the Voice this weekend. The more of you who watch the better. And your reward, getting to see me gunge Alesha Dixon. You guys no you want to see me gunge that little cow. I am going to love it. Alesha Dixon covered in mess. I want to see it and I know all of you watching at home want to see it. I promise to make it extra messy for her. So go on, watch the Voice this Saturday.” Jessie smiled and gave a thumbs up.
It was a nerve racking week for the two women. Britain’s Got Talent seemed as though it was the more popular show, but the Voice was brand new. People might tune in at first just to see what it was all about. The initial ratings might be much higher than on a normal week. The stakes were very high this time for these two. All week Alesha got teased about the possibility of getting messed up. It began to really get on her nerves after awhile. When Jessie was asked about it, she seemed as cool as a cucumber. “I am going to win. Don’t worry about that. It won’t be me getting messy. Alesha Dixon is in for a very sloppy evening.” Privately, Jessie did not mind that much if she lost. It she was on the losing end, she would still play things cool and act as if she did not mind at all. She would act like getting gunged was no big deal.
Finally, both shows aired and the viewing figures were quickly collated. Alesha and Jessie would not find out what the results were until the moment of truth on the show. The ladies both prepared themselves back stage. Jessie wore a pair of tight black hotpants, a pair of black boots and a black and white shirt with print on it and shiny, leather and glittery bits on the sides. Alesha wore her hair back in a ponytail and low cut, very short yellow dress. She was always fond of showing a lot of leg for some reason. She was now becoming a bit nervous. She was imagining how embarrassing this would be if her show did not get the higher viewing figures. She felt that her show was better and would get the most viewers, but nothing was assured. There was a chance, no matter how small, that she would be on the losing end. She made herself think positively though. She imagined what it would be like to gunge Jessie J and to shut her mouth once and for all.
The show started, as usual, with Mr. G. entering the studio. The studio was decorated half in the style of Britain’s Got Talent and half in the style of the voice. It looked as though half of the stage was directly from each show. In the centre there were two chairs. They were the judges’ chairs from Britain’s Got Talent and from the Voice. The interest in this episode was keen, because it was so topical. The two shows had just aired an hour previously and now there was going to be consequences as a result. All of the other judges from both shows were sat in the front rows of the audience on either side of the seating in order to witness what was about to happen. Mr. G. began to speak,” Thank you everyone and welcome to Let Her Have It. As you may or may not know, today is a very special day. There has been a ratings battle going on on Saturday nights between Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice. There has been a verbal battle as well between the judges. Well, that is all going to be settles once and for all tonight, in our forum. The two shows aired earlier tonight. The ratings are now in. On our show tonight we have a judge representing each show with us. They have agreed that whoever’s show got the lowest rating is going to be getting messy, right here tonight. It is going to be an embarrassing evening for someone tonight. So, can we please welcome, from the Voice, Jessie J and from Britain’s Got Talent, Alesha Dixon.”
The two entered from opposite sides of the stage as a music from both of their shows was played. Jessie walked in, dancing as she walked, pushing her hands to the sky and raising the roof. Alesha smiled and waived. She pointed at someone and laughed. They both entered the studio, shook Mr. G,’s hand and sat in their respective judging chairs side by side. They each crossed their legs as they sat down. They reached over and shook each other’s hand. They wished each other good luck. “So ladies, you two are very brave. Your fate is completely out of your own hands. All you can do now is pray that more people tuned in to your show earlier tonight What’s going through your mind right now, at a time like this?,” he asked. “How much fun it is going to be to totally slop her up,” Jessie said confidently,” I can’t wait.” “What about you Alesha?” “Well, like you said, I am just hoping and praying that we got the figures. I really do not want to be on the losing end tonight, for obvious reasons,” she said with a laugh. “Well one thing is for sure. It is going to get very, very messy. These two are dying to take home the bragging rights for their shows and to totally mess the other one. Frankly, I hope it was a tie,” he joked.
“Well, I think that we should get on and read our results. The tension in the studio tonight is palpable. Someone is about to get very, very messy, but who will it be?” “Yah, bring it on. Let’s get messy,” Jessie shouted. “Oh God,” Alesha said, “Maybe we should postpone this. With the economic crisis and all, I think wasting food like this is irresponsible,” she joked. “For the record all the food we use here, is no longer edible. It would just be thrown out anyway, if we didn’t use it, so there are no excuses.” “Damn,” she said. She motioned with her hands,” It was worth a try.” She gave out her famous high pitched laugh. “Well, I think we should get to our results. We have all been waiting for this moment. I think it is time to press record on your home video equipment. This is going to be a Kodak moment.” The lights were lowered and a hush came over the studio. Alesha lowered her head, closed her eyes and crossed her fingers. Jessie scrunched up her nose and gave a slightly pained look of anticipation. “Ok then, here we go. I can now reveal that Britain’s Got Talent got 7.6 million viewers. On the other hand the Voice had….” Alesha and Jessie stomped their feet in anticipation and Mr. G. paused in order to build the tension more and more. “9.6 million viewers.” Alesha’s mouth fell open in a sort of combination laugh and scream. Her eyes widened and she put her hands over her mouth in shock. Jessie, meanwhile, was moving her hands around in celebratory dance. She pointed and laughed at Alesha, leaning over. “Ha ha, in your face,” she said. “Yeah,” Alesha said,” Quite literally from the sound of it. She laughed hysterically with her famous, uncontrollable cackle of a laugh. “Gonna pour it all over you,” Jessie said in a joking voice. Alesha cracked up with laughter. “Oh god, this is terrible. How embarrassing ,” she said. “So Alesha, you’re show did not win did it?,” Mr. G. said. “No, it did not,” she replied. “You know what that means. For you?,” he said, putting his arm on the top of her chair. “Yes, I know what that means. I can’t believe this. How could we lose. I suppose I have to pay the consequences now do I?,” she said. “You’re gonna get dirty,” Jessie chimed in. Alesha just looked at her and shook her head.
“Ok Jessie, can I ask you to come with me,” Mr. G. said,” Alesha, can you please stay where you are. We will be getting back to you in just a moment.” Jessie stood up and followed him over to the side of the set, dancing along the whole way as she walked. Of course, the reason that Jessie was asked over was because the buckets and containers of mess were all over there that she would be using on Alesha. Jessie cackled evilly as she saw what she was about to pour over Alesha Dixon’s head. “This is going to be fun,” she said, smiling wickedly into the camera. Alesha arched her back to see what was going on. Alesha blushed, shook her head and screamed, “No,” at the top of her lungs. She then laughed. “You’d better be gentle,” Alesha joked, pointing her index finger at Jessie. Jessie teased back,” Oh don’t worry babe, I will be very gentle indeed,” she said in sexy, but cheeky voice. Jessie started singing, “I’m gonna gunge Alesha Dixon, I’m gonna gunge Alesha Dixon.” She danced around. Alesha shook her head and buried it in her hands. “Please,” she yelled.
Jessie J selected her first bucket and sauntered over to Alesha Dixon. “Time to get sloppy,” she said. She wiggled her eyebrows and laughed. “Oh no, Jessie, please don’t do this. I am sure we can come to some arrangement,” Alesha begged. The bucket that Jessie grabbed was full of oreo milkshake. It was filled with freezing could ice cream and milk mixed with mashed up oreo cookies. The shake was a greyish sort of colour and filled with chunky brown bits. Jessie approached Alesha with the bucket. She puckered her lips and made a fake sad face. Alesha pointed at her and laughed. “You are such a cow,” she said. Jessie took the bucket and walked behind Alesha. She placed her hand on her hip and posed with the bucket provocatively. She then lifted the bucket in the airy. The double thick shake began to pour out of the bucket, doubling over itself as it fell. When the first bit of the freezing cold milkshake hit Alesha on her face, the look on her face looked as if she had received an electric shock. Her eyes bugged out of her head and her mouth fell open. She almost jumped out of her seat. She screamed instinctively because of how cold the shake was against her skin. It poured onto the top of her head in waves of thick whitish grey mess dotted with brown spots. It slithered down over the front of Alesha’s face and down her nose. It fell in a circular pool on the top of her jet black hair before pouring down the sides of her hair. Her scream was soon replaced by Alesha’s thunderous laughter. She stomped her feet and screwed up her mouth. She placed her fingers to her nose and eyes, wiping some of the milkshake from them, as the mess continued to pour down on her. It began to plop down on her shoulders and down into her top and cleavage. She laughed and looked around as the milkshake still was being poured over her by Jessie J. It showed no signs of ceasing. The beautiful talent show host was now coated in thick, freezing cold mess. It was nearly as thick as oatmeal. She ran her hands over her messy arms. She shook her head in disbelief. Bits of oreo speckled her all over. Her dress was already nearly overwhelmed by the mess that covered it. A blob of thick ice cream dripped from Alesha’s nose. Another fell from her upper lip. “It is freezing, ugh,” she squealed. She was already covered in mess from head to toe and it was only bucket number one. Alesha’s face dripped with messy milkshake.
In the meantime, Jessie J danced over to the other messy buckets and selected one. The bucket contained an enormous amount of banana puree. Jessie picked it up and quipped, “This will have Alesha going bananas.” The puree was incredibly thick and contained tons of banana slices. As Jessie carried the bucket over to Alesha, she noticed that there were several huge banana chunks inside of it, floating on the top. She placed the bucket down and, with her hands pulled them out. They were about the size of a half of a banana each. She pulled them out and pushed them into Alesha’s face. When Alesha opened her mouth to laugh, Jessie pushed the bananas into her mouth. For a second the bananas hung from Alesha’s mouth before she gagged and spit them out. They fell down from her mouth and onto her body. As Alesha lurched forward, Jessie had already made her way around behind Alesha and had started to pour the banana puree down onto Alesha. Alesha raised her shoulders as the thick pudding poured down the back of her head. It oozed down the back of her neck and down her back. She caught her breath and closed her eyes as Jessie moved the bucket and poured the puree down onto her head. The puree was thick and yellow, very similar to custard, but with thick banana slices in it. The smell was lovely at least. The puree cupped over Alesha’s head. Yellow pudding mingling with her black hair. Jessie aimed most of it down onto her face though. A curtain of thick pudding poured down over Alesha’s face. Soon her whole head was covered in it. Alesha crossed her arms across herself as more poured down her lovely long neck and over her breasts. It splashed all over her dress. Her dress was now overwhelmed by mess. It clung to Alesha’s body and become almost see through. Alesha could now feel the mess getting everywhere as Jessie poured it over her. She could feel it down her back and over her chest. She could feel it plopping down on her thighs and could feel it seeping in between her legs. Puree made its way onto her knees. She could feel it dripping down her calves down to her ankles, feet and down to her high heels. It seemed to pour for ages. Eventually, the bucket was empty. Alesha was now covered in thick yellow mess. Banana slices stuck all over her body. She, again, took her long fingers and wiped some of the mess from her eyes and face. She joined Jessie and the rest of the audience in laughing at her situation. She arched her back and laughed uncontrollably. All of the judges from both shows were loving what they were seeing, of course. She gave a thumbs up and laughed. She wiggled her behind on her chair, trying to dislodge some of the mess that had collect on the chair beneath her backside. She was soaked in mess from head toe. At least she was keeping her sense of humour about the whole thing. She could not stop herself from laughing, even though she was embarrassed beyond belief.
Jessie walked over and pulled out the next bucket for Alesha. Unfortunately for Alesha, the contents of the bucket made the mess that already covered Alesha look positively pleasant. The bucket was filled with macaroni and cheese. It was incredibly disgusting funny curly shaped pasta in an even more disgusting white cheesy sauce. Jessie carried the bucket over to Alesha and said, in a put on French accent, “Macaroni and cheese” Alesha squealed in laughter her mouth falling open. “Macaroni and cheese?,” she uttered. She screwed up her face,” Seriously?” Jessie shook her head. “Oh yes,” she said. She went around behind Alesha and got ready to pour. Alesha shut her eyes. “Oh….my…..gooooooooooooood!” She squealed as macaroni and cheese was dumped from the bucket and landed on top of her head. Her mouth wide open as the macaroni dumped onto her head. The first bit landed on top of her head and stuck in place. It looked as though she had some sort of bizarre judge’s wig on her head. Macaroni and cheese dangled from the mass on top of her head. Macaroni dangled from her ears and earrings as well as from her nose. Cheese dripped down the sides of her face. More macaroni fell down all over her. Another large glob landed and took residence on the top of Alesha’s dress, on her breasts. More macaroni and cheese fell all around her. It collected in a pile on her lap and on her legs. Alesha shook her arms, letting some of the macaroni fall off. Her head still decorated in the macaroni and cheese.
Jessie wasted little time selecting the next bucket. The bucket was filled with pasta salad. The type that was sold in the chilled foods sections of the larger supermarkets. The stuff was really disgusting it must have been expired for at least a week, because the odour that it was omitting was positively putrid. Jessie took the bucket over to Alesha and let hr have a look. She almost gagged when she smelled the pasta salad. “Pasta salad,” Jessie said, again in the funny accent that she had used earlier. Alesha rolled her eyes. She quickly moved her head forward. Jessie raised the bucket and began to pour. The slimy, spoiled pasta salad rolled in lumps from the edge of the bucket. It fell in drips and drabs down onto Alesha. It made a disgusting plopping sound as it fell all over the already filthy talent show judge. Large hunks of the pasta rolled down Alesha’s face. She talked to herself saying that she could not believe that this was happening as pasta salad slithered its way down her face and body. Instead of a large lump, the pasta salad stuck in small pasta bits all over Alesha. Some stuck to the macaroni and cheese. The foul smelling pasta salad came down straight onto Alesha’s face . Her shoulders and arms dripped with the stuff. “This stuff stinks,” Alesha yelped, slamming her messy hands down onto her lap lightly. Jessie pointed at her and laughed. “Sorry, babes,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
Jessie then went over and grabbed the final bucket of the evening. She walked over to Alesha, carrying it. “This one is for the Voice. The Voice rules,” Jessie shouted. She made some hooting noises as she got herself into position. The bucket was filled with real coleslaw. “Coleslaw,” Jessie said, in the same funny accent that she had used before. “Coleslaw?,” Alesha said,” No way. You are not being serious right now,” she uttered. “Oh, but I am,” Jessie said. “No, wait, please,” Alesha said, trying her hardest to protest. “I think she wants slaw with that,” Jessie said. “You know, I never dreamed that I would ever be pouring coleslaw on Alesha Dixon’s head, but I had always really hoped,” Jessie said. She busted out laughing. “I have to say, I never imagined getting coleslaw poured over my head,” Alesha said. “It just never crossed my mind.” Alesha took a deep breath, knowing that she was about to get slawed. Jessie wiggled the bucket around in her hands. When the time was right, she picked it up. Again, she repeated,” This one is for the Voice.” She then hoisted the heavy bucket up into the air and tipped it over. A pile of thick, sloppy, stinky coleslaw tumbled out of the bucket and landed on Alesha’s head. She shook her head, opened her mouth and screamed. Coleslaw covered the top of her head and poured down her face. Little bits of sloppy carrot could be seen slopping down her face. Coleslaw rolled down the front of her body, leaving a trail down her chest and stomach. A large pile of coleslaw piled on her lap. The smell was absolutely atrocious. The feeling of power that Jessie was having was amazing. She had total control, powering coleslaw all over her rival as she saw fit. ” If you ever wanted to see Alesha Dixon covered in coleslaw, this is your lucky day,” Jessie joked. In the meantime, Alesha was experiencing coleslaw in a way that not many people have ever experienced before. The disgusting food was slathered all over her body. She tried to push some away from herself. Everyone was howling in laughter at what they had just witnessed. It did not really get more embarrassing that this. Alesha sat wallowing in the mess. Jessie posed and bowed. She made muscle poses.
Just then the sounds of Alesha’s hit song began to play, the boy does nothing. “Does he wash up, no he doesn’t wash up, does he clean up, he never cleans up does he brush up, he never brushes up. He does nothing the boy does nothing” The words went. They mocked Alesha. Obviously, she was in bad need of a good clean up herself at the moment. When the music started out, she recognised it instantly. She laughed hysterically. The Britain’s Got Talent buzzers went off and the red X’s that were in the studio illuminated. Alesha could do nothing but laugh and wave. She was still covered in the mess that had been poured on her. She had really paid the price on this day.
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