Kelly Clarkson human cheeseburger
Kelly Clarkson agreed to make an appearance on one of the
children’s television networks. She wore a purple t-shirt with the network’s
logo on it and a pair of jean shorts. She was at one of the stages where she
was looking slightly more chubby than usual. Her weight was something that
fluctuated quite a bit over the years. At this point, she was a bit chubby, but
she looked all the better for it. She took part in all of the silliness that
took place on the show. It was sort of a Stwnsh Sadwrn or Ministry of Mayhem
sort of show that she appeared on.
It was getting towards the end of the show and the
presenters stated that today they were going to be making a human cheeseburger
and that the main ingredient was going to be their special guest, Kelly
Clarkson. Kelly’s mouth fell open and she pointed at herself with her finger.
Her surprise may well have been put on though because, in all honesty, she was
probably aware of what would be happening before the show. She walked with the
presenters to another area of the set.
On the set was a gigantic hamburger bun with a giant
hamburger paddy in it. It was at least a yard or more wide. Kelly walked over
and took her place, sitting down on it, crossing her legs in front of her. She
shook her head backwards and laughed. She put her hair into a ponytail. She
then looked around. On the set were the young people who were going to be doing
the pouring. It was explained that the giant human cheeseburger needed to have
toppings added to it. Surrounding the area were plastic containers filled with
different items that would be added to the human cheeseburger. The presenters
would be announcing what was going to be added.
“I think that we will start with the lettuce,” one of the
presenters said. One of the young people walked over and tipped a container of
shredded lettuce straight over Kelly’s head. It rained down on her, sprinkling
down everywhere on her, sticking along as it went. “How about some tomato?,”
the presenter asked. The young person
then, with their other hand tipped a container filled with chopped
tomatoes over Kelly. They fell everywhere around her, some toppling down her
shirt and collecting between her legs. “Now for a cheeseburger, we obviously
need to have cheese,” the other presenter said, “Let’s add some cheese on
there,” they said. Another young person came over and tipped a plastic
container filled with shredded cheese over Kelly Clarkson. Kelly rubbed her legs
as the cheese cascaded down over her face. It stuck to her face and hair. It
was a combination of orange and yellow cheese. The young person then took their
hands and stuck them into the container. They then comically sprinkled the
remainder of the shredded cheese on top of Kelly Clarkson’s head.
Up until this point things had been relatively dry and calm
for Kelly, but things were about to change for her. “You know, everyone has
ketchup on their cheeseburgers don’t they. We must add lots of ketchup. We need
to get it on there good and proper I think,” one of the presenters said. One of
the young people came forward with another plastic jug filled with bright red
ketchup. They smiled and laughed. Kelly bowed her head, looking down. The young
person then began to pour ketchup all over her. It poured over her hair then
splattered down her face. Her facial features were soon unevenly covered in a
splattering of ketchup. They then poured some over her shoulders and down the front of her shirt, splattering it in ketchup.
She looked up allowing everyone to see her face covered in ketchup. It was not
covered completely, however.
“ You know what some people like mustard on their
cheeseburgers. I think we need to add some mustard.” Kelly shook her head. She
crossed her arms across her chest as another young person took a jug of bright
yellow mustard and slowly dumped it over her. It poured down onto her dark
brown hair and down the back of her neck. It then oozed over her face and down
her shoulders and chest. The thick bright yellow adding to the thick bright red
of the ketchup that covered her already. She closed her eyes. The mustard
dumped into her lap and onto her legs as well. “Some people even like
mayonnaise on their burgers,” one of the presenters said. The young person then
took a container of mayonnaise and firmly placed it on top of Kelly’s
head. He squeezed it pushing the pliable
plastic around so the top of her head almost fit inside of it. The mayonnaise
oozed around the sides, tumbling around the sides of her head. He pushed it
down some more before removing it. When he did, he left an uneven slab of
mayonnaise stuck to Kelly’s head and forehead. He then pushed his hands
downward onto it. He then rubbed the mayonnaise around on her face and shirt
with his hands. This left Kelly absolutely speechless.
“Got to have pickles,” the presenter said. The young person
then promptly dumped a plastic jug of pickles over Kelly’s body. Some of them
stuck to her, but most tumbled down her body and collected on her lap and
between her legs. “We almost forgot the burger sauce,” another presenter said.
Kelly cringed as another young person approached. Kelly looked up and bit her
lip as the young person tipped their container over her, sending a slow moving
wave of thick orange burger sauce down over her. It was very thick and poured
painfully slowly onto the singer. She
actually opened her mouth a little bit as the burger sauce poured directly all
over her face and fell down her body. She moved her head forward as her face
was covered in the sloppy burger sauce. “I must look ridiculous,” she murmured
under her breath. The former American Idol and International pop star was now
covered in burger sauce on national television.
“It actually tastes quite good,” she said with a laugh. She
was someone that enjoyed her food. She was now experiencing it in a way that
she never could have foreseen. “I think we need some tomato relish don’t you,”
one of the presenters stated. Kelly braced herself as another young person came
forward with a huge smile and began to dump chunky tomato relish over her. She
had never really tried this before. The thick mess slopped its way down over
her face. She held her hands out. The camera focused in as blobs of the thick
relish slowly made their way down her face. She stuck her tongue out as it made
its way down over the front of her face. It fell in a thick line shape down her
face and her body. When it finally stopped, she took her hand and took some of
it, she stuck her tongue out and licked a bit. “That’s actually quite tasty as
well”, she said.
“Let’s finish her off with some fried onions,” the presenter
said. The last young person came forward and quickly moved their wrist, dumping
the full container of fried onions over the pop singer. They stuck to her hair
and dangled from her forehead and face. They also stuck to her collar and to
her clothes. All of the young people then picked up the top of the giant burger
bun. They walked over together and threw it at Kelly. It landed on top of her. She then decided to lay on her back in the
collected mess and to allow them to place the bun on top of her.
“There we have it, Kelly Clarkson has been made into a human
cheeseburger and she looks good enough to eat, doesn’t she? We want to thank
her for everything. She has been wonderful. We will see you all next time.
Goodbye for now,” the presenter said. As the credits began to roll, the camera
panned around to show Kelly in the burger bun. She smiled as the camera moved
around. She then sat up and waived. She was still covered from head to toe in a
mountain of burger toppings. She smiled and laughed. As the show went off the
air, Kelly could be seen saying,” What, no bacon?”
Can you do Rose Leslie and Carice van Houten next? A lot of face and chest coverage please.
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