Cat Deeley

Presenters Poll Part 2

Cat Deeley had spent years on children’s Saturday morning television. She spent years on SMTV Live. Strangely enough, she was one of the few presenters that had appeared on a Saturday morning children’s show that had managed to escape from getting messy. This had not gone unnoticed and Cat’s good luck was just about to run out.



Cat had now made a name for herself on American television and was now doing incredibly well for herself. Cat was about to make her first appearance on UK television in some years. Little did she know what was in store for her. She had been set up. She was unaware that a vote had been going on and that she was one of the leaders.



Cat had of course seen what had happened to people like Holly Willoughby, Konnie Huq and Fearne Cotton on similar shows to the ones she had been on. It even surprised her that nothing like that had ever happened to her, as her shows were very similar. She had never said that she would not take part in anything messy, it had just never been suggested or even thought about by the people who ran her show.



On this day, Cat entered the studio to be interviewed. She wore a peach coloured blouse and a tight fitting black skirt. She was introduced, waived and then sat down on the couch, crossing her legs. The host said that Cat had been in America doing television for sometime, but had gotten her start on UK television doing Saturday morning kid’s shows. He said that he wanted to welcome Cat back to the UK and give her a welcome back gift that would remind her of her days doing children’s shows. This would entail a nice gunging. “Actually,” Cat said,” I never actually really got messy in my days on Saturday morning television.” “Well, all the more reason. That isn’t very fair is it. I think that you are long over do,” the host said,” It think that it is only fair. What do the audience think?” They all cheered there approval. Cat put her hands over her mouth and giggled. She smiled and turned red. “Are you joking?” she asked. He shook his head. “Ok,” she said,” I’ll do it.” Little did she know that she really did not have that much of a choice, but the fact that she was willing to allow this to happen made everyone cheer. She adjusted her skirt and laughed. She opened her mouth wide and shook her face in the camera, making a funny face. She turned her head and widened her eyes as she saw the cart of potential messes being wheeled in for her benefit. “I am ready,” she joked,” I have been waiting for this moment for years. I couldn’t escape forever could I?” She laughed and made funny faces. She tried to look over to see what she was about to get covered in but it was no use trying. At the end of the day, she would find out soon enough anyway, when it was poured all over her. “Are you ready for this Cat?,” the host asked. “Oh yeah! Of course, bring in on,” Cat replied sarcastically.



The first thing that the host grabbed was a large bottle of thousand island salad dressing. Cat tried lowering her shoulders and burying her head, but it did not work. The host started to pour the bright orange salad dressing onto the top of Cat’s head. Her jaw dropped and her eyes went to the back of her head as she felt it over her head. It dripped down her beautiful streaked hair in lashes of orange. It then started to fall onto her face. Layers of thick orange salad dressing made their way down her forehead and down her face. She screwed her lips up and tried to blow the salad dressing from her face before it reached her face, but it didn’t work. The host brought the bottle forward. She squealed and contracted her muscles as the salad dressing was poured down her face. It dripped from her eye brow. It fell onto her mouth and down her nose and cheeks. Large amounts of salad dressing covered her face, while some of her tanned smooth skin was still visible beneath. More fell from her face down her body. It plopped onto her delicately lacy top and fell in blobs onto her skirt and legs. She opened her legs slightly as the salad dressing fell between her legs with a plop. More went on her sexy knees. When the bottle was empty Cat laughed and squealed, her mouth still wide open. She looked ridiculous covered in the smooth orange mess that covered her.



The next thing that the host grabbed was two strawberry milkshakes. He picked them up, grabbed the lids and toss them aside. He then walked up to Cat. “Oh no,” she said when she saw what was heading for her. He lifted one up behind Cat and started to pour it over her head and down the back of her neck. She screamed and nearly jumped out of her seat because of how freezing cold the milkshakes were. She clenched her teeth as he brought the shake forward and dumped the rest over her awaiting head. She closer her eyes as the thick pink mess fell onto her face and down her body. He took the second shake and started pouring it onto Cat’s black socks and shoes. She extended her legs as he proceeded to pour the ice cold shake up her calves and all the way up her thighs. The rest he poured onto her skirt. Cat took her fingers and wiped her eyes. She put her hands on her skirt. The mess was already so thick that she was able to take two handfuls of the mess and toss them to the side. Cat was now already covered in a mixture of orange and pink mess. It streaked and covered her beautiful hair and sexy tanned body. Her shirt already getting heavy from the mess that engulfed it.



The next thing that was taken was several trays of lasagne. There were two large trays each the size of a sheet cake, but nearly twice as deep. The trays were filled with mince, strips of noodles ,cheese and white sauce. The conglomeration of the lasagne would make for a very interesting item to pour onto Cat. Cat screamed,” Lasagne!! Oh my god!!” He took the first tray in both hands. He positioned it in front of Cat. “You wouldn’t dare,” she said jokingly. He then thrust the tray of lasagne forward towards cat. He smushed it against her, causing the contents to fall out all over her. He pushed the tray against her body. He then lifted it, revealing Cat, now covered in saucy bits of meat, noodles and cheese. Large chunks of the lasagne stuck to her face and body. She took her hands and tried to remove some of the larger chunks from her armpits, lap and hair. The host then took the second tray. This one was cut up into squares that were serving sizes. He brought the tray closer to Cat and then started to grab handfuls. He took the first and plopped it on top of Cat’s head. The next, he dropped down the back of her top. She could feel it slide down her back to the small of her back. He took his hand and smushed it around. She could feel it smush against her bra strap. The next he placed in her arm pits. He gently lifted her arms, one at a time, he placed the lasagne under her arm and then lowered it. He placed the next bit on her thighs. The next he forced down the back of Cat’s skirt and inside the back of her underwear. Finally, he took the last two handfuls of lasagne, one in each hand. He walked forward and thrust the lasagne into Cat’s face. She choked slightly as he twisted the disgusting pasta around in her face. She spit out mouthfuls, as he mercilessness twisted the leftover lasagne in her face.



“Ok Cat,” the host said,” We have another little surprise for you. Today we have some guests from your past that would like to say hello.” Cat scratched her head and gave a confused look. The audience chattered amongst themselves about who it might be. “Well, it won’t be that much of a shocker, but of course, your old mates Ant and Dec are here. They are not just here for pleasantries either. They are here to finish the job. I am sure they have wanted to do this for years. Everybody, let’s all welcome Ant and Dec.” Ant and Dec came into the studio to the audiences applause. “Looking good Cat,” Ant said. “ Thanks,” Cat replied,” Hi boys,” she said in a fake sexy voice. “So, guys, as you can see, Cat is a little dirty right now, but we need something to finish her off and we thought you two would be the perfect people to do the honours.” “Well, we would be delighted to,” Dec said,” And yes, we have wanted to do this for years, but never had the chance. She really deserves it.” Everyone laughed including Cat. “Bring it on,” Cat said and raised her arms, pumping her fists.



“Ok, guys, we have something a bit special planned for Cat today. Our friends at Let her Have it have been kind enough lend us a brand new device that they are debuting. Let’s reveal it now.” The curtains opened and a device known as the giant flush was revealed. What was revealed was a normal, slightly dirty looking toilet. Next to it was a plunger, a toilet brush and a roll of toilet paper. Above the small toilet was a large toilet. The bowl was positioned directly over the small toilet. There was a tank and a giant chain flusher. “Ok,” the host said, “This is what is known as the giant flush. This is how it works. The victim, Cat in this case is going to take a seat on the throne. She will sit on the toilet. Then, Ant and Dec will get to flush the large toilet. That will send the contents of the giant flush through the bowl and all over Cat. You will be flushing the toilet on Cat. The contents is brown, very lumpy gunge.” Cat’s jaw dropped again. Ant and Dec and the whole audience laughed and cheered. Before she could process what was happening, Cat was lead over to the giant flush. She positioned herself on the toilet and looked up. “I can’t believe I am sitting on the toilet on national television,” she laughed. “Ok guys, when you are ready, flush the toilet on your former colleague.” “Leave us for America will you,” Ant joked. In a second the pulled the enormous flusher. With that the studio was filled with the noise of a toilet flushing, followed by other noises associated with the toilet. Cat looked up just as a large amount of brown gunge poured through the large toilet seat above her and straight onto her face. She closed her eyes and jerked her head forward. The thick brown gunge now piled onto her head. It covered her bare legs in thick yet runny brown gunge. The crowd as well as Ant and Dec went wild pointing and laughing at Cat. The last thickest bit of gunge then fell from above and right onto the top of Cat’s head leaving a small collection on the top of her head. Cat sat on the toilet laughing. “Thanks for that,” she said sarcastically,” I never knew what I was missing. To think I could have had this every week. I am so glad to be back in England.”

This is part 1 of the results for the presenters poll. This part is involving Christine Bleakely, as she got the most votes. The second part involves Cat Deeley who came in second.

Presenters Poll Part 1

Christine Bleakley had been doing shows on mainstream television for several years. She had always somehow managed to escape from all situations completely clean. Her co host Adrian Childs always seemed to be the one put in embarrassing situations, but on this day it was all going to change. Everyone who worked on the show with her was keen to see her get her just desserts. Christine had no idea that it was coming either. She didn’t realize that everyone she worked with was dying to see her get embarrassed. They were going to teach her a lesson. Everyone who worked on the show had set this up for weeks. At the end of the show on this particular Friday the joke, and mess, would be on Christine.
At the end of the show, Christine sat on the couch and was about to say goodbye to the viewers. She was interrupted and was told that there was a surprise in store for her. Christine was truly surprised. She had not expected that anything special would happen today. For a second she really thought it might be something good. Christine wore a yellow blouse and a very short, tight fitting black skirt. She sat crossing her tanned legs and had her hair in a ponytail.
“What’s this surprise then?”, Christine asked with a smile. Christine did not even see it coming when a buckets came pouring at her. She had no time to react before the substance inside splashed all over her. She screamed as she could feel and smell a revolting substance all over her body. She lifted her leg as some of it fell. In a second she knew what it was, tuna salad. It stuck to her hair and fell down her top and all over her legs. Bits went up her skirt on her bare thighs. She could feel it on her body already, clumps of stinking smelly fish mixed with mayo, sweet corn and god know what else.
Before she could even react, more food was being thrown onto her. In an instant a large bowl of cheesy broccoli soup was thrown on her. It splashed in her face, all over her top and onto her bare legs. The light green and white soup dripped from Christine’s tanned body, down her legs, down her calves to her ankles. She wiped her face taking two handfuls and throwing some soup sideways. She started laughing.
The next thing that was flung in Christine’s direction was a gigantic, oversized bowl of salsa. Straight into her face and body was thrown a gigantic amount of the salsa. Bits of tomato, garlic and peppers in the tomato sauce hit Christine in the face. She spit out bits as the watery sauce trickled down her face and body. The crew, of course thought that this was the funniest thing that they had ever seen. Christine crossed her arms and gave an annoyed look before laughing again and then squealing. She rubbed her salsa covered hands on her skirt and top, trying to clear some of the collected mess away.
Adrian now grabbed a heavy bucket of oatmeal. Christine begged no as he approached. He gave an evil sounding laugh and then tipped the bucket over her. The disgusting thick oatmeal slowly fell and landed with a thud on Christine’s head. She closed her eyes as it fell. It stuck to the top of her head and dripped from her fringe. A blob fell from her head and landed on her crossed legs. As it did, oatmeal flew off of her in all directions. It now dripped from her nose. She shivered as it made it’s way down her back and down to her bottom.
Finally, Adrian was handed a large can of a well known brand of dog food. He showed it to Christine. She shook her head and just laughed. She jokingly made a woofing noise. Adrian then raised the tin and positioned it over Christine. He then turned it over. He hit the bottom of the tin with his hand, this caused the dog food to fall out onto the awaiting head of Christine. The dog food slowly poured down Chrstine Bleakley’s face. She hunched her shoulders and gagged as dog food poured onto her entire face, leaving thick brown mess all over. More poured into her lap and all over her legs.
When it had stopped, Adrian took his spot next to Christine. He started to speak to the audience to close the show. “So, thank you at home for joining us. I’m Adrian Chiles.” “And I’m Christine Bleakley.” Christine said, wiping some dog food from her mouth. “See you next time,” they said together. The show went off the air as Christine sat, covered in mess, trying to compose herself.
　
　
　

Ultra Girls or Project A

Miss Frank vs. Project A the results

“Today on our show, we have two groups from the X Factor,” Mr. G. said,” Quite frankly, they are both desperate to get back on the tv. So desperate in fact that they agreed to take part in the gunge vote. So, we have Project A, who were eliminated at the judge’s houses stage and Miss Frank who were eliminated later on. One of these two groups is going to face to humiliation at the hands of the other on national television. Both groups have been out of the limelight for some time and are really hoping tonight will help their career. Getting to trash the other group on national tv will be a bonus as well.”

The girls from Project A knew that they were at a disadvantage, because there was more of them, but they knew that they had to do this to help their careers. To be honest they were very grateful to be getting this opportunity. Even if they ended up covered in mess, it would be a good way to get some publicity. They were fun girls and were up for a laugh. Whatever was to happen it would be worth it for them. Their career could really use the boost.

“So,” Mr. G. said,” Let’s welcome our celebrities. Miss Frank and Project A.” The two girl bands entered, smiling and waiving at either end of the stage. Lucy from Project A was handed the microphone. She announced, “Actually, I would like to tell everyone that doesn’t already know, we are now known as the Ultra Girls and Project A. Although we might be ultra messy by the end of the evening, who knows.”

Miss Frank were dressed all in black for the occasion. The Ultra Girls were dressed in an array of pink and black skirts and dresses. All were tight fitting and low cut. Everyone was very tense and nervous. One group would be getting totally humiliated by the other on national tv. It would be doubly embarrassing for the Ultra Girls as they had lost out on X Factor to Miss Frank. A loss today would be even more humiliating of course. They agreed to go on the show for exposure, even if it would be embarrassing for them, they still would be getting their name in television. Miss Frank were probably the more serious group and would find getting messy beneath them, but, like the Ultra Girls, their success since being on X Factor had been limited at best. They knew that being on this show would give them some publicity. They also were relatively confident that they would win the vote.

“So.” Mr. G. said,” I think that we are all anxious to see how the vote goes and what surprises we have in store for our losers, so I think we should get on to the results as soon as possible. It will leave more time for the mess after all.” The lights were lowered. Each group wished the other good luck. They lowered there heads, crossed their fingers and looked at the floor. “Ok, everyone, here we go,” Mr. G. said,” The group with the most votes…the group that will be covered in mess for the whole world will be….the Ultra Girls.” The crowd cheered. Miss Frank jumped up and down. They grabbed arms and shook hands. The Ultra Girls mouths fell open in unison. They looked at each other in shock and embarrassment. The members of Miss Frank pointed and laughed at them. “This is going to be sweet,” the members of Miss Frank said, relieved that it would not be them receiving the mess,” They are going to be getting ultra messy.”

“So, Laura, Lauren, Amy and Lucy. Four of you and a whole lot of mess. What we need right now is for the Ultra Girls make a decision together and come up with one group member that will be at the forefront today.” The girls looked at each other and in unison, Amy, Laura and Lauren said, ”Lucy.” Lucy started laughing. She pointed at herself and said, ”Me?”

“Ok,” Mr. G. said,” Can the Ultra Girls please stand in a line. Lauren, Laura, Amy and then Lucy.” The girls stood in a line as instructed, about a yard apart. “Ok, now Miss Frank. You have to now pick a partner for the day. If you chose and stand directly across from that girl. Graziella chose Lauren and stood across from her. Shar chose Amy and Shanice chose Laura. They stood across from them as they were instructed to. “As you see Lucy does not have a partner. Lucy will be getting extra special punishment. We will get to that later.,” Mr. G. said,” Now, Ultra Girls, can you please get down on your knees and put your hands behind your backs.” The Ultra Girls gave an annoyed look, but knew that there was not much they could say because they had agreed to this. One after the other they reluctantly kneeled down and put their arms behind their backs. The members of Miss Frank giggled and rubbed there hands together as they stood directly across from their chosen member of the Ultra Girls. They now knew that they were going to get the chance to embarrass that member of the group that day. “Oh by the way , I bet everyone is wondering what is going to happen to Lucy.” “I’ll stay clean.” she burst in with. “Not quite,” Mr. G. said,” Actually, Lucy. Whatever happens to the other members of your group, you will get three times as much mess.” Lucy widened her eyes and looked annoyed. Everyone else, including her band mates cheered and laughed. “She deserves it the most,” Lauren said. Lucy shook her head and screamed, ”no!!”

With that some pies were brought out. When everyone saw them the crowd cheered. Miss Frank laughed and celebrated. The members of the Ultra Girls yelled no in protest and then laughed. The three members of Miss Frank were then handed a pie each. Lucy looked on in interest. Lauren, Laura and Amy begged Miss Frank to have mercy on them. The members of Miss Frank teased them and wiggled the pies in front of their faces. “Ok,” Mr. G. said,” It is very simple. We will count down from three and then, Miss Frank, you will let them have it.” The crowd laughed because they were about to see the members of the Ultra Girls pied in unison. “Ok, everyone. On the count of three, let them have it.” 3...2.…1. At the same time, Graziella, Shanice and Shar thrust their pies forward into Laura, Lauren and Amy’s faces. They took great pleasure in rubbing the pies around in their chosen girl’s face. The site of three Ultra Girls being pied at once filled the audience with excitement. Nowhere knew where to look. It was a feast for the eyes. Amy, Laura and Lauren now were on their knees with their faces completely covered in cream. They licked their lips. They looked at each other and laughed. Lucy chuckled a bit, but tried not to laugh too much, as she knew that she was in for worse. With that three more pies were brought out. The members of Miss Frank were then instructed to take one pie each and line up in front of Lucy. The pied Ultra Girls laughed and cheered. Lucy blushed and cringed as Miss Frank walked towards her. She waived her and hands begging for mercy, before being told to put her hands behind her back. She closed her eyes as Shanice came forward with the first pie and thrust it in Lucy’s face. She smashed it in her face, creaming her. Creamy pie smushed all over her short brown hair. Shanice let the tin drop and Shar came forward, standing over Lucy. She talked trash before smashing the pie in Lucy’s face. She brought the tin down, spreading cream all over Lucy’s breasts as well. Finally Graziella came forward, tossing her pie at Lucy. It exploded in cream all over Lucy. Lucy’s mouth hang open. She tried clearing some cream from her ear and eyes. She licked her lips and took her hands, attempting to get some of the mess from her hair. Her bandmates laughed at her, as they kneeled side by side creamed with pie. The members of Miss Frank then returned to their places across from Laura, Lauren and Amy. More mess was brought out for the Ultra Girls.

Three buckets of gunge were brought out next. One was handed to each of the members of Miss Frank. They each took a bucket. The Ultra Girls craned their necks to see what was happening. Their hearts collectively sunk when they saw the buckets. “Ok,” Mr. G. said,” Once again, we will count down from three and then the members of Miss Frank will empty the contents of their buckets over their chosen member of the Ultra Girls.” This time they stood behind the girls. They made funny faces and gave thumbs down as the count down start. “Ok then, on the count of three,” Mr. G. said, “Three, two, one.” The audience began to chant, Gunge, gunge, gunge. The three women raised their buckets and then each started to pour. The Ultra Girls were told to keep their hands behind their back for this. Then, in an instant, the buckets were lifted and Miss Frank started to pour thick, blue gunge all over Laura, Lauren and Amy. They kneeled side by side as the members of Miss Frank slowly poured the gunge all over the three of them. Each was very careful to ensure that her girl got covered perfectly in the gunge. When the gunge stopped, all three were covered completely, dripping in mess from head to toe. Again, as much as Lucy wanted to laugh and enjoy what was happening to her bandmates, she couldn’t because she knew that the three buckets of gung that remained wee going to for her in just a few minutes. When the members of Miss Frank were done with the first three members of the Ultra Girls, each one of them grabbed a bucket of the remaining gunge and headed over to Lucy. This time they all stood around her at different angles. One behind her, one in the front and one at the side. They smiled to each other and all let Lucy have it at the same time. The first bucket was slowly poured over her head while one was thrown straight at her, all over her body. The third came from the side. Gunge splashed and flew in all directions. Lucy shut her eyes and immediately was spitting our mouthfuls of the gunge. She was slathered in the slime from head to toe. She looked like she had taken a shower in slime. When the gunging ceased and Miss Frank walked away from her, Lucy ran her fingers through her hair. She shivered and rubbed her arms. She wondered what they had in store for her next.

Next six buckets of various foods were brought out. It was explained that the members of Miss Frank would get to choose what they what like to pour on their selected girl. The remaining three buckets would then be poured over Lucy. A bucket of macaroni and cheese was selected for Laura. Ketchup and mustard for Amy and Split pea and ham soup for Lauren. The members of Miss Frank brought the their items forward and showed them to their chosen girl. The Ultra Girls turned up their noses when they saw what awaited them. Again they were counted down from three. On three, the members of Miss Frank started to pour. In a moment sloppy, thick macaroni and cheese poured all over Laura, slopping all over her, noodles in cheesy sauce. A revolted Lauren was drenched in disgusting thick green pea soup. Amy was splattered from head to toe in bright red ketchup and bright yellow mustard. The three remaining buckets were taken by the members of Miss Frank and brought over to Lucy. Shanice was first, she tipped a bucket of thick gloppy tapioca pudding all over Lucy. Lucy cringed as the thick gooey slop was poure onto her head and down her body. Large lumps stuck every, all over her body, down her cleavage and back. She shivered as she felt it down the back of her spine. The blobs dotted her body. Next Graziella took a bucket of tartar sauce. She went behind Lucy and started to slowly pour the white sauce with little green lumps down onto Lucy’s lovely short brown hair. It streaked her hair and started to fall down her cheeks and nose. More fell down her neck and shoulders and then down her chest. It started to collect in her lap and on her legs. Bits dripped from Lucy’s nose and chin. Finally Shar took an enormous bucket of dark brown gravy. Lucy pretended to hold her nose as the mess was about to hit her. It hit her square in the face. She gasped and gagged spitting out some gravy. In a second, her beautiful was coated in brown gravy. It was thick and lumpy, soft and brown. She squinched up her face as it covered her. It fell down her arms and oozed down her legs. When the gravy was finished, Lucy sat there looking forward. She giggled and laughed. She could feel it all over her body including inside her clothes and underwear. “You look great,” Shar said,” Very cute.” Lucy laughed and said,” Oh my God.” She put her hands out and front of her and giggled.

“Ok, now,” Mr. G. said,” We have one final surprise for the evening.” He pointed to the back of the stage. There sat an enormous dumpster. “Can the Ultra Girls please walk over and stand in the yellow box on the floor in front of the dumpster?” They stood up and walked over, dripping with slop leaving a trail of goo behind them. They went to the yellow box and gathered around. It was a tight fit so they had to squeeze together. They almost had to cuddle each other in order to fit. Lucy in the middle. Mr. G. lead the members of Miss Frank over to a button. “Ok,” he said,” What will happen is very simple. Miss Frank will push this button. The dumpster will then raise and tip, sending all of the garbage in it all over the contents of the yellow box. That means all of the trash will be poured all over the Ultra Girls. OK, do your worst.” The Ultra Girls cuddled together, hugging one another. Miss Frank gleefully jammed their hands on the button. The dumpster then slowly raised in the air until it was over and just behind the Ultra Girls. Then it tipped slightly forward. This sent the trash that it contained hurdling forward and then down. The Ultra Girls squealed and tried to cover up as they were about to get covered in garbage. Then, the crowd erupted in laughter as the garbage rained down on the Ultra Girls. The garbage was not fake either it was real. Rotting food, banana peels, and every other type of rubbish poured all over them. Garbage water flowed. The garbage stuck all over their already slimy bodies. Other people’s garbage and partially eaten food now poured onto them as the hugged each other. Their bodies intertwined. Try as they may they could not avoid the mountain of trash. When the flow stopped they stood together, trying to clean their faces and hair of the trash that stuck to them. Miss Frank and the audience, of course howled with laughter. As Mr. G. announced them again, they gave half hearted smiles and waived. Miss Frank posed for some pictures with them.

Miss Frank was allowed to sing a song to celebrate their victory. As they sang the cameras went back and forth from their performance to the filthy Ultra Girls. They were good sports and danced together, trying not to slip over on the messy floor. As the show went off the air a before and after shot was shown for all to see.

Samia Ghadie/ Smith wins an award

Below is the long awaited Samia Ghadie/ Smith story. I hope that everyone likes it and I have done her justice. As she may very well be the most attarctive woman in the world.

Samia was a bit nervous but quite excited about the evening that lie ahead. She actually felt quite honoured, which would have seemed strange to a lot of people, but she was getting an award after all. Samia Ghadie had been contacted by her agent through Coronation Street. She was informed that she was to be given an award. That award was titled the most gungebale person in the world. This, by default also meant that she was considered to be the most attractive woman in the world. She was a bit reluctant at first, but when she thought about it, this meant that she had beaten out every other celebrity in the world including huge Hollywood movie stars, pop singers and models. She thought that the voters must be mad for picking her. She actually felt quite honoured to be thought of in such high regard. She never considered herself to be beautiful or even a star. She was a down to earth, normal person who happened to be on television. Also, on Coronation Street, they always downplayed her looks and never really portrayed her as being as gorgeous as she actually was. Samia in reality was one of the most attractive women in the world. Even her hair was sexy. She knew that she was probably going to be in for a mess today, but she didn’t really mind. She thought that it would be quite fun. She decided to wear a little black dress which perfectly fit her tanned toned figure.


She thought to herself that her friends back at Coronation Street were going to have a field day with this. She went to the studio and got ready back stage. No one really told her what was going to happen but she had a pretty good idea. She expected a mess, so she would not be surprised when it would come.

The ceremony was done like an awards show. Samia waited back stage and was told that her que would be in five minutes. She heard the host announce the nominees for the award. Then the host started,” and the winner for most gungeable person in the world is…. Samia Ghadie.” Samia walked on stage smiling and waiving. She walked up to the podium. She was presented with a golden statue that looked like a miniature version of herself covered in gunge. On the bottom it read, Samia Ghadie, Most Gungeable Person in the World. “Congratulations, Samia. We have to say we never dreamt that the winner would actually show up on the evening,” the host said. “Well, if everyone voted for me and actually thinks that much of me, the least I could do is turn up. I am quite flattered, actually. I can’t believe that there are people out there that actually find me attractive. Getting this award over all those huge stars is amazing as well. To be in the same breath as Rihanna, Britney Spears, Jessica Alba, Beyonce. I don’t think I deserve this actually,” she laughed, “I want to tank everyone though. I think this award is going on my mantle piece.” “So, Samia,” the host asked,” Do you know what is coming next?” “No,” she replied,” but I can have a pretty good guess. It probably involves me and copious amounts of food or gunge poured all over my body. I don’t really have a choice now do I?” she laughed. “Well, you are pretty much right on the money with that.” With that the curtain was drawn back revealing buckets of mess and a chair. There were also several messy devices that were set up for the evening as well. “I see it’s all set up for me then. You lot are going to love this aren’t you. It’s going to be quite funny actually. I’m going to get nailed. I have a few ex boyfriends who will enjoy seeing this I think. Well, bring it on, I suppose, I have to just accept my fate,” she said. She looked back at what lie on the stage and caught her breath, it looked as though she was going to be in for a long messy evening.



“So, Samia, I think we will start with one of the messy devices.” “Whatever you say,” Samia replied. The spotlight then moved to the far end of the stage, revealing a copy of the piewash. “Samia, I don’t know if you have ever seen the old tv show What Would You Do, or seen the piewash before.” “I think I may have heard of it, but I don’t think it was on in England.” “Well, this is the piewash here. Basically, you will have to sit in it and be strapped in. Your body will then be “cleaned” with pie filling.” Samia’s eyes widened and she laughed. “Ok,” she said with a big laugh. Samia was lead to the chair. She hoisted herself in and was strapped in. She was not given goggles, as used to happen so many times in the past. She secured herself, fixing her skirt. She looked around her and took in what was about to happen. She smiled politely and looked up, as she did the chair started to rotate, which jolted her a bit. She held on tight. As she looked up, the cream started to flow straight down onto her faces. A line of the pie filling fell down her head and across her face then down her body. The other jets then started spraying cream, criss crossing Samia’s tanned skin and black dress. She closed her eyes and squealed. She could feel the cream coming in all directions as she rotated. She put her hands on her lap and lowered her head as the pie filling combined itself into masses of squishy slop all over her from her knees up. The piewash came to a stop. Samia laughed and put her hands before her. She rubbed her arms and calves in the cream. She lifted her arm and pretended as if she was cleaning herself in the shower with the cream. When the host approached her she said,” I am totally covered already, but I suppose that this is just the beginning. I’ll have to just grin and bare it I suppose.” Samia was unstrapped from the Piewash and stood up. She smiled and walked to the centre of the stage again.



“The next device we have is something called the pie guillotine.” “Sounds scary,” Samia said,” Off with my head.” The spotlight moved to the other end of the stage now, revealing a copy of the pie guillotine from Wild Animal Games. Samia blushed as she realised what was about to happen to her. Before she knew it she had been lead over to the guillotine. “ How it works is, we will raise this bar. You will then lie down on the guillotine, with your head in position. The bar will then be lowered down over your neck, leaving you completely helpless. Then, this lever will be pulled and that pie that you see suspended above your head will be released and will fall, directly onto your waiting face. So Samia, are you ready to face the pie guillotine?” “As ready as I could ever be,” she replied. The host raised the bar. Samia slowly walked around the side. She sat her bottom down and then spun herself around, laying on the board. She moved her head and neck into the right position and positioned herself correctly, looking up at the ceiling, she could see the giant pie that was going to be released onto her face. The host then lowered the bar down over Samia’s neck. She lay helpless no, not being able to move or to try to avoid the pie that awaited her in any way. She tried to brace herself for the impact of the pie, but there would be no countdown, so it would be hitting her when she least expected it. In that moment the host pulled the lever. In an instant the pie came crashing down with some force straight into Samia’s face. It exploded on her on impact, leaving a pile of pie all over Samia’s face. Her entire head was covered in the pie. Her beautiful hair streaked and dripping in pie. Samia still could not move. She was left in the guillotine for a short period of time. She lifted her knee and wriggled about, as she had the urge to clean some of the pie from her face. She was left to lie there just a little while longer before the bar was lifted. Eventually the bar was lifted and she sat up. She cleared her eyes and turned towards the audience. She licked her lips and laughed. She was not given a towel, so tried to clear some of the pie from her eyes and nose with her fingers, wiping them onto her dress. She stood up and wiped some of the pie from her hair. She walked to the centre of the stage awaiting what would be happening to her next.



“Ok Samia, You’ll be glad to know that we will only be using those two messy devices today. The bad news is we have a whole fridge full of foods that are going to be poured all over you as well.” The stool of doom was brought out to the centre of the stage, which Samia sat on. She wondered what sort of foods he meant, but knew that there would be no use arguing and that all she could really do is sit back and let things happen. “This dress is getting heavy and messy on me,” she said, “Would you mind if I removed it?” “Don’t let us stop you,” he said. Samia unhooked her messy black dress and squeezed herself out of it, pulling it down to her waist and then down her sexy tanned legs. Samia wore matching black underwear. She wore a smooth black bra and matching thong. Everyone whistled and cheered at the site of Samia’s tanned toned body. She repositioned herself on the chair, squishing her bottom around and crossing her legs. In the meantime a whole fridge was wheeled out containing various foods that were all for her. She covered her face with her hand, shook her head and laughed. “A good use for leftovers,” She said.



The host pulled out a large jar. In the jar was a load of fish guts in brine and a sort of mayonnaise. He unscrewed the top. “Oh my god,” Samia said. She gagged when she got a sniff of the disgusting cold fish that filled the jar. She grimaced as he walked behind her. She squealed as he tipped the jar of slimy cold fish down the back of her neck and back, flowing down her shoulders and front. The fish felt clammy and slimy on her bare skin. He poured more down onto her head. Bits of the fish stuck to her hair and face. The site of fish guts all over her amazing body was a sight to behold. The host put his hand in the jar and took the final bits of fish guts from the bottom. He slopped his hand onto Samia’s flat stomach and rubbed them around, smushing the mess onto her. He did the same to her thighes. He then put the jar above her head and smacked the bottom with his hand, dislodging any loose bits, making them fall onto her head.



The next thing that he grabbed was jug of light brown gravy. He took a spoon and stirred the gravy up. He then wiped the spoon onto Samia’s panties. He then began to carefully pour the gravy down onto Samia. He started over her head and face. He poured the gravy over beautiful face, over her nose, chin and cheeks, onto her hair. He then pulled the jug back and started to pour the gravy up Samia’s calves up her tanned thighs. The light brown turkey gravy was poured up and down her tanned legs. The light brown mess looking amazing against her tanned skin. He poured some over her stomach and back and then onto her breasts, down her bra. He criss crossed over her body several times with the gravy. Her tanned skin still largely visible beneath the gravy that splattered it.



The next item he took was a large container of pickled relish. When Samia saw what it was, she could not believe it. Relish was the last thing that she expected to have poured on her. Not that she had ever expected anything to be poured on her in the first place. “Do you like relish, Samia?,” the host asked. “Yeah actually. I have burgers all the time and really like relish. I just never thought I would be having it poured on me. I guess I’m the burger today, so to speak,” she replied. She had no idea how to react to what was happening because it was so unusual. She was actually quite curious as to what this was going to feel like. The host took the relish and started to tip it over her. It felt really strange, because of the texture of the relish. It was very thick and very green. There was loads of it as well. He started to pour it over her head. Blobs of it fell onto her at first, raining down onto her. It then smoothed out a bit and flowed over her like gunge. The relish poured over her head and stuck to her face. It then flowed and oozed down her body. It fell down her shoulders and breasts. Lumps fell into her bra and her lap. The tick green mess piled on her head and lap. She opened her legs and then closed them again, causing the relish be released and to ooze out everywhere. The host then grabbed the waist band of her panties, pulled it outwards and dumped the rest of the relish into her underwear. He then snapped them shut. Samia whinced and cringed as the feeling of pickled relish all over her private parts took hold. She then pushed her hand forward, forcing the relish out of her knickers. Samia knew that any attempt to resist would have been futile. All she could do was sit there and take it.



The next item that the host grabbed was a large, catering sized bottle of burger sauce. “Since you like burgers so much, Samia, this seems appropriate.” “Oh no,” Samia said and laughed. He took the bottle and held it straight above her head. He squeezed it. The first bit was suspended in mid air for a slight moment before rolling down Samia’s forehead and down her face. The bright orange sauce fell in a thick line straight down the middle of Samia’s face. More was then poured on either side of her face, before almost completely covering her face and hair. More was poured down the front of her body. Burger sauce was poured on her lap and thighs as if her body were a cheeseburger. It poured on her thighs and down her calves to her ankles and down onto her feet and toes. He poured more up the length of her stomach and chest. He poured more down over her back. She leaned forward as the burger sauce plopped down her back and down her body. She could not deny that the burger sauce actually felt very sensual against her skin. The texture was smooth and soft. She was streaked and covered now in orange mess.



The next thing that the host grabbed was a large bucket of spaghetti hoops. Samia looked at the bucket and said, “Spaghetti? I am going to be covered in spaghetti?” She flared her nostrils and crossed her arms. She looked forward blankly. As the spaghetti hoops began to cover her she start laughing. The spaghetti hoops covered her head and made their way down her body. They stuck everywhere, from head to toe. Little O’s in disgusting sauce stuck all over her body. She had never felt anything quite like it before. When it stopped, she flicked one of the hoops from her nose and said, ”Spaghetti!”



“Now, Samia, the final bucket we have for you today is particularly disgusting I must say. It is a sort of full meal all in one. It is what we call a salad. In the bucket we have such items as coleslaw, beet root, pickled eggs, spam, pickled onions, lettuce, tomatoes, expired ham and salad dressing all in one.” “Yes, that certainly does sound disgusting alright. It’s going to be poured all over me as well. I am covered already, I suppose it won’t do me any harm. You lot must be loving this.” Samia braced herself. She knew that what was coming was going to smell revolting. She scrunched her face and her body up as she awaited the salad that was coming to her. She closed her eyes. The host lifted the bucket as the audience cheered and howled. He slowly tipped the bucket. In a second, chunks of the collected food began to fall over Samia and hit her everywhere. Pickled eggs, beet root, pickled onions and chunks of spam fell from the bucket onto her face and bucket. They all stuck to the gooey mess that already covered her whole body. Bits of vegetables and coleslaw rained over her. Spam and beetroot stuck to her face. In a moment her whole body was now peppered with the contents of the bucket. Bits stuck everywhere. She looked as if she was tarred and feathered only using bits of food. At the bottom of the bucket lie a gigantic chunk of the collected mess that had settled on the bottom. The host hit the bottom of the bucket and made the chunk fall. It hit Samia on the top of the head. Smashing and sticking to the top of her head and dripping down her hair. She took her hands and removed some of it, rubbing it around on herself and pushing some to the floor.

When the smoke cleared, Samia Ghadie sat on stage, covered head to toe in revolting slop. “Samia,” the host said. “You were such a good sport. That was everything anyone could have hoped for and more. We are so glad that you came and accepted the award.” “Well, thank you to everyone for the award. I am glad that everyone enjoyed that. It was quite interesting and very messy. Actually, it must be quite funny. I must look ridiculous. I just hope that my friends, family and co stars never get to see a copy of this tape. I have to say, never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would ever have relish and spam all over my body. It was a lot fun, really. Thanks everyone.” She smiled and laughed. She waived and then went backstage to have a shower, which she sorely needed. She asked later for a copy of the video and some stills, which she still keeps in a safe and secret place.

Katie Waissel messed by Cher Lloyd

The following is a work of fiction. Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel may be very good friends in real life. It is just for entertainment purposes. For the record I think Katie is great and she was treated unfairly by the media and the public. I think she is a really great person. I wouldn't want anyone to read this story and to think otherwise.



Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd hated each other. It was much worse than anyone in the media even realized. They argued and fought behind the scenes of X Factor during the entire show. There was bitchiness and jealousy from both sides. Most of the venom came from Cher though. She was insecure and self involved. She really believed that she was the best and would be the one who would win. She thought that Katie was a loser. When the public disliked Katie, Cher thought that this was hilarious. The public were silly enough to feel that way about Katie. Katie was a nice person who had been bullied and treated like crap her whole life. There was something about Katie that people didn’t like for some reason. Part of it was definitely jealousy. Other women were sometimes jealous of Katie and hated her for just being herself. The way Cher felt about her was similar. She though that it was funny that Katie was always in the bottom two, despite, clearly being one of the better singers in the competition. Katie, of course, did not think much of Cher, but she tried to just ignored her. Katie saw how Cher acted towards some of the other acts and it disgusted her. Cher made no secret that she thought that Katie was a bit of nerd and a weirdo.

At the Pride of Britain awards, the girls’ mentor, Cheryl Cole received a pie in the face. Cher and Katie sat next to each other watching this. “I would love to see that happen to you,” Cher said under her breath. “You know what Cher. I would love to see that happen to you as well. In fact driving a creamy pie in your face would be like a dream come true,” Katie replied. “I tell you what then,” Cher said, “Why don’t we make a little side bet. Whoever gets eliminated from the competition first will have to get covered in mess by the other person.” “That’s fine with me Cher. You really deserve it.” “That may be,” Cher replied,” But at the end of the day, I am pretty confident that it is going to be you covered from head to toe in pies and other mess. I am going to enjoy every minute of it as well. I am going to humiliate you in front of the entire world.”

The hours passed and Katie thought to herself,” I think I am being set up here. I have been in the bottom two for ages. I am, clearly going to be eliminated before Cher. I can’t win here.” It wasn’t so much that Katie minded getting messy, it was the fact that Cher would have won. Cher would really enjoy rubbing it in her face, literally. Whereas, Katie was a kind person, Cher would love the chance to humiliate someone, especially someone that she thought that she was better than. Cher would never let her back out of this bet either. Katie just had to resign herself to the fact that Cher was going to get the chance to humiliate her in front of the entire country. Katie had been through much worse things than this in her life though and could make it through it. She was definitely the bigger person. After all, Cheryl had been pied spectacularly and she seemed fine with it. Again, it was not the prospect of getting messy that really bothered Katie, it was the fact that Cher was going to be loving it.

Of course, the inevitable happened, and Katie was eliminated from the competition several weeks before Cher was. After the show, during the Xtra Factor, Cher went to Konnie Huq, the host and told her about the bet. All the other contestants were aware of the bet the week before the show. They were divided amongst themselves over who they wanted to see get messy. Most people had been routing for Cher to finally get what was coming to her though. During Xtra Factor, Konnie spoke with Katie about being voted off the show. “So, Katie,” Konnie said,” A little bird told us that there was a little side bet between yourself and one Cher Lloyd.” “Yeah, there was,” Katie said quietly, squinting and looking down at the floor. “We agreed that whoever was eliminated first was going to have to be messed by the one still in the competition. It looks like I lost. My big mouth getting me into trouble again.” She looked dejected, but tried to put on a brave face. With that the X Factor music came on and Cher came out on the stage, wheeling along with her a pillory. She brought it to the centre of the stage. Katie’s mouth fell open in shock. She then laughed embarrassingly. She was turning red. With anger and embarrassment.

Cher took the microphone. “Katie’s going in the stocks,” she shouted. The crowd cheered. Cher pumped her fist in the air. She lifted the top of the pillory up and displayed it for all to see, indicating, Katie would be secured into it. “It’s all ready for you,“ she said. Konnie lead Katie to the stocks. She tiptoed nervously, kicking her shoes off as held Konnie’s hand and walked over to the stocks. Cher pointed and laughed, taunting her. Katie was instructed by Konnie that she had to put her neck and wrists in the proper holes and the top would be lowered and secured. Katie stepped up and lowered her neck into the large hole in the middle of the pillory. She then put her arms into the other two slots. Konnie brushed her hair forward so it would not get caught in the stocks. The top of the stocks was lowered over Katie. “Lock the bitch in,” Cher said. Konnie locked the side of the pillory, securing Katie in. Katie was now completely helpless and at Cher’s mercy. Cher walked straight up to Katie’s face. There was no escape from the mess now. “I am going to love this,” she said, “I own you now, Katie. You deserve what you are going to get and I am going to love giving it to you.” “Please, Cher, why are you doing this to me? Why do you hate me so much?,” Katie asked. “You just aren’t in my class that’s all. You need to know where your place is. Anyway Katie, if you beg for mercy, I might take it easy on you.” “I won’t beg. I have dignity, unlike you Cher,” Katie replied. “Oh come on Katie, beg, tell the world how great I am and how much you suck.” “I won’t do that Cher. Do your worst. I will never beg you.”

The pies and buckets of mess were held at the side of the stage behind the curtain. Katie could not see what was in store for her. All she could do was look down at the floor or out at the audience, most of whom were laughing at her and taking pictures. Cher grabbed a pie first. “This is a moment I have been waiting for, for a long, long time,” Cher said. She took the pie and showed it to the audience. She then walked up to Katie. She stood in front of her showing her the pie. Katie grimaced. Cher suck her tongue out. “You are going to get nailed,” she said. “Ladies and gentlemen, get your cameras ready because you are not going to want to miss this,” Cher said. She started chanting pie, pie,pie, pumping her fist and getting the crowd to chant along. “Oh yes, it’s pie time, Katie.” Katie closed her eyes and scrunched up her nose. Cher leaned back and thrust her hand forward, driving the pie directly into Katie’s face. She kept her hand on the pie and rubbed around and around with some force in Katie’s face. She took the time to relish the moment. The feeling of pieing Katie was amazing. She made sure that Katie was completely creamed. The pie covered her face and blobs stuck to her hair. Cher let go of the pie. The tin stuck to Katie’s face for a moment before falling to the floor with a ping. This revealed a totally pied Katie. Her face was completely covered in the soft whipped cream. She could not even attempt to clear her eyes, all she could do was try to lick her lips. A blob of pie fell from her nose onto the stage floor. Cher was kind enough to clear her eyes for her, so she didn’t miss anything. Cher took her finger and scraped some of the pie from Katie’s nose. She stuck her finger in her mouth and said that it was tasty and that Katie should be thanking her for serving her such a nice pie.

Cher then took a second pie. This time she went around the back to Katie’s backside. Cher lifted Katie’s dress up revealing her underwear. They were white with multicoloured graffiti on them. Cher took the pie, leaned back and thrust the pie directly into Katie’s backside. Katie gasped. Cher rubbed the pie on Katie’s behind and down the backs of her legs. She let the tin stick again for a second before removing it. The cream covered Katie’s underwear and oozed down the backs of her legs. Cher then lowered Katie’s dress again. She then took her hand and smushed the pie into her dress.

Cher then took several more pies and brought them to Katie. She stood back this time and started throwing them Katie from all directions. She threw the first at Katie’s right side. She stood back alt the pie fly. It hit Katie in the chest and exploded, sending pie everywhere. She went to the other side and did the same. Pie flew with force hitting Katie’s body. In a moment she was left covered from head to toe in pie. It dripped and oozed down her slender body. Her dress was almost unrecognizable under the piles of pie that covered Katie.

Katie thought to herself, “What else can she do to me? I am already completely trashed.” She heard Cher then say, “Who wants to see some gunge? I hope you like gunge you little whore,” Cher whispered to Katie. She then produced a huge bucket of bright blue gunge. She brought it over to Katie. She stuck her finger in and flicked some into Katie’s face. She then lifted the bucket. She started pouring the gunge over Katie’s head first. It fell onto her hair, completely messing it up and soaking it in gunge. The gunge then poured down Katie’s face. It dripped down her forward and nose. She closed her eyes as it fell over her eyes and cheeks, dripping from her nose and chin onto the floor. Katie tried to spit and blow some of the gunge out onto the floor below her. Cher then moved the bucket back, sending gunge all over Katie’s body. It fell down her neck and back, all over her arm pits and down her breasts. Cher moved the bucket further r down Katie’s back, sending thick gunge onto Katie, coating her body. She then moved the bucket over Katie’s behind and down her legs. The gunge oozed and drip downwards, soaking Katie’s body and leaving large puddles of gunge beneath her. Cher stood back and admired her work for a second.

Next Cher brought out a number of different cans of food. She noted that these were all expired and were no longer edible, but were perfect for what she was about to do with them. Cher took the first can which was tomato soup and started to pour it onto Katie’s back and arms. The next tin was baked beans. She tipped these down onto Katie’s head , the beans pouring on Katie’s head and running down her face. The next can was a can of Tuna fish. Cher took the can and dropped the tuna onto Katie’s head. It stuck to the top of her head, some dripping down her face. The next can was filled with fruit salad. Cher sprinkled this up and down Katie’s body. It stuck all over the gunge and pie that already covered her. She then took a tin of spaghetti hoops and poured them down the back of Katie’s neck. They fell into her dress and down into her cleavage. They also oozed down her arms and over her arm pits. Cher took the last can that contained mushy peas and poured it right down the back of Katie’s dress. When the can was empty, Cher took her hand sand smushed it onto Katie’s back, sending mushy peas squirting out the top of her dress. Katie was now covered not only in gunge and pie but a mish mash of disgusting expired canned foods.

Cher stood in front of Katie, pointed and laughed. She taunted Katie. She stood next to the trashed singer and posed for photos. Her mouth open smiling, pointing at Katie. “You just got owned Katie. That’s what you get. Sorry.” Katie was released from the stocks by Konnie. Konnie put on her sympathetic face. “Katie, how are you feeling?” Konnie asked. Katie wiped some of the mess from her face. “I’ll be fine. I’m a bit messy right now. It’s a little embarrassing, but I’ll be ok. I’ll never sink to other people’s level. I want to thank all my fans and everyone who voted for me. A little mess never hurt anyone. I hope people can see who I really am now and who other people really are.

A messy Katie waived to the audience as they cheered for her. She walked off stage and back to her dressing room to have a shower.

Updates

Hi everyone. I will be away for about a week, so I will not have access to the computer. In the meantime, feel free to have a look at the other website
http://wammo.fotopic.net/list_collections.php

or to email me with thoughts, ideas etc. I am working on the Samia Ghadie story. I am about halfway through. I was hoping to have it done by now, but oh well. I have a list of future polls and stand alone stories as well in the pipeline. I started a Serena Williams story as well, but thought it might be a bad time, as she ill.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their support.
best Regards, JRG

Iceland: Kerry Katona vs. Coleen Nolan

Either Kerry Katona or Coleen Nolan is in for a special evening courtesy of Iceland. they will be earning their endorsement fees on this evening. It will take place in an Iceland store.