Lorna Fitzgerald learns
Lorna Fitzgerald had come of age. She had become a fully realised woman. She had really been getting on the nerves of some of her female colleagues. They had grown sick and tired of her attitude. They decided that they would come up with a plan to set her up and to teach her a lesson. For Comic Relief, they convinced Lorna to take part in a gunge vote against her television sister, Jacqueline Jossa. She was told that There was very little chance that she would end up winning the vote.
Jacqueline was very popular. She was extremely attractive. Some considered that her to be one of the best looking females in Soaps along with Michelle Keegan. Lorna was also told that Jacqueline had agreed to get gunged in the nude. Lorna was not happy about being put up for the vote, but she agreed because no one would have expected her to win the vote.
All of this was nothing but lies though. There was no vote, Lorna was to be messed no matter what. In order to convince her further, at the halfway point of the vote, they had Jacqueline, who they said was in the lead be given a bath of baked beans. Jacqueline agreed to do it. She was not totally opposed to mess, plus she wanted to get Lorna as bad as anyone. Lorna was told that Jacqueline thus far had 90 percent of the votes. She was so far in the lead that they were going to have her take a baked bean bath as a part of a promo for the vote. Lorna was delighted with this.
Jacqueline wore her old army green shorts that she had worn so often on the show when she was younger as well as a white tank top. She climbed into the bathtub with her long sexy legs. She sat in there. Everyone told her that she was well in the lead and would have to be gunged naked in a few days. This was only the beginning. Jacqueline grimaced and made all sorts of over the top facial expressions. She stuck out her tongue, moved her lips around and crossed her eyes as her television sister dumped baked beans all over her. Lorna laughed as she poured sloppy beans over the full length of her body. They poured all over her legs and down her chest. Beans fell down her head and face. Before long, the tub was filled three quarters of the way with beans. Jacqueline laughed and joked. Lorna looked very smug and satisfied with herself. She took a bunch of selfies and put them onto social media. She sent out messages that said, “Oh yeah, 90%. Enjoyed beaning her. She’s gonna bare it all and take a gunging. Can’t wait.” Jacqueline responded telling her not to be so smug. It was all setting up just as they had planned it. Lorna had no reason to believe that there was any chance that she would be getting messy. 90% was a plausible percentage that Jacqueline would get in a legitimate vote.
Lorna had become an arrogant little cow. Most of the other women on Eastenders played the roles of slags, chavs or bitches. Her character was an innocent. Even though she was in her early twenties now, many still treated her as a child. Because of this, she had the attitude that she was slightly above some of the others. She would never show any skin or do anything of a sexual or provocative nature. She was kind of like a little old lady to some extent in people’s eyes. She was seen as a real stick in the mud. She could be moany and stroppy as well at times. A lot of people on set were very pleased at the prospect of seeing the little madam get her just desserts.
Comic Relief Friday finally rolled around. The entire cast and crew of Eastenders was gathered around. Jacqueline and Lorna were brought centre stage. It was their television parents, Max and Tanya who were going to get to read out the “results”. Jacqueline pretended to be nervous. Ironically, Lorna was not nervous one bit. She believed that she had a 90 % lead at the half way point. “Ok the time has finally arrived. One of our television daughters is going to get it for Comic Relief. At the half way mark it was a 90% lead for Jacqueline. We can reveal that the vote has tightened up considerably since that point. The person with most votes received 55% of the votes. That person was, Lorna.” Her eyes widened and mouth dropped She looked bitterly angry. “Wait, what, no that’s impossible. That can’t be right,” she protested. “Oh, but the votes were counted many times over and you are the winner.” Her head was spinning. She could not understand how it could have been her who received the most votes. Of course, it wasn’t, because there was no vote in the first place. The whole entire thing was an elaborate set up. At any rate, everyone was clapping and cheering. They seemed over the moon. Lorna could not really understand why. She couldn’t believe that this was really happening.
There was no escape for her now. She had not prepared herself at all for the possibility that this may happen. She was all dressed up as well. She wore make up and big earrings and jewellery, the type of thing that she was never able to wear on the show. She also wore an elaborate party dress that had different areas of pattern and decoration. She had quite wide hips and curvy body. The way she was dressed was very different than normal. She usually dressed and acted very conservatively. She still was fully covered and not dressed provocatively, but she had clearly made a special effort for the evening. Her head buzzed and her mind raced. She could not concentrate on what people were saying.
Before she knew it, she was sat down in an elaborate chair. It looked a little bit like a throne, but it also looked a bit like a dentist chair or operating chair. It looked like something that a mad scientist might have in their lab in a B movie. She was sat in it. There were various quirks built into it. On the arms of the chair and at the foot were restraints. The young actor who played Jay, one of the loves of her life on the show was given the honours to put the restraints around her wrists and ankles, tied them in place. They had buckles on each of them that were tightened for her. The entire time she muttered to herself that this could not be really happening to her. She could not get her head around the fact that the results of the vote changed so much.
It was now time for her to get what everyone felt that she had coming to her. The chair was cranked up a bit and her back reclined slightly. She was now in position. The device and the set up were made especially for this occasion. Not only was it set up to disperse mess upon a person, it also allowed for their friends and co-workers to dispense of mess as well. All around the chair area were various cranks, levers and buttons. Manning them were Jacqueline, the man who played her father Max, Jo Joyner, who played Tanya Branning, the young man who played Jay and the young man who played Ben, a close friend of Lorna’s on and off screen. They would be in charge of controlling the mess. They knew what they were controlling, Lorna did not. A buzzer sounded signalling it was time to begin.
The man who played Max pulled a lever first. This lever released a massive thick, still partially frozen blob of ice cream down from above onto Lorna. It hit her head and found a resting place between her neck and shoulders it was massive, about the size of her head. She squealed and looked over at it. If her hands had been free she could have managed to dislodge it, but she could not do this. She gave a funny look, but it remained lodged where it was. It would remain there for the duration, slowly melting.
The young man who played Jay then pulled a lever. This released chocolate and caramel sauce upon her. It sprayed onto her chest and neck. Her neck and chin tightened in an attempt to avoid the splatter of it. Jacqueline then pushed a lever. The chair jerked back and then gallons of baked beans poured straight onto Lorna’s face from above. They were directed squarely onto her face. Her body was almost horizontal at this point. She closed her eyes as beans covered her face in a mask of sloppiness. Jacqueline laughed, getting payback from earlier in the week. Beans rolled down Lorna’s curled blonde hair. Jacqueline pulled the lever, yanking her television sister back into place upright. This also sent beans flying from her face.
It was then the young man who played Ben’s turn. He pulled a lever back and forth that made the chair turn slightly from left to right. He then began to pull a second one back and forth. This caused ketchup and mustard to spray upwards from below. This combined with the twisting of the chair caused the condiments to spiral over her dress and body, making an almost tye dye like pattern across her lower body.
Jo then pulled one of her levers. This sent cream corn crashing down onto Lorna from above. All Lorna could do was scowl while cream corn dumped down onto her. It coated her chest, lap and the top of her head and dripped down her face. Inch thick globs of sloppy yellow corn dripped all over her. The three men then jerked there levers. This set an array of microwave meals in plastic microwavable plates flying up at Lorna. It was the cheapest of value range meals that flew at her. Chicken korma, shepherd’s pie, lasagne, hotpot, macaroni and cheese among others flew at her, splatting her as if she was in the pie pod.
Jacqueline then pulled another lever. This caused a gigantic amount of what was said to be tuna casserole to plummet down over Lorna. Her hair was covered in a mix of smelly tuna fish, sweetcorn, bow tie pasta and sauce. She looked absolutely ridiculous. It was Jo’s turn again. She pushed as hard as she could on her next lever. This resulted two dozen cans of branded dog food that secretly hid above the chair to be tipped over and poured all over Lorna. As she looked up, dog food fell over her entire body. It rolled down her face and stuck to the top of her head. She was trashed and utterly humiliated.
As a final insult, the group of actors undid the restraints from her wrists and ankles. She believed that they were freeing her. Instead they lifted her from the chair carried her over to a small dumpster filled with soft rubbish and tossed her into it. “Well, Lorna has been well and truly trashed,” Jo said. Lorna at this point stood up in the bin and glared at everyone. They all came over. “Oh by the way,” Jacqueline said,” I guess you should know, there never was a vote. We set you up from the beginning to teach you a lesson.” “You absolute bitch,” Lorna shouted. “Hey, I even took that bath of beans to convince you. You seemed to enjoy that didn’t you.” Lorna looked down, seemingly deep in thought.
“ Ok, we are even now,” she said, pointing at Jacqueline. “Well almost,” Jacqueline said. She then smacked her hand onto a large release button. This caused a cracking noise. Lorna looked panicked. She looked up. Behind her was a second smaller bin. It was filled with sloppy brown and white gunge. When the button was pressed, it was lifted into the air and began to tip. As she looked back, Lorna was greeted with a tidal wave of brown and white gunge that poured down over her from above into the skip. “Now we’re even,” Jacqueline said, pointing and making a funny face before joining everyone in laughter at Lorna’s expense.