Katherine Ryan a dubious honour
Katherine Ryan is an American comedienne who lives and works almost exclusively in the UK. She was not the best comedienne in the whole world. She could be irritating at times and tended to get on everyone’s nerves. The British Comedy Awards were an event that was held annually to honour the best in comedy. This year, Katherine was told that she would be receiving a very special award. This was the truth. Little did she know that the award was for worst comedienne and that she would be receiving a special prize along with the award. She was not told about any of this because they thought that it would make her reactions even funnier if they didn’t. They figured that she would be up for it. She was a comedienne so she was meant to have a good sense of humour. She wore a dark blue dress on the night. Everyone would definitely be laughing at her tonight, but for all of the wrong reasons.
The show went on as usual with hit and miss humour from the host and presenters. The usual suspects took home the awards. Jonathan Ross was hosting. “Now it is time for a very special award. This award is very prestigious. I have to say that it is one that no one wants to win. This award comes with a special prize as well. The award is for the least funny comedienne in the country. That dubious prize goes to Katherine Ryan. Katherine can you come up here please to accept?” Katherine looked quite surprised. She was not smiling, but thought that she could play this for laughs. She walked up on stage and Jonatan presented her with the award. “Might I say, you truly deserve this. You have really earned this award.” She leaned over and said,” Thank you so much. I am truly honoured,” in a sarcastic tone. She rolled her eyes and gave him a funny look. It really was quite humorous.
“Now, as was mentioned, there is a special prize that we have for you for winning the award. If everyone can turn their attention to the far left hand side of the stage.” He held his hand out in that direction. The curtain was pulled back to reveal a mini version of the Get Your Own Back gunk dunk. Katherine’s eyes widened. She looked off into the sky and sighed. “That is for you Katherine. We thought that it was only right that people should get their own back on you after being subjected to your act.” “Oh fabulous,” she said.
He smiled as he led her, unceremoniously, over to the small gunge dunk. She went along with it. He helped her up onto the seat, which was a bit like a regular dunk tank seat. She climbed up and sat down as the audience of her peers cheered. Jonathon held her award for her. She arranged her hair and took a deep a breath.
“So for being the worst comedienne in the country, this is what you deserve. Time to get dunked,” he said. Katherine waved as he pushed the release button in. The seat below her gave way and she plummeted downwards into the small pool of gunge. It was green and brown. Although smaller than the gunk dunk, it was actually a bit deeper. If she stood up, the gunge reached her armpits. Katherine disappeared beneath the surface which caused a massive splash of gunge. Her dress flew up and gunge flew in all directions. She splashed her arms and struggled to get to her feet for a moment or two. Her head then came exploding from the gunge, causing another massive splash. She shook her head. Gunge flew from her hair in all directions. She shook her head, trying to clear gunge from her eyes, nose and mouth.
Her hair and clothes were completely soaked in the gunge. She caught her breath as she struggled to her feet. She was not smiling now. Everyone else was laughing and applauding at her expense. They were enjoying seeing this greatly. Truth be known, she was not the most well liked of comedienne’s in the very closed world of British comedy.
The bottom of her dress kept floating to the surface, so she had to keep attempting to push it down lest her underwear would possibly be seen through the clear viewable sections in the tank. Gunge covered her face. It dripped from her forehead and her cheeks. She looked utterly defeated.
She took a bow and forced a smile. If anything, this did raise her profile and caused her to get more work, so she had the last laugh. At the time, being embarrassed by her peers was not very enjoyable. It was not the gunge that she minded so much, but the feeling that her peers were somehow rejecting her that really got to her.