Eastenders Vanessa and Jodie

Eastenders Vanessa and Jodie




Vanessa was Jodie’s mother. Jodie loved her mother, but she could be hard work sometimes. She was very opinionated and sometimes tried to get her daughter to live her life the way that she would like her to, rather than how she wanted. Vanessa had lots of her own issues as well. She had as many issues with men as Jodie did, probably more. In short, Jodie had put up with quite a lot from her mother over the years. Jodie was a grown woman, but she was quite naïve, not very bright and quite childish. Vanessa was streetwise, self serving and could be quite ruthless at times. She had been through terrible times in her life, as a result, she was willing to stoop to pretty low ends to do what she thought was best for herself and for her daughter. The two were nothing alike at all.

It all happened on an otherwise normal day in the square. Jodie and Vanessa had been shopping for some clothes in town and were walking down the street together. The pair were spotted by a two man crew, one carrying a camera. They had spotted the two and approached them. “Hello,” the man said,” I hate to bother you on a nice day like this, but we are filming a gameshow using average people on the street. Are you two together?,” he asked. “Yeah, I’m Jodie and this is my Mum,” Jodie answered. “Oh, just leave it,” Vanessa said, not wanting to be bothered. “Is this going to be on tv?,” Jodie asked. “It sure is,“ the man replied. “Did you hear that Mum, tv, I’m going to be on tv. This is my big chance, I’m going to be a star,” Jodie jumped in. “So you will agree to take part then?,” the man asked. “Oh definitely,” Jodie replied,” I have always wanted to be on television. This is great,” she said, getting carried away. Vanessa was warming to the idea as well. She did not mind the idea of being on television herself. Vanessa was quite a haughty and conceded woman. It was true that she looked very good for someone her age, but she also was very aware of that fact. She was every bit the show off that Jodie was in her own way. Jodie was very excited already. Of course, she had not even bothered to ask what the show was about or what she or her Mum would have to do yet.



“Ok, ladies, can you please accompany me over this way,” the presenter asked. Jodie and Vanessa followed. By this time Jodie was nearly jumping out of her skin with excitement. She was babbling on and on about how great this was. “Calm down now, Jodie, don’t be embarrassing,” Vanessa scolded her. “Sorry, Mum,” Jodie responded sheepishly. “Ok ladies, you are probably wondering what the game is all about. Well I am about to tell you. Basically, this is how it works, Vanessa, please take a seat on this chair. You can make yourself comfortable for now. Jodie has to do all the work. Jodie you will be playing for your Mum.” “Ok,” Jodie replied. Vanessa reluctantly took her place on the hot seat. She adjusted her short skirt and crossed hr legs. As almost always, Vanessa wore her trademark white skirt suit. She seemed to wear almost nothing else but it for long periods of time.



“Ok Jodie and Vanessa, our game is very simple. It is a simple quiz. We will ask five questions. Jodie, all you have to do is get three out of five correct. If you get three correct, you will win a trip to Turkey, all expenses paid for you and your Mum. However, if you get three or more wrong there is a consequence. That consequence is will be on the head of Vanessa here. That is where Vanessa will get to take part.” Vanessa’s eyes widened. “Consequence, what the hell do you mean, consequence,” she shouted. Well if you notice, we have a cart over here with various lovely foods. If Jodie does not win the challenge, she is going to have the sad task of emptying all of that food over your head Vanessa.” Jodie could not help but point and laugh. Her mother glared at her. “Oh sorry, Mum,” she said, desperately trying to hold the laughter in. Jodie was like a child, she was going to love the chance to do this to her Mum. Vanessa shook her head angrily. “No, no no,” this is not happening,” she said. “Don’t worry Vanessa, I am sure Jodie will get all of the answers correct and you will have nothing to worry about at all. It will be fun in the sun with the free holiday,” the presenter said. “Are you kidding, she is as dumb as a…,” Vanessa cut herself off, realizing what she was about to say. Her daughter looked at her with big sad eyes. “Don’t you have any faith in me Mum. Don’t worry. I have got this. No way are you getting that yucky stuff poured on you,” Jodie said,” I have this in the bag.” “Yes, of course I believe in you honey. We will be on that beach in no time,” Vanessa said in a decidedly half hearted manner. Of course, she still did not have any faith her daughter. Jodie was not the brightest person in the world. Vanessa knew that she was in deep trouble. She just could not say that in front of the whole world. Little did Vanessa know that Jodie was much more intelligent than she could have ever imagined. Jodie saw her mother’s reaction and knew that her mother thought that she was stupid. This annoyed Jodie greatly, so she decided that she was going to get the questions wrong no matter what they were. She was going to intentionally lose so she could pour that stuff over her mother. Sure, she would have loved to go on the trip, but this would be even better. Jodie was not going to try to win this. Vanessa was in a now in situation now. No one was going to feel sympathy for Vanessa though. She really deserved what she was going to get. She deserved it for the way she treated people sometimes and she deserved it for her vanity.

“Ok Jodie, are you ready for your questions?,” The presenter asked,” There is a lot at stake here for your Mum.” “I am so ready, I will get the questions right, no problem at all,” she said. Vanessa rolled her eyes. She could barely hide her worry as she squirmed in her chair. She was already sweating heavily. It was a foregone conclusion in her head that Jodie would not win the challenge. This was true, but not for the reasons that she thought. Vanessa was bright red and very hot, although it was difficult to tell underneath the mountains of fake tan and make up that she always wore. Vanessa was about to learn a lesson, the hard way.

“Ok then here we go,” the presenter said. “Question one, what is the capital of Spain?” Jodie confidently answered ,” Paris” “Um, I am sorry Jodie, but Paris is not even in Spain,” the presenter said. Jodie bit her lip and scrunched up her nose. She looked at Vanessa,” Sorry,” she mouthed with exaggeration. Vanessa rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Oh dear,” Jodie said. “Well, that is one incorrect answer. Let’s move to question number two. This is an easy one. Who is the president of the United States?,” he asked. “Um, Bill Clinton?,” Jodie answered. “Well, getting closer. He used to be the president but is not the current president,” the presenter said. “Oh fiddle sticks,” Jodie said. Vanessa was actually very angry. She was hot and felt like her head was going to explode, but knew there was nothing she could do. “Sorry, Mum, I am doing my best,” Jodie said,” I am sure I will get the next one. I have lots more chances to win,” she said. “Ok“, the presenter said,” Jodie, you must get all of the rest of the questions right in order to win the holiday. Otherwise, the hot seat that your Mum is sitting on is going to get a whole lot hotter. Things will get very interesting for her and we would not want that to happen would we?” “Oh of course not,” Jodie said,” That would be terrible, none of us would want to see that happen.” Only she knew that she was being sarcastic. “It would be so embarrassing.”



“Ok then question three,” the presenter said,” What religion is the pope?” Jodie furrowed her brow. Vanessa looked at her, urging her with her eyes. “Oh come on it’s easy,” Vanessa shouted. “Now, now, no helping her,” the presenter said. Vanessa crossed her arms and shook her head in anger and exasperation. “Um, Church of England,” Jodie said in an unsure voice. The presenter looked at her, dumbfounded. “Um, Church of England. That would be incorrect Jodie” “Oh my gosh, how sad,” Jodie said. “That means you have gotten three incorrect, which, unfortunately, means you have lost. Oh no, Vanessa you know what that means,” he said. She glared at him angrily. “Yeah, I know what it means,” she said angrily. “Sorry, Mum, I tried my best. I guess I was just too dumb,” Jodie said. “Sorry Vanessa, Jodie did her best, but unfortunately for you, it will be you that will have to pay the price this time,” the presenter said. Vanessa knew that everyone was secretly loving this and taking the mick out of her, she was angry beyond belief. Everyone knew that she deserved what she was going to get, so there was very little sympathy for her. Although she did not come out and say it, it was very clear that she thought Jodie was to blame and was angry with her for the whole thing.

“So, Jodie has lost. Here is what is going to happen now. Jodie is going to have the sad duty of pouring all of this lovely food from our cart all over her Mum. Can I say again, this is something no one wanted to happen, but it is just the rules of the game,” he said with obvious sarcasm, almost breaking out in laughter. “No one would ever want to pour sloppy food over their Mum.” “Aww, how sad,” Jodie said. “Well Jodie, I think it is about time,” he said. He then handed Jodie a bottle of red wine to get started with. “Oh see, mum, you love your glasses of wine. Isn’t this good,” Jodie said. Vanessa glared at her and flared her nostrils. “That white skirt suit is not going to stay white very much longer,” the presenter stated. Jodie took the bottle. She shook it up with both of her hands. She then aimed the bottle in the direction of her all white clad mother. She popped the top and a spritz of red wine exploded from the bottle straight at Vanessa. She screamed and waived her hands about in front of her in an attempt to deflect some of the wine. The bubbly wine sprayed Vanessa’s front. Jodie aimed the bottle across her mother’s white jacket. She then moved it downward up and down her mother’s outfit, spraying the dark wine all over Vanessa’s skirt and then down her legs. The wine instantly stained Vanessa’s favourite white suit with large purple stains. The wine dripped down Vanessa’s tanned legs and inside the top of her suit. Jodie tried to hide it, but she was taking an enormous amount of pleasure in destroying the clothes that her mother had worn so often. Vanessa felt that she must have looked ridiculous. “Vanessa,” the presenter said,” On another note, what would you use to remove wine stains from fabric?,” he mockingly asked her. “Oh shut up,” she said, knowing that he was making fun of her. “This was a very expensive designer suit, I will have you know,” she said. “The operative word there being, was,” he said. “Hey Mum, I think you got a little some on you there,” Jodie mocked.

“Now, we know that you are a classy woman of the most refined taste so we have got you something else to enjoy,” the presenter said,” We have gone to the trouble to get you some lovely caviar. Unfortunately, we are not as rich as you are, so all we could afford was caviar that was slightly spoiled. We hope you don’t mind,” he said. “Wow, Mum, caviar, how posh,” Jodie said with a smile. Jodie was then handed a medium sized pot of caviar. She took it and stood behind her mother. Vanessa craned her neck, trying to look backwards. As she looked up, Jodie, began to pour the spoiled fish eggs and jelly down onto her mother’s face. Vanessa’s fake tan covered face and bleached blonde hair soon were dripping with very tiny, very black fish eggs. The caviar was jet black against her tanned skin and almost white hair. The caviar piled in tiny stacks across Vanessa’s face. Every wrinkle and crevice in the aging diva’s face was now lined with black fish eggs. Some rolled down her neck and down inside her suit jacket. Her soft flaxen hair was peppered with tiny black fish eggs. They did not smell very good. Various configurations of the globs of caviar ran down Vanessa’s formerly white suit.

“Next, Jodie, we have some lovely duck pate for your Mum,” the presenter said. He pulled out a silver dish with a cover over it. He pulled off the cover and revealed a large, disc shaped piled of pate. It may have been a posh dish, but it looked and smelt a lot like dog food or spam. The smell was even more revolting than the smell of the caviar. “Now isn’t that a dish you would love to serve your Mum?,” the presenter asked. “Oooh, pate Mum. I feel like the queen,” Jodie said. Jodie, with the help of the presenter, carried the silver tray with the pate on it over to Vanessa. “Time to serve her,” the presenter said. Vanessa closed her eyes as her daughter and the presenter held the tray inches away from her face. She gagged from the smell of the pate. They then raised the tray and smushed it into Vanessa’s face. They twisted it around a bit, as if it were a pie. Vanessa came face to face with the pate. She came to know the pate intimately. The pate pressed against her face. She tried her best to not open her mouth in order to avoid the taste of the rotten pate. The blob of pate was about the size of her head. Her entire face was now smushed with the pate. She could hear Jodie laughing at her. Jodie and the presenter dropped the tray. Vanessa’s face was covered and packed with pate. Even though she tried to keep her mouth shut, pate still fell from her mouth and nose. She could feel, smell and taste it in a way that was most unpleasant. The whole front of her face had pate stuck all over it. Her hair was matted in the brown coloured meat product. Jodie was really enjoying heaping this type of humiliation onto her Mum. It was a very personal way to extract revenge on someone who had not always been the most respectful person in the world.

Another silver tray was then presented. When the lid was lifted, a mound of egg salad was revealed underneath. The smell again was repulsive. It omitted a strong sulphur like odour. The egg in it was mixed with some sort of sauce like substance, turning it into a mountain of slop. It was whitish yellow in colour and piled high. The presenter again, helped Jodie carry the tray over to her Mum. This time, the held it in front of her just as they had done with the pate. However, this time, instead of pushing it into her face, they simply turned it over. The egg salad fell over onto Vanessa’s body. The majority, landed on her short white skirt and stomach. A large portion then tumbled down her lap and all over her fake tanned legs. She could feel the disgusting sensation of disgusting, rotting egg salad up against her bare flesh. She tried her best to keep her knees together. This, however, caused a large amount of the mess to ooze down between her legs and up into her skirt. Her calves now dripped in egg salad. Vanessa scowled. Jodie could now not hold back her laughter. Embarrassing hr Mum like this was much more fun than she had ever expected.

It was not over yet either. A gigantic bucket of baked beans was now revealed. Jodie took her time with the bucket, she carried it over to her Mum. Vanessa was eating humble pie now. Her dignity was in tatters. She was now about to get covered in baked beans by her daughter. She closed her eyes. Jodie held the bucket and posed with it. The smile on her face was a mile wide. She waived and laughed. She then began to pour. The bucket had enough beans in it for Jodie to pour them over every part of her Mum. She slowly tipped the bucket over. The beans slowly emerged from the bucket, falling through the air a short distance and then falling onto Vanessa’s face. They poured down her nose and forehead. As they fell they made a disgusting plopping noise that sounded somewhere between flatulence and someone walking in deep mud with Wellingtons on. The beans poured into the crevices on the sides of Vanessa’s mouth. Her eyes and mouth were then overwhelmed by the rush of beans. The beans covered her entire face. They then poured onto the top of her head. The beans soaked the top of her hair first and then poured down the sides of her head, covering her hair in sloppy beans. Beans then poured down Vanessa’s sexy neck. She could feel them oozing down her neck. It sent chills yup her spine. Beans then took their toll on her jacket and what lay beneath. Two separate rivers of beans poured down either side of Vanessa’s suit jacket. She could feel beans inside of her jacket and then down her back. Her jacket was now full of beans. Gravity took the beans down her body and down onto her skirt and between her legs. The beans and their juice overwhelmed her formerly white skirt. It went almost see through with orange beans juice. Baked beans were then poured up and down her legs. Her backside wiggled in her seat and she moved her legs back and forth as baked beans splattered her tanned thighs and calves. When the beans were finally finished, very few areas on Vanessa’s body were left untouched by beans. They dripped everywhere, a large puddle forming beneath Vanessa. She ran her fingers over her face and cleared some of the beans from her eyes. Jodie had taken the time to pour the beans all over her Mum. She relished the chance. She took it slow and soaked up the enjoyment. Vanessa was, of course furious.

“So Vanessa, how about a wave and smile for everyone watching back at home,” the presenter said. Vanessa’s eyes widened. She had totally forgotten that this was being videotaped and would be broadcasted on national television. The entire world was going to get the chance to see this. Jodie took a bow and smiled. She had her picture taken with her messy Mum. The experience left Vanessa extremely humbled.

Jodie did not keep quiet about what happened. There was a very special screening at the Queen Vic. Vanessa was teased about what happened for months to come. Darren, Max, Lauren and Tanya particularly enjoyed what they saw. Pictures were taken and posted all over Watford.