Monday, 30 April 2012

Lilith Fair Part One: Fiona Apple

Lilith Fair Part One: Fiona Apple

Lilith Fair became a huge success in the mid nineties. It was a music festival that consisted of all female artists and a mostly female audience. It became very popular and most of the major female acts of the time performed on its stages at one time or another. Over the summers the female artists on the tour got to know one another quite well. One summer in particular, the ladies took to playing pranks on one another. The pranks escalated over the summer to a high level childish silliness. Dares started being made and so on. The whole thing built up to a climax that would reach its zenith at the final show of the summer. Someone came up with the idea of having a vote. The audience at the show would be given the chance to each put in a vote for one of the artists. The three artists that received the most votes would end up getting messed on stage in front of the entire world during the concert. There were over a dozen acts on the show, so everyone was willing to take part. This meant that the chances of ending up messy were lessened. Although some of the acts were at a bit of a disadvantage because they were more well known than some of the others. Some of the acts were pretty confident that they would remain clean.

The members of the audience were all too happy to participate in the voting. Each guest was allowed to vote once when they were admitted to the concert at the gate. The buzz began to grow as the day went on. No one had known when the day began that they would be witnessing this special treat live on the Lilith fair stage. Everyone wanted to see it happen quite badly though. Someone was really going to be getting it good. The artists all began to become more and more nervous about it as the day went on. It was announced that as the acts came out for their performances, it would be announced whether or not they would be one of the unlucky ones getting the mess. They would then receive a messing at the hands of the other artists on the tour.

The excitement began to build throughout the day. About halfway through the show, no one had selected as one of the top three vote getters. One by one they were revealed to be safe. Of course, this made the remaining acts more and more nervous, because they knew that as each act was saved, it meant that their own chances of being messed grew ever more likely. The tension built both backstage and throughout the audience. Who was it going to be? Sean Colvin, Paula Cole and Joan Osbourne were among those already to have been saved. The options were dwindling. The crowd knew that it was going to see some mess in a major way and very soon.

The next act up was Fiona Apple. No one knew how Fiona would react to getting messy, if she was one of the three that was voted to get messy. She was a very naughty and open person in her private life and would be someone who would do some pretty kinky things. On the other hand, she could be quite highly strung at times. She was someone who seemed to take herself very seriously at times. She might be someone who would find getting messy a bit degrading or beneath her in some way.

Finally it was the moment of truth. The lights were lowered and a voice came over the loud speaker. “Ok, everyone, our next act for you tonight is Fiona Apple. We are all looking forward to seeing her perform. The question is are we also going to get to see her get dirty. I am sure that is what we all are looking forward to finding out. Well, it is time to reveal the answer. That answer is yes. Fiona is in the top three,” the voice announced. The crowd thundered with applause.

Little did everyone know, but Fiona had a surprise for everyone. The lights slowly raised and the curtain began to open. When it was fully open the crowd were shocked beyond belief by what they saw. Fiona was sat on a bench. She was totally naked from head to toe. Her legs were spread apart. There was a big red apple between her legs covering her private parts from view. She also held two apples, one in each hand, covering her breasts. None of her most intriguing parts were visible to anyone. She had a microphone head piece. She stated the words,” How do like them apples,” loud and clear. Obviously, it was a play on her last name. She was clearly ready to get dirty. She seemed to embracing what was happening to a great degree.

She sat in place, almost still, making sure that the apples stayed in place. Several of the other Lilith Fair artists now came on stage carrying a large bucket. The bucket, it was explained was full of applesauce. It was keeping to the whole theme of apples. The big screens showed close ups of the applesauce as the ladies carried the bucket over to Fiona. Fiona caught her breath. She looked forward with beautiful big eyes and waited for the girls to dump the applesauce over her. She could only imagine what this was going to feel like. Fiona’s pale white skin and her pale white body was exposed for everyone to see. The bright red apples being the only thing that shielded her from the eyes of the audience. The other ladies were treated to a view of her pale white butt cheeks from behind as they raised the applesauce bucket. They lifted it into the air. Fiona shook her neck backwards, flicking her hair back. She then looked straight forward. She took a deep breath and looked forward as she felt the cold, sloppy applesauce pouring down onto her skinny naked body. It oozed down her front, over her breasts, hands and the apples. It poured down in its sloppy light yellow colour down her thighs. She felt it all over her body, It was quite cold. She cold feel it rolling down her legs. She could feel it on her crotch. She then felt the cold sloppy applesauce being poured right down her back. She closed her eyes and arched her back forward. It was freezing but sort of felt refreshing, in a weird way on a hot summer’s day. She could feel it down the small of her back and then all over her ass. Her body fidgeted slightly. They then moved the bucket again and started dumping the remainder of the applesauce straight down onto Fiona’s head. It slopped down on her face. She moved her head slightly and closed her eyes. She wanted to either laugh or scream, but she did not want anyone to see her reacting this way, so did her best to choke back the laughter. She could not help but think of how sensual the applesauce felt on her body. Part of her was dying to take her hands and massage her slimy tiny breasts or rub her palm between her legs. She felt like rubbing the applesauce all over herself. She resisted the urge for now. Miraculously the apples had not moved very much. This was lucky for Fiona, as the applesauce was slightly translucent. It would not have obscured the audience’s view of her private parts very much. She puckered her lips and resisted the urge to smile and laugh as the rest of the applesauce was dumped down her face. It stuck all over her dark blonde/ brown hair. She mouthed the words, ”This is so embarrassing.” the crowd was awestruck by what they were witnessing.

By this time, the other singers had grabbed another bucket. This one contained tapioca pudding. It was really disgusting and lumpy. The colour of it being a yellowish white. It looked almost frothy is spots, because it was so lumpy. It was about to come Fiona Apple’s way. The ladies trotted over to her with the bucket. She rolled her eyes. She licked her lips and adjusted her face. The ladies came from behind her with the bucket. They approached slowly and gently tipped the bucket over, sending the tapioca out over the side. It fell threw the air and landed on Fiona’s head. The thick white slop poured down her forehead and glopped down the front of her face. It was so much more thick and smooth than the applesauce was. It poured down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and shook her head as tapioca poured down the front of her face, down her nose and soon covered her entire face. It plummeted down her hair. She tried her best not to laugh as the tapioca continued to pour down over her face. She took her hands and wiped her forehead, momentarily forgetting the apples in her hands, that she was still holding. By this time, it did not matter much, because tapioca was pouring down her breasts, down her stomach and chest. Her shape was visible but her nipples and private parts were now barely visible through the layers of mess. The tapioca poured down her body and down into her crotch. Her trimmed pubic hair was now matted in sloppy tapioca. It had been a line of brown against her pale skin. That whole region of her sexy body was now plastered in leftover tapioca pudding. More poured down her thighs. She felt it sloppy all over her bare skin. It was white and thick with enormous lumps. She could not deny that the feeling of having this sloppy mess against her naked body felt incredible. She closed her eyes and quietly moaned to herself. She could feel the tapioca down her back. She could feel it running down the small of her back and pouring onto her naked ass. She could feel it squelching between her butt cheeks. The mess coated her sexy rear end. Fiona bounced up and down slightly in place. She could also feel the pudding pressed against her pussy lips. She raised and lowered her legs several times. The apple still stood in its place, but sloppy tapioca rolled down between Fiona’s legs. She could feel it all over private parts. Right now all she wanted to do was place her hands between her legs. She resisted the urge but began rubbing her thighs and breasts. She used the guise that she was wiping some of the mess off. In reality she was enjoying rubbing the tapioca around on her naked skin. No one was more shocked than she was by how much she was actually enjoying this. She was getting very turned on by the whole situation. It was plain to see from the cheeky grin on her face.

By this times the ladies had already collected the next bucket. This bucket was filled with coleslaw. Across the large video monitors the words,” Fiona, want slaw with that” were printed. Fiona saw what was printed and she could no longer stop herself from laughing. She let out a giggle, as much as she did not want to. The other artists stood behind her and raised the bucket of coleslaw above her. They slowly tipped the bucket over. The disgusting and foul smelling coleslaw slithered its way out of the bucket. An enormous blob of it fell from the air and landed on her head. It stuck in place as if it were some kind of bizarre coleslaw hat. The slimy cabbage and carrot filled coleslaw coated in slimy white liquid stuck to her head. More poured down onto Fiona’s face. Fiona was getting the full coleslaw experience. She was experiencing total immersion in the disgusting creamy slop. Coleslaw filled her nose and mouth. The smell and the taste at this moment were not something that she was going to be able to easily forget. The smell of the coleslaw was pungent. It could be smelled three rows back into the audience. Fiona stuck her tongue out and let some of the coleslaw role from her mouth. She opened her mouth wide and stuck her tongue out, almost as if she were about to gag. More plummeted down onto her body. She pulled her legs up and sat crossed legged. Coleslaw poured down onto her legs and her crotch. Another huge lump of the slop poured onto her thighs. She could feel the coleslaw collecting between her legs and in the backs of her knees. She then put her hands out as more coleslaw was dumped on her. Some of it fell onto her hands. She took her hands and rubbed the coleslaw on her arms and on her arm pits. Her body was covered in piles of the nasty coleslaw.

The ladies then went back stage and emerged seconds later with the last bucket. The bucket was filled with gravy. The gravy was exactly the same colour as Fiona’s hair. Fiona raised her shoulders and stuck her head out, arching her back. The ladies walked behind her and began to pour the gravy over Fiona. They poured it straight down over the top of her head. It poured down the sides of her hair. Gravy poured on her cheeks and dripped from her nose and hair. They then poured more gravy down Fiona’s pale white back. The brown liquid dripped straight down her back and downwards onto her thin pale backside. Gravity took the gravy down Fiona’s breasts. Gravy dripped from her nipples. Tiny as they were, her breasts were looked gorgeous, especially covered in gravy. The brown liquid poured irregularly down Fiona’s thin, pale white skin. Patches of her body were now covered in the gravy. She then rolled over onto her back and let the women pour the gravy up and down her body. Her hands covered her breasts and private parts. One knee was bent as the women slowly poured the stream of gravy up and down Fiona Apple’s body. She closed her eyes and took in the moment of how her body felt.

The women were now done. They waived and walked backstage. Fiona sat up and gave a wry smile. She brushed off some of the mess and then played a few songs. Everyone had really enjoyed what they had just seen and that was the first only the first messing of the evening. There were still two more yet to come. How could they possibly top this one?

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Friday, 27 April 2012

Stwnsh ar y ffordd episode 2

Stwnsh ar y Ffordd is back. There was a very good scene yesterday. Well, I enjoyed it anyway. Below are some hilights. I will load the whole gallery soon to Tellygunge.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Julia Roberts out of her hands

Julia Roberts out of her hands

Julia Roberts had been someone who had evaded getting messy for a long time. She had appeared on shows and been put up for messy votes in the past, but had always somehow managed to escape clean. This is something that a lot of people wanted to see corrected. She had a pretty good sense of humour and did not take herself to seriously. Perhaps that is why she kept agreeing to take part in these shows. On the other hand, it also may have had something to do the fact that deep inside of her she had a secret curiosity about what getting messy was like. She would never admit this to anyone. She barely would even admit it to herself.

Once again, Julia agreed to appear another game show. It was different from the other shows that she had been on in Its format. The way the show worked was that contestants were selected from the audience to compete in challenges. The contestant would be representing a celebrity. If the contestant lost the challenge, their celebrity would be paying the consequences in the form of a messy forfeit. Julia’s fate would be in the hands of a total stranger. What would happen to her would completely depend upon how the contestant performed in the challenge. All she could do was root for them.

Julia was sat in her seat in a sort of tank. Her hair was back in a ponytail. She wore a pair of trousers and a beige top. She smiled with her famous smile. The host came in and walked up to Julia. “So, Julia Roberts has been nice enough to come here and put her fate in the hands of one of our contestants. One question, that is on everyone’s mind Julia. Are you nuts?” Everyone laughed. Julia laughed as well. “ I think maybe I am,” she laughed,” What am I thinking? What am I doing here? I am going to get nailed aren’t I? This is not going to go well for me. I just have to pray that the contestant does well on saves me. Otherwise I am in big trouble, I think,” she said,” Total embarrassment may very well be In my future.”

“How the game works is simple. We are going to select a partner for you from the crowd. They will compete in a game. If they win the game they will win a prize and you will stay clean. If they lose the game, you will be paying the consequences. Your fate will be in this person’s hand. I think that it is only fair that you help us chose your partner. Can everyone who wants to take part raise their hand.” Half of the audience member’s hands shot up. Some were desperately trying to get the attention of the host and Julia by shaking their arms and standing up. “Hmmm, who do you think Julia?,” the host asked. Julia looked around the audience. She thought it over. Julia looked around and then pointed to a young man. He was slightly younger than she was. He was someone that she would have possibly found attractive. “I think I will have him,” she said pointing to him. He stood up and headed down with a big smile on his face. He came down to the host. “Hello,” the host said,” Let me to introduce you to Julia Roberts.” He came over and they shook hands. Little did Julia know that the person that she had chosen had always found her attractive. The idea of seeing her covered in mess was something that he would find very attractive. There was every chance that he might lose this challenge on purpose. Julia was going to have to pray that he did well in this challenge.

“You had better not lose,” Julia joked. “I will do my best,” the contestant said. “Ok then, shall we see what your game is?,” the host asked. “Sure,” the contestant replied. Everyone cheered as the curtain was opened on the far side of the set revealing the equipment for the game. It was a giant, oversized basketball hoop with an oversized basketball. “Ok,” the host said,” The game is simple. You will have to take shots with the basketball. You will have one minute. The challenge is that you have to make four shots in that one minute in order to win. Does that sound fair?” “Yeah, I am up for that,” the contestant replied. It seemed like a tall order. It looked easy enough, but it was much more difficult than shooting with a regular sized basketball. “Ok, now get into position. I will let you know when your time begins,” the host said. The contestant walked over to the basketball and placed his hand on it, steadying it in place. “Ok then, if everyone is ready, your time will begin……,” the host said.

The contestant picked up the ball and took a shot. He missed badly. The ball fell way short of the hoop. He had been thinking of losing on purpose, but he would not have to, because this game was much more difficult than he had expected. It was very difficult to get the large ball to do what you wanted it to. He grabbed the ball again and moved it backwards so he could take another shot. This time the ball went further up into the air, but still did not make it to the top of the rim. It fell to the ground and rolled away a bit. Julia cheered for him, urging him on. She shouted,” Come on. You can do it. Oh please. You have to make it this time.” He went after the ball and rolled it back so he could take another shot. He pushed it up, but it only went straight in the air, when it came downwards, he hit it again, as though it were a volleyball. This just made it bounce the other way completely. By this time the time was really ticking down. Julia began to panic. She knew that she was sunk. There was no way he was going to make four shots. He would be lucky to make even one at this rate. She continued to cheer. “Come on, come on,” she urged him. He chased the ball down and moved it along so he could take another shot. This time he managed to get it up correctly. It went up in the air and rolled in. Julia cheered. He finally made one. Unfortunately for her there was now only ten seconds left. She began to call out. “Come on, quicker, please. The time is running out.” Meanwhile, the audience began counting out,” Ten…nine…eight,” and so on. When they reached one, a buzzer went off. The contestant rushed a shot and badly misfired. As the time expired, Julia began to blush. She shook her head and laughed. She knew that the contestant had failed miserably. She also knew what this would mean for her.

The host came back in and joined the contestant. “Well, not that easy was it?,” he asked. “Well, no,” the contestant responded. “You didn’t get four shots in did you?” “Um, no. Not at all.” “You know what that means?” “Yeah, sorry Julia. I tried my best,” he said, looking at Julia. She looked at him and shook her head, laughing in embarrassment. “You lost!,” she exclaimed. He shrugged his shoulders. She covered her face with her hand. She turned bright red. “Now, Julia, he did not win the challenge. He tried very hard, but it just did not happen. Now, you know what that means for you?,” the host said. “Yeah, I get the punishment. This is so unfair. I am in deep trouble now I can tell,” she responded. “Well yes, I guess you could say that. You will be the one who will be paying the price.” “You, being a gentlemen, wouldn’t do this to a nice girl like me would you?,” she joked. “Um, yeah,” the contestant said, laughing,” I definitely would.” Julia busted out laughing. When she stopped, she wiped her eyes. “Well, there you have it,” she said. “I think that I am in deep trouble now,” Julia said, shrugging her shoulders. “This is going to be so embarrassing,” she said, blushing bright red.

She didn’t even know what they had planned for her yet. She knew that she could not escape this time though. “So Julia Roberts, the challenge was lost. Are you ready for what is about to happen?,” the host asked. “As ready as I’ll ever be I guess. Please, Don’t do this,” she joked,” This isn’t fair. He lost not me.” ”Sorry, Julia, that is how the game works,” the host replied,” Now it is time to pay the price. Who wants to see Julia Roberts get messy?,” he asked. The audience cheered their approval. “Thanks a lot,” Julia joked. “Our contestant here is going to get the sad duty of carrying out our punishment for today,” the host said sarcastically. Obviously, it would be no chore, but something that was going to be very enjoyable for him. “Are you up for that?,” he asked. The contestant shrugged his shoulders. “A man’s got to do, what a man’s got to do,” he replied jokingly. Julia rolled her eyes. “A chore, my ass. You all are loving this,” Julia said. “Oh no, never, it is just my sad duty,” the contestant replied.

“Well, I think it is time we got our show on the road. I think we should start with a nice chocolate cream pie,” The host said. Julia’s eyes widened. “Oh my God,” she said. The pie was produced from seemingly out of nowhere. It was huge, overflowing with pie filling, wiped cream and decorated with shaved chocolate. It was a real pie complete with graham cracker crust. The audience whistled and cheered. The pie was handed to the contestant and he walked slowly in Julia’s direction carrying it with both hands. “I never thought that I would ever end up being pied. Please don’t do this,” she said with a laugh. “Sorry,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Julia Roberts is about to have a little more pie in her life,” the host said. The contestant came closer and closer with the pie. Julia closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact about to hit her. She waived her arms around as he inched ever closer. She begged him not to do this. “No, no please,” she said as he walked towards her. She looked down at the pie and screamed as he raised it up and smashed it straight into her face. He thrust the pie in. It covered her entire face instantly. He held it in place, twisting it around. He held it in place for a moment, before finally letting go. It ran through his mind,” I am pieing Julia Roberts right now.” He relished pushing the pie in to the celebrity’s face. He stepped back, allowing the pie tin to fall. The crust crumbled down Julia’s face and neck, down to her shirt. The dark brown and white of the pie covered her face in a creamy mountain of mess. Her massive smile seemed to be the only part of her face not covered in mess. Her teeth were the only thing visible in the mess. She laughed and wiped some of the mess from her forehead and her eyes. Her distinctive face was now covered in globs of brown and white sloppy pie. She licked her lips. Her hands were covered with pie. “It tastes pretty good, actually. It matches my hair,” she joked. “Julia Roberts has been pied!,” the host announced. The crowd erupted into a flurry of cheers.

“And that is not all,” the host said,” Unfortunately for you Julia, we have much more to come,” the host said. “Oh crap,” Julia said. She laughed, but wondered what else they could possibly have in store for her. “Well, next we have this lovely item,” the host said. A silver, medium sized object was produced and shown for everyone to see. “This, my friends is a gravy boat and it is filled with tons of delicious gravy. It is all for you Julia, specially made for you.” “ Oh thanks, gravy, just what I always wanted,” she said sarcastically. The contestant was handed the gravy boat. The host motioned to him that he should proceed. He walked up to Julia and then went around behind her. She screamed, her mouth open wide, shaking her head as she felt him behind her raising the gravy boat in order to begin pouring it. Her body lurched forward as the gravy began to pour. The first bit hit Julia on the back of her neck. It felt cold and slimy on her neck. It was dark brown and very sloppy. The contestant moved the gravy boast slightly, pouring the sloppy gravy down over Julia’s head. She closed her eyes as the gravy cupped around her head, covering the top of her head and pouring down the side of her face. It tipped down her nose and down the sides of her cheeks. Her lips and chin dripped with the deep brown gravy. The smell of gravy wafting off of her. The contestant happily poured the gravy down over the Julia Roberts. The audience laughing hysterically as they watched Julia Roberts having gravy poured over her head. It rolled down her neck and chest. It now dominated her shirt and fell down her body. Her tanned skin slopped with brown gravy. He took his time covering the gorgeous actress in the gravy. It poured down into her lap and all over her legs. Gravy dripped everywhere. There was enough gravy left over that he was able to move the gravy boat back and forth over Julia’s body, leaving a trail of thick slimy gravy as he went all over her body. It was thick and smooth. Julia’s expensive, light coloured clothes were totally overwhelmed by the onslaught of gravy. She looked as though she had fallen into a mud puddle or worse. Her face plastered in the gravy. Everything took on a decidedly brown feel. Julia bit her lip. She lifted her hands to her face and wiped some of the gravy away from her eyes. She laughed and pointed at the contestant. “It smells as bad as it looks,” she said. Julia Roberts was now covered and wet in thick brown gravy.

Julia could not imagine what would come next. She had certainly never expected to have gravy poured on her head. “Next, we have a nice pot of vegetable soup all ready, homemade just for you Julia,” the host said. “Oh yummy,” she replied,” I just love vegetable soup,” she said, gravy still dripping down her face. Her smile and her white teeth being about the only part of her not covered in brown mess already. The pot was produced and shown to everyone. Julia was able to look down and see the contents. “You are not really going to pour that on my head are you?,” she said. The contestant looked at her. He nodded his head but did not say anything. “ I can’t believe this,” she said. He took the oversized pot and carried it behind her. It was filled with green beans, sweet corn, peas, carrots, potatoes, lima beans and various other types of vegetables. They looked disgusting floating around in a brownish, grey thick liquid. Her eyes widened and her head darted around as she felt him lift the pot in the air. Her shoulders and face tensed up. Julia squealed as the young man hoisted the pot and tipped it over. The thick concoction of vegetables in the tick soupy mess inched its way from the pot. It oozed out over the rim a plummeted from the sky down onto Julia’s head. The first giant mass of thick vegetables fell from the pot and landed on the top of her head. A mass of twisted vegetables in brown thick broth stuck to her head. More fell out and fell down her face. A large green bean stuck from below Julia’s eye down her nose. Blobs of the brown slop rolled down her face. More dumped out of the sides down onto her body. Globs of vegetables and potatoes gathered in her lap. A large mass of the mess stuck to her sexy neck. Julia screamed as her beautiful face was covered in foul smelling soup. It looked like vegetables in sludge. It stuck all over her clothes and her body. The light fabric of her shirt was already near collapse from the weight of the mess that covered it. Her slacks were slopped in the mess as well. Peas, carrots and sweet corn covered in brownish grey liquid stuck all over Julia’s sexy face. She was left to deal with the masses of disgusting vegetable soup that dotted her entire body. She could feel it down her neck and inside her clothing. She could feel the weight of the mess on her entire body. She shook her hands and wiggled her feet. Mess dripping everywhere. She wiggled her mouth around and laughed.

The host then brought out one final bucket for Julia. The bucket was filled to the brim with disgusting spaghetti hoops. They were the cheapest of the cheap. You could probably have purchased ten cans of the stuff for one dollar. It was barely edible and totally disgusting. The bucket was handed to the young man. He carried it over and showed it to Julia. Julia looked down at it and recoiled in disgust. She stuck her tongue out as if to say,” Yuck.” The audience laughed at her reaction. She was about to receive a bucket full of spaghetti hoops in a way she never could have dreamed of. The contestant shuffled the bucket over and took his place behind the former Oscar winning actress. He steadied the bucket with both hands and stood behind her waiting for his signal. “Shall we count down, everyone?,” the host asked. They cheered affirmatively. The entire crowd including the man holding the bucket counted down. 3.…2..1. He raised the bucket and tipped it forward, sending the spaghetti hoops in Julia’s direction. Then, with a disgusting plopping sound, the spaghetti hoops dumped from the bucket down through the air and onto Julia’s head. The spaghetti hoops fell in a bunch, landing on Julia’s face. Her forehead and part of her hair were covered with a giant mound of congealed spaghetti hoops in their rancid sauce. The orange and red substance flowed down Julia’s already filthy face. Her hands gripped the fabric of her trousers at her knees. Spaghetti hoops fell down her sexy neck and down her tanned skin. Blobs of the mess toppled down her body irregularly. Torrents of spaghetti hoops made a pattern down the front of her ruined shirt. She moved her legs apart slightly as spaghetti hoops ran down her stomach and down between her legs. A huge blob collected between her legs. The young man then moved the bucket and decorated Julia’s legs in torrents of spaghetti hoops. Mountains of it forming on her lap. The last of the spaghetti hoops now tumbled down Julia’s face. She cringed. She waited for the flow to finally cease before taking her hands and rubbing them up her face. She closed her eyes and arched her neck forward. She opened her mouth and screamed as her hands pushed through the half inch deep mess that covered her beautiful face. She then pushed her hands down and shook them, dropping some of the excess spaghetti hoops all around her. She was totally trashed. The young man took a bow and dropped the bucket. He stepped back and watched her.

“Everyone, let’s give a big round of applause for Julia Roberts,” the host said. Everyone cheered and clapped. The spaghetti clad actress pointed at contestant and laughed. “You did this to me. I hope you are happy,” she said pretending to be angry. She shrugged her shoulders. “Spaghetti, who knew?,” she said. She started to laugh. As the show ended, she smiled and waived as she attempted to wipe some of the collected mess away. After the show, she was going to be faced with issue of getting cleaned up, but that is another story altogether.

Friday, 20 April 2012

Back and Stwnsh

Hi everyone. I have just come back from holiday. It was great but happy to be back now as well. Unfortunatley, the Stwnsh ar y ffordd gunging yesterday was as guy. Which sucks, the woman on it was pretty attractive. Oh well. hoping for next week.
Best regards.----JRG

Saturday, 14 April 2012


Hi Everyone,
Just a note to say that I am going away on holiday for the week. I will be back next weekend. That is why there won't be any posts this week. On another note, Stwnsh ar y Ffordd is back this week with new episodes. I am very excited about it. It is one of my all time favorates. Needless to say you can expect lots of stills from me on these ones.Thanks for all of your support.
Yours Sincerely,

Elin Fflur on Stwnsh

I have posted the Elin Fflur pics from Stwnsh on Tellygunge. It is not the best scene ever. She keeps trying to get away and stuff, but it is ok overall.

I accidentally posted the photos twice on the post I aplogize for that.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Alesha Dixon vs. Jessie J. BGT vs. The Voice

Alesha Dixon vs. Jessie J. BGT vs. The Voice

There was a ratings war going on between Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice for viewers on Saturday nights. The two shows went back and forth in the ratings battle for weeks and things began to get a bit heated between the two shows. Each show had a feisty, young attractive woman on their judging panel. Britain’s Got Talent had Alesha Dixon and the Voice had Jessie J. The two were both fiery and outspoken. The press, being what it is, was making the battle between the shows the number one topic for discussion. They were not above fanning the flames when the opportunity arose as well. It was hard for Alesha and Jessie to avoid being asked questions about the other show. Inevitably, one of them made a meaningless comment while the press were around and, of course, the quote was taken completely out of context and blown totally out of proportion. It was not long before the two were involved in a war of words. No one could even remember how the whole thing started, in the end. It was becoming more and more heated though as the days passed.

The makers of Let Her Have It witnessed what was going on between the two and seized the opportunity. The producers approached the makers of each show, suggesting that Alesha and Jessie appear on Let her Have It. The show would air on a Saturday evening after Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice had ended. The idea was to see which show got the better ratings. The judge from the show that got the higher rating would then get the chance to gunge the other judge. It would be a humiliating loss for the judge and for the show that garnered the lower ratings. Each lady agreed to take part in the end, because they both were confident that their show would win. They also were very eager humiliate the other on national television. The two did not hate each other or anything,. They had never even really met before. However, they both had massive egos and attitude to spare.

That week, both Alesha and Jessie cut promos for the show. One thing was for sure, someone was going to be getting embarrassed big style in front of the whole world. This was going to be as embarrassing as it could get. The winner was not going to take any mercy on the loser either. On top of that, all of the other judges would be there watching. They were representing their whole show, not just themselves. What was worse, was that it was all completely out of their own hands. It would be the viewers who would be determining the outcome. Although Jessie and Alesha were a part of the reason why people watched their shows, they were not even the main reason. The promos aired during the week leading up to the big Saturday. The promos were simple. They were shot from the neck up. In the promos, each judge put their case forward for why people should watch their show and why they should avoid the mess.

Alesha’s promo went like this. “Hi, I’m Alesha Dixon. I’m one of the judges on Britain’s Got Talent. We have a great show lined up for you this week, guys. Please tune in. I will be appearing on Let Her Have It on Saturday. If you don’t watch the show, I will end up getting gunged. So please save me. Let’s get Jessie J gunged instead. It will be so much better. She is very mouthy. She really deserves it a lot more than I do. So, please watch Britain’s Got Talent. Save me please.” Jessie’s promo, on the other hand went like this. “Hi guys. I’m Jessie J from the Voice. I am here to ask you to tune in to the Voice this weekend. The more of you who watch the better. And your reward, getting to see me gunge Alesha Dixon. You guys no you want to see me gunge that little cow. I am going to love it. Alesha Dixon covered in mess. I want to see it and I know all of you watching at home want to see it. I promise to make it extra messy for her. So go on, watch the Voice this Saturday.” Jessie smiled and gave a thumbs up.

It was a nerve racking week for the two women. Britain’s Got Talent seemed as though it was the more popular show, but the Voice was brand new. People might tune in at first just to see what it was all about. The initial ratings might be much higher than on a normal week. The stakes were very high this time for these two. All week Alesha got teased about the possibility of getting messed up. It began to really get on her nerves after awhile. When Jessie was asked about it, she seemed as cool as a cucumber. “I am going to win. Don’t worry about that. It won’t be me getting messy. Alesha Dixon is in for a very sloppy evening.” Privately, Jessie did not mind that much if she lost. It she was on the losing end, she would still play things cool and act as if she did not mind at all. She would act like getting gunged was no big deal.

Finally, both shows aired and the viewing figures were quickly collated. Alesha and Jessie would not find out what the results were until the moment of truth on the show. The ladies both prepared themselves back stage. Jessie wore a pair of tight black hotpants, a pair of black boots and a black and white shirt with print on it and shiny, leather and glittery bits on the sides. Alesha wore her hair back in a ponytail and low cut, very short yellow dress. She was always fond of showing a lot of leg for some reason. She was now becoming a bit nervous. She was imagining how embarrassing this would be if her show did not get the higher viewing figures. She felt that her show was better and would get the most viewers, but nothing was assured. There was a chance, no matter how small, that she would be on the losing end. She made herself think positively though. She imagined what it would be like to gunge Jessie J and to shut her mouth once and for all.

The show started, as usual, with Mr. G. entering the studio. The studio was decorated half in the style of Britain’s Got Talent and half in the style of the voice. It looked as though half of the stage was directly from each show. In the centre there were two chairs. They were the judges’ chairs from Britain’s Got Talent and from the Voice. The interest in this episode was keen, because it was so topical. The two shows had just aired an hour previously and now there was going to be consequences as a result. All of the other judges from both shows were sat in the front rows of the audience on either side of the seating in order to witness what was about to happen. Mr. G. began to speak,” Thank you everyone and welcome to Let Her Have It. As you may or may not know, today is a very special day. There has been a ratings battle going on on Saturday nights between Britain’s Got Talent and the Voice. There has been a verbal battle as well between the judges. Well, that is all going to be settles once and for all tonight, in our forum. The two shows aired earlier tonight. The ratings are now in. On our show tonight we have a judge representing each show with us. They have agreed that whoever’s show got the lowest rating is going to be getting messy, right here tonight. It is going to be an embarrassing evening for someone tonight. So, can we please welcome, from the Voice, Jessie J and from Britain’s Got Talent, Alesha Dixon.”

The two entered from opposite sides of the stage as a music from both of their shows was played. Jessie walked in, dancing as she walked, pushing her hands to the sky and raising the roof. Alesha smiled and waived. She pointed at someone and laughed. They both entered the studio, shook Mr. G,’s hand and sat in their respective judging chairs side by side. They each crossed their legs as they sat down. They reached over and shook each other’s hand. They wished each other good luck. “So ladies, you two are very brave. Your fate is completely out of your own hands. All you can do now is pray that more people tuned in to your show earlier tonight What’s going through your mind right now, at a time like this?,” he asked. “How much fun it is going to be to totally slop her up,” Jessie said confidently,” I can’t wait.” “What about you Alesha?” “Well, like you said, I am just hoping and praying that we got the figures. I really do not want to be on the losing end tonight, for obvious reasons,” she said with a laugh. “Well one thing is for sure. It is going to get very, very messy. These two are dying to take home the bragging rights for their shows and to totally mess the other one. Frankly, I hope it was a tie,” he joked.

“Well, I think that we should get on and read our results. The tension in the studio tonight is palpable. Someone is about to get very, very messy, but who will it be?” “Yah, bring it on. Let’s get messy,” Jessie shouted. “Oh God,” Alesha said, “Maybe we should postpone this. With the economic crisis and all, I think wasting food like this is irresponsible,” she joked. “For the record all the food we use here, is no longer edible. It would just be thrown out anyway, if we didn’t use it, so there are no excuses.” “Damn,” she said. She motioned with her hands,” It was worth a try.” She gave out her famous high pitched laugh. “Well, I think we should get to our results. We have all been waiting for this moment. I think it is time to press record on your home video equipment. This is going to be a Kodak moment.” The lights were lowered and a hush came over the studio. Alesha lowered her head, closed her eyes and crossed her fingers. Jessie scrunched up her nose and gave a slightly pained look of anticipation. “Ok then, here we go. I can now reveal that Britain’s Got Talent got 7.6 million viewers. On the other hand the Voice had….” Alesha and Jessie stomped their feet in anticipation and Mr. G. paused in order to build the tension more and more. “9.6 million viewers.” Alesha’s mouth fell open in a sort of combination laugh and scream. Her eyes widened and she put her hands over her mouth in shock. Jessie, meanwhile, was moving her hands around in celebratory dance. She pointed and laughed at Alesha, leaning over. “Ha ha, in your face,” she said. “Yeah,” Alesha said,” Quite literally from the sound of it. She laughed hysterically with her famous, uncontrollable cackle of a laugh. “Gonna pour it all over you,” Jessie said in a joking voice. Alesha cracked up with laughter. “Oh god, this is terrible. How embarrassing ,” she said. “So Alesha, you’re show did not win did it?,” Mr. G. said. “No, it did not,” she replied. “You know what that means. For you?,” he said, putting his arm on the top of her chair. “Yes, I know what that means. I can’t believe this. How could we lose. I suppose I have to pay the consequences now do I?,” she said. “You’re gonna get dirty,” Jessie chimed in. Alesha just looked at her and shook her head.

“Ok Jessie, can I ask you to come with me,” Mr. G. said,” Alesha, can you please stay where you are. We will be getting back to you in just a moment.” Jessie stood up and followed him over to the side of the set, dancing along the whole way as she walked. Of course, the reason that Jessie was asked over was because the buckets and containers of mess were all over there that she would be using on Alesha. Jessie cackled evilly as she saw what she was about to pour over Alesha Dixon’s head. “This is going to be fun,” she said, smiling wickedly into the camera. Alesha arched her back to see what was going on. Alesha blushed, shook her head and screamed, “No,” at the top of her lungs. She then laughed. “You’d better be gentle,” Alesha joked, pointing her index finger at Jessie. Jessie teased back,” Oh don’t worry babe, I will be very gentle indeed,” she said in sexy, but cheeky voice. Jessie started singing, “I’m gonna gunge Alesha Dixon, I’m gonna gunge Alesha Dixon.” She danced around. Alesha shook her head and buried it in her hands. “Please,” she yelled.

Jessie J selected her first bucket and sauntered over to Alesha Dixon. “Time to get sloppy,” she said. She wiggled her eyebrows and laughed. “Oh no, Jessie, please don’t do this. I am sure we can come to some arrangement,” Alesha begged. The bucket that Jessie grabbed was full of oreo milkshake. It was filled with freezing could ice cream and milk mixed with mashed up oreo cookies. The shake was a greyish sort of colour and filled with chunky brown bits. Jessie approached Alesha with the bucket. She puckered her lips and made a fake sad face. Alesha pointed at her and laughed. “You are such a cow,” she said. Jessie took the bucket and walked behind Alesha. She placed her hand on her hip and posed with the bucket provocatively. She then lifted the bucket in the airy. The double thick shake began to pour out of the bucket, doubling over itself as it fell. When the first bit of the freezing cold milkshake hit Alesha on her face, the look on her face looked as if she had received an electric shock. Her eyes bugged out of her head and her mouth fell open. She almost jumped out of her seat. She screamed instinctively because of how cold the shake was against her skin. It poured onto the top of her head in waves of thick whitish grey mess dotted with brown spots. It slithered down over the front of Alesha’s face and down her nose. It fell in a circular pool on the top of her jet black hair before pouring down the sides of her hair. Her scream was soon replaced by Alesha’s thunderous laughter. She stomped her feet and screwed up her mouth. She placed her fingers to her nose and eyes, wiping some of the milkshake from them, as the mess continued to pour down on her. It began to plop down on her shoulders and down into her top and cleavage. She laughed and looked around as the milkshake still was being poured over her by Jessie J. It showed no signs of ceasing. The beautiful talent show host was now coated in thick, freezing cold mess. It was nearly as thick as oatmeal. She ran her hands over her messy arms. She shook her head in disbelief. Bits of oreo speckled her all over. Her dress was already nearly overwhelmed by the mess that covered it. A blob of thick ice cream dripped from Alesha’s nose. Another fell from her upper lip. “It is freezing, ugh,” she squealed. She was already covered in mess from head to toe and it was only bucket number one. Alesha’s face dripped with messy milkshake.

In the meantime, Jessie J danced over to the other messy buckets and selected one. The bucket contained an enormous amount of banana puree. Jessie picked it up and quipped, “This will have Alesha going bananas.” The puree was incredibly thick and contained tons of banana slices. As Jessie carried the bucket over to Alesha, she noticed that there were several huge banana chunks inside of it, floating on the top. She placed the bucket down and, with her hands pulled them out. They were about the size of a half of a banana each. She pulled them out and pushed them into Alesha’s face. When Alesha opened her mouth to laugh, Jessie pushed the bananas into her mouth. For a second the bananas hung from Alesha’s mouth before she gagged and spit them out. They fell down from her mouth and onto her body. As Alesha lurched forward, Jessie had already made her way around behind Alesha and had started to pour the banana puree down onto Alesha. Alesha raised her shoulders as the thick pudding poured down the back of her head. It oozed down the back of her neck and down her back. She caught her breath and closed her eyes as Jessie moved the bucket and poured the puree down onto her head. The puree was thick and yellow, very similar to custard, but with thick banana slices in it. The smell was lovely at least. The puree cupped over Alesha’s head. Yellow pudding mingling with her black hair. Jessie aimed most of it down onto her face though. A curtain of thick pudding poured down over Alesha’s face. Soon her whole head was covered in it. Alesha crossed her arms across herself as more poured down her lovely long neck and over her breasts. It splashed all over her dress. Her dress was now overwhelmed by mess. It clung to Alesha’s body and become almost see through. Alesha could now feel the mess getting everywhere as Jessie poured it over her. She could feel it down her back and over her chest. She could feel it plopping down on her thighs and could feel it seeping in between her legs. Puree made its way onto her knees. She could feel it dripping down her calves down to her ankles, feet and down to her high heels. It seemed to pour for ages. Eventually, the bucket was empty. Alesha was now covered in thick yellow mess. Banana slices stuck all over her body. She, again, took her long fingers and wiped some of the mess from her eyes and face. She joined Jessie and the rest of the audience in laughing at her situation. She arched her back and laughed uncontrollably. All of the judges from both shows were loving what they were seeing, of course. She gave a thumbs up and laughed. She wiggled her behind on her chair, trying to dislodge some of the mess that had collect on the chair beneath her backside. She was soaked in mess from head toe. At least she was keeping her sense of humour about the whole thing. She could not stop herself from laughing, even though she was embarrassed beyond belief.

Jessie walked over and pulled out the next bucket for Alesha. Unfortunately for Alesha, the contents of the bucket made the mess that already covered Alesha look positively pleasant. The bucket was filled with macaroni and cheese. It was incredibly disgusting funny curly shaped pasta in an even more disgusting white cheesy sauce. Jessie carried the bucket over to Alesha and said, in a put on French accent, “Macaroni and cheese” Alesha squealed in laughter her mouth falling open. “Macaroni and cheese?,” she uttered. She screwed up her face,” Seriously?” Jessie shook her head. “Oh yes,” she said. She went around behind Alesha and got ready to pour. Alesha shut her eyes. “Oh….my…..gooooooooooooood!” She squealed as macaroni and cheese was dumped from the bucket and landed on top of her head. Her mouth wide open as the macaroni dumped onto her head. The first bit landed on top of her head and stuck in place. It looked as though she had some sort of bizarre judge’s wig on her head. Macaroni and cheese dangled from the mass on top of her head. Macaroni dangled from her ears and earrings as well as from her nose. Cheese dripped down the sides of her face. More macaroni fell down all over her. Another large glob landed and took residence on the top of Alesha’s dress, on her breasts. More macaroni and cheese fell all around her. It collected in a pile on her lap and on her legs. Alesha shook her arms, letting some of the macaroni fall off. Her head still decorated in the macaroni and cheese.

Jessie wasted little time selecting the next bucket. The bucket was filled with pasta salad. The type that was sold in the chilled foods sections of the larger supermarkets. The stuff was really disgusting it must have been expired for at least a week, because the odour that it was omitting was positively putrid. Jessie took the bucket over to Alesha and let hr have a look. She almost gagged when she smelled the pasta salad. “Pasta salad,” Jessie said, again in the funny accent that she had used earlier. Alesha rolled her eyes. She quickly moved her head forward. Jessie raised the bucket and began to pour. The slimy, spoiled pasta salad rolled in lumps from the edge of the bucket. It fell in drips and drabs down onto Alesha. It made a disgusting plopping sound as it fell all over the already filthy talent show judge. Large hunks of the pasta rolled down Alesha’s face. She talked to herself saying that she could not believe that this was happening as pasta salad slithered its way down her face and body. Instead of a large lump, the pasta salad stuck in small pasta bits all over Alesha. Some stuck to the macaroni and cheese. The foul smelling pasta salad came down straight onto Alesha’s face . Her shoulders and arms dripped with the stuff. “This stuff stinks,” Alesha yelped, slamming her messy hands down onto her lap lightly. Jessie pointed at her and laughed. “Sorry, babes,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Jessie then went over and grabbed the final bucket of the evening. She walked over to Alesha, carrying it. “This one is for the Voice. The Voice rules,” Jessie shouted. She made some hooting noises as she got herself into position. The bucket was filled with real coleslaw. “Coleslaw,” Jessie said, in the same funny accent that she had used before. “Coleslaw?,” Alesha said,” No way. You are not being serious right now,” she uttered. “Oh, but I am,” Jessie said. “No, wait, please,” Alesha said, trying her hardest to protest. “I think she wants slaw with that,” Jessie said. “You know, I never dreamed that I would ever be pouring coleslaw on Alesha Dixon’s head, but I had always really hoped,” Jessie said. She busted out laughing. “I have to say, I never imagined getting coleslaw poured over my head,” Alesha said. “It just never crossed my mind.” Alesha took a deep breath, knowing that she was about to get slawed. Jessie wiggled the bucket around in her hands. When the time was right, she picked it up. Again, she repeated,” This one is for the Voice.” She then hoisted the heavy bucket up into the air and tipped it over. A pile of thick, sloppy, stinky coleslaw tumbled out of the bucket and landed on Alesha’s head. She shook her head, opened her mouth and screamed. Coleslaw covered the top of her head and poured down her face. Little bits of sloppy carrot could be seen slopping down her face. Coleslaw rolled down the front of her body, leaving a trail down her chest and stomach. A large pile of coleslaw piled on her lap. The smell was absolutely atrocious. The feeling of power that Jessie was having was amazing. She had total control, powering coleslaw all over her rival as she saw fit. ” If you ever wanted to see Alesha Dixon covered in coleslaw, this is your lucky day,” Jessie joked. In the meantime, Alesha was experiencing coleslaw in a way that not many people have ever experienced before. The disgusting food was slathered all over her body. She tried to push some away from herself. Everyone was howling in laughter at what they had just witnessed. It did not really get more embarrassing that this. Alesha sat wallowing in the mess. Jessie posed and bowed. She made muscle poses.

Just then the sounds of Alesha’s hit song began to play, the boy does nothing. “Does he wash up, no he doesn’t wash up, does he clean up, he never cleans up does he brush up, he never brushes up. He does nothing the boy does nothing” The words went. They mocked Alesha. Obviously, she was in bad need of a good clean up herself at the moment. When the music started out, she recognised it instantly. She laughed hysterically. The Britain’s Got Talent buzzers went off and the red X’s that were in the studio illuminated. Alesha could do nothing but laugh and wave. She was still covered in the mess that had been poured on her. She had really paid the price on this day.