Saturday 4 June 2011

Claire Danes vs. Julia Roberts the results

Claire Danes vs. Julia Roberts the results




Mr. G. came on to the stage and opened another episode of Let Her Have It. The crowd cheered him a s he entered. “Hello to everyone and welcome to another episode of let her have it. Today we are honoured to have two academy award nominees on our show. One of them is going to come away looking not so distinguished. We have two gorgeous Hollywood actresses and a large amount of some pretty disgusting leftovers. Today we welcome Claire Danes and Julia Roberts.” The crowd cheered as the ladies entered smiling and waiving. Claire wore a pink blouse and a pair of black trousers. Julia wore a light blue blouse and a pair of brown tweed trousers. Her hair was back in a ponytail.



“So ladies, how are we feeling today about the vote and the prospect of getting messy,” Mr. G. asked. Julia responded first. “I really hope that it is not going to be me. I have a feeling that it is going to be pretty disgusting. I can just imagine what it would be like. Yuck. I do think that there will be a lot of people who might have voted for me. I don’t know. I just really hope it will be Claire.” Next it was Claire’s turn. “I think it will be her,” Claire said,” I think she is a little bit more famous than I am. I don’t know if that will make a difference though. I think that we are pretty evenly matched. In regards to the mess…No. hahaha. Julia Roberts pouring sloppy food all over me is not a prospect that I would be looking forward to. I am meant to be a serious actress after all,” Claire said in phoney posh voice.” Honestly, I’m shitting myself. Hahaha I could be in serious trouble tonight.”



“Ok,” Mr. G. said,” They are two very talented serious actresses, but one of them will be laughing very soon and the other will be getting laughed at. Who will it be? Julia Roberts? Claire Danes? Lower the lights, we will find out soon.” The lights fell. Claire said good luck to Julia as the both laughed in nervous anticipation of the results.



“Ok ladies,” Mr. G. said,” Here we go. I can tell you, surprisingly this vote was not even close. The winner had 81% of the final vote. Someone got there butt kicked here.” Julia whispered, ”It must be me,” to Claire. “The loser, with the 81% of the votes is… Claire Danes.” Julia could not hide her relief she started laughing and jumping up and down celebrating. Claire was truly shocked. She screwed up her face in an expression that seemed to say I can’t believe that. She started laughing nervously.



“So Julia, you must be pleased with that,” Mr. G. said. “You can say that again,” Julia said,” When you said the percentage of the vote, I really believed that it was going to be me. But, for some reason everyone wants to see Claire get it. I promise I am going to make it messy for you guys. Thanks for not voting for me.”



“Claire,” Mr. G. said,” Too bad.” “Yeah,” Claire said sarcastically, “ I guess people really want to see me covered in mess for some reason. I don’t think begging will help. Hey, I knew the risks. It’s going to be pretty gross I can tell. I hope everyone enjoys this. I have a feeling that I won’t be forgetting this evening any time soon. I’m sure that Julia is going to enjoy this. What can I say.”



The famous chair was brought out for Claire. She took her walk of shame and sat down, crossing her long legs. She craned her long neck trying to see what mess was waiting for her on the cart, but she was unable to. She knew that all she could do was sit there and take it. “I’m so excited, I am about to get slopped on national television,” she said sarcastically.



Julia made her way over to the trolley. “Oh yeah,” she said,” I am so glad it is you and not me. This is going to be interesting.” “Oh, I am so sure,” Claire said. “So,” Mr. G. said,” Julia the mess is waiting for Claire. When you are ready you can Let Her Have it.”



Julia started out with several bottles of ketchup. “Claire, remember on my so called life when you died your hair red,” Julia said. “Hahaha, very funny,” Claire said. Claire left and made faces and laughed. She kept saying No, please, don’t. Julia walked up behind her. Claire tried turning and looking up. Julia squeezed the ketchup straight onto Claire’s face. She squeezed some on Claire’s face as Claire squealed. Julia controlled the flowed of the ketchup on Claire’s face. She then squeezed trails of it onto Claire’s hair. Then poured some on her neck and bare arms. Then all over Claire’s shirt. Claire used her fingers on each side of her chest trying to air her top. Blobs of ketchup fell everywhere. Claire’s hair was covered in ketchup. She had ketchup all over her forehead, cheeks, chin and nose. She smiled a big smile. Her huge white smile contrasting the red that was covering a good portion of her face. Julia had emptied three whole bottles of ketchup over Claire already. “Is that it now, is it over,” Claire joked. “Not even close,” Julia replied.



Next Julia selected a large tray. She revealed that the tray contained tuna casserole. “Tuna Casserole?,” Claire said,” I don’t even know what’s in that.” “Best not to ask, I think,” Julia replied. Julia carried the baking dish over. She could feel the casserole swishing around as she walked. She was careful not to spill any. She lifted it up and started to pour. Claire fidgeted in her seat as she felt the cold mess pour on her neck and her head. The tuna casserole was actually grey. Thin grey sauce poured out first onto Claire’s neck and head. She closed her eyes and grimaced as the grey liquid poured over her face. She tried closing her nostrils as it stunk. It soaked her in greasy stinky liquid. Then globs of tuna, pasta, sweet corn and cheese fell in balls onto Claire. Before she knew it Claire was covered in the revolting casserole. The largest lump fell and stuck to the top of her head. Globs fell inside her shirt. She could feel bits of the casserole down her back. She took handfuls and rubbed it all over her legs. Claire looked into the camera gave a fake smile and two thumbs up and said,” TUNA CASSEROLE!”



“Finally, for Claire, we have some Kraft macaroni and cheese. It is very cheesy,” Julia said. This was a whole bucket of the small pasta in a cheese whiz type sauce. Julia said,” Can we make sure the cameras in close for this one. I have a feeling this one’s going to be good.” Claire started laughing and close her eyes. She looked up a few times and opened her eye trying to anticipate the onslaught. Julia didn’t start by pouring the macaroni slow this time, as Claire looked up she quickly poured a quarter of the mac and cheese onto Claire’s head. The cheesy macaroni stuck to the top of Claire’s head as more poured down onto her chest and legs. Claire tried to put both hands on her head to clear some off, but tossed her hands to her side as more poured down onto her face. The mac and cheese combining with the tuna casserole and ketchup that Claire already had all over her body. Julia emptied the bucket and pounded on the bottom to make sure every bit was poured on Claire. Claire laughed and tried to pull some of the mess from her hair and face. “It’s the cheesiest,” she said. “Sorry, Claire, “Julia said. “ No problem, Claire said,” I was bound to have macaroni and cheese poured over my head sooner or later.”



“So Claire, how are you feeling after all of that?” Mr. G. asked. “Never better, I think every girl out there is always thinking about what it would feel like to have tuna casserole poured of your head. Julia must be having the time of her life.” You never looked better,” Julia said. “Shut up, “Claire said,” My advice to any future contestants, you don’t want to lose. That’s for sure.”



“You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen,” Mr. G. said. “Thanks to our winner Julia Roberts and our big loser Claire Danes.” A close up was shown of Julia smiling and waiving and the Claire. At the end of the show slow motion replays were shown of the ketchup, tuna casserole and macaroni and cheese falling on Claire and her reaction., followed by a messy shot of Claire.

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