Sunday 19 August 2012

Louise Redknapp football wager

Louise Redknapp football wager




Louise Redknapp is married to footballer Jamie Redknapp. Louise was involved in children’s television quite a bit while Jamie was off playing football matches. At one point Louise was appearing on a Saturday morning children’s show at the same time that Jamie was on the pitch for his team. Louise was always talking to her colleagues about Jamie’s team and how good they were. Her husband’s exploits on the football pitch was one of Louise’s favourite topics. She used to discuss it incessantly. It became a bit of a running joke on the show. The banter about this led to a bit of an on air bet. It was decided that since Louise’s husband had a match the following week during the taping of the show, that a bet should be made on the results of that match. If Jamie’s team happened to lose the match, Louise agreed to get gunged. She was nervous, but had a lot of fate in her husband.



The show began and Louise came out. She was dressed in her husband’s football kit. She wore his white jersey and a pair of blue shorts. They were in her size but slightly larger, as she was not the largest woman. She walked out and gave a little wave. He had a nervous looking smile on her face. She was interviewed at the beginning of the show. “So Louise, if your husband’s team does not win their match today you will have to pay the ultimate price. What are your thoughts about that?,” one of her fellow presenters asked her. “Well, I feel confident. I have faith in my husband and his team mates. They won’t let me down. I just know it,” she replied. “Come on guys,” she said, cheering them on.



Throughout the show, updates on the match were read out along with Louise’s reactions. The match was very close. There was no score for most of the match. Louise became more and more worried as the time passed. She did not want to end up covered in mess. She felt that she was the one with the most riding on the match. The players might have disagreed with her on this point. Everyone knew that the match was nearing its conclusion. Everyone was eager to see what the latest update would be. The show went over to Louise and her fellow presenter. “Now for our latest update,” the other presenter said,” I can tell you, will five minutes left in the match, it was all tied up at no goals for both sides. At that point the opposite team smashed in a goal, making the game one to nothing with less than five minutes to go.” Louise screamed, “Noooo! Dam,” with her mouth falling wide open. She knew that her chances of escaping clean were now slim to none. She had to pray that her husband’s team could manage an equaliser in such a short amount of time. She would have to sweat it out.



She was not allowed to watch the match so was kept in the dark the whole time. Finally the end of the show came. “Ok everyone,” the other presenter said,” I know what is on all our mind is the results of the football match earlier. I can now reveal that Louise’s husband’s team….did not manage to come back. The final score was one to nothing.” Louise laughed and shook her head. “I can’t believe it,” she said. “That, brings us to a little matter of the bet,” the presenter said. “And what bet would that be?,” Louise asked. “I don’t recall any bet being made,” she said. “Well the gunge tank behind you might serve to give you a little clue,” the other presenter said. “Oh that bet, you know, it completely slipped my mind. I don’t think anyone really wants to see that do they,” she said comically. “I don’t know. What do you think guys?,” they asked the audience. The audience cheered its approval and started to chant, “gunge her, gunge her” “Does that answer your question?,” the presenter asked. Louise just giggled.



Louise was accompanied over to the tank. She sat down and the door was closed behind her. She smiled and wrinkled up her nose. She took both hands and smoothed out the ends of her hair. The presenter stepped out and took his place. “Louise, your husband’s team did not win and now you have to pay the consequences.” “I know, I will get him later for this,” she joked,” He is going to love this. I am sure that he always has wanted to do this. I am not easy to live with,” she teased. “I suspect that you will be even worse to live with for the next few weeks after this,” the presenter said. “You got that right,” Louise laughed.



“Ok then, here we go everybody. This is going to be fun.” Louise tapped her hands on the door of the tank and begged,” Please, don’t do this.” The presenter looked at her and then said simply, “Sorry”. The tank was a large one, but it was calibrated to set off a chain reaction of messiness when the release button was pushed. Louise did not really know what to expect, but she knew that it would soon be all over. She knew that she was about to get covered.



“Ok everyone, on the count of three, Louise is going to receive her punishment. Everyone help me out,” the presenter said. Everyone started to count. “ Three….two…one!” The presenter pressed the button. A loud buzzer sound went off in the studio and some flashing lights started beaming around the studio. It sounded like someone had pushed a self destruct button. Louise closed her eyes and contorted her neck, waiting for what was about to happen. With that a few, boing, noises were heard and, from somewhere inside the tank, pies flew through the air at Louise. She could not put her hands in front of her fast enough. The first one slammed into the side of her face. It stuck in place for a moment, leaving a trail of sticky white cream on Louise’s hair and her cheek on that side of her face. It only really covered the back and side of her head at this point. She screamed and laughed. Another flew through the air and smashed onto her chest. It bounced into her breasts and then slowly fell down her football jersey, leaving a trail of chocolate and cream as it went, finally landing on her lap and then, finally on the floor beneath her.



In quick succession more pies were fired at Louise. Then next one flew through the air and hit her full on it the face. It almost knocked the wind from her for a moment. She had to catch her breath. The pie tin stuck to her face. It knocked the previous tin loose though. It stuck in place for a moment, before falling when the next pie smashed into Louise. This time it landed square between her legs. As she was in the tank and no one could really see below her waist, she had not crossed her legs, not expecting to be nailed with a pie. The pie collided with her shorts. It covered her shorts and her tummy in cream. When the last pie fell from her face, it revealed that her hair was matted across her face. Her face was covered in thick yellow custard and white whipped cream. She stuck her chin up and licked her lips giving a little smiled.



Just when the pies seemed to stop coming, Louise heard a bubbling sound from her sides and beneath her. She looked around to see where the noise was coming from. Her head darted around in all directions. Unfortunately, she could not see very well that this moment in time, because her vision was slightly, momentarily impaired by the cream and custard that covered her face and hair. The bubbling sound began to get louder. Then all of a sudden, from below and from the sides, jets, like those in some kind of jacuzzi exploded in her direction with a spray of multicoloured foamy mess. The substance was somewhere between silly string and foam from a foam party at a nightclub. Jets fired the substance from Louise at either side of her. They sprayed between her arms, all over her chest and across part of her face. Another jet fired straight up in the air. It seemed to be aimed at her crotch and stomach. The stream of foamy mess fired irregularly at Louise in all directions. She laughed, screamed and squealed. She waived her hands about in an effort to try to deflect some of the foamy mess that was coming her way. It did very little good, because even when she managed to deflect some of the mess, it had nowhere to go because of the tank that she was in so, it just splattered all over another area of the tank and her body. The mess was also coming from all directions so there was very little that could be done to avoid its force.



If this wasn’t enough, the foamy mess that was on the bottom of the tank seemed to be getting higher all the time. It soon became apparent that the tank was filling with mess from the bottom up. Louise looked down and saw that the foamy mess had already risen to a level that just about reached her knees. She splashed around in it and stomped her feet. Eventually it stopped filling when it was about one quarter of the way up the tank. Soon another loud buzzer went off the same as the one that had gone off previously.



Louise laughed and raised her shoulders. She closed her eyes and looked up in the air. When she looked up, she was greeted with an enormous blob of pink gunge that fell straight down on her from above. In a moment her face was splashed with pink gunge. She shook her head and tried to look forward. The gunge did not cease there. The first bit was just the beginning. The gung poured down on her for what seemed like ages. It continued to pour and pour. Her blonde hair and face were soon totally covered in gunge. She closed her eyes and gave a pained look as the gunge poured down over her. It seemed like it would pour forever. The gunge soon soaked her football jersey, turning it pink, perhaps to stay that way forever. Her jersey was totally soaking in gunge. Gunge poured down her back and all over her shorts. Her lap was soon filled with tons of gunge. The gunge also made the level of the mess in the tank rise even more. It was now almost to Louise’s bellybutton. She shook her head. She was overwhelmed the amount of mess that was now piled in the tank all around her. When the gunge finally trickled to a stop, she was out of breath from laughing so hard. She screamed and laughed as the gunge trickled to its end.



Louise ran her hands over her face and then up through her hair. She pushed some of the layers of gunge off, pushing her fingers through her hair. She pushed the gunge away, clearing her eyes and her forehead. She laughed again, but then gave some sad, puppy dog eyes. Everyone gave her a round of applause. She bowed and gave a courteous little waive. She smiled as the slime continues to drip down her face from above. She wiggled her hands and rubbed her knees. She bowed as everyone gave her a round of applause.



“I am going to kill my husband when I get back home. He better not laugh at me, that is all I am saying. He did this to me. Jamie honey, if you are watching, you are going to get it. Don’t be surprised if you hear from my lawyer. Not really, it isn’t his fault at all. They did all they could and I am proud of him and his team. He just better not enjoy this too much,” she said, pointing at the camera.



The show then ended as Louise waived a messy goodbye, still inside the tank.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry I haven't commented here in a while. It's always great to read a story about the lovely Louise. I'll never quite get the over the time she appeared on Noel's House Party in a steaming-hot leather catsuit... and didn't go anywhere near the gunge.

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  2. She is one of those women who always seemed to manage to avoid the mess, it used to be quite frustrating. That is why people used to think that some of those things were rigged I think.

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