Kim Delaney Slaw and Order

 

Kim Delaney Slaw and Order

Kim Delaney was a very good actress. She was one of the central characters on the original Law and Order. The show was very successful. There was many spinoffs. Somehow, even though it aired on network television, the show featured nudity, for some reason. Kim was one of the only female officers on the show. Although for the most part, she was treated as an equal, it was still very noticeable that she was a very attractive woman working with mostly men. They all secretly would think naughty thoughts about her.

The men on set concocted a charity fundraiser that was really just a thinly veiled excuse to get Kim completely messy. They set it up so everyone on set would get to donate money to vote for which cast member they wanted to see get covered with mess. The person with the most money and votes would end up getting messed. Kim did not realize that all of the guys were going to be voting for her. It was not going to be close.

All the money was counted and it was time to announce the unlucky winner. Kim wore a pair of tight fitting trousers and blazer combination. When it came time to announce who would be getting messy, she noticed that many of her co-stars were looking her way, snickering and whispering under their breath. She started to feel a bit nervous. When her name was announced and everyone began to celebrate, she puffed her cheeks out and sputtered her lips. She felt very hot and sweaty all of a sudden. She ran her hands through her hair and flipped it back as she was lead over to the hot seat. She sat down and crossed her legs. She looked very tense and uncomfortable. She looked up and grimaced as she saw two of her colleagues approaching carrying a large pot.

In the pot was multi coloured tortellini. Some of it was green, pink and orange. It almost looked purple from a distance. As she looked up, she could see that the tortellini was coming her way. She tried to tuck her head in, but her reaction time was not quick enough. The deluge of heavy pasta and sauce poured down over her head, some sticking to her dark curly hair. More of the sauce washed down her body, all over her pants. Thick sauce and pasta stuck all over her body and face.

As the brought out last week’s tuna casserole, she began to realize where this stuff was coming from. It was coming from catering services. The leftovers from that week’s lunch service was being systematically poured all over her. The tuna casserole smelled horrendous. It was cold and gloppy. There was all matter of stuff in there from bowtie pasta to corn to tuna. She made a disgusted face as the casserole was dumped all over her. Chunks of it rained down upon her, falling everywhere.

She tried to scrunch her body up as much as she could, but it was difficult to avoid that much sloppy mess. Next she would be treated to the remains of the eggplant Parmesan from Tuesday. Kim shrugged her shoulders as everyone cheered and howled in laughter as the actors poured the sloppy mess over her. This was the type of eggplant that had all that clear mushy stuff and seeds in it. Kim would come to know it intimately as she could feel it crawling down the back of her neck, inside her shirt and all over her bra and back. A huge hunk stuck to one side of her head as they made sure to pour some inside her top. She could feel it all over her back and stomach. More oozed down inside the back of her pants.

She then closed her eyes and lowered her chin as her colleagues were handed rotten vegetables to hurl at her. They flew from all directions, exploding as they hit her, splashing all over her. Tomatoes, eggplants etc. were thrown at her along with some rotten eggs. Someone else then dumped a huge bowl filled with rotten salad in a ranch dressing over her head. Her entire body ending up covered in bits of spoiled produce.

The job was finished when everyone joined together to toss containers of expired coleslaw all over Kim. They each got there chance to serve it up to her. Even the other female cast members did not miss their chance to dump coleslaw over her head. Before long, she was dripping in the foul smelling slaw.

She rubbed her hands down her legs and attempted to dislodge some of the lettuce from her hair as she watched everyone else celebrate her messy demise, much to her embarrassment.