Monday 11 February 2013

Eva Longoria vs. her Ex

Eva Longoria vs. her Ex




Eva Longoria was at one time married to Tony Parker. At some point they decided to go their separate ways. The divorce was not a messy one but Eva had still been a real pain to Tony at times. A bit of time had past and everything was ok between the two. Some time later, it came to pass that both of them were individually asked to appear on a television program. Neither knew that the other one would be there. It was not unusual, so both agreed to appear, but they had no idea what was planned for them on this occasion. The idea of the show was around ex partners.



Eva wore one of her short, tight fitting black dress. She was brought out on the show first and was engaged in some chit chat. She was then told that they had a surprise for her. They told her to welcome her ex husband to the show. She put her hands over her mouth and laughed. She blushed. He came in smiling and waiving. Eva stood up and shook his hand. They sat back down in their seats. “Funny seeing you here,” Eva sat. She looked at him incredulously, wondering what he was doing there. It was awkward to be sure. She stopped short of asking him what was going on.



“So,” the host said,” Our theme today is ex’s. Tony and Eva are ex partners. We are going to play a little game today with you two. We will ask Tony five questions about himself. Then we will ask Eva to guess what Tony answered. It is a test to see how well you know each other. There will be a prize though. If Eva is able to get three or more correct she will win. If she wins she will get to pour some mess on her ex husband’s head.” Eva clapped and laughed. “On the other hand, if she is unable to answer three or more correct, Tony will be pouring the mess onto Eva’s head.” Tony stuck his tongue out and laughed. They looked at each other. It sounded fair so they both agreed. Eva laughed. It sounded a bit fun, but she really didn’t want to lose either. It was going to be interesting.



Tony was taken backstage to answer the questions. Eva waited onstage. He returned eventually and was welcomed back. Eva smiled raised her face in an expression of nervousness. “Ok Eva, are you ready for this?,” the host asked. “I sure hope so, or I am in big trouble,” she replied. “Ok, we asked your ex five questions. Let’s see how well you know him.”



The host asked Eva the first question about Tony. It was to do with where he grew up. She knew bits and pieces about this, but it was a specific question about the town that he was born in. She gave a good guess at the answer. “Tony, was that the correct answer?,” the host asked. “No, it was not,” Tony replied with a chuckle. Eva giggled. “Oh well, it was a good try,” she joked. She laughed and licked her lips. “So, Eva got question one wrong. Let’s move on to question two.”



The second question was about Tony’s mother’s maiden name. Again, Eva did not know what it was specifically so had to make a guess. This time it was announced that Eva was wrong again. “No, sorry Eva,” Tony said. They both laughed. Eva put her head in her hands and shook it. “So that is two to nothing for Tony. Eva will have to get the rest correct in order to make a come back.” “Hey, I can still come back, this is not over yet,” she laughed.



The third question was about Tony’s favourite food. This time she managed to get it correct. She pumped her fist. “Yes, that’s one for me,” she laughed. “So, we are two to one in favour of Tony right now. Eva is making a come back, but is it too little too late? We will soon see. Let’s move on to question number four,” the host said.



The fourth question was about Tony’s favourite colour. Eva quickly jumped in. She was sure that she knew the answer. She looked at the host. “That’s right isn’t it?” “Is that your final answer?,” the host asked. “Yes, I am sure that is the answer.” “A lot is riding on this. This could mean the game and the mess. Was your guess correct?,” he paused for dramatic effect. Everyone knowing what it would mean if she was wrong. “The answer is incorrect. Sorry Eva.” Everyone began laughing. “Oh yeah, that was someone else’s favourite colour. Damn. I am screwed aren’t I?,” she joked. “Just a little,” the host said.



“Eva, you did not manage to get three of the answers correct, so you have lost the game. That means that Tony is going to get to pour mess all over your head. What do you think of that?,” the host asked. “Just..just lovely,” she said with a laugh. “This is so embarrassing.” Tony was going to get to get his revenge on his sexy ex wife. She looked amazing her tanned toned body poured into her sleek black short dress. Her silky black hair down the sides of her lovely face with her beautiful cheek bones. He was going to truly enjoy doing this to his former partner. “I think I kind of deserve this,” she joked, “He is going to love each and every second of this I can guarantee that for sure,” she said, “This is why we got divorced,” she joked. “How many men out there would love to get a chance to do this to their ex wives?,” the host said. “Most of them,” Eva chimed in. It was becoming clear one of the issues that may have effected Eva and Tony’s marriage, Eva continued chattering on. Tony had barely said a word throughout the whole show so far. It was very clear who wore the pants in this relationship. Most of the people in the audience were now very sympathetic towards him. Seeing him being overpowered by his ex-wife. She wasn’t doing it on purpose, it was just her nature. “I’m going to kill you Tony,” she joked, pointing at her ex husband.



Tony, in the meantime, was looking at some very interesting buckets full of various substances. He was going to enjoy doing this. He approached her from behind carrying the first bucket. “Now Tony, we know that you would never ever choose to do something like this, if we weren’t asking you. I am sure that you feel really bad about this, don’t you?” “Oh yeah, I’m totally heartbroken,” he said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. Everyone laughed. “Don’t believe that for a second. He is loving every minute of this,” Eva said.



“Well, you won the game and now you get to the honours. When you are ready, let your ex have it,” the host said. Tony smiled. He lifted the bucket in the air. Eva scrunched up her face tightly. She bit her lip and made a worried noise. He lifted the bucket and aimed it at his ex wife’s head. The bucket was filled with spaghetti hoops in thick sauce. It merged into a disgusting looking orange colour. Tony let everyone know what was inside the bucket just before he began to pour it onto Eva’s head. The sloppy orange messy rolled its way out of the massive bucket straight down onto Eva’s shiny and very dry black hair. It poured onto the top of her head. She grimaced as she felt the spaghetti pour onto the top of her head. It then made its way down her forehead and then down the front of her face and her nose. It then poured down the sides of her face, covering the majority of her hair in the process. She let out a wail and made a funny face as she came face to face with the spaghetti hoops. The orange mess looked perfect against her dark brown skin and on her sleek and silky black hair. Eva’s face was not totally covered , so her facial expressions could still be seen and they were hilarious. As the spaghetti hoops poured, gravity took then down onto her shoulders and chest. Then some rolled down her stomach and onto her lap. She moved her hands back and forth across her dress and legs. Tony laughed as he took pleasure in messing up his talkative ex-wife. The larger blobs of the spaghetti hoops made their own way down Eva’s face and body. She bent her neck and looked backwards, laughing and blushing. Everyone laughing at her predicament.



Tony wasted no time in grabbing the second bucket. This one was filled with guacamole. It was thick, sloppy and very green. Tony knew that it was one of Eva’s favourites, so he was going to take pleasure in serving it to her in a much more satisfying way. He uttered the word, ”Guacamole” in a silly voice. Everyone, including Eva laughed. She was really showing quite a good sense of humour about the whole thing, considering what was happening to her. He turned the bucket over onto her quickly. The guacamole was so thick, however, that it did not fall out of the bucket straightaway. It stuck where it was for a moment. Tony had to assist it with his hand slightly. He smacked the bottom of the container a few times, until the thick green mess finally fell. It made a short trip through the air and onto Eva’s head. Eva licked her lips as the massive glob of green mess plopped down onto her head. In an instant the top half of her head was covered in the green mess. She was totally covered from the bottom of her nose upwards, as if she had been pied with the guacamole. She took both of her hands on pushed them into the tick mass of green mess that covered half of her face. She shoved them in and removed some of it. She then wiped it off onto her breasts and the front of her dress. She had to wipe hard because of the thickness of the guacamole. It stuck to everything. She then did this a second time, this time wiping the mess onto her lap and legs.



By this time Tony already had a bucket of cheese sauce ready for her. The nacho cheese would make the perfect compliment to the guacamole that was already all over Miss Longoria. She was about to get cheesed. “I can’t believe this,” she said, her words muffled by guacamole. “ I am going to look like a human nacho.” Tony began to pour the thick, smooth, orange cheese sauce over his ex wife. She laughed and squealed as the sauce poured down the front of her face, covering it entirely. She stuck her tongue out and licked her lips, because she actually enjoyed the taste of it. It was quite delicious in its own crazy way. She hunched her shoulders as the cheese sauce poured onto her back and down onto her cleavage. The top of her body dripped in the cheese sauce. Her dress smeared now in orange and green. She felt the cheese sauce on her tanned legs and down to her ankles. She could feel the mess down to her high heels. She casually wiggled her foot. When the cheese sauce had ceased falling, Eva shook her arms and moved her mouth around making funny faces. She playfully blew some kisses.



“Next, we know that Eva here loves salad. She eats it all the time. That is how she keeps her lovely figure,” the host said. “Yes, I like salad, but not on my head. I like to eat it,” Eva said with a laugh. By his time, Tony already had the bucket ready. It was filled with rotten salad. It was complete with lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, carrots and even some croutons. Unfortunately, they had already started to rot and to turn brown, even black in some areas. It smelled worse than anyone could imagine salad smelling. Tony held, the much lighter bucket in the air. He then turned it over. The rotting salad instantly rained down over Eva’s head, falling all over her. She wiggled her legs as it fell. Individual bits of the salad fell all over her. It stuck all over the mess that was already covering Eva’s body. It was as if she was tarred and feathers except with salad. Bits of lettuce were everywhere. Tomatoes and cucumber slice stuck in various places on Eva. She stood up and turned around, letting some of the mess fall off. This revealed that her backside had not gone uncovered, even though she had been seated. Huge amounts of the mess had collected in her lap and beneath her bottom where she sat.



“All that is left is the salad dressing to go with your salad,” the host said. Tony was given a bottle of creamy ranch dressing as well as a bottle of thousand island salad dressing. He took one in each hand. He held then over his ex-wife. He turned them over and began to empty the salad dressing onto her head. He criss crossed them back and for. The flows of orange and white salad dressing overlapping one another as they went along. Salad dressing covered Eva’s head and breasts. Tony poured the salad dressing onto her as if she were a living bowl of salad herself. A close up was shown of Eva’s face followed by a shot that was close up of her body. It started at her feet and panned the full way up her body. She was really taking this well. People had expected her to be furious. She was not, but her reaction was better than anyone could have expected.



“Eva you seem quite calm and collected,” the host said. “Yeah well, I am plotting my revenge as we speak,” she joked. “How are you feeling?,” the host asked. She looked sarcastically at him. “I feel, very, very messy,” she said,” I better get a shower after this at least,” she said,” My friends and family are going to love this. I know Tony has. No matter what he says. That’s ok, everyone can have a good long laugh at my expense. Everyone’s going to see this anyway.”



“Well, we would like to thank Tony Parker and we would like to give and extra special thanks to Eva Longoria for being such a good sport, you really got to hand it to her,” the host said. Everyone gave her a round of applause. She bowed and said thank you. Tony did his best to get out of there as quickly as he could. He got a text as he was heading home saying,” I will have my revenge. I should have poured cheese sauce on your head. LOL”


I  found this clip of Eva dunking Tony on the Ellen show.  It goes along with the theme of the story well.


No comments:

Post a Comment