Natalie Portman it was a surprise
Natalie Portman had escaped mess before. She could not think of anything that would be more embarrassing than getting messy, especially on television as a celebrity. She could not believe that somehow she had managed to find herself in a situation where just that could happen to her. She had agreed to appear at a special charity fundraiser that was going to be televised nationally. Natalie along with other co-stars from her latest movie were all put up for a vote with one of them to be the one who would end up getting messy. Natalie figured that the odds were that she would be pretty safe. She never believed that she would be the unlucky one to get the mess.
Throughout the show there was a build up. Numbers were flashed on screen for each of the actors. People had to call in and vote for who they wanted to see get messy. Natalie smiled when she was shown and waived. The producers would not give the candidates any clue how the vote was going along the way. She did not look overly nervous because she was up against five others. Natalie wore her hair down but pulled back. She wore a black cardigan and skirt with a white shirt underneath. They all knew that they did not want to be the one who received the most votes. When Natalie was shown, she begged the viewers not to vote for her.
Finally the time of reckoning arrived. It was time for the results. The host began to read the results. “Thanks to everyone for calling in and voting. We raised a ton of money for charity. Now it is time to find out who will be the one to get the mess. Here we go. The person that received the most votes and who will be getting the mess is…” Natalie closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.” Natalie Portman.” Natalie laughed, her mouth fell wide open. Everyone else clapped and laughed. Her head was really spinning now. She was going to have to face bucket loads of messiness in the next few minutes. All the others shook her hand and offered their condolences.
The presenter then spoke to Natalie,” So, Natalie Portman, bad luck. You are that special person. Do you have anything to say?,” they asked. “Yeah, please don’t do this,” she said. She laughed. “Sorry, can’t do that,” they replied. “Natalie Portman will now be placed in the stocks,” the presenter said. Some stocks were rolled out. Natalie blushed and laughed at her situation as she was led towards the stocks that awaited her. She took a deep breath and was really sweating at this point. She was strolled towards the stocks. She was made to lean over and to place her head into place. She squirmed as her head emerged from the stocks through the hole that was there for it. Her head was nearly all that was visible through the stocks. She looked decidedly uncomfortable. Everyone cheered as she was locked into place. She had a very sheepish look on her face. She looked wide eyed from the stocks. Her colleagues gathered around to try and get a good view of what was about to take place. A close up was shown of her face. She looked slightly annoyed and overwhelmed.
“Well everyone, you voted to see Natalie Portman take the mess and that is exactly what is about to happen,” the host said. With that some women dressed in sparkly gowns emerged carrying jugs and buckets with them. Natalie could not move to turn her head and look at them as they approached. The ladies all had different coloured dresses on. They were green, blue, red, black etc.
The first carried a jug of chocolate syrup. She walked towards Natalie with a beaming false smile. She approached her face. She held the jug over her head and slowly tipped the edge of it over. Natalie closed her eyes as the chocolate sauce began to pour over her brown wavy hair, down her forehead and over her face. She shook her head slightly giving a look as if to say,” I can not believe this.” Everyone cheered and applauded as the brown sauce poured down her face, dripping down her cheeks, dripping off of her nose and chin. The woman then pulled the jug backwards, pouring more sown over her back and down her body. She shook her wrists as much as the pillory would allow. Chocolate dripped from her fingers and elbows. She grimaced, flashing her teeth, which were about the only feature of her face that was not covered in chocolate at this point. The lady then sacheted off, turning to corner.
The next lady approached. She was carrying a small bucket filled with rice pudding. She walked up in front of Natalie and displayed it in her hand for the crowd and the audience at home to see. She then turned around and tipped the bucket over on top of Natalie’s head. She grimaced as she felt the thick sloppy substance fall from above onto the stocks and all over her head. I landed with a glopping noise as it plopped onto her head and face. A gigantic long glob of it stuck right down the front of her face. It was a surreal site seeing the sloppy, thick rice pudding stuck to Natalie Portman’s face. It covered her birthmark and large portions of her face. It splattered across the front of the stocks and down her arms.
The next lady followed. She was carrying a hollowed out pumpkin with her. She stuck her hand into the pumpkin and pulled out a handful of pumpkin guts and pumpkin pie filling. She tossed it into Natalie’s face. She then took out another handful and place it in Natalie’s face. She rubbed it around in her face with her hands. She took two more handfuls and draped the orange mess over Natalie’s head. Some stuck, some tumbled downwards, landing on the floor. She then turned it upside down over Natalie’s head and let was left fall out over head. In this bit were a lot of pulp and seeds.
The next woman came forward carrying a small jug of green slime. She showed it to everyone then started pouring it over Natalie’s back. She moved it back and forth over the oscar nominated actress’s body, pouring it down her back, over her ass, down her legs and then over her head, leaving a trail of gooey green slime everywhere as she poured. Natalie sighed as she felt the slimy green substance pouring all over her body. She could feel it all over her expensive clothes and inside of them as well. She could feel the slimy mess against her skin. The lady smiled widely as she poured the slime over Natalie.
The next woman carried a beaker of gravy in it. She leaned over and showed Natalie the gravy as she approached. Everyone laughed. Natalie rolled her eyes. She then tipped the gravy over Natalie’s head. It poured over her face. She closed her eyes as thick brown gravy poured down over her face. The lady then moved the beaker and poured the rest over the rest of her body. Gravy dripped down from her extremities. It was everywhere, pouring down onto the floor from her body. Everyone watched as gravity took the gravy down her body.
The next lady carried sloppy joes with her, minus the buns. Only they were cold and leftover. They were in another jug. This time, she placed it in front of Natalie and then pushed it upwards into her face and then over her head. This completely covered her face in ground beef in sauce, filled with peppers and onions. She gasped as she received a face full of the thick substance. Some went into her mouth a swell. When the jug was removed, her face was covered. She opened her mouth and loads of the sloppy joe fell from her mouth, down her chin onto the floor as she gagged slightly from the awful taste.
The final woman then approached. She carried a normal pie. She displayed it for all to she. She stood next to Natalie. She put three fingers in the air. She signalled for everyone to count. Everyone counted,” Three…two..one.” She then took the pie and pushed it as hard as she could into Natalie face. It landed with a thud noise. The pie smashed into her face. The women pushed it around into her face, holding it there with some force. She then let go. The tin dropped, revealing Natalie’s face covered in creamy pie. She rolled her eyes and licked her lips.
Everyone clapped as the host thanked everyone and signed off for the show. Natalie expected that she would be let out now, but she was not. She was made to stay in until the show was over and everyone had left. The stagehands then let her out. She stretched her muscles and then went back to the dressing room to clean herself off.
Natalie Portman had escaped mess before. She could not think of anything that would be more embarrassing than getting messy, especially on television as a celebrity. She could not believe that somehow she had managed to find herself in a situation where just that could happen to her. She had agreed to appear at a special charity fundraiser that was going to be televised nationally. Natalie along with other co-stars from her latest movie were all put up for a vote with one of them to be the one who would end up getting messy. Natalie figured that the odds were that she would be pretty safe. She never believed that she would be the unlucky one to get the mess.
Throughout the show there was a build up. Numbers were flashed on screen for each of the actors. People had to call in and vote for who they wanted to see get messy. Natalie smiled when she was shown and waived. The producers would not give the candidates any clue how the vote was going along the way. She did not look overly nervous because she was up against five others. Natalie wore her hair down but pulled back. She wore a black cardigan and skirt with a white shirt underneath. They all knew that they did not want to be the one who received the most votes. When Natalie was shown, she begged the viewers not to vote for her.
Finally the time of reckoning arrived. It was time for the results. The host began to read the results. “Thanks to everyone for calling in and voting. We raised a ton of money for charity. Now it is time to find out who will be the one to get the mess. Here we go. The person that received the most votes and who will be getting the mess is…” Natalie closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.” Natalie Portman.” Natalie laughed, her mouth fell wide open. Everyone else clapped and laughed. Her head was really spinning now. She was going to have to face bucket loads of messiness in the next few minutes. All the others shook her hand and offered their condolences.
The presenter then spoke to Natalie,” So, Natalie Portman, bad luck. You are that special person. Do you have anything to say?,” they asked. “Yeah, please don’t do this,” she said. She laughed. “Sorry, can’t do that,” they replied. “Natalie Portman will now be placed in the stocks,” the presenter said. Some stocks were rolled out. Natalie blushed and laughed at her situation as she was led towards the stocks that awaited her. She took a deep breath and was really sweating at this point. She was strolled towards the stocks. She was made to lean over and to place her head into place. She squirmed as her head emerged from the stocks through the hole that was there for it. Her head was nearly all that was visible through the stocks. She looked decidedly uncomfortable. Everyone cheered as she was locked into place. She had a very sheepish look on her face. She looked wide eyed from the stocks. Her colleagues gathered around to try and get a good view of what was about to take place. A close up was shown of her face. She looked slightly annoyed and overwhelmed.
“Well everyone, you voted to see Natalie Portman take the mess and that is exactly what is about to happen,” the host said. With that some women dressed in sparkly gowns emerged carrying jugs and buckets with them. Natalie could not move to turn her head and look at them as they approached. The ladies all had different coloured dresses on. They were green, blue, red, black etc.
The first carried a jug of chocolate syrup. She walked towards Natalie with a beaming false smile. She approached her face. She held the jug over her head and slowly tipped the edge of it over. Natalie closed her eyes as the chocolate sauce began to pour over her brown wavy hair, down her forehead and over her face. She shook her head slightly giving a look as if to say,” I can not believe this.” Everyone cheered and applauded as the brown sauce poured down her face, dripping down her cheeks, dripping off of her nose and chin. The woman then pulled the jug backwards, pouring more sown over her back and down her body. She shook her wrists as much as the pillory would allow. Chocolate dripped from her fingers and elbows. She grimaced, flashing her teeth, which were about the only feature of her face that was not covered in chocolate at this point. The lady then sacheted off, turning to corner.
The next lady approached. She was carrying a small bucket filled with rice pudding. She walked up in front of Natalie and displayed it in her hand for the crowd and the audience at home to see. She then turned around and tipped the bucket over on top of Natalie’s head. She grimaced as she felt the thick sloppy substance fall from above onto the stocks and all over her head. I landed with a glopping noise as it plopped onto her head and face. A gigantic long glob of it stuck right down the front of her face. It was a surreal site seeing the sloppy, thick rice pudding stuck to Natalie Portman’s face. It covered her birthmark and large portions of her face. It splattered across the front of the stocks and down her arms.
The next lady followed. She was carrying a hollowed out pumpkin with her. She stuck her hand into the pumpkin and pulled out a handful of pumpkin guts and pumpkin pie filling. She tossed it into Natalie’s face. She then took out another handful and place it in Natalie’s face. She rubbed it around in her face with her hands. She took two more handfuls and draped the orange mess over Natalie’s head. Some stuck, some tumbled downwards, landing on the floor. She then turned it upside down over Natalie’s head and let was left fall out over head. In this bit were a lot of pulp and seeds.
The next woman came forward carrying a small jug of green slime. She showed it to everyone then started pouring it over Natalie’s back. She moved it back and forth over the oscar nominated actress’s body, pouring it down her back, over her ass, down her legs and then over her head, leaving a trail of gooey green slime everywhere as she poured. Natalie sighed as she felt the slimy green substance pouring all over her body. She could feel it all over her expensive clothes and inside of them as well. She could feel the slimy mess against her skin. The lady smiled widely as she poured the slime over Natalie.
The next woman carried a beaker of gravy in it. She leaned over and showed Natalie the gravy as she approached. Everyone laughed. Natalie rolled her eyes. She then tipped the gravy over Natalie’s head. It poured over her face. She closed her eyes as thick brown gravy poured down over her face. The lady then moved the beaker and poured the rest over the rest of her body. Gravy dripped down from her extremities. It was everywhere, pouring down onto the floor from her body. Everyone watched as gravity took the gravy down her body.
The next lady carried sloppy joes with her, minus the buns. Only they were cold and leftover. They were in another jug. This time, she placed it in front of Natalie and then pushed it upwards into her face and then over her head. This completely covered her face in ground beef in sauce, filled with peppers and onions. She gasped as she received a face full of the thick substance. Some went into her mouth a swell. When the jug was removed, her face was covered. She opened her mouth and loads of the sloppy joe fell from her mouth, down her chin onto the floor as she gagged slightly from the awful taste.
The final woman then approached. She carried a normal pie. She displayed it for all to she. She stood next to Natalie. She put three fingers in the air. She signalled for everyone to count. Everyone counted,” Three…two..one.” She then took the pie and pushed it as hard as she could into Natalie face. It landed with a thud noise. The pie smashed into her face. The women pushed it around into her face, holding it there with some force. She then let go. The tin dropped, revealing Natalie’s face covered in creamy pie. She rolled her eyes and licked her lips.
Everyone clapped as the host thanked everyone and signed off for the show. Natalie expected that she would be let out now, but she was not. She was made to stay in until the show was over and everyone had left. The stagehands then let her out. She stretched her muscles and then went back to the dressing room to clean herself off.
I requested this story a while ago, but I was quite unwell at the time you wrote it and forgot that I never got around to commenting on it - sorry about that :(
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I'm really glad you wrote this. It always bugged me that she got away clean in the Keira Knightley story, and generally doesn't seem to have much written about her in WAM fiction (surprisingly) so I love that it finally caught up to her here. She really gets it bad here and gets covered in some pretty unpleasant stuff, and then doesn't even get let out until way later, so I think it's safe to say she finally got her due! Good job :)