Minnie Driver: Dumped again
Minnie Driver had been publicly humiliated before on television. There was one incident where she was dumped by her then boyfriend on national television. For some reason, Minnie was someone that this sort of thing always happened to. Maybe it was because she was a nice person in general, but she always seemed to end up in embarrassing situations. She had also been in a dunk tank on a talk show. Talk shows had become something of a danger zone for Minnie. Something strange and usually embarrassing was always bound to happen when she appeared on a talk show. Unfortunately for her, they were a regular part of her job. All actors and actresses really had no choice but to appear on talk shows to promote their films. Appearing on them was tedious as it was, without the usual perils that Minnie usually seemed to face.
Eventually, the time came around again for Minnie to do another round on the talk show circuit. She was not really looking forward to it, but it was an occupational hazard. She just hoped that nothing out of the ordinary would happen this time. She had a chequered history with talk shows to say the least. She was about halfway through the circuit this time and was in the middle of an appearance on one in a long list of talk shows when she heard a sentence that no one would ever want to hear in her position. She sat in her seat on the panel. She wore a tight fitting black skirt that rode up her sexy, freckle covered legs as she sat down and crossed her legs. It was slightly ruffled at the bottom and had a slight slit in one side. She wore a black and grey patterned buttoned shirt as well. All her clothes were tight fitting. She was not in the mould of Hollywood actress. She was not stick thin. Her body had plenty of curves. She looked amazing, but was not exactly what Hollywood wanted her to be. She answered all of their questions politely and took the opportunity to plug her new film, as was customary, of course. Finally, towards the interview, the presenter uttered some words that Minnie did not want to hear. “Minnie, we have a surprise for you.” These words filled her with dread. One thing was for certain, a surprise would never be something good. She did not like the sound of this one bit. She instantly started turning red. She could feel herself getting very hot. She did not want to let that show though. “Ok, a surprise. And what might that be?,” she said in a very calm and polite voice.
“Well, we have your current partner here to see you,” they said. “Current, partner, ok,” Minnie said, rolling her eyes. She had a partner, but it was nothing that she would consider serious. She was only dating this person. She would barely even class him as a boyfriend. She did not know him very well at all. They had only really been out a couple of times. Minnie ran her hand across her forehead and took a deep breath. She did not like the sounds of this at all. “Please welcome, Minnie’s boyfriend,” the presenter said. The audience applauded him. Minnie leaned over to see him as he entered the studio. She gave a nervous laugh, but it was clear that she was not at all amused by the situation that she was in. this was not agreed by her at all. Her partner came in smiling and waiving to the crowd. He was not an actor and was not famous. Although, he would sure have like to have been. He looked as though he was loving every minute of this. The thing that seemed the most odd though was the fact that he was carrying a rather heavy looking bucket with him as he entered the studio. That drew everyone’s attention, for sure.
He was introduced and was welcomed to the show. “So, if can tell everyone why you are doing the pleasure of visiting us here today, the presenter asked him. “Well, as you can see, I have this lovely bucket ready. I can now reveal why I have it. Basically, I am going to, quite literally, dump Minnie today,” He said. Minnie’s eyes widened. “What the fuck,” she muttered to herself. The crowd roared with applause. Minnie pointed at herself. “You’re dumping me?,” she said in anger and disbelief. “This is bullshit,” she said to herself. She began to sweat. She was turning bright red in embarrassment.
He walked up behind her carrying the bucket. She frantically looked around trying to see what he was doing behind her. She now began to wonder what the deal was with the bucket. She wondered what was actually inside it. It suddenly occurred to her that there may be something quite unpleasant in that bucket and it may be about to be poured over her head. “Wait a minute. What do you mean? Let’s talk about this,” she said frantically. Before he would even listen to her, though, he quickly tipped the bucket over onto Minnie’s head as she sat on her chair on the stage.
In an instant a barrage of spaghetti hoops were pouring down over Minnie’s head. She squealed and pouted as the thick sauce filled with hundreds of spaghetti hoops poured down her dark hair and down her face. The audience cheered and laughed. The smile on her now former partner was ear to ear. He was loving doing this to her. The spaghetti poured down the curves in her cheeks and down her face. It was thick and messy. It instantly covered the top of her head and oozed down her dark, naturally curly hair. It poured down her neck and the sides of her shirt. It was thick and sloppy, weighing heavily on the thin fabric of her silk like shirt. She could feel it rolling down the inside of her shirt, along her shoulders and down onto her bra and breasts. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. Spaghetti hoops were now poring down her body. They plopped down onto her skirt in irregular sloppy patterns every along her skirt. The disgusting spaghetti now poured directly down Minnie’s freckle covered thighs and calves. “ugh,” she uttered as she felt the spaghetti hoops against her bare skin. She used her fingers to wipe some of the spaghetti from her eyes. Her hair was soaked in spaghetti sauce. She wiggled her head. Her now former partner then leaned over to her. “Minnie, I’m dumping you,” he said with a smile. “Yeah, I got that,” she said sarcastically, making a sarcastic face as she said it.
Minnie was so involved in wiping away the spaghetti hoops from her face, she did not notice that one of the stage hands had handed her ex another bucket. Before she knew what was happening, he had lifted up the bucket and started to dump it over her head. This time the bucket was filled with baked beans. He waited until Minnie pulled her head back. Her face, facing straight up in the air. When he dumped the beans, they fell sloppily through the air and landed squarely in Minnie’s face. The beans in their nauseating orange/ red sauce, poured down onto her face. She closed her eyes tightly. Minnie could feel the beans plopping down on her face and slowly engulfing her entire head and neck. She opened her mouth wide and then stuck her tongue out. She slowly moved her face forward, allowing the beans to fall and trickle from her face, down her body. Her breasts were covered in beans. Her shirt was now being filled with beans. She could feel the slimy beans running down her neck and filling her shirt. She could feel them against her bra and her stomach. All she could feel and smell was beans and spaghetti. She stuck her tongue out and gagged a little. Beans were then poured all over the front of her skirt. Beans made there way over her thighs and dripped down her sexy, freckles calves, all the way down to her ankles and her high heels. Beans dripped down her, forming a large filthy puddle beneath where she sat. the grey carpeting on the stage looked terribly stained from the mess that fell from Minnie’s body. She wrung her hands together.
By this time, he had grabbed, yet another bucket. This one was filled with egg salad. It smelled repugnant. The pungent smell of rotten eggs filled the studio. When Minnie got a whiff of it she gagged. It absolutely stunk to high heaven. It was all yellow and slimy. It was filled with thick blobs of egg., mayonnaise and other disgusting substances. Her now ex boyfriend smiled as he held the bucket aloft over Minnie’s head. He then quickly tipped it over, sending blobs of gross egg salad all over Minnie. Large blobs of it stuck to her head, lap and cheeks. Minnie closed her eyes as large amounts of the rotting eggy mess made its way down her face. She tried to hold her mouth and nostrils as tightly closed as she possibly could in order to avoid smelling or tasting any of the disgusting mess that was falling all over her face. She mouthed the words, “This is so gross!” She rubbed her hands across her face, trying to remove as much of the egg salad as she possibly could. Bits of the disgusting slimy egg substance, stuck all over Minnie. She pulled her shirt open a bit and fanned herself with it, airing it out a little bit.
He finally took a large dog dish that was filled with dog food and carried it over to Minnie. He had a gigantic grin on his face. He brought the dog dish over to Minnie. “You are just too much of a dog for me,” he said, “And you are terrible in bed.” Minnie just shook her head. “I can’t believe this shit,” she muttered to herself. By this time she just wanted to get this over and done with. He then thrust the dog food dish into Minnie’s face. It hit with a humph noise. He twisted the bowl of dog food in his former lover’s face. He twisted it around, giving Minnie a massive face full of dog food. He then tipped the bowl over and placed it on top of Minnie’s head. Minnie gagged and gasped for breath. A huge blob of dog food fell out of her mouth. She spit it out. It rolled down her chin.
Her ex then bowed and led the audience in chanting,” Dumped, dumped, dumped, dumped.” Minnie stood up, glared at the audience and walked off stage. “Let’s hear it for Minnie Driver,” the presenter said. “I need to fire my agent,” she said to herself.
Minnie Driver had been publicly humiliated before on television. There was one incident where she was dumped by her then boyfriend on national television. For some reason, Minnie was someone that this sort of thing always happened to. Maybe it was because she was a nice person in general, but she always seemed to end up in embarrassing situations. She had also been in a dunk tank on a talk show. Talk shows had become something of a danger zone for Minnie. Something strange and usually embarrassing was always bound to happen when she appeared on a talk show. Unfortunately for her, they were a regular part of her job. All actors and actresses really had no choice but to appear on talk shows to promote their films. Appearing on them was tedious as it was, without the usual perils that Minnie usually seemed to face.
Eventually, the time came around again for Minnie to do another round on the talk show circuit. She was not really looking forward to it, but it was an occupational hazard. She just hoped that nothing out of the ordinary would happen this time. She had a chequered history with talk shows to say the least. She was about halfway through the circuit this time and was in the middle of an appearance on one in a long list of talk shows when she heard a sentence that no one would ever want to hear in her position. She sat in her seat on the panel. She wore a tight fitting black skirt that rode up her sexy, freckle covered legs as she sat down and crossed her legs. It was slightly ruffled at the bottom and had a slight slit in one side. She wore a black and grey patterned buttoned shirt as well. All her clothes were tight fitting. She was not in the mould of Hollywood actress. She was not stick thin. Her body had plenty of curves. She looked amazing, but was not exactly what Hollywood wanted her to be. She answered all of their questions politely and took the opportunity to plug her new film, as was customary, of course. Finally, towards the interview, the presenter uttered some words that Minnie did not want to hear. “Minnie, we have a surprise for you.” These words filled her with dread. One thing was for certain, a surprise would never be something good. She did not like the sound of this one bit. She instantly started turning red. She could feel herself getting very hot. She did not want to let that show though. “Ok, a surprise. And what might that be?,” she said in a very calm and polite voice.
“Well, we have your current partner here to see you,” they said. “Current, partner, ok,” Minnie said, rolling her eyes. She had a partner, but it was nothing that she would consider serious. She was only dating this person. She would barely even class him as a boyfriend. She did not know him very well at all. They had only really been out a couple of times. Minnie ran her hand across her forehead and took a deep breath. She did not like the sounds of this at all. “Please welcome, Minnie’s boyfriend,” the presenter said. The audience applauded him. Minnie leaned over to see him as he entered the studio. She gave a nervous laugh, but it was clear that she was not at all amused by the situation that she was in. this was not agreed by her at all. Her partner came in smiling and waiving to the crowd. He was not an actor and was not famous. Although, he would sure have like to have been. He looked as though he was loving every minute of this. The thing that seemed the most odd though was the fact that he was carrying a rather heavy looking bucket with him as he entered the studio. That drew everyone’s attention, for sure.
He was introduced and was welcomed to the show. “So, if can tell everyone why you are doing the pleasure of visiting us here today, the presenter asked him. “Well, as you can see, I have this lovely bucket ready. I can now reveal why I have it. Basically, I am going to, quite literally, dump Minnie today,” He said. Minnie’s eyes widened. “What the fuck,” she muttered to herself. The crowd roared with applause. Minnie pointed at herself. “You’re dumping me?,” she said in anger and disbelief. “This is bullshit,” she said to herself. She began to sweat. She was turning bright red in embarrassment.
He walked up behind her carrying the bucket. She frantically looked around trying to see what he was doing behind her. She now began to wonder what the deal was with the bucket. She wondered what was actually inside it. It suddenly occurred to her that there may be something quite unpleasant in that bucket and it may be about to be poured over her head. “Wait a minute. What do you mean? Let’s talk about this,” she said frantically. Before he would even listen to her, though, he quickly tipped the bucket over onto Minnie’s head as she sat on her chair on the stage.
In an instant a barrage of spaghetti hoops were pouring down over Minnie’s head. She squealed and pouted as the thick sauce filled with hundreds of spaghetti hoops poured down her dark hair and down her face. The audience cheered and laughed. The smile on her now former partner was ear to ear. He was loving doing this to her. The spaghetti poured down the curves in her cheeks and down her face. It was thick and messy. It instantly covered the top of her head and oozed down her dark, naturally curly hair. It poured down her neck and the sides of her shirt. It was thick and sloppy, weighing heavily on the thin fabric of her silk like shirt. She could feel it rolling down the inside of her shirt, along her shoulders and down onto her bra and breasts. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. Spaghetti hoops were now poring down her body. They plopped down onto her skirt in irregular sloppy patterns every along her skirt. The disgusting spaghetti now poured directly down Minnie’s freckle covered thighs and calves. “ugh,” she uttered as she felt the spaghetti hoops against her bare skin. She used her fingers to wipe some of the spaghetti from her eyes. Her hair was soaked in spaghetti sauce. She wiggled her head. Her now former partner then leaned over to her. “Minnie, I’m dumping you,” he said with a smile. “Yeah, I got that,” she said sarcastically, making a sarcastic face as she said it.
Minnie was so involved in wiping away the spaghetti hoops from her face, she did not notice that one of the stage hands had handed her ex another bucket. Before she knew what was happening, he had lifted up the bucket and started to dump it over her head. This time the bucket was filled with baked beans. He waited until Minnie pulled her head back. Her face, facing straight up in the air. When he dumped the beans, they fell sloppily through the air and landed squarely in Minnie’s face. The beans in their nauseating orange/ red sauce, poured down onto her face. She closed her eyes tightly. Minnie could feel the beans plopping down on her face and slowly engulfing her entire head and neck. She opened her mouth wide and then stuck her tongue out. She slowly moved her face forward, allowing the beans to fall and trickle from her face, down her body. Her breasts were covered in beans. Her shirt was now being filled with beans. She could feel the slimy beans running down her neck and filling her shirt. She could feel them against her bra and her stomach. All she could feel and smell was beans and spaghetti. She stuck her tongue out and gagged a little. Beans were then poured all over the front of her skirt. Beans made there way over her thighs and dripped down her sexy, freckles calves, all the way down to her ankles and her high heels. Beans dripped down her, forming a large filthy puddle beneath where she sat. the grey carpeting on the stage looked terribly stained from the mess that fell from Minnie’s body. She wrung her hands together.
By this time, he had grabbed, yet another bucket. This one was filled with egg salad. It smelled repugnant. The pungent smell of rotten eggs filled the studio. When Minnie got a whiff of it she gagged. It absolutely stunk to high heaven. It was all yellow and slimy. It was filled with thick blobs of egg., mayonnaise and other disgusting substances. Her now ex boyfriend smiled as he held the bucket aloft over Minnie’s head. He then quickly tipped it over, sending blobs of gross egg salad all over Minnie. Large blobs of it stuck to her head, lap and cheeks. Minnie closed her eyes as large amounts of the rotting eggy mess made its way down her face. She tried to hold her mouth and nostrils as tightly closed as she possibly could in order to avoid smelling or tasting any of the disgusting mess that was falling all over her face. She mouthed the words, “This is so gross!” She rubbed her hands across her face, trying to remove as much of the egg salad as she possibly could. Bits of the disgusting slimy egg substance, stuck all over Minnie. She pulled her shirt open a bit and fanned herself with it, airing it out a little bit.
He finally took a large dog dish that was filled with dog food and carried it over to Minnie. He had a gigantic grin on his face. He brought the dog dish over to Minnie. “You are just too much of a dog for me,” he said, “And you are terrible in bed.” Minnie just shook her head. “I can’t believe this shit,” she muttered to herself. By this time she just wanted to get this over and done with. He then thrust the dog food dish into Minnie’s face. It hit with a humph noise. He twisted the bowl of dog food in his former lover’s face. He twisted it around, giving Minnie a massive face full of dog food. He then tipped the bowl over and placed it on top of Minnie’s head. Minnie gagged and gasped for breath. A huge blob of dog food fell out of her mouth. She spit it out. It rolled down her chin.
Her ex then bowed and led the audience in chanting,” Dumped, dumped, dumped, dumped.” Minnie stood up, glared at the audience and walked off stage. “Let’s hear it for Minnie Driver,” the presenter said. “I need to fire my agent,” she said to herself.
How about a story on Radio 1's new chart show host and former T4 host Jameela Jamil
ReplyDeleteMCPridz
This makes for a very humiliating scenario and you handled it really well. The final line about firing her agent really helped to wrap it up and keep it essentially comedic. I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteLove the disgusting substances and humiliating scenario!
ReplyDelete