Coleen Rooney thinks she is better
Coleen Rooney was famous, basically for being married to a famous football player. She had turned this into a sort of career of her own. She was famous for being famous, essentially. What was worse is that her husband had, very publicly, had affairs with other women, including escorts and Colleen stayed with him anyway. This was not the best example for other women out there. Her husband was very wealthy and famous and she benefited from that greatly.
Some of the women whom her husband had slept with became quite annoyed with the situation and how they had been treated. There was a lot of discussion in the media because the women were revealed, but the men’s identities had been protected. They also had distain for Coleen because she blindly stayed with her husband even though he openly slept with anyone he chose to and did not do much to spare her the embarrassment. The situation made Coleen appear very foolish. Everyone knew her husband slept with other women regularly and she did not bother to anything about it. She looked like either doormat or a gold digger depending upon your point of view.
The other women decided to confront her on an episode of a morning chat show. She was told that she was there to discuss a clothing line that she was a spokeswoman for. She was very surprised when the usual genial hosts began to mention her husband’s affairs. “Well,” she replied,” I don’t think that this is the time or the place to discuss that.” “Well, we have a few ladies here who feel that it is the perfect time to discuss it.” With that three women walked out, including Helen Wood. The host then said,” Well , Coleen, you may not recognise them, but these are three of the women who have been regularly been intimate with your husband and they have quite a bit to say.” “Well,” she said sticking her nose up,” I am surprised that you would have women like that on your show at all.” “Women like what?,” one of them said,” This is what we are talking about. Where do you get off thinking that you are better than us somehow? Just because you have a ring around your finger? You are just as much a slapper as anyone else, more so, actually. Your husband is travelling around the country shagging people left and right and you continue to stay with him. Where is your pride? You may tell yourself that we are just a shag to him and nothing more and somehow, you are special, but you are not. You are nothing more than a bit of skirt to him just like anyone else. You are just deluded into thinking you are more than that. At least with us, we know what we are getting into and accept it. You fool yourself into thinking you are more. He does not even look at women like that. We are just pieces of meat to neanderthals like him. Tell yourself that he is in love with you. Why is he shagging anyone else he can find then? You probably only know the half of it. Anyway, we are here to teach you a little lesson. Maybe it will cause you to see some sense.”
The other two women grabbed her arms and stood her up. The third ripped her dress off of her from the centre, revealing bright pink underwear. “Aww, don’t you look cute. Are they a part of your new range?” Coleen’s hypocrisy was coming back to haunt her. Of course, these women were right. Who was she to think that she was better than them? Her husband did see her as no different from all the others. She just benefitted from the money and fame that he had, whereas these women didn’t. What they had done was actually more honest in one respect. The third woman then brought out a pie.
“Just for you Coleen. Think of this the next time you are sucking his cock. Oh, and the fact that all of us have done the same. You can probably taste another girl’s lipstick.” She then drove the pie with as much force as she could muster straight into Coleen’s face. She almost fell from her feet from the impact. The woman twisted and rubbed the pie in her face, covering her in cream. She then took a second pie and drove it into her chest and down her stomach to her waist, smearing cream all over her body. She wobbled on her high heels. Her face covered in creamy pie. Pie splattered all down her half naked body. She was in shock. “Your husband looks like Shrek anyway and he is terrible in bed. Women only like him for his money, but then you know that already, you tramp,” the women teased.
Next the first woman took two jars of sauce one of sweet and sour Chinese cooking sauce and one of chicken korma cooking sauce. They popped the lids off and then dumped both jars over Coleen. Her mouth fell open in shock as she felt the sloppy sauces sliming her. The woman forcefully thrust them up and down and then slammed her hand down on each of them, causing the sloppy mess to fall out all over her. It was very chunky and lumpy. It stuck all over her. Bits of pepper and pineapple stuck all over her. The slimy muck tumbled over her. The woman doing the pouring had a very satisfied look on her face. “Please, don’t do this to me,” Coleen pleaded.
They then followed up with a jar of tomato relish and a squeeze bottle of barbecue sauce. “Time to get sauced,” they teased. The woman dumped the relish onto her head. She then stuck her hand in the jar and pulled out the remainder. She then smeared it all over Coleen’s stomach. She sprayed the barbecue sauce all over her thighs and chest, before dumping the remained onto her dark hair.
The woman then produced containers of egg salad and spam. She took her hands and pulled out lumps of each. She then pushed her hands into Coleen’s face. Coleen gagged and sputtered as the woman rubbed the disgusting muck in her face. She then pushed two more handfuls of the mess into her breasts. Once hand on each breasts as she splattered them around. She then put a handful of egg salad down the back of Coleen’s underwear and a handful of spam down the front. She then let go. Everyone laughed at Coleen’s reaction as she felt the yellow and brown lumpy mess directly against her behind and vagina lips. Her mouthy forming a massive o shape as she gasped.
They then tossed the wag onto the carpeting. “See,” they said,” You are a dirty slag, as much as anyone else. Just because you have a ring and a piece of paper does not make you any different from anyone else. Go back and whinge to your husband. I am sure he will buy you jewellery or a car, but have a good think the next time he has an away match and he isn’t answering your texts. He is off shagging one of God knows how many other birds. You are pathetic too put up with it.”
They then took bottles of ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise and used them to write things on her body such as “Slag”, “Gold digger”, “Doormat” and “Skank”. They then threw the bottles at her, leaving on the floor covered in mess. The presenters didn’t say a word. The show just went to break. After they returned, no mention was made of Coleen Rooney or what had just happened to her.