Hannah Spearitt vs. Tina Barrett.

Hannah Spearitt vs. Tina Barrett.




S Club 7 decided that they would do a reunion concert, but things did not go as well as they had planned. Tickets had not sold as well as they hoped that they would. There was one show in London in particular that the tickets were just not selling for. The band was told by management that something would need to be done. There had to be a way to get more fans to buy tickets and to stir up some publicity for the once popular band. The promoters came up with a plan and set it in motion before they had told the band members what they were doing. They were told that they were to gather for an emergency meeting. All seven showed up.



“Hi everyone,” the promoter said,” You are probably wondering why you were called here today. Well, it has to do with the ticket sales for the London show. They are terrible. It was decided that we need to do something to draw the crowds in. We have come up with a way.” The band perked it’s ears up as this had really caught their attention. “ In a word, gunge.” “Gunge,” they screamed. They all reacted badly to this. “What do you mean gunge?,” Jo said. “Gunge for who?,” Rachel asked. “Gunge for one of you,” he replied. “Well which one of us,” Tina replied, in an annoyed voice. “You guys and the public will decide just that,” he replied,” You seven will vote now. The two band members with the most votes will be put up for public vote and the public will choose. The person with the most votes will be getting gunged by the rest of you on stage at the concert.” Their reactions ranged from pissed off to intrigued. The ones who knew they had little chance of winning the vote thought that this was a great idea. The ones who knew they were at risk were not so pleased.

Everyone was given a sheet of paper and a pencil. They all wrote down one name. The papers were handed in to the manager. He began to read the votes out loud. “One vote for Tina,” Tina shook her head and bit her lip. “One vote for Rachel,” Rachel blushed. “One vote for Hannah,” Hannah gave a pained look. “One vote for Tina. Tina has two votes now.” Everyone was in dead silence as the votes were read only three votes left to go. “On vote for… Hannah. Two for Hannah, two for Tina, One for Rachel, two votes left. One vote for.. Hannah.” Everyone cheered. Hannah turned red and curled her nose. “God, no,” she said. “That means, Hannah is definitely up for vote. The other space is between Rachel and Tina. The last vote is for …Paul. That means Hannah has three votes, Tina has two. No one else has more than one. You two will be up for the vote now.” The saved members of the group were relieved and very happy at the result, especially Rachel. They teased Hannah and Rachel one would be getting messy in front of a crowd of thousands. Hannah felt very uneasy. She felt that she would definitely be the one who would get the gunge now. She had hoped for Rachel to be up against her in the vote, because she felt the public would have wanted to see Rachel get messy more than her. That is why she had voted for Rachel, even though she did not want to see her get messy in particular. She had voted tactfully and it had not worked. “I am going to find out who voted for me,” Tina warned, “I am going to strangle whoever voted for me.” They would never know for sure who voted which way, but below is how it went:

Hannah- Rachel

Paul- Hannah

John- Hannah

Jo- Tina

Tina-Paul

Rachel- Hannah

Bradley- Tina



The concert date was promoted accordingly. The public were told that one member of S club was going to be getting messy and the fans would be voting. Posters with Tina and Hannah’s faces on them were everywhere. The stunt worked. All of the tickets sold and the interest in the concert was raised tenfold. No one in S club had any sympathy on Tina or Hannah. They were going to have to take one for the team. Everyone was going to benefit, so whoever was going to be the unfortunate one had no room to argue or complain. It was going to be the highlight of the show. When each ticket holder came to the arena they given a card with Tina and Hannah’s names and pictures on it. They had to mark who they wanted to see get messy and hand it in at the door. The votes were counted during the first act. There would be an intermission and then Hannah and Tina would come onto the stage and the results would be read out. Then someone would be getting gunged. All of the other six would be doing the gunging. The unfortunate loser would have to perform the whole second act covered in mess.



During the intermission, tension filled the air. The other five members of S Club made themselves scarce, avoiding Tina and Hannah. No one left their seats during intermission. No one wanted to miss out on what was about to happen. They were there to see more than just a rock concert. Either Tina or Hannah was going to get it and get it good. The cards with the results were given to Bradley. He came out on stage to deafening applause. “Ok,” he said,” Is everyone having a good time?” The crowd cheered. “Does everyone want to see some mess?” the crowd cheered even louder. “Well, as we all know this is a very special show tonight. As you all know, there was a little vote today. Who wants to hear the results,” the crowd cheered louder. Tina and Hannah were prodded onto the stage. The both looked annoyed. Tina gave a sarcastic smile. Hannah just looked pissed off. She was really angry. She figured that it would definitely be her getting messy.” They walked out on the stage as the crowd cheered. They both wore tight fitting orange outfits. Their shirts were tied off at the waist, showing their midriffs. Tina had her hair back in a ponytail. Hannah‘s hair was in her usual boy like blonde bob. “So Tina ,” how do you feel,” Bradley asked. “I am annoyed, but quietly confident. I hope it will not be me. I hope it will be Hannah here,” she said. She pointed to herself, shaking her head, making a face as if to say, not me. “How about you Hannah?,” he asked. “How am I feeling?,” she shrieked,” I am very unhappy at the prospect of public humiliation at the hands of you lot if I lose. Let’s just say I do not want to lose. I want to avoid losing at all costs.” “Well, there you have it,” Bradley said,” Who wants to know the results? Bad attitude from our girls here I think. Any way, here we go.” The spotlight was put on Tina and Hannah. The crowd hushed. Tina sarcastically laughed. Hannah looked at the floor and glared at Tina and Bradley. “Our loser, with 63 percent of the votes. Is… Hannah.” The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter at Hannah’s expense. Tina pointed and laughed at her. Tina was visibly anger, shaking her head and muttering angry words. She glared at Tina. ”I’ll get you for this,” she said angrily, pointing her finger at Tina. The crowd was so loud that her swearing and complaining was not audible. “This is bullshit,” she said. Of course this only made everyone think that the situation was even funnier.

A chair was placed at the centre of the stage. Tina set it down. She patted the seat and beckoned for Hannah to have a seat with her finger. Hannah stomped over. She lowered her ass into the seat. She angrily crossed her arms and legs, swearing to herself. She was bright red with anger. In the meantime the rest of her band mates had come on stage carrying buckets. “Time for the highlight of the night,” Bradley said. The whole crowd began to chant in unison, “Gunge her, gunge her.” Hannah rolled her eyes as her band mates formed a line. They argued amongst themselves who would be the first to nail her. They drew straws in the end and lined up in order. Hannah flared her nostrils in anger. She looked amazing. Her skin tanned and freckled. Her flat, muscular stomach showing. Her short blonde hair looking as amazing as ever. She was not surprised that she was the one in the chair. She knew the audience would choose her over Tina. “Ok, everyone. Here we go. Sorry, Hannah,” Bradley said. “Oh. Shut up you bastard,” she said.

Tina was first in the line. She stepped forward, pumping the audience up with her hands. Smiling and waiving. She grabbed her item and headed for Hannah. It was a huge creamy, banana cream pie that she had in her hands. She walked up in front of Hannah. She displayed the pie in front of Hannah so that she and the audience could get a look at it. “Yummy,” she said in a funny voice. Hannah rolled her eyes. “Please, Tina, you wouldn’t,” she said. “Oh I would. I have wanted to do this for years.” She shook her hands trying to beg Tina off. Tina motioned to the audience to count down. 3.…2...1. Tina pulled back and then smashed Hannah square in the face with all of the force in her body. Hannah screamed. Everyone’s silence had erupted into a frenzy of laughter. Pie went flying as it nailed Hannah. This moment would be shown over and over again on the big screen. Hannah’s face was coated in banana pudding and whipped cream. Her tan skin dotted in white and light yellow mush. She couldn’t help but laugh. She removed the tin with her hands and shouted, ”Noooo!,” half laughing. She stuck out her tongue , making a funny face. She pointed at Tina, and in a more lively mood said,” I’ll get you for this.” “Hey everyone, let’s look at that again in super slow mo,” Tina said. “No,” Hannah screamed. Hannah then appeared on the big screen. Tina had a remote control. “Check out the replay,” Tina said. On the big screen it showed Hannah clean, moments earlier. Tina pushed play and the footage rolled in slow motion. Hannah laughed, watching herself get pied. Tina made it go really slow, catching every second. She then rewinded it and played it over and over again in slow motion. She paused it on the moment of impact. She went back and forth over the moment the pie hit Hannah in the face. She then paused the screen on a pied Hannah. Hannah liked her lips, her face covered in pie,” Lovely,” she said sarcastically.



The next person to come forward was Paul. He smiled and winked at Hannah. He held a bucket of simple cream gunge. It was very thick however. He strolled up to Hannah, whistling as he went. “You, wouldn’t dare,” she said. He went behind her. He motioned to the audience. “Should I gunge her,” he mouthed. He then took one hand and raised a thumb. He put his thumb down and shook his head for no. Everyone booed. He then smiled and gave a thumbs up over Hannah’s head. The audience then cheered their approval. Hannah wiggled her head and gave a fake grumpy face. She then closed her eyes and braced herself. Paul waited. She braced herself expecting the gunge to hit her. When it didn’t come, she opened one eye and looked up inquisitively. That moment Paul tipped the gunge over her head. She screamed as it hit her in the face. She jerked her neck forward as the gunge now poured onto her short blonde hair. It covered it and then domed, covering the top of her head. It covered one side of her face completely. She took her hands ran them through her gungey hair and then over her neck. More poured down her body, dripping green gunge down her chest and onto her exposed tummy and navel. He had fun pouring the thick glop onto her smooth, expectant tanned skin. More fell onto her lap and over her thighs. She puckered her lips and rubbed her hair again. She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out again giving a funny face for the audience. She then placed her index fingers in her mouth and pulled her cheeks apart. She stuck her tongue out.

Next in line was Bradley. Bradley had in his hands a huge bucket of tapioca pudding. It was truly disgusting and all ready for Hannah. It was even thicker than the gunge before it. “What can I say,” Bradley uttered as he approached. He pretended that he felt bad. “Will I regret this? Oh hell no,” he said. The crowd cheered its approval of what he was about to do. Hannah cuddled her knees and arched her back forward. Bradley tipped the bucket just below Hannah’s neck. The pudding slowly trickled out onto the back of her shirt. The shirt was made out of a thin fabric and was already going see through. It could barely last any more. The buttons started to show strain. He moved the bucket up, pouring the white sludge onto Hannah’s head. Gravity moved it over her face. She leaned forward as it dripped from her nose and chin. He then moved the bucket down, dumping the pudding all over the back of her shirt and down further to her backside. Tapioca poring over her trousers and into the back of them. Hannah shivered and jumped. Her muscles spasming from the cold mess hitting her. When he was done he stood in a pose and mocked her, pointing and making comments as if he were looking at a piece of art work. She flung her head back. She grimaced trying to clean herself. She pulled her shirt out with two fingers on each side to try to air it out. She recrossed her legs. Her tan skin and orange close were now saturated in white tapioca. She licked her lips again. Her tongue nearly touching her nose. Tapioca dripping from her hair still.



Next to come was Jo. “I have a special treat for you Hannah. I think you will really relish this moment,” Jo said. “A corny joke I know, but very accurate to what is coming up next for you.” Jo, of course produced a massive, catering size jar of corn relish. Jo held it up for the crowd to say and made an ooh face. She undid the lid and tossed it aside. She lifted the jar, as Hannah gave a pained face. Her body shuttered in anticipation. “I am going to have relish…on my head,” she said. She closed her eyes tightly and contracted the muscles in her face. Jo carefully tipped the bucket onto Hannah’s head. 2this is so embarrassing,” she said. The green chunks of pickled relish began to plop onto Hannah. One by one blobs fell onto the top of her head, making a pile of the stuff on the centre of her head. Then bits started to fall down and stick to her face. Relish stick near her eye, on the bridge of her nose and on her cheeks. More fell on her neck and body, sticking everywhere. Jo then stuck her hand in the jar and took a handful. She plopped it onto Hannah’s head and started to rub it around. Hannah moaned. Jo then took a second handful. She took one hand and grabbed the back of Hannah’s head. She then took the other hand and smashed the relish in Hannah’s face. She lowered her head into it, literally rubbing Hannah’s face in it. She took another handful and flung it onto Hannah’s exposed tummy. She took her hand again and rubbed it around. Hannah screamed in disgust. She took two more handfuls and smushed them on either side of Hannah’s shirt. She moved her hands downward, smearing Hannah’s almost destroyed shirt in the mess. Finally she took two more handfuls and pushed them onto Hannah’s knees. She then moved her hands back and forth, smearing Hannah’s legs in the relish.



John was next. He was probably the member of S Club that she was closest to. They had their tough times as well. She wondered what he would have in store for her. He came forward smiling and waiving. “Hi,” he said in a funny voice. “Oh, haha,” Hannah said,” You must be loving every minute of this.” “Well, I could pretend, but I won’t. Best night ever,” he joked. John grabbed a bottle of ranch dressing. He popped the top open and walked over to Hannah. “Please, John, this is so embarrassing.” “I now. I love it,” he said. She laughed. He held the squeeze bottle over Hannah’s nose. He squeezed the bottle and sprayed a line of dressing on Hannah’s nose. Then he did the same on the top of her head. Lines of the dressing fell on her head and off it. He poured more back and forth, decorating her face. She puckered her lips as lashes of the dressing fell from her face. He poured more up and down her face. He poured more back and forth. He then sprayed some on her neck and chest. He went back and forth making patterns on Hannah’s body. He then placed the bottle down the back of her trousers and squeezed. She wiggled her bottom in the seat and screamed as the salad dressing poured onto her backside. He then took the bottle and held it high. He poured the salad dressing back and forth all over Hannah. “Thanks for that,” she said sarcastically. She patted the back of her head and hair. She blew her nose and rubbed her hands on her face.



Rachel was the last one left. She fluttered her eyelashes and smiled at Hannah as she stepped forward. She held the final bucket. The bucket was filled with spaghetti hoops. Hannah craned her neck to see what was in the bucket. Rachel pulled it away. Hannah glared at her. Rachel danced over behind Hannah. Hannah closed her nose and scrunched up her face. Rachel lead the crowd in another count down. 3...2..1, With that Rachel lifted the bucket and then turned it upside down. The crowd erupted as the spaghetti hoops fell onto Hannah’s head. The hoops in the gross sauce fell in the centre of Hannah’s head. Before she could react the spaghetti hoops had already covered her whole face down to her nose. She could feel the thick spaghetti hoops falling down her face. In a second, her whole head was covered. The Spaghetti hoops fell into her shirt and down onto her legs. She took her fingers and held her nose as Rachel continued to pour, the seemingly endless supply of spaghetti hoops onto Hannah. When the bucket was empty, Hannah was left sitting in the centre of the stage covered from head to toe in spaghetti hoops. She took both hands and put them onto her face. She moved her hands upwards, over her face and through her hair, scooping some away. As she did so, she opened her mouth wide, gasping. She then laughed in spite of herself. Her hair sticking up, face covered in sauce.

“ok, everyone, let’s give her a hand,” Bradley said. The crowd cheered. “Gee, thanks,” Hannah said. She opened her mouth, put her hand on her hip and gave a sarcastic laugh. “Ha ha ha,” she said,” Very funny. I am so pissed off. This is bullshit,” she said. All of her band mates came on stage and stood on either side of her. She stood up sheepishly and gave a half hearted waive. “I need a shower,” she said. “It is almost time for the second act,” Bradley said,” We have to give Hannah time to clean up,” he said. The crowd booed. He walked backstage as if he was going to get her something to clean off with. He retuned to the stage. He had one sheet of paper towel in his hand. He held it in front of him. “Here you go Hannah, all for you,” he said. “You’re too kind,” she said sarcastically,” I don’t think this is going to cut it though somehow.” He took the paper towel and handed it to her. She tried to wipe herself with it, but it instantly fell apart. “Great,” she said. She bent her knees and back as she laughed. “Unfortunately, though, it’s time to start act two. No time to clean up.” Hannah glared at him in disgust. She trudged to her spot on stage and had to perform the whole act covered in mess. Understandably, her focus was not on singing.