Saturday 22 October 2011

Keira Knightley vs. Natalie Portman results

Keira Knightley vs. Natalie Portman results




Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman are two pretty big Hollywood stars. It was a surprise that they agreed to appear on Let Her Have It. They also allowed themselves to be put up for the vote. Part of the reason that this happened was that both women were not that familiar with the show. Natalie hadn’t even heard of the show before. The two were serious actresses and were oblivious to a lot of what was going on outside their own little worlds. When they did find out what the show was all about, it was too late to back out. They both just hoped that the events of the show would not get back to Hollywood. Both had worked long and hard to earn reputations as serious actresses, getting trashed with gunge and food would not do much to enhance their reputations in the thespian world.



Keira and Natalie, for some reason, dressed up for the show. Keira wore a strapless grey dress and Natalie wore a brown dress. Keira’s hair was back. Natalie wore hers down. The two got to talking before the show. “Keira, they put us up for a vote, one of us is going to get slimed,” Natalie whispered. “Yeah I know, we’re British though. We love a bit of gunge. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, actually. I think that it will definitely be getting it this evening,” “No offence, but I hope you are right,” Natalie said. “Gee, thanks,” Keira kidded and laughed.



Mr. G. opened the show in the usual manner and welcomed the two actresses onto the show. They each entered from opposite sides and took seats on sofas each side of the set. Mr. G. sat on one in the centre. It was set up like a talk show set, like on Jonathan Ross’s show. They all sat down and had a chat. “So, welcome to the show,” Mr. G. said. “Thanks for having us,” Keira said. “So, we all know what the show is about,” Mr. g. asked. “We do now,” Natalie blurted out. “I had no idea,” she said. “So you two now know what is on the line here?,” Mr. G. asked. “Oooooh yeah!,” Keira exclaimed. “A whole lot of mess and gunge and all that good stuff,” Keira said. The crowd cheered. “Yes that is right, for one of you ladies. People have been voting for who they want to see getting messy between you two. Any thoughts?” “Well, what can I say,” Keira said,” I just have a funny feeling it’s going to end up being me. I don’t know why.” “I hope she is right. I really do not want to be the unlucky one,” Natalie said. “This would be all my agent’s fault if things go wrong,” she joked. “Well, it is going to become an all too real reality for one of you two in only a few short minutes. Who will be the unlucky one? We will all find out together, after the break,” Mr. G. said.



When the show returned from break, everyone was sat where they were before. Everyone applauded, including Keira. “So, does everyone want to know who got the most votes and who will be safe?,” Mr. G. asked. The crowd cheered yes. Keira and Natalie sheepishly pleaded no. “Can we stall for time,” Keira asked. “Um, that would be a no,” Mr. G. said. “Damn,” she said and laughed. “Well, the audience want the results and I am sure our viewers do and beside, we only have so much time, so I am afraid it is results time ladies. Here we go.” The lights were dropped and there was near silence in the studio. Keira put her hands together and scrunched up her face, almost begging audibly for it not to be her. Natalie closed her eyes and stared at her feet. “Ok everyone,” Mr. G. said,” Our results. Our winner with…63 percent of our votes is…” He paused for effect and to build tension. Keira as sweating almost hyperventilating. She closed her eyes tightly. “ The woman who will face the mess this evening is…Keira Knightley.” The crowd cheered its approval. Natalie just breathed a sigh of relief. Keira blushed and laughed with embarrassment. Her nose scrunched up and her mouth open. She screamed “Noooo!” She was turning bright red. “So, Keira,” Mr. G. said calmly. “How are we feeling.” Keira nodded and licked her lips. “I’m disappointed, only 63 percent. Come on guys, I thought I would get more than that. You guys are slackers. No, seriously, this is going to be so embarrassing. I can only imagine what you must have planned for me. Ii don’t suppose there is anything I can say or do to get out of this.” “No, begging won’t work.” “I’m down on my knees. Please, please, please,” Keira said. “I don’t suppose we could make a deal. I can make it worth your while,” she kidded. “Sorry, Keira, but I, like everyone else here, want to see you get messy.” “Well, I guess I can’t let everyone down. Fine then I will take whatever you can dish out. It’s fine really I am ok with it now.” She pointed at Natalie. “I told you that you had nothing to worry about,” Keira said with a laugh, stroking her legs. “This is going to be an embarrassing evening for miss Keira Knightley. Join us after the break to witness this. You are not going to want to miss this. Trust me,” Mr. G. said. The break started while everything was set up for Keira.



The show returned from break to find everyone still sat where they were before. “Before the break, we learned that the person with the most votes and the one who will be receiving the mess will be none other than the lovely Keira Knightley,” Mr. G. explained. The crowd cheered and Keira bowed and laughed. “So, I think we are all ready. Are you ready Keira?,” he asked. She made a funny face and shook her head, no. She waived her hands comically. “Oh, ok,” she said. “I’m as ready as I will ever be, I suppose,” she replied. Mr. G. stood up and extended his hands to Keira. She took his hands, but instead of letting herself be pulled up, she stood firm, almost pulling him down with her. She laughed, but eventually gave in. She stood up and followed him. “Natalie, you can come too. You can help us administer the punishment on Keira,” he said. Natalie Portman stood up and followed the two over to the other side of the stage.



“Ok everyone, we have a brand new device today all set up. Keira will have the honour of being the first one to have been in it,” Mr. G. said. “Oh, I am so honoured,” Keira joked. Mr. G. revealed the device and then began to explain how it worked. “Keira will be seated in this lovely chair here. It is slightly elevated as you can see and is a very special adjustable seat. The seat adjustment is controlled by this device over here. When used it will moved the seat. Just in front of the seat is this rather large vat which contains a disgusting multicoloured gunge and probably some other various items, floating around in it. When adjusted, the seat will slowly inch the person sitting on it closer and closer to the vat, eventually dropping them into it. If that was not enough you will notice that there is another lever as well. This lever controls a vat that is stationed high in the air. When the right lever is pulled the vat will come forward and tip. There are also several other buttons and levers here that will set off some other surprises,” Mr. G explained. The whole thing looked like a gigantic complex machine or something out of a mad scientist’s laboratory. Keira just looked at it pensively. “All this high tech technology. Couldn’t she just pour a bucket of gunge over my head and be done with it?,” Keira giggled. Mr. G. took her hand and helped her into place. She took her seat, slightly elevated. It was a bit of a strange feeling because the machine was going to be messing her. She pulled a fake frightened face as she looked down at the vat just below her.



Mr. G. joined Natalie. He explained to her what buttons and levers to use at what time. Natalie got herself ready. Keira waived to everyone and laughed. “Ok everyone, here we go,” Mr. G. said. Lights and buzzers suddenly went off. There was lots of fake noises that made it sound like the machine was doing all sorts of things. Parts in the background started turning and moving and spinning. Keira tried to hold onto the seat. She screwed up her face as she awaited what was going to happen. “Ok Natalie, pump her up,” Mr. G. said. Natalie started pushing one of the levers. As she pushed it, the chair that Keira sat in clicked as it moved forward. Keira squealed and tightened her muscles as she felt it pump forward. Natalie pushed the lever again, moving Keira closer to the vat of gunge. Natalie pumped it again. The chair was turning at an angle. It was clear the soon it would be horizontal and Keira would be pushed forward straight into the gunge. Natalie pushed again. The angle of the chair was now very severe. The tension rose. Keira could barely hang on. Every muscle in her body was tense. Her butt cheeks were clenched trying to cling on to the seat as best she could. She was quite literally on the edge of her seat. Her face was a picture. She clutched the arms of the chair, barely hanging on. She knew that at any moment she would lose grip and be sent forward into the vat. The crowd’s anticipation grew. Natalie cranked down firmly on the lever. Keira was pushed with a slight jolt off the chair forward into the vat of gunge. She disappeared into it. She fell face first into the face. After a second, her head pushed it’s way out of the vat. It was dripping in brown gunge completely. She wiped her face with her hand and spit out a mouthful of the gunge. She laughed at herself. Her face was bathed in brown slop. She sat on her bottom in the vat . The gunge covered her about up to her breasts. Her dress was all but knocked off. There was very little holding it on in the first place. She now swam in a vat of gunge.



Mr. G. instructed Natalie to start pulling the next lever. As she did, another vat that was in the air, that looked like part of a dump truck began to crack itself forward. It made a loud construction type sound and as it moved forward and then started tipping. Natalie continued to crank it, now laughing and beginning to really enjoy what she was doing to her fellow actress. She gave the lever one last push. When she did it finally tipped. The contents of the vat rolled out and fell directly into the vat that Keira sat in. Piles of household waste fell from the air and rained over Keira. She shut her eyes as giant amounts of the mess fell onto her. It filled the vat even more. It was explained that the machine was all perfectly tuned to perfectly cover the person who was subjected to it. Keira laughed but took her hands and cleared some of the mess from her face and tried to throw it in Natalie’s direction, but missed terribly.



Natalie was now allowed to push some of the other buttons. She pushed one and a pie was sent from a mechanical arm straight into Keira’s face. The arm was spring loaded and hurled the pie at her. Natalie laughed and quickly pushed the other buttons. Keira barely had time to react, as Natalie pushed the buttons one after another. Each time she pushed one, another pie was hurled through the air from a mechanical arm straight at Keira. Not all of them hit her head on, but she bombarded with a barrage of pies in quick succession.



Keira had barely recovered from this when Natalie was shown another group of buttons. Natalie pushed the first one. This time a plate of gunge was sent from a catapult through the air and landed on Keira’s head with some velocity. Natalie pushed three more and the same thing happened from other catapults. Keira could only sit there as the plates collided with her, sending gunge everywhere. She could barely see what was happening now.



Next Natalie was shown a sort of wheel to turn. Natalie turned it. As she did, four hoses emerged from behind Keira. As Natalie turned the wheel again, the hoses sprayed foamy cream all over Keira, covering her in foamy glop. It poured onto her head and down her back. The hoses also spun around, criss crossing Keira in creamy mess.



Natalie then pushed down on a plunger. With that, confetti and feathers rained down from another vat in the top of the machine. It fell onto Keira sticking everywhere. Celebratory music played and lights flashed as it rained down over her and the vat. Finally everything stopped. Keira took her hand and cleared her eyes. Mr. G. walked over to her with the microphone. She was out of breath and covered from head to toe in the mess that had come at her. “Well,” Keira said with a pause,” That was interesting,” she laughed. “I don’t know if I enjoyed that or not. It was kind of fun though. You certainly let me have it. Thanks to everyone who voted. I don’t know what to say.” Mr. G. shook Keira’s hand. She smiled and waived as she was applauded.

2 comments:

  1. Surprised you've never gotten round to giving Natalie a gunging. Would love to see a follow-up or new story where she finally gets it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. that's really weird you say that, because I am writing one at the moment and am 90% done with it.

    ReplyDelete