Sunday, 17 June 2012
Stwnsh ar y ffordd episode 2 clip
Hi everyone,
I have recorded the clips from stwnsh ar y ffordd using my phone. The quality is not the best but I don't want the clips to be lost and am not sure of any other way to record them. The others from this series will follow.
Stwnsh ar y ffordd 2012 episode 8
This week Stwnsh ar y ffordd was back. A female teacher got messed again. She wasn't the best the looking woman in the world, but she was ok. The gunge hits were not the greatest, but still were pretty good anyway. The link to the full gallery is below along with the preview pics.
http://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2012/06/17/stwnsh-ar-y-ffordd-2012-episode-8/
http://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2012/06/17/stwnsh-ar-y-ffordd-2012-episode-8/
Monday, 11 June 2012
Tamaryn Payne Happy birthday
Tamaryn Payne Happy birthday
Tamaryn Payne was a lot like the character that she played on Hollyoaks. She was prim and proper, snooty and somewhat prudish. She also, almost always wore skirts and showed off a lot of leg. She was quite attractive, and received a lot of attention from the young men on the show. She never really responded to any of their advances. Whenever any of them tried to ask her out she would always refuse. This was mainly because she did not want to date anyone that she worked with. From the perspective of the men that she had turned down, however, they viewed her as a stuck up witch. Everyone thought that she felt that she was better than everyone else. She also did not mix well with the other females on set. They were all super gorgeous and the girls were all very competitive with one another. Plus, they all felt she was a stuck up witch as well. Tamaryn did not seem to really care. In fact, she seemed oblivious to the fact that no one really cared for her. She was blissfully unaware that no one liked her very much.
Tamaryn could be moody and stuck up. She was always very particular about her hair and makeup and was frequently late for her scenes. She would constantly hold up shooting and generally annoy everyone. The cast decided that they wanted to get back at her and were going to teach Tamaryn a lesson. It was Tamaryn’s birthday. The cast of the show would usually go out for each cast member’s birthday. It was a sort of tradition. They would usually go to a club or pub for some drinks after taping. Little did Tamaryn know that her colleagues were going to be taken this golden opportunity and going to be really showing her what they really thought of her. Her co stars called up a certain club and made some very special arrangements for Tamaryn on her birthday. They would be taking her to a club that also did shows of various kinds. The entertainer, who would be on stage, was going to pretend to be a magician. He was then going to ask if it was anyone’s birthday. The Hollyoaks cast would then point to Tamaryn. She would be forced to go up on stage and then the fun would really begin. To be honest, this was going to be the only way that the cast would be able to stand being around Tamaryn for that length of time. The guys who had asked her out were attracted to her due to her looks alone. Her famous legs were the main allure. They did not ask her out for her personality. None of them would have really wanted to put up with her as a girlfriend. To call her high maintenance would be an understatement.
The cast had planned to do this for some time. They were all incredibly excited about what was going to happen. They were going to totally trash Tamaryn. They were going to love every minute of it. She had no idea that it was going to happen. She knew that they would be taking her out to the club, but that was all she knew about what was going to happen. When she went into work that morning, she had no idea that she would be ending the evening covered in mess. She was not going to be happy with what was going to happen. Everyone expected a hissy fit They did not care though. She deserved what she was going to get, in their eyes. Tamaryn was seen as quite posh. She sometimes tried to like the other actors, but it never really worked. She would have thought that something like this would have been totally beneath her. Even messy television shows, she would have seen as low brow.
Tamaryn joined her colleagues as they all gathered to head out to the club for her birthday. She wore an expensive looking two toned dress that was white on the top and beige at the bottom. Again, it was very short, showing off her long tanned legs. Everyone saw her as a bit of a tease. She used to dress that way, but had never even had a boyfriend during her time on the show. She did not see anything sexy in the way that she dressed. She felt that she was quite conservative. She had no idea of the way that the men lusted over her luscious long legs. She accompanied her colleagues to the club that evening. Everyone pretended that everything was normal. Everyone got a drink and toasted to Tamaryn and her Birthday. Tamaryn sipped a glass of expensive wine. Soon the lights were lowered and the magician was announced. He walked on stage to the applause of the crowd. Little did Tamaryn know what was about to happen to her.
The magician introduced himself. Tamaryn was thinking to herself that she hated magic and how juvenile it was. “Ok,” the magician said,” For my first trick, I will need a volunteer to assist me. Is there any birthday girls in the audience tonight?,” he asked. Tamaryn gave a deep gulp. She lowered her eyes and put her hand to her forehead, hoping that he would not find out that it was her birthday. Her colleagues pointed at her, shouted and waived. She blushed red with embarrassment, still hoping that there was a chance that he would go to someone else. Unfortunately for her, he walked straight up to her. He pointed at her. “You over there, the birthday girl, don’t be shy join me up on stage.” She shook her hands, worry flashed across her face. Her protests were overshadowed and ignored. Someone took her glass of wine as the others pulled her to her feet. They encouraged her pushing her towards the stage. Everyone else cheered. Tamaryn was forced to walk up on stage with her eyes on her shoes. She finally made it up on stage. The group from Hollyoaks cheered and laughed for her. She glared at them. The anger on her face was plain to see.
The magician began to speak to her. “Welcome to the show young lady, are you having a good night?,” he asked. “Yes, thank you. Its been fine,” she said, struggling to be polite and to hold back her annoyance. “Young lady, what is your name and occupation?,” he asked. “I am Tamaryn and I am an actress,” she said. “Eww an actress, how fancy. Well happy birthday Tamaryn. Now, you were selected to come up on stage to take part in a trick with me, if that is ok,” he said. He moved the microphone to her mouth, but moved it away again as soon as she started to speak. “ The trick involves a special apparatus. Can we bring it out please.” The audience cheered as something, underneath a sheet was wheeled out on stage. What was it, Tamaryn wondered. “I she going to saw me in half or what,” she thought. Her fellow Hollyoaks stars were pointing and laughing, because they knew what was under the sheet.
The magician walked up to the contraption and pulled the sheet off with panache. The crowd applauded as a pillory was revealed. Tamaryn’s eyes widened. She blushed an even deeper shade of red. She began to sweat now. There was a huge lumped in her throat. She let out a deep gulp. “Ok Tamaryn, will you come with me please.” “I’d rather not,” she said with some trepidation. “Oh come on don’t be shy, it won’t hurt I promise.” The audience jeered her, urging her to comply. She rolled her eyes and followed him to the back of the stocks. He raised the top bar of it and showed her how to get in. She was still very reluctant to do this, but she was being left with little choice. The audience cheered as Tamaryn bent over. She placed her wrists and neck in position. She swung her hair around. She was now bent over with her behind high in the air. Her skirt raised even higher, giving anyone looking from behind and amazing view of Tamaryn’s sexy bare, tanned legs. Some little freckles on her thighs were visible. The top bar was lowered on her and the magician locked the side, locking Tamaryn in place. Tamaryn looked up. She could see her colleagues pointed and laughing at the site of her in that position. She then lowered her eyes looking at the floor.
The magician then walked around the front of Tamaryn. He bent over to speak with her. “Tamaryn, now that everything is in place, I can reveal to you, that this is all a special birthday setup arranged by your friends over there. There will be no trick, unfortunately, Tamaryn, but there will be a very big treat. Let’s bring it out,” he shouted. The audience cheered as another long narrow item was wheeled out, also covered in a sheet. It was wheeled out right in front of Tamaryn. She did her best to look up. The magician then walked over and pulled off the sheet. He revealed a trolley full of various foods. The audience cheered and laughed. The cast of Hollyoaks celebrated and roared with laughter. Everyone now knew what was about to happen to Tamaryn. She could not quite see what they were cheering about. She raised her head as far as she could, almost straining her neck to see what was on the trolley. She knew whatever it was, was not good. The magician pulled out a creamy pie and displayed it in front of Tamaryn’s face. Her eyes went as wide as saucers. A look of abject panic flashed across her face. In her panic, she almost tried to move from the stocks, but only really managed to wiggle her body slightly. Her co stars were now howling with laughter. Tamaryn begged and pleaded for this not to happen to her. She screamed, ”No!” The magician teased her with the pie. He took his finger and took dollops of the pie and placed it on Tamaryn’s nose, cheeks, chin and lips. She shook her head wildly.
The sweat was now pouring down her legs. He teased her with the pie even more. He pretended that he was going to smash the pie in her face, swingeing it back and forth a few times, as she begged him not to do this. He pulled back one more time. There was a pause and then an eruption of cheers and laughter as he thrust the pie straight into Tamaryn’s face. The pie smushed straight into her face. She got a mouthful of pie as she screamed. There was not much give in the stocks, so her face was packed with pie. He pushed it into her face, planting her with it. He held the tin in place for a moment. Finally he let go, revealing Tamaryn’s tanned face now coated in a layer of creamy pie. She was locked in and helpless to defend herself against the cream of the pie. Globs of pie fell off of Tamaryn’s face. The Hollyoaks crew high fived and were now falling all over themselves in laughter. Seeing this happen to Tamaryn was a moment of exuberance and celebration. Tamaryn could hardly believe what had just happened to her. She was now bent over, locked in the stocks and her beautiful face was covered in creamy pie. The whole club were loving it. For someone who obsessed with her appearance and cleanliness, this was the ultimate embarrassment, and she was about to get much more messy. She could hear the laughter from everyone watching what was happening to her.
The magician then pulled out a second pie. Tamaryn could barely see what was happening at this point because her face was dripping in creamy pie and she was helpless to do anything about it. He walked behind her. She could feel his presence behind her as he went. He took his hand and raised the bottom of her dress in the air, revealing her lacy, bright pink panties. She winced. She could only guess what he was about to do next. All the muscles in her legs and behind tensed up. Tamaryn tried her best to keep her smooth, long legs together, but she had to bend her knees from time to time. It was hard to keep her balance at times because she was wearing a pair of high heels. The magician then pulled his arm back, resting the other on Tamaryn’s hip. He wound up and then pushed the pie into her backside. He did not hold back. The pie slammed into her rear end with some force. Bits of pie flew from her bottom in all directions. He then rubbed the pie around, smushing it against her panties. Everyone laughed as she let out a squeal on the moment of impact. Her mouth wide open, pie dripping from her face. He rubbed the pie around and then pushed it down the backs of Tamaryn’s thighs, smearing creamy pie down her shapely thighs as he went. Tamaryn could feel the pie all over her sexy naked legs. The fact that she was locked in the stocks left her in a position where her legs and butt were completely exposed. They made the most luscious of targets. Having a pie crammed up on her butt was a feeling that Tamaryn would not soon forget. She was completely helpless now, there was no escape for her.
He then took another pie. This time he carefully pushed it into Tamaryn’s legs. He leaned over and pushed the creamy pie into the backs of her knees. She then pushed the pie downwards, smearing pie all over the backs of her knees and all the way down her calves. He took his time pulled the pie all the way down to her ankles. He then folded the pie tin over and scraped pie all over the front of her legs as well. Her sexy tanned legs now coated in sloppy cream pie. She could do nothing wiggle her legs around in the pie. She could feel the soft creaminess on her sexy skin. She could also feel the sensation of utter embarrassment. The magician then grabbed yet another pie. He again went behind her. This time he used one hand and pulled open the back of Tamaryn’s underwear. He then took the pie and placed it at the small of her back. He then took his other and, with the side of it, swept the filling in the pie downward and into Tamaryn’s open panties. It plopped downwards inside. He then removed the pie tin with one hand and snapped her panties shut with the other. The loud screech that Tamaryn let out elicited gigantic amounts of laughter. The back of her panties now bulged with pie. Pie oozed out of the waist band around her stomach and around the tops of her legs. Her panties now stained. She could feel the pie up inside of her underwear. It was all over her butt cheeks and her butt crack, but all over her private parts as well. The feeling of pie all over butt crack and vagina was a sensation that she was not prepared for. She was embarrassed to admit that the pie was not the only thing causing the moisture inside of her underwear. To her embarrassment the sweet musky odour of Tamaryn’s sexy slim body could be smelled by anyone on the stage. The smell of her sweat and vaginal juices wafted through the air.
He then took yet another pie, from the seemingly endless supply of them and smashed it in her face again. This time forcefully twisting it around in her face. It landed with a thud in her face. He rubbed the pie round and round in her face. He then placed the pin tin on top of her head, as if it was a hat. Pie filling cascades down her hair and face. She was now half covered in pie. She was hoping that it was all over, surely this was enough. What more could they do to her? Of course, her colleagues were loving every moment of this. All of them had put up with her for a long time and were really enjoying the fact that this was happening to her.
The magician then called them up on the stage. “It is your turn now,” he announced. He then handed each of them a bottle of the red wine that Tamaryn had been drinking. “ We interrupted Tamaryn’s drink earlier, so as a way of saying we are sorry, we are going to give her lots more of her favourite drink. Free of charge. On the house.” Tamaryn was so preoccupied with all the pies, she was not even paying attention to what was being said. All of them then shook up their wine bottles as much as they could. They aimed the tops at Tamaryn. They then popped the tops and started to spray the actress with the wine. Red wine sprayed her all over. It soaked and stained her light coloured dress, completely ruining in and washed down her body. Her colleagues showered her in the wine. The bubbly fluid rolled over her body. Her body shivered and shuddered from the freezing cold sensation of the chilled wine on her body. Her dress now clung to her body. It was skin tight. Her bra was visible now through the white portion of her dress. Her colleagues danced around with the bottles, as they poured them down over her.
Next they were each given a pie from the trolley. They all then lined up in a row in front of their prone colleague, holding their pies. They then made a semi circle around their now sloppy colleague. They surrounded her on all sides. She turned her head to face the ground, that was all she could really do to defend herself at this point. She closed her eyes. It was not going to do much good though. She was about to be bombarded with pies and her colleagues were going to be the ones to do it. “Ok everyone,” the magician said,” On the count of three, you all know what to do.” They all got into position, choosing silently where they were going to be aiming their pies. Targeting different areas of Tamaryn’s body. Everyone then counted down “Three…two….one.” The all leaned back and took aim. When they hit one they all started to throw their pies at their prone co star. Pies flew threw the air from all angles. One after another they peppered Tamaryn’s body, splatting her with pie. One hit her thigh, then her chest, then her face then bottom. One after another they splattered her. Her colleagues howling with laughter as they got the pleasure of pieing her. For a second the pie tins stuck to her body before being knocked off by still more pie tins. She was soon covered in pie. Pie rolled down her body, toppling down her legs, dripping from her face and chest. There was so much pie that almost looked as though it was gunge. The Hollyoaks stars pointed and laughed hysterically. They high fived one another. They revelled in Tamaryn’s misery. Her face was almost no longer visible under the piles of pie that covered it.
The Hollyoaks actors were then handed a few buckets. It was explained that the buckets were filled with cake batter. The cake batter was yellow, pink and green. “Come on everyone,” the magician said, “Let’s all sing happy birthday to her, while this lot covers her in the cake batter.” Everyone cheered. The actors then carried the buckets over. The magician took his fingers and began to pretend that he was a conductor. He led the crowd in singing happy birthday to Tamaryn. As the tones of “Happy Birthday to you,” filled the air, the buckets began to be tipped over Tamaryn. The thick cake batter was poured down her back first, covering the back of her dress and dripping down her chest. More was poured down the length of her back and down to her backside. It was poured back and forth over her backside and then down the backs of her legs. It was thick and sloppy as it plopped down onto her body. Her expensive dress would definitely never be the same again now. Her colleagues relished pouring the multi coloured slop down over her prone body. She wiggled her bum and flexed her legs back and forth as the batter fell. The final bit was plopped down over her head. Finally, some birthday candles were brought out and stuck onto her head. They stuck in place in the batter for a moment. They Hollyoaks actors then exited, leaving Tamaryn in the stocks.
“Happy Birthday Tamaryn,” the magician said. The audience applauded. He then walked over and undid the clasp on the stocks. Tamryn leaned forward and stood up. She was plastered in mess from head to toe. Everyone was pointing and laughing at her. She just rolled her eyes. She looked incredibly angry. She was then told to get off stage and was pushed off. When she got backstage, she realized that the rest of the cast had gone, leaving her there. She was going to have to make her way home like that. She was able to clean herself a bit, but she had no change of clothes so would have to go home in her messed up dress. The next day at work, no one said anything. There was plenty of snickering though.
Tamaryn Payne was a lot like the character that she played on Hollyoaks. She was prim and proper, snooty and somewhat prudish. She also, almost always wore skirts and showed off a lot of leg. She was quite attractive, and received a lot of attention from the young men on the show. She never really responded to any of their advances. Whenever any of them tried to ask her out she would always refuse. This was mainly because she did not want to date anyone that she worked with. From the perspective of the men that she had turned down, however, they viewed her as a stuck up witch. Everyone thought that she felt that she was better than everyone else. She also did not mix well with the other females on set. They were all super gorgeous and the girls were all very competitive with one another. Plus, they all felt she was a stuck up witch as well. Tamaryn did not seem to really care. In fact, she seemed oblivious to the fact that no one really cared for her. She was blissfully unaware that no one liked her very much.
Tamaryn could be moody and stuck up. She was always very particular about her hair and makeup and was frequently late for her scenes. She would constantly hold up shooting and generally annoy everyone. The cast decided that they wanted to get back at her and were going to teach Tamaryn a lesson. It was Tamaryn’s birthday. The cast of the show would usually go out for each cast member’s birthday. It was a sort of tradition. They would usually go to a club or pub for some drinks after taping. Little did Tamaryn know that her colleagues were going to be taken this golden opportunity and going to be really showing her what they really thought of her. Her co stars called up a certain club and made some very special arrangements for Tamaryn on her birthday. They would be taking her to a club that also did shows of various kinds. The entertainer, who would be on stage, was going to pretend to be a magician. He was then going to ask if it was anyone’s birthday. The Hollyoaks cast would then point to Tamaryn. She would be forced to go up on stage and then the fun would really begin. To be honest, this was going to be the only way that the cast would be able to stand being around Tamaryn for that length of time. The guys who had asked her out were attracted to her due to her looks alone. Her famous legs were the main allure. They did not ask her out for her personality. None of them would have really wanted to put up with her as a girlfriend. To call her high maintenance would be an understatement.
The cast had planned to do this for some time. They were all incredibly excited about what was going to happen. They were going to totally trash Tamaryn. They were going to love every minute of it. She had no idea that it was going to happen. She knew that they would be taking her out to the club, but that was all she knew about what was going to happen. When she went into work that morning, she had no idea that she would be ending the evening covered in mess. She was not going to be happy with what was going to happen. Everyone expected a hissy fit They did not care though. She deserved what she was going to get, in their eyes. Tamaryn was seen as quite posh. She sometimes tried to like the other actors, but it never really worked. She would have thought that something like this would have been totally beneath her. Even messy television shows, she would have seen as low brow.
Tamaryn joined her colleagues as they all gathered to head out to the club for her birthday. She wore an expensive looking two toned dress that was white on the top and beige at the bottom. Again, it was very short, showing off her long tanned legs. Everyone saw her as a bit of a tease. She used to dress that way, but had never even had a boyfriend during her time on the show. She did not see anything sexy in the way that she dressed. She felt that she was quite conservative. She had no idea of the way that the men lusted over her luscious long legs. She accompanied her colleagues to the club that evening. Everyone pretended that everything was normal. Everyone got a drink and toasted to Tamaryn and her Birthday. Tamaryn sipped a glass of expensive wine. Soon the lights were lowered and the magician was announced. He walked on stage to the applause of the crowd. Little did Tamaryn know what was about to happen to her.
The magician introduced himself. Tamaryn was thinking to herself that she hated magic and how juvenile it was. “Ok,” the magician said,” For my first trick, I will need a volunteer to assist me. Is there any birthday girls in the audience tonight?,” he asked. Tamaryn gave a deep gulp. She lowered her eyes and put her hand to her forehead, hoping that he would not find out that it was her birthday. Her colleagues pointed at her, shouted and waived. She blushed red with embarrassment, still hoping that there was a chance that he would go to someone else. Unfortunately for her, he walked straight up to her. He pointed at her. “You over there, the birthday girl, don’t be shy join me up on stage.” She shook her hands, worry flashed across her face. Her protests were overshadowed and ignored. Someone took her glass of wine as the others pulled her to her feet. They encouraged her pushing her towards the stage. Everyone else cheered. Tamaryn was forced to walk up on stage with her eyes on her shoes. She finally made it up on stage. The group from Hollyoaks cheered and laughed for her. She glared at them. The anger on her face was plain to see.
The magician began to speak to her. “Welcome to the show young lady, are you having a good night?,” he asked. “Yes, thank you. Its been fine,” she said, struggling to be polite and to hold back her annoyance. “Young lady, what is your name and occupation?,” he asked. “I am Tamaryn and I am an actress,” she said. “Eww an actress, how fancy. Well happy birthday Tamaryn. Now, you were selected to come up on stage to take part in a trick with me, if that is ok,” he said. He moved the microphone to her mouth, but moved it away again as soon as she started to speak. “ The trick involves a special apparatus. Can we bring it out please.” The audience cheered as something, underneath a sheet was wheeled out on stage. What was it, Tamaryn wondered. “I she going to saw me in half or what,” she thought. Her fellow Hollyoaks stars were pointing and laughing, because they knew what was under the sheet.
The magician walked up to the contraption and pulled the sheet off with panache. The crowd applauded as a pillory was revealed. Tamaryn’s eyes widened. She blushed an even deeper shade of red. She began to sweat now. There was a huge lumped in her throat. She let out a deep gulp. “Ok Tamaryn, will you come with me please.” “I’d rather not,” she said with some trepidation. “Oh come on don’t be shy, it won’t hurt I promise.” The audience jeered her, urging her to comply. She rolled her eyes and followed him to the back of the stocks. He raised the top bar of it and showed her how to get in. She was still very reluctant to do this, but she was being left with little choice. The audience cheered as Tamaryn bent over. She placed her wrists and neck in position. She swung her hair around. She was now bent over with her behind high in the air. Her skirt raised even higher, giving anyone looking from behind and amazing view of Tamaryn’s sexy bare, tanned legs. Some little freckles on her thighs were visible. The top bar was lowered on her and the magician locked the side, locking Tamaryn in place. Tamaryn looked up. She could see her colleagues pointed and laughing at the site of her in that position. She then lowered her eyes looking at the floor.
The magician then walked around the front of Tamaryn. He bent over to speak with her. “Tamaryn, now that everything is in place, I can reveal to you, that this is all a special birthday setup arranged by your friends over there. There will be no trick, unfortunately, Tamaryn, but there will be a very big treat. Let’s bring it out,” he shouted. The audience cheered as another long narrow item was wheeled out, also covered in a sheet. It was wheeled out right in front of Tamaryn. She did her best to look up. The magician then walked over and pulled off the sheet. He revealed a trolley full of various foods. The audience cheered and laughed. The cast of Hollyoaks celebrated and roared with laughter. Everyone now knew what was about to happen to Tamaryn. She could not quite see what they were cheering about. She raised her head as far as she could, almost straining her neck to see what was on the trolley. She knew whatever it was, was not good. The magician pulled out a creamy pie and displayed it in front of Tamaryn’s face. Her eyes went as wide as saucers. A look of abject panic flashed across her face. In her panic, she almost tried to move from the stocks, but only really managed to wiggle her body slightly. Her co stars were now howling with laughter. Tamaryn begged and pleaded for this not to happen to her. She screamed, ”No!” The magician teased her with the pie. He took his finger and took dollops of the pie and placed it on Tamaryn’s nose, cheeks, chin and lips. She shook her head wildly.
The sweat was now pouring down her legs. He teased her with the pie even more. He pretended that he was going to smash the pie in her face, swingeing it back and forth a few times, as she begged him not to do this. He pulled back one more time. There was a pause and then an eruption of cheers and laughter as he thrust the pie straight into Tamaryn’s face. The pie smushed straight into her face. She got a mouthful of pie as she screamed. There was not much give in the stocks, so her face was packed with pie. He pushed it into her face, planting her with it. He held the tin in place for a moment. Finally he let go, revealing Tamaryn’s tanned face now coated in a layer of creamy pie. She was locked in and helpless to defend herself against the cream of the pie. Globs of pie fell off of Tamaryn’s face. The Hollyoaks crew high fived and were now falling all over themselves in laughter. Seeing this happen to Tamaryn was a moment of exuberance and celebration. Tamaryn could hardly believe what had just happened to her. She was now bent over, locked in the stocks and her beautiful face was covered in creamy pie. The whole club were loving it. For someone who obsessed with her appearance and cleanliness, this was the ultimate embarrassment, and she was about to get much more messy. She could hear the laughter from everyone watching what was happening to her.
The magician then pulled out a second pie. Tamaryn could barely see what was happening at this point because her face was dripping in creamy pie and she was helpless to do anything about it. He walked behind her. She could feel his presence behind her as he went. He took his hand and raised the bottom of her dress in the air, revealing her lacy, bright pink panties. She winced. She could only guess what he was about to do next. All the muscles in her legs and behind tensed up. Tamaryn tried her best to keep her smooth, long legs together, but she had to bend her knees from time to time. It was hard to keep her balance at times because she was wearing a pair of high heels. The magician then pulled his arm back, resting the other on Tamaryn’s hip. He wound up and then pushed the pie into her backside. He did not hold back. The pie slammed into her rear end with some force. Bits of pie flew from her bottom in all directions. He then rubbed the pie around, smushing it against her panties. Everyone laughed as she let out a squeal on the moment of impact. Her mouth wide open, pie dripping from her face. He rubbed the pie around and then pushed it down the backs of Tamaryn’s thighs, smearing creamy pie down her shapely thighs as he went. Tamaryn could feel the pie all over her sexy naked legs. The fact that she was locked in the stocks left her in a position where her legs and butt were completely exposed. They made the most luscious of targets. Having a pie crammed up on her butt was a feeling that Tamaryn would not soon forget. She was completely helpless now, there was no escape for her.
He then took another pie. This time he carefully pushed it into Tamaryn’s legs. He leaned over and pushed the creamy pie into the backs of her knees. She then pushed the pie downwards, smearing pie all over the backs of her knees and all the way down her calves. He took his time pulled the pie all the way down to her ankles. He then folded the pie tin over and scraped pie all over the front of her legs as well. Her sexy tanned legs now coated in sloppy cream pie. She could do nothing wiggle her legs around in the pie. She could feel the soft creaminess on her sexy skin. She could also feel the sensation of utter embarrassment. The magician then grabbed yet another pie. He again went behind her. This time he used one hand and pulled open the back of Tamaryn’s underwear. He then took the pie and placed it at the small of her back. He then took his other and, with the side of it, swept the filling in the pie downward and into Tamaryn’s open panties. It plopped downwards inside. He then removed the pie tin with one hand and snapped her panties shut with the other. The loud screech that Tamaryn let out elicited gigantic amounts of laughter. The back of her panties now bulged with pie. Pie oozed out of the waist band around her stomach and around the tops of her legs. Her panties now stained. She could feel the pie up inside of her underwear. It was all over her butt cheeks and her butt crack, but all over her private parts as well. The feeling of pie all over butt crack and vagina was a sensation that she was not prepared for. She was embarrassed to admit that the pie was not the only thing causing the moisture inside of her underwear. To her embarrassment the sweet musky odour of Tamaryn’s sexy slim body could be smelled by anyone on the stage. The smell of her sweat and vaginal juices wafted through the air.
He then took yet another pie, from the seemingly endless supply of them and smashed it in her face again. This time forcefully twisting it around in her face. It landed with a thud in her face. He rubbed the pie round and round in her face. He then placed the pin tin on top of her head, as if it was a hat. Pie filling cascades down her hair and face. She was now half covered in pie. She was hoping that it was all over, surely this was enough. What more could they do to her? Of course, her colleagues were loving every moment of this. All of them had put up with her for a long time and were really enjoying the fact that this was happening to her.
The magician then called them up on the stage. “It is your turn now,” he announced. He then handed each of them a bottle of the red wine that Tamaryn had been drinking. “ We interrupted Tamaryn’s drink earlier, so as a way of saying we are sorry, we are going to give her lots more of her favourite drink. Free of charge. On the house.” Tamaryn was so preoccupied with all the pies, she was not even paying attention to what was being said. All of them then shook up their wine bottles as much as they could. They aimed the tops at Tamaryn. They then popped the tops and started to spray the actress with the wine. Red wine sprayed her all over. It soaked and stained her light coloured dress, completely ruining in and washed down her body. Her colleagues showered her in the wine. The bubbly fluid rolled over her body. Her body shivered and shuddered from the freezing cold sensation of the chilled wine on her body. Her dress now clung to her body. It was skin tight. Her bra was visible now through the white portion of her dress. Her colleagues danced around with the bottles, as they poured them down over her.
Next they were each given a pie from the trolley. They all then lined up in a row in front of their prone colleague, holding their pies. They then made a semi circle around their now sloppy colleague. They surrounded her on all sides. She turned her head to face the ground, that was all she could really do to defend herself at this point. She closed her eyes. It was not going to do much good though. She was about to be bombarded with pies and her colleagues were going to be the ones to do it. “Ok everyone,” the magician said,” On the count of three, you all know what to do.” They all got into position, choosing silently where they were going to be aiming their pies. Targeting different areas of Tamaryn’s body. Everyone then counted down “Three…two….one.” The all leaned back and took aim. When they hit one they all started to throw their pies at their prone co star. Pies flew threw the air from all angles. One after another they peppered Tamaryn’s body, splatting her with pie. One hit her thigh, then her chest, then her face then bottom. One after another they splattered her. Her colleagues howling with laughter as they got the pleasure of pieing her. For a second the pie tins stuck to her body before being knocked off by still more pie tins. She was soon covered in pie. Pie rolled down her body, toppling down her legs, dripping from her face and chest. There was so much pie that almost looked as though it was gunge. The Hollyoaks stars pointed and laughed hysterically. They high fived one another. They revelled in Tamaryn’s misery. Her face was almost no longer visible under the piles of pie that covered it.
The Hollyoaks actors were then handed a few buckets. It was explained that the buckets were filled with cake batter. The cake batter was yellow, pink and green. “Come on everyone,” the magician said, “Let’s all sing happy birthday to her, while this lot covers her in the cake batter.” Everyone cheered. The actors then carried the buckets over. The magician took his fingers and began to pretend that he was a conductor. He led the crowd in singing happy birthday to Tamaryn. As the tones of “Happy Birthday to you,” filled the air, the buckets began to be tipped over Tamaryn. The thick cake batter was poured down her back first, covering the back of her dress and dripping down her chest. More was poured down the length of her back and down to her backside. It was poured back and forth over her backside and then down the backs of her legs. It was thick and sloppy as it plopped down onto her body. Her expensive dress would definitely never be the same again now. Her colleagues relished pouring the multi coloured slop down over her prone body. She wiggled her bum and flexed her legs back and forth as the batter fell. The final bit was plopped down over her head. Finally, some birthday candles were brought out and stuck onto her head. They stuck in place in the batter for a moment. They Hollyoaks actors then exited, leaving Tamaryn in the stocks.
“Happy Birthday Tamaryn,” the magician said. The audience applauded. He then walked over and undid the clasp on the stocks. Tamryn leaned forward and stood up. She was plastered in mess from head to toe. Everyone was pointing and laughing at her. She just rolled her eyes. She looked incredibly angry. She was then told to get off stage and was pushed off. When she got backstage, she realized that the rest of the cast had gone, leaving her there. She was going to have to make her way home like that. She was able to clean herself a bit, but she had no change of clothes so would have to go home in her messed up dress. The next day at work, no one said anything. There was plenty of snickering though.
Sunday, 10 June 2012
some great pies
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Kate Middleton takes the throne
Kate Middleton takes the throne
Somehow Mr. G. had managed to secure what would be considered by some as the ultimate guest. That guest was Kate Middleton. No one could believe that she actually agreed to appear on the show. She would be a dream guest on anyone’s show , but on Let Her Have It, she was probably the person that people wanted to see appear more than anyone else. No one could believe that someone in her position would allow herself to be covered in mess on national television. The thought of seeing Kate Middleton covered in mess was something that would have to be seen. Everybody would want to see this happen. Everyone that that it was a ruse. No one actually believed that Kate Middleton would actually appear on the show. There were rumours that it could be a look alike or an actress who would turn up. Some believed that it was just a publicity stunt. The producers of the show encouraged the intrigue and the speculation. All of it was good for the show. The buzz around the show was never more hot. Few actually believed Kate Middleton would actually be there. It would not be the first time that a celebrity pulled out of a commitment like this at the last minute after having agreed well in advance. As for Kate, she just felt that the whole thing was pretty hilarious. She felt that it would be a way to show the whole world that she was not a stuck up snob and did not feel like she was better than everyone else. People would be laughing with her. She could prove that she was down to earth. She felt that she was just a normal woman and saw this as a chance to demonstrate that. How her in laws were going to feel about the whole thing was another matter entirely. They would not find what Kate was about to take part in appropriate at all.
No one believed that this was going to happen, but much to everyone’s surprise, when the day of the show arrived, Kate Middleton was there with a huge smile on her face ready to take part. She made it clear to the producers of the show that she did not want them to take it easy on her because of who she was. She wanted them to Let Her Have It, just as if she was anyone else. She was secretly a fan of the show and was actually thrilled to get the chance to be the show. She insisted that she be treated the same as everyone else. She might live to regret that. She was a bit nervous backstage, but she had been in situations before where the eyes of the whole world were on her and she had done ok. Mind you, none of them had been anything like this. She was ready to have a laugh though and to show that she did not take herself too seriously. The excitement and the buzz in the air was electric, even more than usual. There was always an air of tension when someone was about to get messed, but this was heightened to even beyond that. Kate Middleton was about to get messed and everyone was going to get to sit back and enjoy it. It would be a night that everyone would remember for a long, long time to come.
The studio was decked out like a palace and had lots of British flags and crowns everywhere. The whole stage was decorated in this style. There was red and blue velvet everywhere. The audience was buzzing with excitement. This was going to be a huge show. The whole world would probably being seeing what was going to happen. The show opened and Mr. G. made his entrance to a huge round of applause. He waived, bowed and smiled as he took his place on stage. “Thank you, everyone and welcome to a very special, royal edition of Let Her Have It. It is a very special night tonight. We have a very special guest. It is a huge deal for everyone and we want to thank this certain special someone so much for coming to our humble show. You know, I can’t hardly believe it myself. It is hard to believe it, but we have that very special lady here in the studio tonight. She is one of the most famous and iconic people in the world. The whole world watched as she was married. Tonight, the world will watch as something else happens to her. Something very different indeed. We are so pleased to have her hear tonight. Please, join me in welcoming, the one and only, Kate Middleton,” Mr. G. said. The audience thundered with applause. Mr. G. held his arm out and motioned to the other side of the stage.
Kate entered the studio smiling and waiving. She was already blushing bright red. Her sexy smile beamed across her face. She wore a black and grey dress that showed off a lot of her sexy leg. Otherwise, it was a relatively conservative dress. Her hair was down. She crossed the stage and shook Mr. G.’s hand She then joined him on the couches for a chat. They sat opposite one another. She smiled and waived at the audience and waited for their applause to die down. She crossed her long sexy legs as she sat down. She gave Mr. G. a hug. She smiled and laughed. Eventually, the thunder of applause stopped, although it was prolonged and very loud.
“Kate Middleton, a very warm welcome. It is truly an honour to have you here with us tonight,” Mr. G. said. “It is honour to be here, thanks for having me.” “I’ll tell you what, when we said that you were going to be here tonight, no one believed us. I could hardly believe it myself, but here you are live and in the flesh.” “Well yes, it is a pleasure to be here. I am actually quite a big fan of wet and messy showing. I have been watching it since I was a little girl and always wished that it happened to me.” “Well, you’ve come to the right place,” Mr. G. said with a laugh. Kate laughed. “Yeah, I know,” Kate replied. “I also would like the mention that there are a lot of preconceived notions about you, but I have to say, everyone backstage have commented that you are one of the nicest people that they have ever met doing the show.” “Thank you,” Kate replied humbly. “I also want to show everyone that I am just a normal girl, at the end of the day. I think that this is going to be a lot of fun. I just want to have a laugh,” she explained. “I think it will be so much fun.” “I think that we all definitely will have fun. I have to ask though, what do you think that the reaction back home will be when they see this?,” Mr. G. asked. “You know, I never thought of that, honestly. Most of them don’t really watch this type of thing, so they probably won’t see it. I hope. If they do they will not be too amused I don’t think, but hey, what’s the big deal,” Kate explained. “I suppose that it would be awkward and embarrassing in a way.” “Well, I have had one or two embarrassing moments in my past, that is for sure,” Kate replied. “Really, what is your most embarrassing moment then?,” Mr. G. asked. “Oh god, do I really have to tell this story,” Kate said laughing and blushing. “We are all friends here, don’t be shy,” Mr. G. teased. “ I am going to regret this, I can tell,” Kate said. “What happened was I had to use a public toilet once. I hate using public toilets, but I really had to go, so I didn’t have a choice, really. So I went and, not being rude, it was massive. Keep in mind there were a load of people in the queue waiting behind me. Anyway, I flushed but it would not flush. I tied again and then the water started rising. It came higher and higher until it overflowed onto the floor. Of course, I am panicking. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t sneak off because there was a line of people waiting behind me. Plus I am a celebrity. I wished I wasn’t at that moment. Everyone would know what I did. The bathroom was a total mess. It was so embarrassing,” she laughed at herself.
“Actually, Kate, mentioning that, your story actually is keeping with our theme of the day. We have something special prepared you today. It is a very special seat that is perfect for a member of the royal family. You are going to feel very comfortable in it. It is the best seat in the house,” Mr. G. said. “Ok, sounds good,” Kate replied with a giggle. With that a royal fanfare began to play. The curtains opened and through the curtains came the Giant Flush. This time though, it was decorated in all sorts of velvet, gold and all sorts of royal looking decorations. When Kate saw it she blushed and roared with laughter. She pointed at it and laughed. “Basically,” Mr. G. said,” We have arranged a royal throne for you this evening, Kate.” “ Yes I see. Basically, the world is going to witness me sitting on the throne,” Kate said with a laugh. “I believe that is a good way to put it yes,” Mr. G. replied. “So I gather that you would like me to sit down on the throne,” she asked. “Will you please?,” Mr. G. said. Kate gave a sarcastic look but then stood up and said,” Sure, that is what I am here for, after all.” Kate stood up and adjusted her dress. She followed Mr. G. over to the giant flush. She took his hand as he helped her lower her bottom onto the toilet below. She moved her bottom into position , wrapping herself around the porcelain toilet seat below. She looked up at the larger toilet bowl above and laughed.
Mr. G. then took a plunger that was stood by the toilet. “Your sceptre, your majesty,” he said. “I could have used this a few months ago,” Kate kidded, referring to the story that she had told earlier in the evening. She took the plunger and held it in her hand. “Are you comfortable sitting on the throne?,” Mr. G. teased. “Oh yes, it feels just elegant to be sitting here on the throne,” she jokingly replied. “I have to say, it really suits you,” Mr. G. said. “I was always told I was born to sit on the throne,” Kate joked. The fact that the Duchess of Cambridge was now sitting on a toilet, with a giant toilet bowl situated above her head was something that the audience were just loving. Everyone thought that the situation was hilarious. Never mind, what was about to happen to Kate in a few short minutes. Everyone knew that the toilet would soon flush and a large amount of brown gunge would be getting poured down on the Duchess of Cambridge. This was going to be a moment to remember. Kate sat on the throne contemplating what was about to happen.
“So Kate, I don’t think that I need to explain what is going to happen do I?,” Mr. G. said. “No, I don’t think so. I have seen the giant flush before. I know how it works. Don’t worry,” she replied. Kate looked up and pointed up. “I am going to get it,” she mouthed. Mr. G. walked over to the giant flusher. “Ok, Kate, we are going to count down. On the count of three, the toilet will be flushed and then the magic happens,” Mr. G. said. “Are you ready Kate?,” he asked. Kate adjusted her dress and repositioned her body, perched on the toilet. She got herself ready. “I think that I am ready now,” she said with a smile. “Ok everyone, here we go. Get ready for what you are about to witness. Here we go,”
Everyone started to count down. “3...2...1” Mr. G. pulled the flusher down. Kate screwed up her face She shut her eyes. Every muscle in her body contracted. She blushed bright red. She braced herself for what was about to hit her. When the count down ended, Mr. G. pulled down on the giant flusher. The usual Giant Flush sounds then began. The sounds of farting and someone using the bathroom were heard, much to Kate’s amusement. This was followed by the sounds of a toilet flushing, Then there was a whoosh sound. Then sloppy brown gunge began to fall from the whole in the giant toilet seat that Kate sat under. It fell with a plopping sound. The first bit of brown gunge fell through the bowl. It was a relatively small amount at first. The first bit were a few brown globs of gunge that fell from above. They fell through the air and landed directly on the Duchess’ face. It fell in a long brown blob onto Kate’s forehead, sticking to her face, across part of her eyebrow and down her nose. It stuck in place on her face and dangled across her nose. Several more lumps of gunge fell from above landing on Kate’s face. They splattered across her mouth and cheeks. Her hair now getting splattered in brown muck. More fell, hitting her face and tumbling down her dress, sticking to her body.
The brown muck fell irregularly down onto Kate. Her knees and calves were hit with blobs of the brown gunge. She could feel the thick sloppy mess against her long legs. She held her hands out in front of her, catching some of the mess as it fell. She raised her shoulders. She laughed as it happened. Then suddenly the more watery, smoother gunge began to plop down on her. It poured down on her through the toilet seat above, straight down onto her face. The speed of the gunge picked up some now as well. The brown gunge poured down Kate’s face. She closed her eyes as her entire face and most of her head was showered in brown gunge. Gunge poured down the front of her dress, trashing the expensive but delicate material that it was made of. Her dress clung to her body. The brown muck overwhelmed her clothes. Her whole front was now dripping in brown mess. More poured down onto her lap and all over her legs. Some of the brown sloppy muck fell straight onto her thighs and bent knees. Her calves dripping in muck. Brown mess dripped down to her ankles and all over her expensive high heeled shoes. Brown muck was now everywhere. The velvet material and golden bits around the throne were stained with mucky brown splatter. The toilet that Kate sat on was also almost totally covered in the mucky brown sludge. The crowd roared with laughter as they watched the giant toilet getting flushed on one of the most famous people in the world.
Kate laughed at herself as she was flushed upon. Finally the gunge stopped as the last few thick bits fell from above and trickled down onto Kate below. Everyone gave her a huge round of applause as the gunge slowed to a stop. Kate took her hands and ran them over her face, wiping some of the brown mess from her eyes. She gritted her teeth as she cleaned some of the mess away. She bit her lip and laughed. She gave herself a messy clap. The globs of brown muck still stuck where they had been originally on Kate’s face. Her large white teeth and her eyes gleamed out of her now brown slop covered face. Her legs and dress slathered in brown gunge. She smiled and laughed. She could feel the thick sloppy mess all over her.
Mr. G. walked over to Kate. He bowed. “The throne defiantly suits you, your majesty,” he joked. “I think it is overflowing again,” Kate joked. She blushed and laughed. “Seriously though, how was that?,” he asked. “It was great, honestly. That was so much fun. It’s a badge of honour. It is so cool. It feels really good as well. I just love it.” “I wonder if this will start a new fashion trend,” Mr. G. joked. “I wouldn’t go that far. Probably not my best look,” Kate said. “How do I look,” she asked, posing in the mess on the toilet. “You never looked better,” Mr. G. replied. “That is what I would call a royal flush,” Kate joked. She then gave a funny face to indicate that she was aware of how corny that must have sounded. “Anyway, once again. I can not thank you enough. You have been so kind and such a good sport. And you look great covered in sloppy brown muck as well.” Kate leaned over and shook his hand. She then tried to pull him in closer. She rubbed her muck covered hands across the suit that he was wearing. He pulled away and laughed.
Kate smiled and laughed as the crowd applauded her. She was still covered in thick brown mess. She waived as the show ended. Slow motion replays were shown of the flushing. Most of the papers around the world the next day led with stories with titles such as “The duchess on the throne” and “Kate gets the royal flush”. She had a lot of explaining to do back at home, but no one could be too mad. It was just a bit of fun. All in all, Kate had a lot of fun and certainly proved that she was down to earth.
Somehow Mr. G. had managed to secure what would be considered by some as the ultimate guest. That guest was Kate Middleton. No one could believe that she actually agreed to appear on the show. She would be a dream guest on anyone’s show , but on Let Her Have It, she was probably the person that people wanted to see appear more than anyone else. No one could believe that someone in her position would allow herself to be covered in mess on national television. The thought of seeing Kate Middleton covered in mess was something that would have to be seen. Everybody would want to see this happen. Everyone that that it was a ruse. No one actually believed that Kate Middleton would actually appear on the show. There were rumours that it could be a look alike or an actress who would turn up. Some believed that it was just a publicity stunt. The producers of the show encouraged the intrigue and the speculation. All of it was good for the show. The buzz around the show was never more hot. Few actually believed Kate Middleton would actually be there. It would not be the first time that a celebrity pulled out of a commitment like this at the last minute after having agreed well in advance. As for Kate, she just felt that the whole thing was pretty hilarious. She felt that it would be a way to show the whole world that she was not a stuck up snob and did not feel like she was better than everyone else. People would be laughing with her. She could prove that she was down to earth. She felt that she was just a normal woman and saw this as a chance to demonstrate that. How her in laws were going to feel about the whole thing was another matter entirely. They would not find what Kate was about to take part in appropriate at all.
No one believed that this was going to happen, but much to everyone’s surprise, when the day of the show arrived, Kate Middleton was there with a huge smile on her face ready to take part. She made it clear to the producers of the show that she did not want them to take it easy on her because of who she was. She wanted them to Let Her Have It, just as if she was anyone else. She was secretly a fan of the show and was actually thrilled to get the chance to be the show. She insisted that she be treated the same as everyone else. She might live to regret that. She was a bit nervous backstage, but she had been in situations before where the eyes of the whole world were on her and she had done ok. Mind you, none of them had been anything like this. She was ready to have a laugh though and to show that she did not take herself too seriously. The excitement and the buzz in the air was electric, even more than usual. There was always an air of tension when someone was about to get messed, but this was heightened to even beyond that. Kate Middleton was about to get messed and everyone was going to get to sit back and enjoy it. It would be a night that everyone would remember for a long, long time to come.
The studio was decked out like a palace and had lots of British flags and crowns everywhere. The whole stage was decorated in this style. There was red and blue velvet everywhere. The audience was buzzing with excitement. This was going to be a huge show. The whole world would probably being seeing what was going to happen. The show opened and Mr. G. made his entrance to a huge round of applause. He waived, bowed and smiled as he took his place on stage. “Thank you, everyone and welcome to a very special, royal edition of Let Her Have It. It is a very special night tonight. We have a very special guest. It is a huge deal for everyone and we want to thank this certain special someone so much for coming to our humble show. You know, I can’t hardly believe it myself. It is hard to believe it, but we have that very special lady here in the studio tonight. She is one of the most famous and iconic people in the world. The whole world watched as she was married. Tonight, the world will watch as something else happens to her. Something very different indeed. We are so pleased to have her hear tonight. Please, join me in welcoming, the one and only, Kate Middleton,” Mr. G. said. The audience thundered with applause. Mr. G. held his arm out and motioned to the other side of the stage.
Kate entered the studio smiling and waiving. She was already blushing bright red. Her sexy smile beamed across her face. She wore a black and grey dress that showed off a lot of her sexy leg. Otherwise, it was a relatively conservative dress. Her hair was down. She crossed the stage and shook Mr. G.’s hand She then joined him on the couches for a chat. They sat opposite one another. She smiled and waived at the audience and waited for their applause to die down. She crossed her long sexy legs as she sat down. She gave Mr. G. a hug. She smiled and laughed. Eventually, the thunder of applause stopped, although it was prolonged and very loud.
“Kate Middleton, a very warm welcome. It is truly an honour to have you here with us tonight,” Mr. G. said. “It is honour to be here, thanks for having me.” “I’ll tell you what, when we said that you were going to be here tonight, no one believed us. I could hardly believe it myself, but here you are live and in the flesh.” “Well yes, it is a pleasure to be here. I am actually quite a big fan of wet and messy showing. I have been watching it since I was a little girl and always wished that it happened to me.” “Well, you’ve come to the right place,” Mr. G. said with a laugh. Kate laughed. “Yeah, I know,” Kate replied. “I also would like the mention that there are a lot of preconceived notions about you, but I have to say, everyone backstage have commented that you are one of the nicest people that they have ever met doing the show.” “Thank you,” Kate replied humbly. “I also want to show everyone that I am just a normal girl, at the end of the day. I think that this is going to be a lot of fun. I just want to have a laugh,” she explained. “I think it will be so much fun.” “I think that we all definitely will have fun. I have to ask though, what do you think that the reaction back home will be when they see this?,” Mr. G. asked. “You know, I never thought of that, honestly. Most of them don’t really watch this type of thing, so they probably won’t see it. I hope. If they do they will not be too amused I don’t think, but hey, what’s the big deal,” Kate explained. “I suppose that it would be awkward and embarrassing in a way.” “Well, I have had one or two embarrassing moments in my past, that is for sure,” Kate replied. “Really, what is your most embarrassing moment then?,” Mr. G. asked. “Oh god, do I really have to tell this story,” Kate said laughing and blushing. “We are all friends here, don’t be shy,” Mr. G. teased. “ I am going to regret this, I can tell,” Kate said. “What happened was I had to use a public toilet once. I hate using public toilets, but I really had to go, so I didn’t have a choice, really. So I went and, not being rude, it was massive. Keep in mind there were a load of people in the queue waiting behind me. Anyway, I flushed but it would not flush. I tied again and then the water started rising. It came higher and higher until it overflowed onto the floor. Of course, I am panicking. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t sneak off because there was a line of people waiting behind me. Plus I am a celebrity. I wished I wasn’t at that moment. Everyone would know what I did. The bathroom was a total mess. It was so embarrassing,” she laughed at herself.
“Actually, Kate, mentioning that, your story actually is keeping with our theme of the day. We have something special prepared you today. It is a very special seat that is perfect for a member of the royal family. You are going to feel very comfortable in it. It is the best seat in the house,” Mr. G. said. “Ok, sounds good,” Kate replied with a giggle. With that a royal fanfare began to play. The curtains opened and through the curtains came the Giant Flush. This time though, it was decorated in all sorts of velvet, gold and all sorts of royal looking decorations. When Kate saw it she blushed and roared with laughter. She pointed at it and laughed. “Basically,” Mr. G. said,” We have arranged a royal throne for you this evening, Kate.” “ Yes I see. Basically, the world is going to witness me sitting on the throne,” Kate said with a laugh. “I believe that is a good way to put it yes,” Mr. G. replied. “So I gather that you would like me to sit down on the throne,” she asked. “Will you please?,” Mr. G. said. Kate gave a sarcastic look but then stood up and said,” Sure, that is what I am here for, after all.” Kate stood up and adjusted her dress. She followed Mr. G. over to the giant flush. She took his hand as he helped her lower her bottom onto the toilet below. She moved her bottom into position , wrapping herself around the porcelain toilet seat below. She looked up at the larger toilet bowl above and laughed.
Mr. G. then took a plunger that was stood by the toilet. “Your sceptre, your majesty,” he said. “I could have used this a few months ago,” Kate kidded, referring to the story that she had told earlier in the evening. She took the plunger and held it in her hand. “Are you comfortable sitting on the throne?,” Mr. G. teased. “Oh yes, it feels just elegant to be sitting here on the throne,” she jokingly replied. “I have to say, it really suits you,” Mr. G. said. “I was always told I was born to sit on the throne,” Kate joked. The fact that the Duchess of Cambridge was now sitting on a toilet, with a giant toilet bowl situated above her head was something that the audience were just loving. Everyone thought that the situation was hilarious. Never mind, what was about to happen to Kate in a few short minutes. Everyone knew that the toilet would soon flush and a large amount of brown gunge would be getting poured down on the Duchess of Cambridge. This was going to be a moment to remember. Kate sat on the throne contemplating what was about to happen.
“So Kate, I don’t think that I need to explain what is going to happen do I?,” Mr. G. said. “No, I don’t think so. I have seen the giant flush before. I know how it works. Don’t worry,” she replied. Kate looked up and pointed up. “I am going to get it,” she mouthed. Mr. G. walked over to the giant flusher. “Ok, Kate, we are going to count down. On the count of three, the toilet will be flushed and then the magic happens,” Mr. G. said. “Are you ready Kate?,” he asked. Kate adjusted her dress and repositioned her body, perched on the toilet. She got herself ready. “I think that I am ready now,” she said with a smile. “Ok everyone, here we go. Get ready for what you are about to witness. Here we go,”
Everyone started to count down. “3...2...1” Mr. G. pulled the flusher down. Kate screwed up her face She shut her eyes. Every muscle in her body contracted. She blushed bright red. She braced herself for what was about to hit her. When the count down ended, Mr. G. pulled down on the giant flusher. The usual Giant Flush sounds then began. The sounds of farting and someone using the bathroom were heard, much to Kate’s amusement. This was followed by the sounds of a toilet flushing, Then there was a whoosh sound. Then sloppy brown gunge began to fall from the whole in the giant toilet seat that Kate sat under. It fell with a plopping sound. The first bit of brown gunge fell through the bowl. It was a relatively small amount at first. The first bit were a few brown globs of gunge that fell from above. They fell through the air and landed directly on the Duchess’ face. It fell in a long brown blob onto Kate’s forehead, sticking to her face, across part of her eyebrow and down her nose. It stuck in place on her face and dangled across her nose. Several more lumps of gunge fell from above landing on Kate’s face. They splattered across her mouth and cheeks. Her hair now getting splattered in brown muck. More fell, hitting her face and tumbling down her dress, sticking to her body.
The brown muck fell irregularly down onto Kate. Her knees and calves were hit with blobs of the brown gunge. She could feel the thick sloppy mess against her long legs. She held her hands out in front of her, catching some of the mess as it fell. She raised her shoulders. She laughed as it happened. Then suddenly the more watery, smoother gunge began to plop down on her. It poured down on her through the toilet seat above, straight down onto her face. The speed of the gunge picked up some now as well. The brown gunge poured down Kate’s face. She closed her eyes as her entire face and most of her head was showered in brown gunge. Gunge poured down the front of her dress, trashing the expensive but delicate material that it was made of. Her dress clung to her body. The brown muck overwhelmed her clothes. Her whole front was now dripping in brown mess. More poured down onto her lap and all over her legs. Some of the brown sloppy muck fell straight onto her thighs and bent knees. Her calves dripping in muck. Brown mess dripped down to her ankles and all over her expensive high heeled shoes. Brown muck was now everywhere. The velvet material and golden bits around the throne were stained with mucky brown splatter. The toilet that Kate sat on was also almost totally covered in the mucky brown sludge. The crowd roared with laughter as they watched the giant toilet getting flushed on one of the most famous people in the world.
Kate laughed at herself as she was flushed upon. Finally the gunge stopped as the last few thick bits fell from above and trickled down onto Kate below. Everyone gave her a huge round of applause as the gunge slowed to a stop. Kate took her hands and ran them over her face, wiping some of the brown mess from her eyes. She gritted her teeth as she cleaned some of the mess away. She bit her lip and laughed. She gave herself a messy clap. The globs of brown muck still stuck where they had been originally on Kate’s face. Her large white teeth and her eyes gleamed out of her now brown slop covered face. Her legs and dress slathered in brown gunge. She smiled and laughed. She could feel the thick sloppy mess all over her.
Mr. G. walked over to Kate. He bowed. “The throne defiantly suits you, your majesty,” he joked. “I think it is overflowing again,” Kate joked. She blushed and laughed. “Seriously though, how was that?,” he asked. “It was great, honestly. That was so much fun. It’s a badge of honour. It is so cool. It feels really good as well. I just love it.” “I wonder if this will start a new fashion trend,” Mr. G. joked. “I wouldn’t go that far. Probably not my best look,” Kate said. “How do I look,” she asked, posing in the mess on the toilet. “You never looked better,” Mr. G. replied. “That is what I would call a royal flush,” Kate joked. She then gave a funny face to indicate that she was aware of how corny that must have sounded. “Anyway, once again. I can not thank you enough. You have been so kind and such a good sport. And you look great covered in sloppy brown muck as well.” Kate leaned over and shook his hand. She then tried to pull him in closer. She rubbed her muck covered hands across the suit that he was wearing. He pulled away and laughed.
Kate smiled and laughed as the crowd applauded her. She was still covered in thick brown mess. She waived as the show ended. Slow motion replays were shown of the flushing. Most of the papers around the world the next day led with stories with titles such as “The duchess on the throne” and “Kate gets the royal flush”. She had a lot of explaining to do back at home, but no one could be too mad. It was just a bit of fun. All in all, Kate had a lot of fun and certainly proved that she was down to earth.
Monday, 4 June 2012
Stwnsh Sadwrn June 2,2012
Below is a link to the gallery for this Saturday's Stwnsh Sadwrn. It was quite good again. Part of me wishes that they would add to it or make it a bit different, just because it is the same every week, but hey, beggers can't be choosers.
http://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/stwnsh-sadwrn-june-2-2012/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)