Aisling Bea, a short story
Aisling Bea is an up and coming comedienne. She has appeared on some minor television shows and is beginning to make a name for herself. She is beginning to get famous. As a result, she was asked to appear on a special for Red Nose Day. She jumped at the chance to do it, because it was a very good opportunity to get face seen on national television at a time when most of the country would be watching. She only hesitated momentarily when the word gunge tank was brought up. She did comedy for a living. She could not very well refuse to take a gunging for charity. It would have made her look horrible. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to it or anything, but she thought that it might be a bit of fun. She was more than able to laugh at herself.
So, on the day, the comedienne got herself ready and headed over to the gunge tank. She wore a pair of cache dungaree trousers and a red and black checked flannel shirt that was open at the neck. When it was her segment of the show, it was thrown over to the presenter. They told the world that Aisling Bea had kindly and generously agreed to be the one to sit in the gunge tank. “I’m just doing this for charity, mind. Don’t you be getting any funny ideas,” she quipped. “And you all better appreciate it,” she joked. “ The things we do for charity, I don’t know, these days,” she said, “ Sometimes I just can’t be asked,” she said, quoting a bit of her routine. “It’s quite comfortable in here, actually, I can’t be asked to get up, I might just stay in here all day,” she joked. She put her feet up in the tank and put her hands behind her head, lounging. Everyone laughed as she clowned around.
Just at that moment, however, gunge swiftly dumped on her from above. It was purple. It splashed down onto her legs and body, almost knocked her over, but she managed to stay as she was. The gunge poured down over her body and onto her face. She comically waived her hands and gave a worried face as gunge poured down onto her face and hair. She shook her head, splashing gunge around. More poured down her outstretched body. Sitting as she had, had only managed to give the gunge a much larger target and now it was getting everywhere. She smiled and gave two thumbs up as the gunge continued to dump over her.
It was raining gunge on the mildly famous funny lady. She held out her hands as it fell on her from above. She closed her eyes and moved her lips as gunge poured down her face. She rubbed her hand across her face and through her hair. When it finally trickled to a halt, the presenter came over and spoke to her. “Well Aisling Bea, you were such a good sport, thank you so much for taking one for the cause.” “Oh don’t mention it. In fact, I want to let you know that I have decided, from now on, I am going to be doing this every Saturday night at mine. You are welcome to come along. The more the merrier,” she said. No one knew if she was kidding or not. In reality, she was only half joking. She had quite enjoyed how the gunge felt on her. The feeling of being gunned was something that she had quite enjoyed and would not be averse to trying again.