Avril Lavigne Girlfriend/ What the Hell
Avril Lavigne had a huge hit around the globe with her
single “Girlfriend”. In the video for the song, Avril played two roles, one as
a punk rocker type of girl and one as a dorky girl. The guy in the video was
dating the dorky girl, but the other character was doing things to make her
look foolish in an attempt to steal her boyfriend away from her. This story is
based on the video, taking the concept to another level.
This time it was a celebrity dating show. There was a couple
on each show. There was also a celebrity. The two ladies would vie for the
attention of the guy throughout the show. At the end of the show, the guy would
get to make the choice between sticking with his girlfriend or choosing to date
the celebrity. The lady that he did not choose would end up getting covered in
sloppy mess. The guy was sat in the centre. The two ladies were sat on either
side of him with a gunge tank over their heads. It looked a bit like
splatterjack except that there was no pumping mechanism. The tanks were pods
that were almost directly over each lady’s head. The guy also had two large
buzzers positioned on either side of him. At the end of the show, he would get
to push one for the lady that he was not choosing.
In this case, the guy’s girlfriend was a lot like the girl
in the video. She was a bit nerdy. She wore glasses and was a bit awkward. She
looked very nervous indeed. She looked different than the video though. She was
not just Avril in glasses. The show started with everyone sat in their
positions. The host entered.
“Welcome to the show. This week we have a lovely couple all
the way from Missouri. Let’s meet them, shall we?” He walked over to the
couple. “It’s great to have you here, please introduce yourselves to our
audience.” “I am Matt. I am design specialist and drummer from Missouri and
this is my girlfriend Zelda. We have been together for two years now.” “It’s
great to meet the both of you. Unfortunately, the show may test your
relationship a bit, because we have another lady who is quite interested in you
as well. It is the one and only Avril Lavigne.” Everyone clapped as she was
introduced. She smiled and waved.
“Avril, as you know, the object of the show is for you to
convince the young man in the middle to ditch his current partner and to go out
with you instead.” “Yeah, well, I am pretty confident. I mean, no offence, but
I have a lot more in common with him than she does. I don’t understand what
they see in each other. I am pretty confident that he will be leaving with me
tonight. She will be the one who ends up getting covered in mess.” Zelda looked
very nervous. She was much more shy and quiet and Avril was famous. She was
also aware that her boyfriend was a bit of a fan. She had always been slightly
jealous. She was not sure how this would turn out.
“So, ladies, it is going to be your jobs to convince Matt
that she should be going home with you. I would advise that you do everything
in your power to do just that, because there will be consequences for the
loser.” Avril was dressed just as she had been in the video. She looked very
good. At this time she had blonde hair.
“It is now time to ask some questions to help Matt to make
his decision. Matt you may ask the questions on the cards now.” A lot of people
thought that it was a forgone conclusion that he would pick the rock star, but
things were not as clear cut as they seemed. “So ladies, first question, if I
pick you, how would you like to spend the rest of the evening?” Zelda answered
first,” Well, we would have a nice romantic dinner and then go and take the dog
for a walk,” she said. It was then Avril’s turn,” Well, I’ve got a nice hotel
room nearby. I don’t have a dog there, but things might end up getting doggy
style tonight.” Zelda rolled her eyes and looked at Avril in disbelief. “What a
slut,” she thought. “Of course, Avril was not really serious about what she was
saying. She was just doing everything she could to put temptation in Matt’s
way, because she wanted to win. Her naughty claims may or may not have been a
true reflection. Although, she certainly thought he was hot. Avril was not a
slut, but that was just how these games were played. It was more about trying
to make Zelda appear to be as boring as possible. The audience whistled and
Matt raised his eyebrows when she gave her answer. She was trying to be as
flirty as she possibly could be.
Matt then asked another question. “Ladies what is one thing
that you think a relationship can offer a man like myself?” Zelda answered,”
Love and affection, trust and understanding.” Avril thought about it. “Absolute
pleasure,” she replied, winking and flicking her eyelashes and eyebrows.
He then asked another question. “What is one thing that you
can offer?” “Someone is who is real and who you can trust and get on with,”
Zelda replied. Avril then responded,” Anything you want baby.”
“Ok,” the host said,” I think that we have heard more than
enough for Matt here to make his decision. This is going to be a tough one.
Your loving partner or an internationally famous pop star,” he said this kind
of sarcastically, because he just assumed that everyone would pick the
celebrity. Matt was quite astute though. He knew that there was more to life
than just one night and he was thinking about the future. Avril was allowed to
sing her song before he made his decision. While she sang it, she made faces
and pointed at Zelda during relevant parts of the song. For example, she
pointed at her when she sang,” I don’t like your girlfriend.” She bowed when
she finished and returned to her seat.
“That was very nice. It is time for your decision, Matt. One
of the ladies will get the dream date with you and the other will get, well,
dumped, literally. It is now time for the moment of truth.” Zelda looked quite
sad. She knew Avril was charismatic and sexy. She thought that she did not have
a hope. It was now time for his answer.
“Well, I am very flattered that such a big star would be so
interested in me, but I have a nice relationship with my girlfriend. I don’t
want to ruin it for one night of fun. Though, it would be the night of a lifetime,
I have to think beyond that. I am choosing Zelda. I’m so sorry Avril.” Avril
looked completely shocked. Her eyes widened. She never for a moment thought
that she might not be chosen. “What the hell? I can’t believe this. You must be
crazy,” she exclaimed.
“Well, it is not the outcome we envisioned, but the choice
was yours. Now you have to finish the job by pressing that button and
officially dumping Avril. And I do mean dump, as the gunge above her will be
dumped all over her when you press it.” Avril glared at him. “I’m so sorry,” he
said as he pressed the big red button down.
Avril shouted, “No, you bas…”, as the gunge began to dump
all over her. There were huge letter on the screen and a repeating voice that
said dumped, dumped, dumped over and over again. She gritted her teeth and
closed her eyes as the gunge was dumped over her head and then all over body.
Her wrists were strapped in and she gripped the arms of the chair. The gunge
went all over her white t-shirt, all over her blue plaid skirt, on her knee
socks and all over her fishnets. Her body was dripping in green and blue gunge.
She closed her eyes as her face was covered. Avril sat dripping in gunge.
Zelda and Matt could not help but laugh at the humiliation
that Avril was experiencing. They cuddled and held hands and kissed a little.
Avril shook her head in disgust and anger. The happy couple waved as they
exited, while Avril was left wallow in the mess. She was eventually was led to
the outhouse that was in the video to try and clean up a bit.
Before that though, she was given the chance to sing another
one of her hit songs “What the hell” while still covered in messy gunge.