Sunday, 11 September 2016

Birdy posh bird

Birdy posh bird

Birdy was quite a posh but also quite a cute singer. She wasn’t that well known, but had several minor hits. She could be quite serious. She considered herself something of an artist rather than simply a pop star. Some of her closest friends started to believe that she was a bit too posh and a bit too serious. They felt that she believed that she and her music were a bit higher in the world than they really were. They felt that she could do with being taken down a peg or two. She was still quite young, but she acted like she was an old lady sometimes. They wanted her to have a bit more fun with her life. They wanted her to not be working constantly either.

They decided to nominate her for a Get Your Own Back special. They felt that she deserved to be gunged. She would not have liked the prospect of that one bit, had she known. It was not the sort of thing that she would have felt a serious artist would have done. She really was up herself a little bit and they felt that getting a good gunging would do her a world of good.

She was asked to appear at the studio and she did as she was asked. She was not told very much about why she was there. She was told that she would be on television and that some of her friends might be there as well. She wore a pair of black tights and a silk blouse. Her clothes were clearly expensive. She really was so posh that she was oblivious. She would have never seen anyone get messy on television before, because her parents would have felt that that sort of thing was too low brow and not educational enough. As a child she was made to watch a lot of programming about orchestras and antiques. 

Birdy and her friends were all welcomed on the show. They stood with the host on the stage. “Now, Birdy, you have been asked to appear on our humble little show, but you don’t know why. Your friends are here, they will tell you a little bit about why you are all here today. I am sure that you are very curious about that.” “Well,” one of them started,” Birdy we contacted the show because we feel that you deserve to be gunged. You are a lovely girl, but you are just too serious. You are so posh, prim and proper. We feel that you could do with being brought back down to Earth a little bit. You are quite young for God’s sake, but you act like you are in your fifties or something. We want you to lighten up and enjoy life a bit more.”

“Well, Birdy, do you have any defence for that?,” the host asked. She was taken aback by what they had said. She was slightly stunned. “Well I am a bit lost for words. I am sure that they mean well, but I think I am quite a fun person,” she said. The crowd booed. Her friends looked at her awkwardly. “Well, let’s see what the audience thinks, let’s hear it. If you think Birdy is in the right, let’s have a round of applause.” Only a few claps and cheers were heard. “And who thinks that her friends are right and she needs to be taught a little lesson.” Most of the audience responded with loud cheers. “Well, I think it is obvious what our audience thinks. They have sided with your friends Birdy. You have lost the vote. That means that you will be receiving the punishment. That punishment is something called to Gunk Dunk. Have you ever heard of that?,” he asked. “Um, no,” she shook her head. She literally had no idea what he was talking about at this point. “Well, you may be in for a shock. Let’s have a look.”

The Gunk Dunk was revealed. Everyone cheered. Birdy did not really look that shocked, mainly because she still did not really know what was about to happen to her. “You see Birdy, this is a pool of what we call gunge. See is a lovely green and grey colour. It is very sloppy you see. And up there is a little seat, perched right above it. What happens is that someone sits in that seat. A lever is pulled and that person is sent down into that pool of gunge.” She just looked at him blankly. “As you lost the vote, the person that will be going into that gunge is going to have to be yourself.” Her eyes were quite blank. 

“Come on with me and we will get you into position. If you lot would go over to the lever and get ready please.” He led the startled singer over to the stairs that she had to climb to take her seat above the gunge. He helped her up into place. She still looked quite calm about the whole thing. She got into place and looked forward. The host then joined her mates at the lever. “Ok you lot. You have been shown to be in the right. It is time to get your own back on your friend, the lovely Birdy.”

The friends looked at each other and smiled. They yanked the lever down as hard as they could together. Birdy closed her eyes and held her breath. Her seat ran down a ramp and then, at the end, she was pushed forward into the pool of gunge. She landed with a thud and a splash. She fell face first into the gunge, disappearing beneath it. She flapped her arms which caused the gunge to splash and splatter. When her head emerged, her curly brown hair was soaked with gunged. It was matted and clung to her head. Her face was covered in gunge. She shook her head and tried to clear her eyes. Her clothes were soaked through and through. 

The host then said,” Since your name is Birdy, we have something extra for you as well. Let her have it.” Her friends pulled another lever. When they pulled it, feathers were released from above her. They came raining down upon the singer, still stood in the gunge pool. As they fell, they stuck all over her. She was soon covered in them. This was very embarrassing. It was a bit of a mockery of her name. She took it in good humour though. She jokingly flapped her arms like a bird would. Her friends applauded and cheered. She knew that she looked absolutely ridiculous.

1 comment:

  1. Excellent! Thanks for doing it!