Sunday, 14 February 2016

Zooey Deschanel a flush is Happening

Zooey Deschanel a flush is Happening

Zooey Deschanel starred in a movie that most people considered awful called the Happening. Her performance in the film was not the best of her career. As a result of this film, she was selected to appear on Let Her Have It. The idea was that there would be revenge on her for subjecting the public to her performance in this disaster of a film. She agreed to appear on the show because she thought it would be funny. It was also her way of trying to make amends. 

When she appeared on the show, she wore a dress that she wore in the film. She was welcomed to the show by Mr. G.. He shook her hand and led her to the sofas. “So, Zooey, I suppose the main reason that you were asked here today is because of a little film that you appeared in called the Happening.” Half of the audience let out an audible groan at the mere mention of this fil. She made a funny face. 

“Oh yeah, that. Well, can we forget about that one, maybe?”, she said. “Well, how could we ever forget? It was a tour de force. A true epic. A cinematic classic of the highest order, for sure,” he said sarcastically. “Um, yeah, it was pretty bad, I know. I’ll have to admit,” Zooey said,” Sorry to the director,” she said. “Oh I wouldn’t say that. The writing. The virtuoso acting performances. I mean this is a film that will go down in history.” Zooey rolled her eyes and laughed. “Look, I am just an actress,” she joked,” All I can do is go in and read the lines that are given to me the best I can. We have very little say in the finished product, especially, when the director has a certain vision,” she explained. “It’s ok, I think everyone understands that. You were given a pretty unlikeable character as well,” he said. “That is true. Try as I may, it is just how she was written.”

“Zooey, you are right though, the film was pretty bad overall. It was laughably bad though, so that is something. The viewing public was subjected to this atrocity and someone should have to be punished for that. Unfortunately, that person is going to be you tonight.” “You know what, I’m good with that. Everyone can take their frustrations out on me. I will pay for the collective sins of the filmmakers. I hope all of you are happy,” she said, looking and pointing into the camera. “I think it will bring closure. All of the negativity and dislike of the film being released symbolically onto you tonight.” “I am so in for it,” she said with a laugh. 

“What we were thinking, Zooey was that because you made a crappy movie, there was one punishment that was more appropriate than any other for you,” Mr. G. said. Zooey shook her head and licked her lips knowingly, laughing to herself a bit. “Oh, I see,” she said slowly,” I am guessing that because my movie was shit, that I will be getting “shit” on, so to speak,” she replied. “ Well, if it is the giant flush that you are referring to then, yes, that is what we had in mind for you today,” he replied. She laughed. “Ok,” she said,” This is for all of the fans. We are even after this though,” she joked, pointing at the camera.

The Giant Flush was revealed. She clapped her hands and laughed as she got her first glimpse of it. “ Oh my god, it looks stinky,” she joked. “Care to join me,” Mr. G. asked, standing up. They walked arm in arm over the giant toilet. “ I guess I better take my seat on the throne,” she chuckled. “This is just so embarrassing,” she laughed. She lowered herself onto the small toilet. She crossed her legs when she sat down, revealing a good view of her sexy bare legs beneath her dress. “How many of you think that Zooey deserves this?,” Mr. G. asked. Zooey dashed her hands back and forth saying,” Come on, no.” The audience loudly cheered that she did in fact deserve the fait that was about to come her way.  She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head dramatically, miming that she was surprised by this.

“So, Zooey, you appeared in the Happening. It was a pretty crappy film. All who saw it will agree. Now it is time to receive a pretty crappy gunging,” Mr. G. said, standing by the giant flusher. “ Ok,” she said,” But I don’t want to ever have to hear about that damn movie ever again after this,” she said, pointing her finger. She shook her head and chuckled. “Ok, Zooey it is time to get flushed.” She closed her eyes and grimaced, shaking her head as the audience counted down. “Three….two…one, flush her.” 

Mr. G. pushed down on the flusher.  The noises of the giant flush then began. It began with the noises of someone going to the toilet followed by a flushing noise. Zooey could hear this above her. She looked up briefly and realized that, at this moment, the brown gunge was just making its way through the seat of the larger toilet above her head. She quickly looked forward just in time for the brown mess to begin to pour straight down onto her face. She made a funny face as streams of brown gunge poured down the front of her face. She then shut her eyes and mouth tightly as her entire face was soon completely covered with the flow of thick brown gunge.

It poured down the front of her dress and all over her hair. It poured wildly, splashing all over her bare legs. Brown gunge soon covered her pale bare calves, dripping all the way down to her ankles. The toilet below her also was being covered in the brown muck. More poured down her neck, followed by her chest and back. Her brown hair was covered in similar coloured gunge. Her face was hit dead centre with an ongoing stream of sloppy gunge. The sounds of the Giant flush continued as the gunge plopped all over her body. 

It seemed to go on for ages, but it finally slowed to a trickle. Zooey gave an incredulous expression as she slapped some gunge from her hands and dress. She then cleared some from her eyes and face. Her face a brown mask of gunge. Even her teeth were streaked with brown gunge. The audience whistled and cheered in laughter. The camera panned up her body showing gunge dripping everywhere. 

Mr. G. approached the sloppy actress with caution. “So, Zooey, what was that like?,” he asked. “That was,” she paused,” Definitely, a thing,” she joked. “You must feel so much better. The weight is now off your shoulders. Making amends. Now you know what it was like for all of those paying customers to watch that movie.” “To be honest, I probably got off easy,” she joked,” I think I’d rather be covered in this crap than to watch that crap on the screen,” she joked. She ran her hands over her gungey legs and then shook Mr. G.’s hand. She made a funny face into the camera and waived as the show ended.

1 comment:

  1. Please can you do a story on Emeila Clark?