Sunday 20 May 2012

Sarah Millican a discovery

Sarah Millican a discovery




Sarah Millican is a very funny person. She has started to become very successful and more and more well known. She is a very funny person and has quite a self deprecating sense of humour at times. She is willing to go out on a limb and to do some crazy things to get laughs if the situation called for it. She was not afraid to look silly in order to get people to laugh. She genuinely enjoyed seeing people get messy. She always thought of it as being quite funny. There was something about it that really intrigued her, but she was not sure what. She had never really heard of WAM as a fetish. She never thought of herself as that kind of person. She was completely unaware that she really was a closet wammer at heart. She did not realize this though. All she knew was that she thought it would be hilarious for her to get messed on television as part of one of the comedy shows she was asked to do. She thought to herself that this would be a great opportunity to try it out. Or a great excuse to try it out, depending on your point of view. During the writing and planning of the show, Sarah suggested including some mess in one of the episodes and everyone thought that it would be a good idea. She knew that she was not going to mind what was going to happen. She could not imagine how much she was going to actually enjoy what was going to happen.



The concept of the scene was quite simple. Sarah was going to stand on the stage and read a monologue telling jokes to the audience, as she had on her other television programmes. It would be just as normal, with one small exception. At key times during the monologue, she would have various messy things thrown at her. She would continue talking and telling jokes as though nothing had happened. It was going to be quite hilarious. This was going to be one of the very few times where a celebrity initiated getting messy off their own back. The whole concept was Sarah’s alone. Sarah knew that this was going to get loads of laughs. At the end of the day, that was what she was most interested in. She was also intending to stay covered in the mess for the remainder of the show and was going to act as though nothing was amiss. There was some minor concern from the producers of the show, but Sarah kept on reassuring them. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. It is going to be really funny,” she kept telling them, in her distinctive accent.



Sarah walked on stage in the studio. She was only slightly nervous. After all, in her profession, getting laughed at was considered quite a good thing. In fact, it was the goal. She wore a black button down blouse with a flower like pattern on it and a pair of stretch pants. Of course, she wore her trade mark glasses and looked as adorable as ever. She took her position and waited for her cue to come. She took a deep breath. She was more nervous about the reception that she would get than the actual mess. Her worst fear was complete silence. She just hoped that people would laugh. It would have been pretty disastrous to be on stage covered in mess, as a comedian and have no one laughing.



Sarah stood on stage and she was announced. The audience cheered for her. She bowed, smiled and waived, thanking them for their applause. “Oh god, I hope this works out ok,” she thought to herself. The opening music stopped and the applause died down. “Hello, everyone and welcome to my show. The show is all about tv. We all love tv don’t we. Today we will be talking about one of my favourite types of program, children’s television shows. I know I am a grown up, but I still love watching a lot of show meant for children. Maybe that is just me though. Maybe, I’m the only one.” Some of the members of the audience cheered. “Come on now, some shows that are meant for children are really fun for everyone to watch. I think the best kid’s show are ones that people of all ages can enjoy.”



“I suppose that some of the children’s shows are kind of a guilty pleasure for us adults. I bet all of you have sat at home watching cartoons. You are all just too embarrassed to admit it. Of course there is one thing on the telly that everyone loves to see, but no one wants to admit it. Of course, I am talking about tv game shows. Game shows where the losers get gunged. No one wants to admit it, but when something like that is on the telly, no one can change the channel. I mean how embarrassing, getting covered in gunge on national television with all of your friends and family watching. Can you imagine that.”



Sarah smiled and looked forward. At that moment a gigantic deluge of green gunge exploded from the ceiling above her. In an instant it fell from the air and landed on her head. It rained down over her face. Green gunge splashed straight down on her head. It hit her perfectly. She had figured out the prefect spot to stand on to ensure that the gunge hit her perfectly. It poured down onto her head. It splashed onto her nose and all over her glasses. Her glasses did not fall off of her nose, despite the shower of gunge that poured down on her. She looked blankly ahead as the gunge continued to pour down on her. It saturated her short blonde bob haircut. Gunge dripped from her chin and from her lips. It poured down her shoulders and soaked her blouse. Gunge poured down her front, covering her long shirt and down her back. Her clothes becoming quickly covered in sloppy green gunge. She maintained a serious look throughout because she felt that would be more funny. Her face was half covered in the sloppy gunge. As the gunge came to a stop. Sarah had gotten her wish, the audience had roared with laughter as they watched her getting covered in gunge. Now, as the flow of the gunge stopped, they gave her a round of applause. She gave a little smile. “So yeah, it must be so embarrassing,” she joked. “Hi to all my friends and family watching at home. They must be so proud.” She laughed She wiped some of the gunge from her glasses. The audience roared with laughter. She then removed her glasses and used one of the clean areas left on her blouse to clean the gunge from them. She then placed them back on her face. She was still totally covered in gunge. Gunge was dripping everywhere from her body. A puddle of gunge was collecting beneath her feet.



She then went on with what she was saying, still dripping in slimy gunge. “And you know, it is not just gunge, sometimes people get a pie in the face as well. I can’t begin to imagine what that must feel like. To have a pie smashed in your face by total stranger on national television like that. It’s shocking, isn’t it.” At this point someone walked from the side of stage carrying a creamy pie. They smiled and waived cheekily at the audience. They gave a cheer. Sarah stood in place, trying not to react very much. The youngish woman walked across the stage and up to Sarah. Sarah looked up at the audience and rolled her eyes. She then gave a muted smile. The woman leaned back and then thrust her hand forward, smashing the pie in Sarah’s face with a thud. She rubbed it round and round in Sarah’s face as the audience laughed hysterically. She pushed it into Sarah’s face with some force and speed, smushing it everywhere. When she was done, she just walked away in the opposite direction, leaving the pie tin stuck to Sarah’s face. The crowd applauded. Sarah stood there in place covered in pie for a minute while the audience applauded. When the time was right she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. This caused the pie tin to fall from her face land with a splat on the floor. She gave a smile and licked her lips. Her face and glasses were encased in pie. A blob of the pie stuck to her nose. Her glasses were covered in vestiges of pie. Her hair was coated in places with whipped cream from the pie. Her beautiful blonde bob looked even better half covered in pie. She remained with the serious look on her face for a bit more. She then looked up with a smile and laughed. “I can confirm. It feels, bloody brilliant. I recommend it to anyone really. You have no idea,” she joked. The audience joined her in laughter. She cleared some of the pie off of the top of her blouse. “I think it quite suits me really,” she joked.



“Of course, sometimes on game shows, it is not just gunge or pies that people are hit with. Oh no, sometimes they are even hot with various types of food believe it or not,” she said. The audience held their breath, wondering what might be thrown Sarah’s way next. “ Yeah, sometimes they throw all sorts of stuff on people don’t they. All sorts of food and stuff. You just wonder what it would feel like. For example, as you may all know, I really love beans on toast. Sometimes, I wonder what the toast feels like, being covered with all them beans you know. It would be quite interesting to..” At that moment, the crowd winced. Sarah looked up in the air. As she looked up, tons of baked beans began to rain down on her from the ceiling above. They started off slowly, pouring down almost one by one, hitting her in the face. The first wave of beans fell down and hit her down the front of the face. Beans poured down onto her glasses, nose and her mouth. Then the flow increased in its speed. Beans splashed down on her forehead. She closed her eyes and mouth and looked up. A gigantic amount of beans poured forth, landing with a splat on her face. Sarah’s whole face was instantly covered in inches of thick baked beans, much to the crowds approval. They roared with laughter. Sarah’s reaction to the mess was just as funny as the mess itself. She leaned forward and allowed the beans to continue to fall from her face. Beans poured down her head and stuck to her hair. The beans did not just pour on her head, they now poured onto other parts of her body and her clothing as well. Beans poured down over her bum as well her breasts and her stomach. She could feel them pouring down her neck and down her back. Baked beans in their orange sauce made their way down Sarah’s body. She dripped in baked beans from head to toe. The puddle that had been accumulating below her was now gigantic in circumference. Eventually, the beans slowed and finally came to a stop with the last few remaining beans left dripping down onto Sarah’s head. Beans stuck all over her face and her glasses now. The audience could not help but laugh at her.



She looked down at feet and then forward. She tried to hold a serious look, despite the beans that were stuck all over her face, clothes and body. She could feel baked beans inside her clothes now. They soaked her clothing as well as her underwear now. She wiggled her arms and legs, shaking of some of the excess baked beans that covered her. She stuck her index finger up in the air. “Well,” she said knowingly. “I now know what a piece of toast feels like in beans on toast,” the audience laughed. “ It feels, well, soggy,” she laughed. “It’s not bad actually. I don’t know quite how to describe it, moving on,” she said.



“What else?,” she asked herself out loud, tapping her index finger against her chin. “Well, custard. Custard is quite popular isn’t it? I’ve seen a lot of custard poured over people in the past. I think that looks the most fun don’t you? It looks like it might feel quite nice. It’s quite smooth and soft and silky. It seems like it might be quite nice. Again, I think I am probably the only one,” she said. Everyone laughed. She shrugged her shoulders. She looked downward. At that moment, a splattering sound was heard from above. Sarah shook her head and smiled. At that moment, a wave of lovely custard fell from the ceiling above and was also tossed at Sarah from below. This time she just closed her eyes and took in the moment. The custard fell from the sky until it hit Sarah. It hit her on the top of the head and splattered in all directions off of her body. It poured down the front of her face. Soon, the whole top of Sarah’s head was consumed by custard. She stood there in that one spot and barely moved a muscle, apart from shuffling her feet a bit. The custard made its way down her body, almost completely covering her shoulders and breasts. Her blouse was overcome by thick yellowy custard. It flowed down the front and the back of her slacks, pouring down her. It was just as smooth and silky as she had described. When it had finally ceased eighty percent of Sarah was totally covered in custard. The audience roared in laughter and applause. When it finally stopped, Sarah took her hands and flicked away some of the custard from her fringe. She budged a smile and looked at the audience making a semi sexy face. “Was it as good for you as it was for me,” she said, but started laughing. Everyone applauded.



Sarah gave a bow. She wiped off some of the custard, but then continued on with the rest of the show as if she was not covered in mess. She sat at the couch and called out a guest. Her guests tried to keep a straight face. She kept telling them to just ignore the custard. Like a trooper she did the rest of the show in that state. Later, she had to admit to herself that she had really enjoyed what had just happened to her. She never even knew it could be possible, but she had enjoyed that evening more than she could have ever imagined.

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