I tried to simulate the way Stacey speaks. You have to imagine her talking really fast in her Dagenham accent when she speaks in this story. I hope everyone enjoys it.
Stacey Solomon was chosen for a very special award. That award was for the most annoying person on the planet. Stacey’s friends and family arranged to get her to the award ceremony. Although they loved her dearly, they had to agree, she could be very, very annoying at times. They knew that what would happen would be good natured and that Stacey would see the funny side of the whole thing. She would be totally up for this.
Stacey arrived with her family a crowd of people gathered that included her friends and family. “Oh my god,” she said, “What are all these people doing here?” “They are here to present you with and award,” “Oh my god, an award, what kind of award, this is amazing, I am so honoured, this will be great.” “The award is for the most annoying person on the planet.” Stacey smiled awkwardly. “Annoying, well I guess I am annoying, so I guess I can see that, I guess if you are annoying at least it is good to be the most annoying, so I will take that as a compliment.”
“Oh by the way, Stacey, there is something special that goes along with this award, and that would be, to start with, a nice pie in the face.” “Pie in the face? Oh my god, I have wanted to get a pie in the face since I was a little girl. Can I pie myself please that would be great.” The host could not believe what he was hearing. “Wow, Stacey. You are something else. You are really like this all the time aren’t you?” “I guess so, now where is that pie. Let me have it please.”
Stacey was handed an enormous cream pie. She licked her lips. Everyone looked at her in disbelief. She looked at it and laughed. She laughed long and loud. She then pulled back and then smashed the pie directly in her face as hard as she could. She held it there for a minute and then pulled the pie tin away from her face. She revealed her face covered in layers of pie. She held the pie tin in front of her and laughed hysterically. “How do I look?,” she said. “That was so much fun. I loved that. I love pie. It was everything I expected and more. Is there anything else you have for me?”
The host pointed across the room. A whole table of pies was revealed. “Stacey, how about facing the pie firing squad.” “Ok,” she said, “Let me have it.” Stacey was lead over to a wall and advised she must stand there. All of her friends and family were allowed to go over to the table and to grab a pie each. Each of them grabbed one pie each and headed over and stood across from Stacey. “Oh my God,” she said, “This is going to be amazing. This is so funny.” “Ok, everyone.” the host said,” On the count of three, nail her. 3...2...1” Stacey screamed, closed her eyes, but did not move a muscle as the pies were hurled in her direction. Pies smashed into her face and all over her body. One after the other, exploding all over Stacey. Pie after pie hit her making smashing noises as they hit her over and over again. When the barrage stopped everyone clapped and laughed. Stacey moved her bangs out of the way. Cream dripped from her hair. Her whole body was a mish mash of cream. “Ha,ha,ha, that was amazing. That must have been fun, throwing pies at me. I must look very funny.” She tried jokingly posing like a model would. She made kissy faces and moved her hands around.
Stacey then noticed that there was a gunge tank in the corner. “A gunge tank. I love those too. Can I go in there? Please gunge me, that would be so funny. I used to see them on the tv when I was a little girl. It would be so much fun,” Stacey said. The host smiled and pointed to the tank. Stacey ran over as fast as she could. She slammed the door and took her seat. She smiled and looked up. Her closest family members were brought over to the lever. They were going to get to do the honours. They counted down again. The cord was pulled. Stacey smiled and laughed as dark blue gunge poured down over her. She revelled in the gunge. She did not shy away at all. She laughed and laughed continually as the gunge poured over her. The gunge seemed to pour for ages. The door opened and Stacey emerged. Stacey was drenched in perfect gunge. “Hi,” she said in sarcastically sexy voice. “How do I look. I feel great. I feel sexy.” she laughed and laughed, dripping in blue gunge.
“Stacey, you are the best sport ever. You took that really well. Fair play to you.,” the host said. “Well, what can I say. I am always up for a good time. I really got nailed didn’t I? Is this being recorded?” “Let’s hear it for Stacey Solomon everyone. The most annoying person in the world.” Stacey bowed several times. She shook the host’s hand and then waived. “Thanks, everybody,” she said.
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